My boyfriend got a text from a girl at 3 in the morning: Advice?

So my boyfriend and I are expecting our second baby well last night he went to a friends place and before he went he came home showered and fell asleep on the couch he asked if he could go before hand he always asks and I know these friends but they still have so many people there anyways he left at 7 and says he was home by 3:30 am well he came in and slept on the couch instead of coming to bed I thought his phone was dead so I plugged it in and it was charged still but on the main screen it showed a text from a girl so I looked well the top half is deleted but it was her asking if something was somewhere but it didn’t say what he replied well I asked him and was like why is this person messaging you and what’s she looking for half the convo was deleted but he said she was looking for her jacket so I was like did u drive her home he’s like no I slept on buddies couch and she stayed there I feel I’m going crazy because if it was innocent why is half it deleted I feel he’s hiding something but I have no proof and these friends wouldn’t tell me if something happen he said he got home at 3:30 this message from her came in at 3:37 am I over reacting I didn’t even know he talked to this girl or was friends with her enough to text

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Yeah, he’s not being honest with you. I’ve felt this while pregnant I’m sorry.
Since you are pregnant I highly advise kicking him out of leaving.

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No baby ur not over reacting. No woman should text ur man. N no woman should text ur man at 330. If u don’t see the red signs now. Then u are just going yourself

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I don’t even know where to begin with the red flags. Man out and not coming home to you and your family til after 3am is a huge red flag. And I know most persons will disagree, but you try one time … going out til 3am and having some man text you at nearly 4, and you will have your answer.

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If half of the convo was deleted that’s weird and shady. If she just was at the party and asked for his number to ask him about this jacket I can understand. Regardless you should not even have to put up with this if you are old enough to be having children. I wouldn’t hang him yet but I would definitely be wanting to know where the conversation went and why he felt the need it needed to be deleted.

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If the messages are deleted it’s most likely something he don’t want you to see. I would text the girl n ask her what’s up with her n the boyfriend

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If you have to ask this, I think you already know. Im really sorry. Being betrayed during pregnancy is something no woman should go through.

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If you can take the number out of his phone and talk to her yourself. She might not even know you exist… talk to her yourself.

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Post after post on this page today of women asking pretty much the same thing. I think men are getting away this bs because of plain stupid women allowing it! Half the conversation is deleted and a girl is texting him at 3am in the morning and your still asking yourself am I over reacting!? Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what’s going on.

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Red flags all over the place. Please leave before is too late

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I’d be upset too. Some girl messaged my SO and I asked him to see but they were deleted. So I asked him it was nothing why delete them?? Well the next time she messaged him he left them for me to read. Maybe just let him know that you need to know that you can trust him. I’m also pregnant and had the same feelings. Everything is out of wack right now so I know how you’re feeling. I’ve been super insecure lately. :sob:

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I found out my xhusband was cheating while I was pregnant with my second. Sorry. IMO something is going on. Trust your gut.

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I’d say it’s innocent, if not for the deleted texts. Someone doesn’t delete innocence and how would he know where whatever she’s looking for would be at? Not to mention how’d she get his number?

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Not over reacting at all been through all this he lying to u

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You already know the answer. I’m sorry :disappointed:

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Deleted messages aren’t good at all.

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Text her back and ask her why she’s talking to your boyfriend

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How did she have his number?

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U should have text the girl back and asked her yourself. Right from his phone

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Im sorry you’re going through this…red flag fs, please don’t ignore them!

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Been there he is cheating if he deleted his responses he is trying to hide it from you

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Did you take down her number and call her … he obviously isn’t going to tell you what’s going on.

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Wait how she get his number first off ??

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How did she get his number and he is hanging out with other females til 3am? That’s a no from me!

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You already know deep down what’s going on.

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No grown @ss man who is about to be a dad for the 2nd time need to be at a party like that. Hell to the NO. Throw that man child right out the door. Boy bye. WOMEN STOP LETTING THESE MEN TREAT YOU LIKE THIS!!!

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I hate liars…yr right if he had nothing to hide and was doing nothing wrong why delete the messages…huge red :triangular_flag_on_post: flag.

Don’t ignore. Red flags, trust your instincts.

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You already know Honey

Lots of red flags. I’m sorry

Its a red flag but i don’t think enough to say he is cheating. Maybe he deleted it because it really was nothing and he didnt care to have her message on his phone, who knows. Ask him how she got his number and go from there.

