You’ve made your decision. Loves come and go. Leave the future where it is for now and focus on the baby due. If in a while he doesn’t change his mind, be prepared to split up but do so on good terms for the sake of your child. It’s a difference of opinion and no one has done anything wrong
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Put the shoe on the other foot…
Would you want to be pressured into havening more kids you don’t want?
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It’s his choice. He now has four kids and is probably thinking about being able to care for those kids. That’s a lot of responsibility. So if you want more than he isn’t the one for you
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Run and find someone who would love you
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Why should your ideas trumped his ? It’s ok to change your mind, he has as much right to say no as you do to say yes
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You sound petty af I’ll be honest with you. His feelings are just as valid as yours. Minds change, especially if you’re possibly having a harder pregnancy and he’s realizing he does not want to do it again. He could also change his mind. 
You cannot force him to want to do what you want for 1, and for 2, if this role was reversed you’d be PISSED that he would even be upset it.
If you can not deal with the fact that he doesn’t want any more, then you have some growing up to do to figure out what you want to do.
At least he told you now, rather then not telling you at all n
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You don’t have to have kids back to back, you haven’t even had this one and your planning your next 10 your man sounds backed into a corner and is likely overwhelmed with the current amount, also are you working or planning on doing so because the life you want is going to be expensive and if he’s expected to be the lone provider for the kids and you he should also get a say in how many kids and how close together he wants them.
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He is being honest with you. Telling you that you can have more kids, but with someone else, shows that he understands how you feel. But people have the right to grow and change, he is not doing anything wrong with his decision. He is making a change to his body, not asking you to do that. Kids are wonderful to have, but for some people, it can he very hard mentally. The decision he is making is best for him and his family. You should appreciate that he told you everything as is, giving you the chance to decide how you want to continue, rather than wasting your time with empty promises. Maturity means understanding people and respecting their choices even when you don’t agree with them.
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Why are people acting like this is normal behavior it sounds like hes being spiteful and manipulative… though 4 kids is a decent sized family already the way hes going about making you CHOOSE between him and more kids right after an argument doesn’t sit well with me … call him on his bluff and say you pick having more kids 
fuck him lol
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He’s being honest about his feelings, which are just as valid as yours…personally I’d ask him to hold off any big decisions for a couple of years to make sure he’s dead set in his mind, by then you may feel the same or be more accepting of his decision?
He has four so it’s understandable.??
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But he already has a big family. He has 2 of his own and now your 2. Do you not consider his kids family?
Together my fiance and I have 5. That is more than enough for both. I only have 2 of my own so when I talked about having a baby, I really had to think it through.
If you can’t handle being happy with a family of 6, then you need to consider your options.
You can’t force someone to have more kids, that’s just wrong. If that’s what you truly want then leave him.
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Yes also has the right to not want anymore kids. He will have 3 kids by the time you have the baby. He’s letting you know how he feels. Now you need to think if these 4 are enough or not and please don’t trap him to have more. If you can’t accept this is it for him then you need to leave
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4 kids is a massive family already. You’re not the only person who has a right to want what they do. He is allowed to say he does not want more kids. Maybe he is looking at the incomes yall have and figuring out having more kids would be a burden on the family. Instead of trying to force the issue wait for a while and then maybe ask again and discuss it. But don’t forget, he is just as much allowed to decided how many kids he wants as you are.
You think it’s unfair to be “forced into that decision”, but he should be forced to father more children because that’s what you want? I feel sorry for him and your kids.
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I have four children, it is a lot and he’s probably not wanting more children then he can provide for. If y’all split, could he afford the child support for four children? That thought likely overwhelms him. On the other hand, he knew you wanted multiple children before y’all even got together. You were honest about your desires. While it sucks that he changed his mind, it’s okay for him to do so. You are young and you will find someone else who does want the same things out of life as you do. After all, you only get one go at this life. I would say you should focus on the child you’re currently carrying and leave the relationship. Because you guys don’t want the same thing and that’s going to end up with one of you feeling forced into something that you don’t want.
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There are many things to consider. He has 4 kids. You may only have 2 bio kids but you also have 2 kids that now you are a parent figure to. If you don’t consider his other 2 as part of your “big” family then why are you with him? Is he the only one working or will be the only one working to support 6 people because paying daycare or a sitter will take your whole check plus some? The idea of having babies is great, but they grow and they get don’t get cheaper as they grow. Will you bitch when he’s out busting his ass to put food on the table and barely has any time at home? Or you go to work and let him stay at home. Now you have to provide for 6 people. It’s stressful. You’re stuck in the right now, he may be looking at the future. Can you save for college, help with the first car or be able to share a car, insurance for a first time driver where I live is a rent payment. And no I’m not even exaggerating. So times that by 4 on top of what you already pay if not adding a car too. They’ll be into different things, different stages can you afford dance, baseball, etc and split yourself to make sure they all get where they need to go? You’ll need a bigger car which will be a bigger gas bill, bigger house which will be a bigger mortgage, more food which is a bigger bill, health insurance, and so on. Or will you be happy with barely getting by and giving bare minimum. Because that is just the kids stuff. Now add your needs and his needs. What we want and what we need are 2 different things. Remember life changes, not always guaranteed that job. May have to leave that one and go to another.
