I wouldn’t marry him. That shows his true colors and his feelings towards you. There’s no way I’d sign that and there’s no way I’d marry him. A prenup should only be about divorce.
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You’ve already I invested 5yrs, why not; well because spouses are typically first so You’re not sitting in a box at eighty. His wanting to give all to his daughter is just wrong. He has some deep seated guilt about something. Imo, I would roll out. I had my son before I met my husband and he will split his inheritance between his two older bonus brothers when we both are gone. Ps. I did own my own house as well. But no matter. He’s treating you like the last link in the family. That is what you have right!?! A family. People get funny about money but it seems in your case you’re trying to walk through a door that isn’t open for you! Follow your heart.
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Girl red flags all around I wouldn’t marry him.
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I wouldn’t marry him until the terms have changed to benefit all of you but what still gets me is how he thinks of your son that way. That alone would stop me marrying a man tbh
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You have to ask what you should do?
Why the heck does he want to get married? Why the heck would you even consider marrying him?
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If there is ever a single hesitancy as to if he’s the man you want to marry then DONT!
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Prenups are business, not personal. I can’t believe he waited this close to the wedding to get it drawn up. Sounds like the wedding needs to be postponed until both attorney’s can draw something up you agree is fair in the event of death and divorce.
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I’m hearing a lot of T’s and C’s on his belongings, what about yours? Do you not have anything drawn up for him to sign?
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If you’re questioning it then the answer is don’t marry.
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Red flags all around. I’d rethink the wedding!
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Break up don’t let him do that or u will be sorrow
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Postpone the wedding until it’s sorted, and make sure you have your own prenup.
He was worried about his daughter in a divorce or death situation, you and your son didn’t matter…run as far as you can from this person!
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Honestly I get that it’s a blended family however if it were not and you both started from scratch then it would be that he would leave everything to his spouse, then children.
He can allocate a certain amount or set up a trust fund for her.
In my will I have certain things I want to go to each child and I expect my husband or their Godparents to distribute it to them when they’re old enough.
Ask him if that would be a better idea so that everyone feels heard and taken care of.
Honestly, it’s disgusting for him to leave your son out just because he’s not blood and to throw you to the side like you don’t mean anything to him. If you guys can sit down and have a civil conversation about it, and explain to him how that made you feel, I would do that. If he can’t see what he did was extremely hurtful not just to you, but your son who looks up to him as well, I wouldn’t go through with the wedding. It’s just showing you how he’s going to continue to treat your son
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Well… now you know how he really feels lol.
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Don’t marry him!!! Usually if a spouse dies, most of the inheritance goes to their partner and maybe some to the children…this is a total red flag, does he not care what happens to you if anything happens to him?! 
what I’d be worried about once you’re married is if he’d control all the finances.
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He doesn’t trust you, I wouldn’t marry him. He can still write a will and put exactly what he said in the prenup. As hurtful and devastating as it is I’d end it now x
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I’d be delaying the wedding. I can understand him wanting to leave you and your shared daughter 50/50 but you nothing??? Especially considering he doesn’t have other children of his own to think about!! Also the whole pre nup sounds dodgy
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Being in the same situation. I have three children and a fourth with my current husband. Yes he is right. He does not have to leave anything to your child other than his own. If he does great, if not , so what. If you inherit anything of course it’s to both your children. Your son has a father , he will inherent what’s from him your daughter won’t. But what if you die first, make sure it goes to the kids and not him. Easy . But I think the life insurance should go to you. If he passes
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Don’t sign anything and don’t marry that man. Be glad you dodged this bullet.
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Absolutely not. Not only was this sneaky and manipulative but it’s extremely disrespectful. When you get married it’s suppose to be what’s yours in mine that includes all children! I would never as a mother allow someone to treat my children different due to their paternity. Your son needs someone to stand up for him now because I don’t think this will be the last time it is shown how little he thinks of your son. I would also never let my daughter think that treating a woman like this is ok or allowed.
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Leave.
The fact that he said something about your son having it, would be enough for me. He clearly doesn’t think much of your son and that’s disgusting. I understand wanting to protect his daughter, but when he got together with you, your son also becomes his son. Biology means nothing.
I’d have a huge talk about this, and if he doesn’t agree to include you or your son, I wouldn’t marry him.
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Keep your house and don’t marry him! All of this should have been discussed before he went through with the paperwork!
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I would not sign it! His true colors just came out! He should treat your son the same way he treats your daughter.
