What advice would you give your daughter or best friend or sister? You really want this person in your life forever?
Let him do it when heās ready,
If heās pressured from you or others it might not be as genuineā¦
And you may end up married & not truly happy
Pack his trash and leave it outside. Heās clearly manipulative and is definitely gaslighting you
marriage is not just a piece of paper
anyways some men are scared to commit cause they say marriage does change the relationship
Yesā¦. Heās definitely not into marriage
Iād say walk away but really you should be running. Never beg some one to love you.
When YOUR attitude changes? What about HIS attitude!? This will never get better, hon. Cut your losses now. You should never have to beg for real love, it flows freely.
Why buy something when you get it for free just saying
Yes get him some act right
Can I ask why marriage is so important? Honestly getting married can make things more complicated and isnāt always worth it. Giving yourself the title adds pressure in a wayā¦ Iāve been with my guy for 11yrs and been married for 3 and there are times in the 3yrs, Iāve wished we never got married. I love him and want to be with him but wonder how weād be if we never tied the knot
Pack his crap and wave goodbye.
Yes be doneā¦when your attitude changes? Seriously
I feel like in this day and age not every couple has to be legally bound by a piece of paper, but if you feel thatās what will make your relationship feel whole and official then I suppose you end the relationship. But if thereās nothing else really wrong in your relationship and itās just that piece of paper you want, Iād keep the relationship. But him acting like you have an attitude about this and gaslighting honestly he doesnāt sound adult enough for me to be married to him because itās a little narcissistic (toxic) to be speaking to you like that.
Why donāt you have an actual conversation and communicate as to why heās not ready to get married and communicate why you are ready. It may not even be that he doesnāt love you or want youā¦ are your paths sill going the same way? Combining Kids jobs money houses assets ect. marriage isnāt a joke its a responsibility and it takes work Alot of communication combining you whole lifeās as one. Probably something you should of considered before having children together but it is what it is. If you canāt do these things together then you shouldnāt need to married and if your paths are going the same way, why are you two together? If yous are happy and you both love each other why does marriage matter?
Donāt try to force someone into marriage if they seemingly donāt want toā¦ Find someone else
If he wanted to he would.
Youāre already living together. You already have a child. You are already fulfilling the role of wife. Why should he? You gave him everything already. He probably sees it as just a piece of paper at this point.
marriage is not for everyone, someone can still love you regardless of being married or not. people saying to leave him just because the SO doesnāt want to get married is just as ridiculous as this post be grateful & count your blessings for real. love & light
Iāve been with my now husband for 8 yrs. Have known him for 15yrs. We just got married last year. And when I used to bring it up. He would 1. Ignore me in a wayā¦but yet he would hint toward it to in his own way. 2. We FINALLY actually sat down an talked about it once together with none of our kids aroundā¦(we have a couple togetherā¦and a couple not) but with none of our kids around. And he finally told him the commitment scared him in a scenes of his parents were married then one day they werenāt anymore. And same for mine. So we agreed together that if we could date/ live together. āPretend marriedā for 10 yrs then we would get married for real. Well things happened and we moved it to 8 yrs. An here we are finally married an to be truthfully nothing has really changed other then my last name. Because all the things we do now as a āmarriedā couple we were doing before we got married we just added it all to paper. So maybe there is something else going on that causes him anxiety is my point here. Maybe you should talk to him not in a bold why wonāt you get married way but a soft easy way.
Start referring to him as ābaby daddyā and see his reactionā¦when he questions you, tell him you are trying to get used to the idea of never marrying him.
After 5 yrsā¦your wasting your time
** My boyfriend and I.
Why are ppl so hooked up on a piece of paperā¦ you have commitment. Hes there still after 5 yrs and have a child. Marriage wonāt stop him leaving if he wanted to
Shoot girl you did the wife thing before the ring thing. Now heās blowing you off. Run donāt walk. Heās not down to put a ring on that finger. No matter the reason. Itās too late if you ask me. I sure would not wait and what does your attitude have to do with it! Because , I sure know my attitude would just get worse with the passing days of not wanting to marry me!!
Open the door and extend foot! See ya dude!!
kick his lousy ass to the curb y waste ur time
I had a friend that raised her boyfriends kids and he never gave her a ring he would get her a washer or something for the house he owned when the kids grew old enough he broke up with her. Lucky for her a coworker had been in love with her for years and they were married within a year but it just shows some men donāt want a wife
Marriage is just a piece of paper easy to get and cheap. Divorce is a not cheap. Now dayās itās easier to wait a good couple yearās to make sure yāall going to last. Your already doing everything a wife is doingā¦ Whose to say yāall get married 6 months later divorce. Maybe thatās what heās waiting on to make sure nothing happens
Honestlyā¦ If you wanted marriage, you shouldāve sat with him before you moved in together and before you had a child together. You shouldāve made sure marriage is what both of you want.
Now you wanna dump him because he does not want to get married but you had a child with himā¦ You shouldāve made sure from the get go sis
Marriage isnāt for everyone, Some people donāt see the value of that āpiece of paperā or having a āfamily nameā / having the same surname as your children & thatās okā¦
If that was his response to you, Iād be like āyou need to respect his responseā howeverā¦! Telling you that you need to change is immature & disrespectful & personally I wouldnāt waste another day on his ass if Marriage is that important to you
I got with my bf December 2016 then he proposed Dec 2017 and 5 years together still not married but I see where youāre coming from.