Wait now. If the shoe was on the other foot would you be okay with being pressured into having more kids that you didnt want? Hes made his feelings clear. And so have you so maybe the 2 of you need to sit and have the talk about the future.
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Lol he spoke to you gave you a choice women are quick do do this to men and be like well this is what I want you choose. Well he told you want he wants now you have to choose. He could of just went and got snipped without telling you. This is petty but the reality for most guys being made out to be the bad guy cause they dont agree with women or a women’s wishes.
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He’s 28 and has 4 he’s done. Just accept it. Would it be any different if he wanted more kids and you didn’t?
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He has 4 kids at 28 ! That’s a lot!
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his body his decision and now he has four that’s a lot. If you’re with him be a momma to his other two now you also have 4kids. Thats a big family.
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Doesn’t he deserve the same consideration that you want?? He has 4 kids, he doesn’t want any more, I get it!
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So…you answered your own question as to what to do! No mystery right?
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Just wait until you have this baby before fighting over having more kids. Sometimes after having a child you decide to close factory because parenting is tough. I would leave this conversation for later, it’s not worth it to argue about this right now, to be honest.
Sad but at least he’s telling you BEFORE hand.
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If he doesn’t want more kids then you should accept that. And if you can’t accept that then you need to move on
you will have 4 kids after this one is born–that is a big family! If you don’t accept his kids as your own then that is just sad.
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So your blended family will be 6 counting adults and children to me that is a big family. Also think about if financially for him he is already paying support for 2, when you break up that will be twice the child support as is. If you had 4 kids with him then that would tipple his child support. I think you are being selfish in not considering his feelings and not considering his children as part of your family. Frankly if I wetter him I would go get the snip snip done now while you are pregnant.
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My husband told me the same thing after we had our first daughter. Since we both had sons and then had our daughter the didn’t want anymore. Well found out after our daughters 1st birthday I was pregnant again and had our second daughter. Then I made the choice I didn’t want anymore because of how difficult both pregnancy’s was. He can always change his mind. If he does decided to get snipped then you’ll just have to make the choice of what will make you happier. Staying with him and just having yalls 4 kids. Or moving on and possibly having more. I wouldn’t make any decisions till then. Cuz he may change his mind. Btw I’m 23 and my husbands 26.
He’s allowed to not want more.
Now, could it be bc of the fight, yes. But that’s not something you generally say unless it’s been on your mind.
Instead of changing his mind, you need to step back, look at your life & what you want.
Why is 4 not enough? What number is good for you?
You may want more kids but are you prepared to work 2 jobs? Are you prepared to raise the ones you have alone? Have you considered he’s worried that if y’all break up he’s on the hook for a massive amount of child support?? (Men do think about those things.)
If your thought process was to have a big family & be a SAHM, that’s cool but still expensive & a huge responsibility for him also. Can he make enough? Will he be a good & attentive Dad with more children?
Your best bet is to have a sit down & get out of your hormones. Ask him what he’s thinking. Ask him what he sees in the future. Ask him what his fears are bc yes, men get scared too. Then, talk to him & compromise.
Honey, you’re currently preggers & he’s stressed. Now isn’t the best time for this chat but if you want to tackle it, put yourself in his shoes bc this isn’t just about you.
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we had the same thing-- my hus had 2 kids by prev marriage. i had none. he was going to get “snipped” at that time, it meant surgery for me and a few days off work, etc etc-- i ended up preg just a couple months after we got marrie before he was able to get an appointment scheduled. well it ended up we had 2 more children after the birth of our first dau. husband said he didn’t want more kids, i wanted one more. after talking it was me who had my tubes tied after birth of our final baby–a boy. a mistake i regretted for the longest time. i wanted one more child, he didn’t. i held this against him for the longest time because i felt robbed. if he is not wanting more children, then it should be him to opt for the procedure, not you. not saying you will do it so you can have more children with someone else. i agree with another post-- see if he will delay getting this done just in case he does agree with you. of course, he may not change his mind too. whatever decision you make, guard your heart that you do not allow bitterness, resentment to seep in.
How many kids can you support on your own? Are you working? If you and all 4 kids are dependent on him that’s a lot of pressure on him in a world where you can lose your job in an instant or have a job sent overseas or done by a machine. Do you live in an area with lots of job opportunities?