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Married or not he can always have a will drawn up that states the same thing. If nothing is stated then all assets would be passed to next of kin which would be you as his wife, but if he writes a will he can give everything to your daughter in the case of his death. He can also revise the will over the years too if more children come into the picture or he changes how he feels in the future.
Suggest he writes a will instead of putting his death in a prenup. Either way a prenup is to protect his assets so that they remain his and he doesn’t have to risk losing half in the case of a divorce.
I don’t think it’s wrong he’s trying to protect your daughter, but if his income is the only one you rely on then I can understand why you’d feel blind sided. Definitely have a conversation and see what would be the best move forward.
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Personally I would not marry that man. Any man who would be okay to leave one of my kids, (the kid he is a father figure to) empty handed wouldn’t be the man for me!
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You said you also own a home but stay in his right ? I would guess that would be why…
Youd be set with your own home ? Do you pay half the housing costs for it monthly/mortgage ?
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Time-out. I love these conversations because it’s all about … what do I get! You didn’t mention it but most (not all) prenuptial agreements protect your assets that you have before becoming married. He can’t legally give away what you contribute to the marriage. So if double check the fine print on that death clause to see if it’s part of his will or part of the prenup. I love that you say “his” daughter instead of our daughter. What’s that about? Now as unpopular as this opinion will come across—his assets that were acquired before your wedding should be allocated as he pleases no matter how much you don’t like it. Anything acquired or built after you say I do should be divided amongst all of you. We have 25% allocated to our children and I get 50%. We also have living wills set up so that the kids get installments so that they don’t blow through it. I don’t think you need to leave him I think you take a step back and look at the situation as a whole and ask the important questions- come to a conclusion that works for the two of you.
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I wouldn’t sign it, not because of what it says because of what he says. He obviously has trust issues surrounding finances. I also have two children by different fathers. My youngest stands to inherit quite a bit from his dad, mainly in land, as they’re generational farmers. My oldest will not receive any of that, which he shouldn’t. But my husband would never leave me high and dry after years of devotion.
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The problem with this is not the actual prenup. In the even he dies and she is a minor, she will not be able to access anything until she is of age. He needs to appoint someone to manage her assets until she becomes of age.
That sounds more like a WILL than a prenup .
These boots were made for walking start walking i see dictataship in him
Change to life estate but daughters name
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I would never marry anyone who done this to me
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That is insane! If you guys have only been together for 5 years that means your daughter is still fairly young, and he is close to the big 40.
I am the soul beneficiary on my husbands things and we have a 5 year old daughter that gets a percentage put in a trust until she is of age. We are in our thirties as well. I also have a son whom my husband has helped raise since he was 8. He is a Marine now and isn’t on my husbands things but he is on mine. But he is grown and has financially set himself up. Had anything happened to my husband when he was still a minor my husband knows I would have supported him as well.
I just feel like if anything were to happen to him he would want to ensure that you are financially capable of giving your daughter a good life. Tomorrow is never promised, and it’s pretty selfish to possibly leave your family with financial grief if you can avoid it. 
I’m not going to say don’t marry him, but times a ticking, and this is a serious conversation you two need to have together before a wedding.
It honestly feels like a control thing without looking at the bigger picture.
I personally would never take my husband off of my life insurance policy as the main beneficiary even if we divorce, because I know every bit of it would be used for funeral expenses and the rest for our children.
You should be able to trust someone like that especially if you plan to marry them.
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I don’t think he is in it like you are but i agree his daughter should get it idk people change after someone dies
And yet—you failed to mention what you wouldn’t would do for his other daughter that’s not yours in the event he passes. And THAT is why he is doing it. You clearly can’t get along with his child to feel secure enough or—since you’re so independent and standing strong—owning your own home and seem to navigate fine though life alone—what’s it matter what he does with his when you have yours (assets, home money etc)
So—simple, since this is entirely about greed and money for you—get a life insurance policy on him so in the event he dies—his kid doesn’t go without on “the corner” and you get all of his money! Cause that’s all marriage is built on nowadays. Don’t get married. You’ll never stay married and he’ll leave you and you’ll still have nothing …of his anyway
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Yeah id be walking away. Sorry not sorry he showed his true colors. IMO
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I would do the same prenuptial. I think only assets that are gotten together should be shared (for me specifically). Everything I have done on my own, would go to my biological children. Any inheritance to me would go straight to my children as well, bypassing my spouse. My spouse can remarry and that puts any assets in danger for my children
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It’s right in front of your face that he’s VERY SELFISH & only cares about taking care of his daughter! If that isn’t plain enough NOT TO MARRY HIM then that’s on you! RUN RUN RUN
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This is where life insurance would be good to cover the house and 401K. Life insurance works around the estate and it is a private contract and no probate. That is an option for him to take, pennies on the dollar and you won’t be left out in the cold. Your fiance should consider your needs.
