My boyfriend and me have been together for 7 years. He technically lives across the street from me with his mom but is at my house every night, he really is only at his when I’m at work or to eat. He had a job when we first together but 6 months into the relationship, I had a really bad car wreck. He left his job and took care of my son and me for two years until I was fully recovered. So for the last four years of our relationship, he has not had a job. At this point, I’m done fighting that battle, but the problem I’m having is he constantly grips about MY job! I work in health care, and census drops, so I get called off. I moved from one area, where I never got called off, to a different area that gave me a better schedule, but I get called off. Recently it’s been pretty frequent, but that’s just health care; it happens. He has gripped constantly about it. Saying things like “I told you not to leave the other area,” he never said that BTW. He never once said anything about me leaving the other area until I started getting called off! I get it; for a single mother, it probably wasn’t the best decision, but I wanted time with my kids, and I wasn’t getting that over there. So my old job came available over there. I was offered it but turned it down cause I would never see my kids! I would be working at the weekends. I have them! I said if they still have it in January, I would take it because at that point I could flip my weekends with my ex. So I called to tell him I am maybe working some nights this week and he started going off about how I should have taken my old job back and blah blah blah blah blah! Never mind, I would have to go all of December barely seeing my kids if I did, and the way the schedule is now I have Christmas off, if I were to go back over there I would be working Christmas Eve and Christmas day! It’s a struggle, yes, but actually seeing my kids means a lot to me! I am so mad at this point! Like how can you tell me what to do in my job when you don’t freaking have a job??? And then if I spend my money (the money I earned!!!) to get some tacos or something for dinner one night, he gets upset and says “I shouldn’t spend the money. I should save my money; I can’t afford to eat out! This is why he will never marry me because I splurge when I should be saving.” I’m serious, all that over freaking tacos! It’s my freaking money!!! I just don’t know how to handle it anymore! I have told him just to stop, but he continues! I am just done listening to his bullshit about my job. I’ve almost grown to resent him. Anytime he says anything about my job calling me off, I say, “well, it wouldn’t be too much of an issue if you would get a job.” I thought maybe he would take the hint but nope, still no job on his end! I have had full-blown fights with him over this like yelling, screaming, and crying fights. Still, no job! It is driving me crazy that he feels he can talk about my job when he can’t even get a job!! I just don’t know what to do anymore! Any advice would help here! I have put so much time in our relationship, and I really do love him, but I don’t want to be with someone that won’t get a job and belittles me over my choices!
Ever make a soup and no matter what you do, it still tastes off? Time to dump it.
You need someone in your life who wants to be there 100 percent of the time, wants to participate in actively and support you.
He has the best of both worlds in his eyes.
Just because you put a lot of time and effort in, doesn’t mean it’s worth the while to stay.
Know your worth and leave.
Make him get one or lock his ass out of your house. A man will only get away w what u let him. Put your foot down and say this isn’t up for discussion, it will be done or the relationship needs to be done
My advice is to move on. There is absolutely no reason for him to be unemployed. That’s crazy. Your relationship cannot move forward if it is all one sided. You are going to end up supporting him
Yea I’d drop him quicker than a bad habit.
I’m not even gonna read this … kick rocks dude
Kick him to the curb!!!
Well you need a real man to take
Care of you. Don’t you thank
Girl you need a MAN not some little boy who lives with mommy and doesn’t work.
Move on dead beat going no where.
For someone like himself who doesn’t work, he has no room to criticize or ask questions about your job. There’s a reason he doesn’t work and still lives with Mom.
RUN!
I think you need to find a man NOT A MAN CHILD! Just sayin!!!
He needs to get off mommy’s tit be a man and work. Oh and act like a man. He’s a little punk
You just need a whole new boyfriend
A jobless grown man living with his mother needs to think twice about telling someone else how to live their lives. Ask how much money he has been saving? I bet mom is paying for all the food. You had your kids before you had him and it wasn’t their choice to be here, they definitely need to come first.
You can do better then him. And do not feel like you owe him!
