My Boyfriend Demands I Do All the Cleaning After Work

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"I’m a 50 year old woman , I work in healthcare , I work with mentally challenged people I work 230pm-12am 5 days a week sometimes I also work on a Saturday from 2-10pm … I work 40 minutes from my house so I drive that back and forth daily… I leave my house at 130pm and I don’t get back home until around 1 am … I live with my bf of 2 years , it’s his house and he makes sure I know that . He’s on disability makes around 850 a month , so he’s home every day , he does not clean up after himself or clean the house and he throws the mail down and trash on the floor around his recliner, we’ve had a issue with mice in the house , they pretty much took the kitchen over they been in the cabinets and counter tops and there’s droppings in such , I’ve asked the bf to clean all that up but has not so there fore I do not eat there I don’t dirty any dishes up and I also clean up after myself … the bf expects me to clean sweep cook dust the house and help with the outside work , I’m only off 1 or 2 days aweek , I’m tired I don’t feel like doing anything but he demands that I do all this even when I work and he does absolutely nothing but sleep all day and sit in his chair … I also give him 400 a month to live there and buy my own groceries, he receives food stamps as well but I buy my own stuff … when we go out to eat or do anything I pay for it all , he never does , says he doesn’t have money but I give him 400 a month and he doesn’t have a house payment just utilities, I feel like he’s in the wrong to demand that I do all this to the house and on the outside , am I wrong?"

RELATED: Husband Asks If He’s In the Wrong for Refusing to Clean Because He’s a Lawyer


The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"Leave. Sounds like he’s using you."

"Move out? Boyfriends a bum!"

"Run he is not a bf he is a moocher"

"if you dont cook or eat there why are you buying groceries"

"Leave. Now. You’re being used."

"Why are you with someone like that? You would do better on your own. People like that don’t change, period. Leave and don’t turn back ."

"Tell him you aren’t his home health aide, give him the numbers to call, and get your own place. I’m pretty sure you can survive just fine on your own. He needs YOU, not the other way around. Basically you’re just there to supplement his income and clean up after him. You already have a job cleaning up after folks."

"You work 5-6 days a week and give him $400 a month? Meanwhile he does nothing?! That’s not a man that’s a boy who is using you. You deserve SO much better. Doesn’t matter if it’s his house or not he’s supposed to be putting in the exact same amount of effort you are. He’s literally using you for everything… To pay for dinners, to have spending money, to clean up after him. You even buy your own food and still give him money?!"

"Ummm, leave his ass!! For real, why are you staying? Read what you wrote. What would you tell someone else that wrote this?"

"He sounds like a loser"

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First time I’ve heard of a housekeeper PAYING to be allowed to do the job. Get your rear out of there but first, hand him the bill for your work. You were his cook, housekeeper, cleaning service, handywoman, gardener, laundry service, chauffeur and probably his sex provider. That’s one heck of a check he owes you. Better yet, demand it in cash! Won’t pay? Sue him!

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You say he is disabled. Is he able to participate in cleaning or confined to the recliner. If he is able to participate and just refuses, you need to leave for your own mental health.

Yout50 years old and you need strangers to tell you to leave this situation? Are you kidding?
If you can’t figure that out for yourself you’ve got bigger problems that the POS you call a boyfriend.