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RUN! Last night was a blessing! He is not the man for you! Run like hell!
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So just to be clear. He’s worried you will take EVERYTHING and give it to the son, leaving the daughter with nothing. Why? She’s your child too. Something speaks wrong on this. So you can have your life insurance and assets split up any kind of way. Sure it is a pain to do it. Most of my husband’s policy goes to me and but there is a portion left to my son. If something happens to both of us there’s a trust left to care for him until he’s 18. My policy is the same.
No thank you, I would say goodbye.
I see both points honestly. I’m not going to lie I see most marriages (including my friends) that are like this. You go in with what you have and you leave with what you came in with life or death. Honestly, I don’t think it’s unreasonable but I could see how you would be upset about it. Realistically… He may be the father figure to your son but unless he’s adopted by your fiancé he’s really not your fiancés responsibility. You have to set your son and yourself up for success if he was to pass. Maybe, you can talk to him about leaving you with 20%? The house I wouldn’t worry about because you can always buy another one together with both of your names and he came remove you from it. I think a conversation is needed on why he wants to exclude your son so much. Does he feel like you favor him over her? Even though he raised your son does he not feel like a father to your son? Does he not want the responsibility of your son? Is there some weird jealously thing going on? I would get to the bottom of it before you say I’d.
DO NOT SIGN, DO NOT WALK DOWN THAT ISLE AND LEAVE HIS SORRY BUTT!! How horrible!! I’m so sorry you are having to deal with such a person
Be THANKFUL last night happened. He not only showed you who he is, he put it in writing. Maybe he did this because he is the AH. or because you are the AH. Either way- save yourselves the trouble.
I would definitely be POSTPONING the wedding IF NOT CALLING IT OFF ALL TOGETHER! This is a HUGE red flag! I could NEVER marry a man who didn’t love my son and treat him as well as I did! I can understand certain stipulations if you both get a divorce but NOT THIS! This is totally unreasonable, unnecessary and unrealistic! I’m so sorry this has happened to you but I truly believe you should call off the wedding as all he is worried about is money and your in for a world of pain and trouble if you marry him. Cut your losses and move on now
In the case of divorce, he should get to keep the house and assets he had before you got married.
In case of death, everything should go to you (and in turn, you would continue to take care of yourself and kids).
I would not marry someone that is looking to leave everything to just your daughter (essentially leaving you and your son in the cold). What is he thinking???
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Wait a minute …. People have to understand that he is just trying to protect himself. Maybe he has seen something happen and is scared that would happen to him. Honestly, you can’t trust anyone now a days. I would say that he should change it and put if your married for more then 20 yrs the prenup should be null and void
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His daughter or your daughter together?
The prenup shouldn’t be one sided. It should protect both parties. Here is coming across as very selfish
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IMO - Short sighted ego is in play here. His concern for his daughter is genuine and probably just trying to prove he’s a good dad by buying her affections. He’s not ready to provide for everyone.
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Well it is your daughter too that he’s leaving everything too correct
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What father wouldn’t want the mother of his child to have everything she needed to properly care for the child in the event of his death? Or that the wife was taken care of? Or even divorce given the situation.
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Call the wedding off!! You don’t need a self centered Ass like him!!
No way would I marry him!!
Obviously, he doesn’t love or care for you.
He should want to include your son. But maybe he’s thinking since you own your own house that this arrangement would be fair? Idk I’d give it some time, both of you calm down and then try to have a calm discussion about where his head is at. You have every right to be upset at this. If he’s not looking at you guys as ONE family unit that’s definitely an issue. I don’t have step kids but I was a step kid so I know how it feels to be left out.
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When you are married, this would be an issue - you are not! Blood is thicker than water -
I’d be questioning more y he isn’t treating your son the same don’t matter if he isn’t bio dad or id be leaving with the kids and he can shove the house up his butt. See if he’ll put all 3 on it or don’t sign.