Sooo what is he bring to your table exactly?
Let him move back across the street and have his mama take care of him and you find yourself a real man!!! Stop waisting your time, you deserve much bettter!!!
I would do my best and move on. Change the locks on your home. Being in a rely is taking care of each other. He did that for you and you have been doing that for him. When things don’t change, you talk it out. That hasn’t worked. For you and your kids, make the decision to leave. I know it is easier said than done, but it will be worth it!
Get rid of him. He’s clearly a hypocrite and a user.
I aint reading all that. Let the man child go! He’s just gonna mooch of you
Throw the whole boyfriend to the trash where he belongs!!
Hello, Red Flag Store? I need the biggest one you’ve got.
Leave him or suck it up buttercup
First think I’d do is tell him dont speak on my job till he has one. Second thing is you can’t be my man till he does have a job. Third don’t tell me what I can and can’t do with MY money… For real tho. Dont you think hes using the hell out of you. The sex can’t be that damn good… Seriously.
If he’s raising Cain with you, he hopes you don’t notice what a lazy person he is.
Cut ties and leave him at his mommy’s
You lost me at the title, NEXT
Leave him. He’s not going to change so things will probably always stay like this.
He has no right to say anything about your job as he don’t have one. He needs to grow up and get off his mother’s tit
Whats that old song back in the 90’s…if you wanna be with me you better get a J-O-B!!
Oh Honey,tell him to go home and stay there.And not to come back until he has a job and can help pay the Bill’s. He is using you and transferring his inadequacies into you. You have more than paid him back for his help when you were injured. You are better off on your own or in a relationship with a grownup.
Find someone who is mature and quit trying to raise another child
- Choose a job you love and you will never work a day in your life. If this is the job you love stick to it.
- Unless he is working he really has no say.
- It sounds like he’s trying to blackmail you into quitting your job by fighting with you all the time.
- Even if you are dating he has no say on how you spend your money as long as your bills and food is payed for, it’s your money.
- I would give him a time frame (1-2 Months) to find a job. If he doesn’t get a job by then leave.
- Is he living comfortably on the money you earn. Does he constantly ask to borrow money to spend on himself. Because that’s not a healthy relationship.
- Also a grown man living with he’s mum still. Does he’s mum pay for everything. Does he pay any bills. A grown man should not live off he’s mum.
Simple solution ditch the bum
Tell him he doesn’t get to speak to you about your job because that’s an adult conversation and adults have jobs.
Sounds like you have a man child
Umm, he lives with his mom and has no job = no opinion. Get a man
Got to ask are you that hard up what else could it be you took on another kid and feeding him wish I could meet him for about 10 minutes
Ditch him and move on with your life. Do what you have to do to be able to see your children, work is what keeps you strong.
This post hurt my head, are you seriously with a man that doesn’t have a job? Why? O hell no. He’s a man he shouldn’t be saying nothing to you about nothing. Tell his sorry ass to go get a damn job or leave him
The bigger issue is why are you with him still if he doesnt have a job? Hes probably wanting you to take the other job so you can take care of him more financially. What exactly does he do all day ? Lol
Better drop him like a bad habit
If you have to force a man to get a job that speaks volumes about his character and what kind of life you would have with him.
So bascially you just share custody of this man with your neighbor across the street lol? Giiiirl. Why do you even write in a post like this as if some stranger’s opinion is going to be the correct answer for you. It soundls like you already know what you want to do you, you are just looking for validity so you dont feel guilty
Yes, if you can pay your own rent, send him packing. He is just using you. You have surely paid him back for his help. Make him go home.
Adult who has no job and lives with his mother.
Yep, I’ve heard all I need to. Dump him. Find you a grown up.
Lose the dead weight bum.
Kick his butt and don’t see him or sleep with he hs
Look up signs of abuse. It’s not always physical
I didn’t even read all of this throw him away and get someone who doesn’t criticize the one that is actually working
Dump him and change your locks!
