My boyfriend is best friends with his ex and it makes me uncomfortable: Advice?

Time to leave. Sounds like they are still acting like a family

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If he was friends with her and you knew the situation before you got with him then he is not in the wrong you are and you need to walk away!!!

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Oh nah. U need to step to her. And let her know

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Nah. She should never take your place in activities like that.

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As long as he is inviting you and including you there really isn’t any thing wrong with the situation

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I have mixed feelings. It’s always a red flag if your boyfriend hates all of his ex’s… but the whole family thing :grimacing: idk about that. Try and swoop in and make her your best friend and him the 3rd wheel? Idk

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It’s the fact that she told him that she was uncomfortable with the situation and he dismissed her feelings. Big red flag.

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My ex cheated on me then dumped me and my daughter as soon as his “friend” that he “loves like a sister” moved back to the same town we lived in. :thought_balloon:🤷

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If shes his best friend then he can keep her to himself and my advice move on.

if you dont like it leave…he dont care we dont care you dont care whats the question again

Run…he is only with her cause he still loves her! No kids, so should not be so much attachment.

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If they were friends when you started dating either accept it or move on. You can’t start dating someone then decide you’re uncomfortable with who they are around.

I am best friends with my ex and he got a new girlfriend. She seems to be cool with it but she hasn’t really discussed it.
I can say in our situation she has nothing to worry about. Him and I both decided we are much better as friends. We have a connection but it’s not romantic at all anymore. But we had not been a couple for a few years before he met her.
I love him dearly as a friend and I only want him to be happy. I would hate it but if it caused problems with her, I would walk away from our friendship for his happiness. I would hate to lose him as a friend but want him to be happy.
I guess I would suggest interacting with her and both of them together. I think if you have something to worry about it will show in they way they interact.
Good luck, hope it works out for all of you. Good friends are hard to find.

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When my boyfriend of 6yrs and i broke up we always maintained a soild friendship… Sometimes ppl just cant be replaced.

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Run for your life. He has a life with his ex and her family. It will never change. You will always be the outsider and feel terrible about it. You need someone that adores you and makes you their center. Please don’t waste your life made to feel inferior to the ex…

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Uhm dismiss them both, and find a real man.

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Did you know about the friendship before you decided to be with him?

Leave!
He obviously doesn’t care about your feelings! Find a real man who knows your Worth!

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Everyday? Seems a bit much … to me anyway I would not be down for that . No way !! And if in invited … I’d go! Let her know who’s man it is the whole time your their start making her feel uncomfortable… and make her feel like the third wheel like it should be !!

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Girl, you need to act like the leading lady in your life. My husband and I are best friends and we know this about each other. When the girlfriend feels like a third wheel, it’s time to go. Your SO should always make you feel like you’re the only one IF he/she actually cherishes you AND vice versa.

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As long as you’re continuing to tolerate this…he’s going to continue to do whatever it is he’s doing. Why? Because you’re tolerating it. If you are uncomfortable and you don’t like their BFF situationship, and you’ve told him, and he’s continuing, despite your feelings…then leave him and leave him quick. There are more fish in the sea. You should be happy in a relationship, not uncomfortable. When I tell my man I have a problem with something…he changes his behavior because he knows i will open the front door for him. Set standards and believe you are worth it!!:yellow_heart:

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Your partner should also be your best friend (one of at least) if he isn’t leaving room for you to be his best friend too there’s more going on even if just with feelings that aren’t being acted upon yet.

Ive sorta been in this situation. I knew they were friends after we started earling dating. But he kinda downplayed it a little. I definitely think my exs ex had moved on but i dont think my ex had fully. He memorised her phone number, txt her things about our relationship which he shouldnt have and wanted to hang a photo of her and him in our bedroom. If they are geniuely friends, be careful. If not, then leave!

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If you knew about their relationship when you got with him and still decided to be with him, you have no room to complain now. If you weren’t aware of it before, sit down and have a conversation with him. Let him know how you feel. Then go from there.

It not over, yes your the third wheel. They can’t get over it, you need to let go. A person should respect themselves before they respect others. O bu’ee. Totally gross. Just saying :hot_face:

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If he loved u he wouldn’t be friends w his ex that’s wrong af …

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Yes , he has no respect for you , and you are not respecting yourself. No respect , no love. Bye, :wave:

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Imagine if the roles were reversed, people would be saying " your just sorting to much, of she’s with you then she loves you not him." Or something to that caliber. If it’s uncomfortable, then just claim dominance over him, go with them an cling to him so she gets the message

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I’m best friends with my ex. We were friends before we were in a relationship. We are even better friends now. I have not and will not ever cross the line with him while he’s in a relationship or vice versa. We have both lost relationships due to the person’s feelings about our remaining friendship but in the end we dont care because we were up front with them before hand & they knew what they were getting into.

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Do they have kids together?