Girl this man don’t love you or your son it will be hard but at least you have your house keep it and move onto a better man who will be there for you and yours good luck and God bless
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i agree with his prenup. anything before you (house, insurance, money) should remain separate from anything you would build together. my prenup is the same exact way.
it’s also in my will who gets what.
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Uh nope. Marriage means you become partners and you both need to trust each other to be parents to BOTH of your kids. I would never marry someone who would treat my son as if he weren’t his own or deserved less than his own kid. And he chose to draft this whole thing without your input and you’re just supposed to sign it? It shouldn’t have even gotten this far without your input. You absolutely have some thinking to do… I’m sorry but this is a huuuuuge red flag for what your future is gonna look like.
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You are not overreacting. You need to get out of that relationship. You’re son deserves better. Please, please don’t marry someone like him.
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Yikes. To think he’d boot ya from the home even if divorced says all I would need to know. What father puts a mother out on the streets??
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No way I’d sign something like that & no way I’d be getting married in 4 days & no way I’d be back resuming a further relationship with a person like that.
No telling what underhanded things he will pull in the marriage over you or your son. & yes you may lose 50% custody of your daughter, but you owe it to your son to keep him safe from men just like that.
I’m shocked you two are supposed to get married in a few days. Don’t marry this guy, he could care less about what happens to you after he dies.
So your saying your daughter would kick you out ?
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Refuse the marriage and continue your relationship the way it is.
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Put the wedding off a few more months
So u leave what u have to your son. Maybe ur son’s father will leave for him . Why would u think if he dies you would be on the streets. Why would your daughter put u out. How about thinking that this man wants to Leave his daughter well off ,so she won’t have to ever worry about such things. There’s many ways to look at this situation.
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I get trying to protect him self, to an extent, but that shows you exactly how cold he will be IF divorce ever did happen, and yes I know, nobody enters marriage thinking divorce is even a possibility… but with every marriage, divorce is a possible outcome. He is only concerned about him and HIS daughter now, while things are good… I’d postpone or cancel the wedding if that’s what it took, but no way I’d sign that or even consider signing it. I’d present him with what I was comfortable with and if he couldn’t meet you there, then no marriage. Scared or not, him excluding you and your biological son was thought about. It’s a slap in the face, or a knockout punch, even. Just no.
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Do NOT sign that agreement. Do not marry him.
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I would absolutely not sign that and if that’s really how he feels I would rethink marrying that man.
Red flags… you have every right to feel the way you feel… prenuptial thing I get in the case of divorce but in the case of death that’s nonsense. If something happens to him and your daughter is a minor then all of that is tied up until she’s of age and you are left with nothing. They are both your children and it bothers me he feels that way about your son. 
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If you have a house why are you acting like you will be homeless? Why would your child throw you in a box on the corner? Keep your house and let your son have it…the daughter gets Dad’s house. Pretty sweet both kids get a house when you and he are pushing up pansies. Most kids have to fight over one property.
Not the way to start a marriage I’d reconsider for sure.
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Sign it. His kid 100% is entitled to his belongings before anyone else.
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I wouldn’t get married. If my husband had that type of idea about me &/or my kids from a previous relationship, he & I would not be together.
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Do not marry him
If I was in your shoes, I would suggest, you make your wedding date later than it is as long as you didn’t already pay for the venue… then I would sit down and talk to him about your concerns and questions about the prenuptial. If you can’t find a middle ground on the topic. Then make him sign one that states he has to give your son, half of what your daughter gets. Since marriage makes your son a part of that family.
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My husband put my three kids on his life insurance at work split 33.4, 33.3, and 33.3. Two of them are biologically his, the other is 17 years old and was 9 when my husband met him.
It isn’t unreasonable to want your children treated the same.
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I would not marry a man who had no heart for me-the details in that prenup speaks volumes.
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Do not marry him with that prenup.
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Money grabbing greedy c*w!!! He’d making sure his daughter has a secure life.
Pure selfish no way would I marry him
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Do Not Marry him!!! 
What are your state laws regarding marital survivor benefits? Many states will force retirements, pensions, stocks, etc to be paid out till death of the surviving spouse before turning them over to their offspring. That’s even with a prenup or will.
We just went through this in Nebraska where everything was left to his kids (and a dead ex spouse). But because she was married to him for over 10 years (that state’s requirement for survivor benefits) she was entitled to all his benefits until the day she dies upon which get divided out according to his original paperwork.