Sit down and do a long-term budget with him. Do you want your kids to go to.college? What if one or more needs a Masters, doctorate, law school or med school for their chosen career? How many X-boxes will you need? Price out various instruments if any want to participate in band or orchestra.
How much to participate in sports/hobbies/other activities (team fees, uniforms, snack parent duties, coach gifts, fundraisers)? Not to mention how big a vehicle will you need from now on? How many car/booster seats? How will you get all 4 kids to 4 different soccer practices? Can you afford laptops for all of them? If he died tomorrow, how would you support them all?
What if your latest baby turns out to be a special needs kid? How much will it cost to feed four teenagers? Having children is not all cuddly babies and sunshine and rainbows.
That said, maybe meeting together with a counselor (and learning how to have productive discussions vs. arguments) will help each of you see things from the other’s perspective and reach a mutually agreeable decision. This is especially true while you have pregnancy hormones racing around. Maybe raise your existing children for a while, see how it goes, and revisit the topic again in five years. You have two decades of childbearing years ahead of you, so there’s plenty of time.
Good luck, and keep loving those kids. 
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I wouldn’t consider 4 kids a small family. But if you have your heart set on having more than 2 biological kids you’ll just have to figure out what’s more important to you. You can’t force him to have more or he’s likely going to resent you 
No you shouldn’t have to throw away what you want, but he shouldn’t have to throw away what he wants either. He is supporting and responsible for 4 children. That is a big family in today’s society. He’s 28 now well in 10 years he will be 38. With his youngest being 10. Maybe he’s looking at enjoying his life at 50 with grown kids… he’s not asking you to get your tubes tide. He’s getting done. If you decide that you want more you will have the option of moving on and finding someone to have more. That’s your choice.
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This is something both of you would need to sit down and discuss. Not just throw around at random when angry and arguing. Both of you pull your big kid undies up and be mature about it. This isn’t something that just gets tossed around like deciding what’s for dinner.
Having kids is a huge decision that comes with more than just words. If he truly is done, then that’s that and you need to respect that. Are you with him just to have kids? Is he just a bag of sperm to you?
When you’re in a solid relationship, his kids are yours too, meaning 4 kids right now. How many are you wanting in the end? Can both of you properly care for more than 4?
This really is a conversation meant to be held in the beginning of a relationship. When two people want different things, it may not have been wise to get together. Now all you can do is compromise, get over it, or leave.
He has 4 kids… I don’t blame him for wanting to be done. That is a big family. I mean do you not consider his other 2 as part of y’alls family? If you don’t like his decision then leave him… you can’t force someone to have more kids. And I bet he is the one doing all the work to pay for everything too…
Okay yes you’re right you don’t need to throw your life away, however you’re saying you should t have to change your wants for him. But then u have to respect that he doesn’t want kids. It’s not your way or the highway. He is entitled to his own choices for his own body as well. If you want more n he doesn’t I’m sorry but one of you will either have to compromise or if it’s that major that u have many kids then you need a new partner. You cannot force him to be a father. And if you force him to have children he doesn’t want then that’s bad for the child. Because he won’t want anything to do with them.
It sounds like your goals are just not compatible. He shouldn’t be expected to have more children nd you should not be expected to not have more. It is YOUR choice what to do with your body but not what he does with his. If having a large family is important to you then take a step back and decide what you want your future to look like.
If you consume yourself with this then you will be miserable. It is inevitable. Your pregnant now. Have the baby, be a family and stop worrying about years from now if there will be more. You both need to accept each others children as your own and if you did thwn there would be no discussion about having a big family because you already have one.
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People change. It is a part of life. Being in a respectful relationship or marriage requires both of you to see each others goals and dreams and moving forward together as a team. Unfortunately at times sacrifices have to be made. When my husband and I first got together he had a HORRIFIC experience with his first marriage and already had 4 kids. He told me since the very beginning he would never marry again or have anymore children. At the time, I was perfectly happy with it. As time past, I wasnt. We are now happily married AND even trying to get pregnant.
I feel you should both just focus on the baby and how your life is about to change before you start freaking out over stuff that hasn’t happened yet.
People change. There expectations change. People grow together … or apart. Think wisely.
He’s entitled to not want more children. Just like you’re entitled to want more. People can change their minds with what they want in life, and to be honest at least he’s putting his cards on the table. Would you really want to throw away you’re entire relationship, over this? My advice, would be to have another conversation with him, explain how you feel at the moment. Explain it’s important to you, and at least put off having the procedure for now. You don’t know how you’re going to feel after having this baby, you might end up agreeing that it’s enough children. Open up this conversation when you feel ready to have another baby, not before xxx
Don’t worry he will leave, and you will make more beautiful children with someone that has the same mindset as you
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Do what makes u happy because in the end who knows if he will even b there but ur kids will always b
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