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Yep well hes with you not her and if they still remain friends so be it but not full on every day craaaaaaap , put yr foot down with some grou d rules .

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Sisi give him an ultimatum, either he stops seeing her, or you leave him, why do I say this, that door should have been closed a long time ago, he’s inviting emotional attachment that will block your growth and progress in your relationship, you will never move forward as long as they still attached, and you can not spend forever waiting in the same place, you only live once. Mlahle for your own sanity

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My ex and me were friends after we got remarried, we would invite them to the children’s bday parties, sometimes his wife didn’t come and sometimes my husband wouldn’t come but we never thought anything about it,his wife didn’t like it at first but when she finally figured out we were just parents together and that’s it she understood.

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Let her have em back

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Personally, I don’t believe a man and women could only
Ever be best friends .
See , I have friends who can call me anytime of the day /night . Now having a guy friend call me up at 11pm just to laugh and then maybe meet me the next day for a stroll , shopping and coffee without the kids wouldn’t be right ! So please don’t say I’m talking rubbish !
Yes , male and females can be friendly but otherwise NO!

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If you knew beforehand that he was still friends with his ex then that’s totally on you and you should have known what you were getting into. If you didn’t know or he didn’t make it known then there was no way to know that you’d be in the situation you are in. With that said, you need to speak to him about what is making you uncomfortable. One on one with no distractions. He already told you he didn’t want to stop being friends with her, if that is something you can deal with maybe suggest that you two and only you two start doing stuff more together. If it’s not then maybe it’s time to find the right person with no ex attachments.

One question makes all this irrelevant though, do they have kids together?

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Just let her have him it’s never going to change clearly he doesn’t care about your feelings towards it , I think if he really cared about u he would take your feelings into consideration

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Leave if he loves u should be first he’s not telling everything

Find yourself someone that puts you first. He doesn’t love you if he puts you in that situation. To be “best friends” with an ex means unresolved feelings to me.

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I’m friends with my ex. We also have a daughter together. We get along better now then we did when we were together. Neither of us wants another romantic relationship with each other, we both know it was a very toxic relationship.

Your partner is supposed to be your best friend, everyone else second. A good idea would be is to speak with the other woman? Tell her how it makes you feel, maybe grab a coffee together. She should also be respectful of her supposed “best friends “ relationship and not sabotage his happiness with you

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Pfft, get the hell out of there.

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You either accept it and get on board or don’t accept it and break it off with him. Ideally… you could express your feelings and he would cut back on their interactions but still remain friendly but his words and actions lead me to believe this other relationship is a priority to him over you so you need to decide what YOU want based on his actions.

Sorry to break it to you, your ex is still in love with his ex. No way in hell does a guy still do stuff with his ex, especially his exs family…where you are invited…if hes in a relationship with you, he should be doing this stuff with you and your family, not hers. And if he cant see that this is bugging you, you need to run, and fast. A guy who doesn’t even consider your feelings is a big red flag. Its means your feelings will never, and i mean never considered at all.

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He’s still in love with her.

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Then ask him if he won’t mind you going out to lunch with your ex, watch his face and when he is done getting angry ask him what is the difference?

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Stop the friendship with the ex if they wanted the friendship now why didn’t have it then I don’t like that because you are in his life not her she had her chance

If he was friends with her before you guys started dating , it’s not fair for you to ask him to stop being her friend .

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being friends is fine but it’s very weird that they are spending so much time together and i don’t think he’s ready for a new relationship at all

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Tell him the curb is waiting for his ass

I wouldn’t feel comfortable with this. It sounds like they still have feelings for each other.

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Doesn’t sound like she is an ex

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Its goes to show that he values his friendship with her more then he does with you! I would leave

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You’re invited, You’re welcomed into another family. But you’re suspicious because of the belief people that they can’t be friends. Yet you went into the relationship knowing how close they were. If you don’t feel comfortable just because someone isn’t enemies with their ex then leave. Don’t fuck up someone else’s life because of your own paranoia based on possession of title.
I’m friends with a few of my ex’s and when I start dating I’m up front about it and some people are controlling assholes that try to control my life. My ex’s family still invites me and my son who’s not their blood to functions and my ex used to be best buds with my dad and see him everyday before his hours increased. My boyfriend was suspicious at first and tried to put his foot down and gave me an ultimatum. Told him to get his head of his ass and look closer and see past the genitals. They now hang out without me sometimes.

Sounds like you’re the best friend not her

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I wouldn’t stop being friends with someone because of my relationship :100:Honestly if It bothers u so much ask him to stop hanging wirh her so much. If he chooses not to tell him to kick rocks :woman_shrugging:t4:

Your partner should not be “best friends” with someone they had sex with or had feelings for. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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"Talk all the time and see each other almost everyday":triangular_flag_on_post::no_good_woman:t2::raised_hand:t2::no_entry_sign::warning: if you feel like you’re the 3rd wheel then YOU ARE.

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