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"Hello mamas out there, so maybe some advice on the next step. I have a 6 month old (third child with my bf of ten years) a 6 year old and 8 year old. I recently found out in February after my birthday my bf was cheating on me. He has been talking to some girl (he is self employed and has small jobs he picks up) at a job site and they had intimate relationship back last year in the summer. He then kept in contact with her because he wanted to keep seeing her. Idk if maybe she did or not because their conversations cut off at some point in November. And I’m the meantime he is trying to meet up with girls through a date app. He then goes out his way to have a fake phone app to talk them… and even tries to meet up with them ( during my birthday week). Overall… I am upset, heartbroken and so full with emotions, it’s hard to explain… I see this amazing father who I’ve told myself over and over the that maybe I’m doing something wrong. That maybe he will propose soon after ten hard years of ups and downs, or that maybe he doesn’t love me , only to find out this… and he still has the nerve to say he loves me, he’s sorry , he doesn’t know why he did it. He is wrong and he wants to work things out… all in alll I have ant nothing to do with him. I’m so broken at the fact that I see my whole future just disappear. Our family. Our plans. And I hate to be the one to make it difficult on my kids since I have a new born. It’s already hard as it is. Managing work, two preschool kids, and on top a baby… I dk if I’m in the wrong for splitting us up because the kids ask why we don’t do things together or if I should push my feelings aside and coparent while living together for the best of my kids."
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"leave him. and let’s get one thing straight here… you are not splitting you guys up, he split you up when he decided to go off and cheat. living together will not be good for the kids, people think it will but it’s never the right thing to do. the right thing to do for every single person involved is to leave."
"One thing i learned is staying for the kids just makes it worse for them. They will understand why you left in due time and it will be better for them to see you happy then settling for scum"
"Be done!! No more chances. You’re better than this!"
"Hes just going to get sneakier. Plan your exit. Seriously. It wont work"
"You’re setting the example for your children of what is and isn’t right. You deserve better and so do they. I’d say, call for a “break” and see what he does. His actions during your “break” will be proof enough if he’s worth keeping around."
"It’s not your fault. You deserve better than this."
"Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too. I say leave, you are better without him."
"Leave. You don’t want to stay with someone you can’t trust or anything. You’re always going to wonder."
"Good thing you didn’t marry this guy. If he proposes and marries you it won’t change, but it will only get worse. You did nothing wrong and you won’t be wrong for how you decide to go about things. He did this"
"He will still cheat. I would leave him"
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