Also we have a daughter together. He has 3 daughters with his ex wife and I have 2 boys from 2 previous relationships. Never been married and Iām 32. So I eventually would like to be married but Iām giving it time.
Blow him off when he wants to be intimate. Fair is fair yup
It never makes sense to me that people have children together but think getting married is a bigger commitment. Surely having kids means more than a marriage certificate?
If you are happy donāt worry about it.
The only reason marrying someone is important is just in case something happens you can collect whatever they have left behind with little to no fight. Why are all these women wanting to get married? It is a waste of money for a big wedding and it really doesnāt mean anything to anyone else. I waited 6 years to get married after a child only because if something does happen I donāt want to try to fight his family. Marriage is not everything and does not make a relationship.
Marriage isnāt just paper. And in no way needs to be a huge expense. If in getting married you are thinking of divorce you are already doomed. Why be wifey without a ring? Thatās like working with out pay. Lots of lazy guys looking for free child care, just saying. Being called baby momma (how degrading) ladies having children with men unmarried so he can just jaunt off into the sunset no thanks. Having a child is much a much bigger commitment than marriage!!! If he canāt or wonāt donāt sell yourself short. And donāt waste your life mind body and spirit on man who wonāt give you his name.
Hey He has everything he has wanted without getting married what did you expect??
Donāt bring it up again and then when he asked you to be his wife, tell him when his attitude changes you will! Let him hold off for a few years!
My now husband asked me over and over to marry him but it didnāt feel like the right time so I refused, after 3 kids and 9 years I asked him, we have 2 more kids now too and have been together 20 years this year! But the change your attitude thing! Thatās rude! Maybe if he just wasnāt ready, but his comment is rude
You put the cart before the horse.
5 years and yall arenāt married? I waited 10 whole days lesson learned big time lmfao
Is marriage a deal breaker for you? Was this discussed before having a kid and becoming serious?
Why buy a book when you can join the library!
Maybe change your attitude . I mean, thatās literally what he sed would make him marry you.
Change the attitude
iāve been with my 14 years and he still dosent want to marry me and we have 4 children together
What does he need to marry you for? Heās got it all without!
Look, I never wanted to get married. I didnāt want kids either. After I had my son, at 22, it was even more sure I didnāt want marriage.
That said, if I wanted to keep my man, I had a choice. So, I agreed to marry him if we didnāt do a big wedding. He asked me a bazillion times if I was sure and 14yrs later, Iām still glad we did it at the courthouse.
That said, if itās what you want and he doesnāt, you have a choice.
1st, Iād have a serious sit down with him. No child at home and yāall have a heart to heart.
If you canāt live without marriage and he isnāt wanting marriage, youāll have to leave.
Donāt talk him into it or even try to. Try to understand why heās against it.
Kick him to the curb, donāt spend another 5 years like so. Itās important to you and marriage actually is a blessing. Even if you have to push for it. Your allowed to want better, go you
Try starting with changing your attitude
Some people are together for 10 or even 20+ years and never get married. I was with my ex for 9 years. Have 2 kids together but never got married. Marriage isnāt for everyone. It doesnāt mean he loves you any less.
My question after my 53 yr marriage is why youāve put up with it for this long ?If he says itās your attitude thatās keeping him from marrying you,ask this,?If itās my attitude why he still with with me period ?Evidently he thinks if u get married a divorce is in the future you know due to āyour attitude ā I would run as fast as I could if he has no more love or respect for you than that if itās important to you it should be to him too! !But do ask him his reason for NOT wanting to get married.As I said above I think itās cause itās easier to leave
!
Wow. This is mental abuse hun. My ex did this too me, and itās disgusting.
When your attitude changes?! Wow. Thatās just wrong. An adult would discuss it in a civilised manner
I have been with my husband for 16 years. We didnāt get married until 12 years (and 3 kids lmao). We talked about it here and there and we felt it wasnāt time yet. Marriage for us is one and done. No divorce. So when the time is right, itās right. I canāt speak for everyone but Iām glad we waited. Oh well if we had 3 kids together before hand. We knew we wanted to be together forever and were tired of people trying to give us a timeline and rules to follow. You do you. We did and couldnāt be happier
What was the conversation like before you had a baby and moved in with him, did he ever express his feelings about his marriage then?
Your feelings for wanting to get married are valid. I was with my husband for 6 years before we got married. After many, many conversations he realised that this is something he could do, to bring me happiness and joy. Your man telling you to āchange your attitudeā is wrong because heās giving you false hope (that this is all up to you) and refusing to have an honest discussion.
Iād say stay if youāre happy, but since Iāve been there before, I know that feeling of resentment builds.
Well do you actually love him or you just want wifey status? If itās wifey status then leave if you love him and heās saying when your attitude changes heās tryna tell you something so Iād personally dig deeper before wanting a ring anyways .
Kick him to the curb trust me! My baby daddy said the same thing! He got me a ring but he never went thru with it. He ended up leaving me over some dumb bs and I never went back even when he tried getting me back. Trust me leave!! Heās getting everything without marriage so itāll never happen!