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Kick his lying butt out the door.

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I would’ve called her.

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Call her and ask her

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He deleted the conversation. He’s guilty. Full stop.

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I don’t agree with some of these comments. But me and my fiancé have 4 kids and he goes out and I’m okay with it. But I always know where he is and who’s there. He calls and messages me almost the whole time he’s out. But he’s never had some chicks number in his phone. That’s a BIG no. I wouldn’t be okay with it. And I’ve dealt with things like this in my past relationships. It never ends well.

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No matter what you have to decide if you are worth having to look over your shoulder or out the door for answers from from someone who may not tell you the truth. Honor yourself first!

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He deleted part of the convo defiantly guilty!

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If there is another woman texting his phone at 3:30 am in the morning and he deleted half the texts then he is hiding more than the texts from you.

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Call her!! & leave that trash!

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U do have proof! He erased the thread, not saying he has cheated. However some bad intentions are going on

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Trust yourself love. Sounds like he’s playing you.

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He put himself on the couch…can’t sleep comfortably with a guilty conscience. It’s everything you think it is.

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Why are you having more babies with a child who is passing out drunk at his buddies house with other girls there? Ew.

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Why did she have his number and I’d call her and ask her… her number is in his phone… I would do it front of your boyfriend!

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Why didnt she ask the guys whose house she stayed at where her coat was?

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You don’t erase something that is innocent.

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If you have to question it or have any doubts about it, the answer should always be cut your ties & move on In my opinion

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If he had to delete the convo, he’s hiding something. He’s definitely cheating :pensive:

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Text her from his phone and tell her come over that your not home. See what she says. :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Hun he came home and the first thing he did is take a shower! He cheated on you.

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If he’s deleting the texts than he knows he’s doing wrong

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Trust your gut always. The entire situation stinks and you can have 590 babies with someone and it won’t change who they are so have a heart to heart if you want to and discuss what’s going on but you know him best and only you can decide how many chances you give him.

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Make him call her to discuss so called lost jacket and put it on speaker. :sweat_smile:

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Yeah that sounds real suspicious. Especially if half the messages were deleted

How did she have his number to text him?

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Don’t jump to conclusion. Maybe he’s planning a surprise for you and maybe she owns a business so he deleted those messages so in case you snoop you wouldn’t be able to find out .

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Call her and ask? If nothings going on between them, then he should be fine with you getting piece of mind by calling her to clarify the situation. If he doesn’t want you calling her then you’ve got your answer as to why he got a text at such an inappropriate time of the early morning from her and why his deleted texts between them :woman_shrugging:

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Something is up girl because why would she have his # & why would the messages be deleted ?

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My ex was the SAME way but worse part is he never had a cell phone… It was my cell he was giving chicks my number! I never got to even look at my old cell phone. Hell he even sold it on me… Glad that idiot is out of my life for good!

Sit down at your kitchen table with your man and call her. You’re about to have 2 babies with this guy. It is 100% in your own lane to call and confront her about the message, but be prepared for what she may say. It may not want to be what you want to hear or it may be something completely different, personally my husband goes out with friends but damn sure isnt walking in my house at 330am. If hes cheating then it is up to you and only you to decide to stay or go. If you stay is this really the life you want to live. If you go, are you prepared and financially able to care for 2 children on your own? It’s a life altering decision, sit down and think every little aspect through before making a decision. Best of luck to you!

How did this chick get his number why was half of the message gone and why was she messaging him at this time and why was he sleeping on the couch and not the bed you share all red flags to me

If he’s deleting the texts then that’s a huge red flag! Go with your gut! If you trust your man then believe him…I’d go with your gut

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Text her acting as him and see how the convo goes…

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My question is why is a man in a relationship going out without his girl in the first place? If they have children together then he needs to be keeping his butt at home being the man and father of the house. IMO :woman_shrugging:

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If you even have to ask for advice you already know :woman_facepalming:t3: let’s be smart!

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Follow your gut it’s never wrong

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:woman_facepalming:t2::woman_facepalming:t2::woman_facepalming:t2: something is up! :disappointed: I’d also say to call her.

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Always trust your gut feeling really

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Pregnant or not I would’ve been kicking his ass up and down that house :tipping_hand_woman:t4:

I’d be calling her number from his phone… You would know pretty bloody quick, if messages are deleted and you have no idea who the girl is you know it’s suspicious as hell.