If you can’t trust him to stop with all that fighting an nonsense when you say so, ESPECIALLY regarding what puts food on your table, it’s not gonna work long term. But I would make an attempt at establishing that boundary with clear communication, and also point out this involves your autonomy to make decisions and his ability to respect your choices.
Plus, if this is why y’all won’t ever get married… bye boy.
tell him, get a job yourself then tell me your OPINION, just don’t think I’ll change what I do with my jobs. if he won’t change, leave him, I mean your not married, you don’t have to put up with him and his grippings and complaining. I get you love him, but being unhappy should be a wake up call.
Just focus on you and your children. Move on hes not supporting you or your decisions its time to let go
How old are you? This sounds insane! Sounds like you guys are teenagers?! Of course he needs a damn job!! WTH?! This is crazy! You need to leave him! How does he even have a mm of room to talk!? Wow! He’s not a man! He’s a child send him back to his moms across the street and you go on about your life!
Listen heres the deal. My husband works 70 hours a week while I dont work due to some health issues I have. Before he was working 100 plus hours a week (roofing) to provide for us. Thats what a man does. You have a child. And the excuse that he quit his job to help you well thats just dumb. I get him wanting to help but losing his job wasnt the smart thing to do. Period you need to sit him down and tell him that either he gets a job or hes got to go. I get its hard. My little sister is in the same boat and I wish she would just bite the bullet and drop him. Period.
Unless he gets a job soon, move on. The economy today warrants two salaries to survive unless one of you are bringing home a 6 figure income
Simply tell him to stay at his mom’s house. I’ve been there sometimes you have to let it go.
" This is why he will never marry me" This says it all.
You have a man that hasn’t had a job for 4 years? That’s pretty much all I got from this. All the petty complaining about your job went out the window. Seriously though…you have been in a relationship that is completely financed by only you…for four years? Girl. Fr fr?
Get a job or dont say anything about my job and my money period.
dump him. he’s not a contributing member of your family at this point in time, and is likely to never be. Support YOUR kids, not him, not his moods, not anything else. You don’t need “him”. There’s other fish and some of them even have jobs and good attitudes
Why are you with him is this what you want your son to grow up and treat women bad example for him grow up and be a mom for your son
I was married to a man without a job for 11 of the 12 years we were together. We are now divorced. Run. NOW and DO YOU.
Dump his ass… he obviously doesn’t understand that you’re kids are your first priority
You want someone who will better you, from what I’m reading he isn’t it… sounds like he’s so unhappy in his own situation that he’s taking it out on you. Breaking up with him would be really weird with him living across from you 
I hope you find someone who works just as hard as you do and builds you up rather than break you down! Be strong 
Why are you still even with him? He’s a loser and obviously just using you because he has no life. Have respect for yourself and drop him.
I’m not even reading all that but he sounds like a bum already. Put your kids first the bum last. 
if he dosent wanna work and for no reason you might as well move on honestly I’d do it for the kids
Throw that man away. You gotta do what makes you happy.
You need someone to motivate you you not hold you back
Hun, walk away those kinds men are no good, you are a strong woman you don’t need that in your life
He sounds like a great catch… 
Run as fast as you can and do not look back. Do what you need to do for you and your kids…my ex always griped about my job, especially when he didn’t have one…and that’s why he is now the ex! Making you feel guilty is a form of control and abuse…get out.
He’s a leech. Drop him. You don’t need a man child to care for.
Throw the whole man away. Get you a man that works and will take care of himself and you! That’s ridiculous.
Why are you women with men like this? 
it’s exhausting to hear about
Tell him to get a job and leave him cause 1 your convenient and he lives with mommy and your his second mommy honey. Get rid of him
Run…run…run. Happiness will never come with him
Time to get rid of this bum!!!