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I wouldn’t get married lol
Did you even consider that since you both have homes…yours would go to your son and his to your daughter?? Maybe he was ensuring that the daughter would have a secure future also?? You havent .mentioned how secure you are now, with him alive. Do you work?? Do you have a financial portfolio/ Will to make sure your son is financially secure?? Does your son have any ties to this bio family?? Are they Involved in his life?? Does he have any financial assistance from them now and maybe his future?? Who is going to be responsible g or your son if you die first?? I see you said your BF has been a Father figure, but not about your sons relationship with his bio Father and family. What happens if he were to die ,now, before the marriage?? Does he have a will , or you, living together?? Don’t ASSUME anything when it comes to private property or assets.automatically going to the surviving spouse, if its not in a proper will.Things go all kinds of crazy when there’s a death, a lot of them destroy entire families Every person who has any thing at all needs. to have one You wouldn’t be entitled to anything, unless your state honors common law. His biological child can draw on his SS till she is 18.but not your son.
A relative of mine just went thru a similar situation, The husbands home was handed down thru the years ,( ranch) and the will was written that only blood relatives could be listed as owners. I know it sounds absurd but it is what it is…spouses were excluded to have their name on it… Maybe his home has a deed with similar requirements .
My understanding is a prenuptial, or binding financial agreement here in Australia, is used in the event of divorce or separation. A Last Will and Testament is used in the event of death. Never seen a will merged into a prenuptial as they are both two separate scenarios to cover off on legally as one relates to a break up where you no longer have a relationship and one in death where it would likely cover both a relationship and none.
Don’t sign that! You guys should have done the prenup paperwork a long time ago that way you wouldn’t feel backed in a corner 4 days before you’re supposed to get married. Good luck to you!
Isn’t it your daughter too? Why wouldn’t you want her taken care of and also why would you assume she would put u in a box on the street corner
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My husband and I are together for almost 13 years now married for Two. I have a son from a previous relationship who is now 13 years old. He met my oldest when he was a year and half old. I told my husband day one my son and I are a packaged deal no and ifs or buts he has to treat him like his own. Bio dad is in my son’s life. My husband from day one fell heads over hills over my son. He still treats him like his own. I think every possible step parent should love their step child like their own. He and I both agreed to give inheritance to both kids. I have a two year old now that we had together do to complicated birth. He does have some set backs and learning delays. I’m going to be paid for his cares soon. Honestly if my partner didn’t treat my little one like he does with your bio child together thats a red flag for me. That and the prenup. Sounds just to fishy I’d say no to the marriage. If you don’t trust your spouse you shouldn’t even marry. Him not you I wouldn’t marry him. If my husband came up to me about that and then I heard the conditions that would be a huge no go for me I would of probably left him. But thankfully my husband and I are about the same we don’t believe in prenups. You two could work out couple counseling to see the root why he is doing this. Honestly like everyone else said and my gut telling me it’s a huge big red flag. With what he is doing to you.
I feel like there’s more to this story . Something could’ve happened as to why he wants to make sure he leaves his daughter some security. I wouldn’t jump the gun and assume he’s selfish without knowing his side of the story .
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He should, first of all want to be sure you are taken care of in the event of his death and he should trust you enough to know that you would care for the daughter.
Sounds as if he selfish, and has some trust issues.
Think long and hard about marrying him.
As a momma about had a baby before me and my husband got together
Pack your stuff and leave…. Ain’t no way I would marry and make my son live with and respect a man that couldn’t include him…. And if he hasn’t in 4 years he’s not going to!! Even if he is in the outside he’s not on the inside!!
There is someone who will love you and your babies!!
We just finalized my husband adopting my oldest son 
Don’t make your boy live through that
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I’m petty do the same back to him and say that your house is going to your son only 
But honestly sounds like you both need to be on the same page about everything before you get married!
That’s humiliating. What’s the point of marrying him ? He doesn’t see you all as 1 family. The fact that he waited close to wedding to do the prenup says it all… he wanted you to b forced to sign the contract. Do yourself a favor - do not marry him. You shouldn’t have to fight over this. Most importantly keep all your money separated
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In the event something happens to him, he doesn’t care if you’re taken care of. I wouldn’t marry him. This shows his true feelings. Leave.
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I probably wouldn’t marry this guy.
But if you still want to, get a lawyer. This part is the business side. Get someone who is familiar to look it over and find a way to protect you.