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You are not overreacting. He has a child and should be with you at night . If he wants to go to a party , you go with him ! It’s time he be a man and a father .

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Pregnancy hormones are a bitch. And paranoia can run high during this time. If hes never given you a reason to not trust him then give him the benefit of the doubt for now.

If you have to call then there is not trust what is the point of the relationship then…if he says it was nothing roll with it…if it happens more then once then start looking…

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No husband should be out at 3am but you said boyfriend. 99% sure he’s probably cheating in my opinion!!! Your pregnant with his 2nd child? You need to lay down some laws or this will be your relationship, you’ll be home caring for kids & he’ll be out living his best life with random females all night

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First of all why is he coming home at 3:30 in the morning while you are at home by yourself pregnant. I get he can go out but he was gone for 8hrs what could he possibly be doing at a friends house for 8hrs. I agree with every one that says for you to call her

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That was the longest run on sentence I’ve ever seen! Geez

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Sounds like he cheated on you!!

Those are not friends you want around your family and he should be going out and staying out till 3:30am i don’t see any good coming from that at some point it’s going to fuck shit up. I get going out and having fun but it should be with people you all as a family trust other wise you inviting trash. I make it clear to my friends and his you’re either here to be true friends anyone against us in anyway is a danger to our family circle. Watch who you let around your family.

Just call her and ask her

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I’d be well annoyed tbh

Oh honey… you have every right to trip. Trust your gut

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This post gave ME anxiety and it isn’t even me.

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I see red flags everywhere

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She’s texting about her jacket to start a conversation with him :roll_eyes: it’s her making a move to start texting. It’s obvious that she’s trying to make a connection. Be careful.

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Nope. Take it from a seasoned woman…he is guilty.

Why does she have his number in the first place

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Honestly…If you have to question it… Then you already know☹️

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Honestly… you shouldn’t have to call her or even question him. Even just the fact that your doubting what he said and have the thought in your mind says it all. Walk away now before it gets worse or stay and just suck it up and deal with it. I’m not trying to be mean I promise but I’ve been there and those are the only two ways to deal with the situation. Calling her will only stress you and the baby out. Let it go either way, no need for the drama. Stay or go.

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Text the girl and ask her? Bet she won’t cover for his ass

Guilty. You know this already. But you want hope that it’s not true. We all hate him for you.

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Even if I left a jacket somewhere I wouldn’t be texting at 3 am to get/ find it. You already have your answer in my opinion…I hope I’m wrong and I hope you find peace and comfort with this soon

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Your gut is telling you everything you need to know. Trust what it’s telling you above all else, it’s always right.

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Always trust your gut. Nothing about the situation would be okay with me especially with baby #2 on the way. That’s not where he should have been at that hour especially.

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why didn’t he take you?

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Trust your gut that’s your Godly intuition

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Been there. In that exact place. Same situation. Walk away. Don’t torture yourself.

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Guilty? Tell him that you’re going own the Steve wilko show and he’s gonna take a lie detector test, I bet his ass will tell you the truth then. Bluff his ass.

This kind of thing drives me insane. Biggest problem i have with my SO talking to other women is the secrecy and not being upfront about it. Awhile back my bf was texting someone bright and early 6am to say good morning but it was always after I would leave for work. Said there was nothing behind it, said she was a friend. Messaging both of us back to back, would leave me on read to talk to her. It honestly irritated me innocent or not. You don’t put your significant other on the back burner for other people. Another time he had an unidentified number in his phone talking to them when he was at work and not at home. Always leaving his phone on vibrate when he was home. I called the number that was unidentified and it was another women… I’ve had someone message me saying he was hitting on them, I ask about it. Says I was not yada yada yada… find out he was messaging someone just to have him lie to my face and tell me he wasn’t when the proof was in my hand. I have alot of trust issues now that I’m trying to work through. I just wish I could forget things sometimes. I try not to over react. My anxiety gets the best of me most times. I would not be ok with someone messaging him in the middle of the night, I’m not really ok with it at all anymore honestly. You should ask him if it would be OK for you to be doing the same thing or getting messaged in the middle of the night. I would assume probably not. Call her talk to her. See whats up. Sometimes you have to go straight to the source like I have. I’m sorry your going through this and I hope things change for you. Best of luck.

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