You don’t want to be with someone that won’t work and belittles your choices… time to say that to him… shape up these are your bottom lines… he’s gotta work and not be disrespectful … Otherwise he can’t be in your life. Sounds like you already have enough stress with work, kids and an ex…
Leave him you deserve better
Walk away and do not look back
If he hasn’t gotten a job in the last 4 years and pretty much still lives with his mom run! He won’t plan on getting a job he has no responsibility that is not what you and your kids need. That is just how healthcare is going. They cut back for low census Has he gone to college or anything? He won’t have any social security if still available when he hits 65 because he hasn’t put much into it. Just a deadbeat
I think one thing everyone seems to be missing is the fact that he gave up his job FOR YOU! So he could help YOU 
yes it has been a lot longer then expected that he has been out of work but he originally only stopped working to help raise your kid while you were injured…
If it’s really taking a toll tell him! Tell him it’s getting to the point your ready to give up
Tell him you would really appreciate him getting a job before bagging out your only way of income! Tell him if he got a job you wouldn’t have to have such a long work schedule
I know what you need to do. You need to LEAVE his ass! Seriously why would you stay with someone like that? You deserve better than that and he’s a fucking moron and a leech. He’s too lazy to get a job so he lives with his mom and sponges off of you. I be damned if some bum took all my money and told me how I could and couldn’t spend it. Right straight to hell with him. Leave and run far far away…
Why are you wasting your precious time with a loser like this? If you maried him it won’t get any better!
7 years and y’all ain’t married? AND he doesn’t have a job 
girl, you got terrible taste
Get rid of him. You’ll find someone who you won’t begin to resent.
Dump his sorry ass. Change the locks. Get a new number. Block him on social media.
4 years and no job? That’s not a boyfriend, that’s a bum. How is he supporting himself exactly? He lives with his mom so guessing no rent but how is he affording his car, food, insurance, clothes, entertainnent, phone, etc. Let me guess…you? Bc the last thing he should be doing is downing you about your job and finances when he has none of his own.
You have to figure out why you put up with this. You’re grown and supporting yourself and kids so why would you not require a partner who is too
Girl do I have a song for you…
Tell him to get out and not come back unless hes employed and sticks with it
The ladies got it right. Get him gone. It sounds like control issues. He will not be happy until you’re on welfare and he can blame it on you for getting sick. BULL. He has 30 days to find and keep a job, or it’s Goodbye, Joe.
It’s time to let him go sis you need a man already on his feet willing to help you reach higer so he can watch you shine
He,s a loser,u can do better!!!or better off with no one than putting up with his shi$
All I read was the first sentence. Drop him
He sounds like a narcissist and probably feels you owe it to him to take care of him since he took care of you and your son. Clearly he isn’t going to get a job and has no desire to even try. Tell him to get a job or lock your doors when he goes home to mommy and don’t let him back in.
Omygosh! U should of dumped him a loooooong time ago!!!
Even if he gets a job he will quit like 2 weeks later…back to sq 1! Smh
U r raising him like a child. He is narcissistic.
He is truly a moocher bum.
He has no interest in marrying u.
U love him for what he was not what he is now. Live in the present.
Stop having hope in him
Dont marry him
Dont date him…u will ruin ur life by getting do mad one day with resent and probably beat him to force him to get a job…ruining ur character and life
Hes not worth the fight
A man suppose to provide
Ur not supposed to beg him or ask him to get a job…a real man would have a job…a career…u could be with a dr. A engineer who will help u love u cherish u.
He ain’t the one
Hes not the soul mate
False promises for 7 yrs!
And it’s very weird he still living with his mom
And very odd 7 yrs and u guys r still not in our own home togerh5…and I wouldnt move in together anyway at this point.
Hes not ur caregiver
He wasting ur time…dump him before u get a heart attack with all the freakin stress he gives!!
Show ur kids a real relationship with a realman…not a boy
Hes scolding u cuz u have a work schedule that works for ur family!?!?! What an embacle !!
Ur kids need u they need those holidays with u🦃 they come 1st and dont feel sorry for him…hes not feeling for u
Dont cave!
Here’s some advice if you keep living like that after a while you fucking deserve it stop punishing yourself for a loser your children are more important get your shit together be good to yourself be good to your kids you don’t need that crap in your life