Now his true colours show!!
Leave girl , things will only get worse and he’s disregarding your son
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Wow! I’d be calling that wedding off
I’m so sorry
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Keep your stuff to yourself
I can under stand if the marriage ended in divorce but if your with a partner for 20 30 whatever years into the marriage and u have raised kids then you die when they are are adults and still married the wife should be taken care of even if his social security goes to her and they the rest should be split even amongst the adult children . But if divorce happens then he can always change the will
The home I live in is my husband’s, his family has told me time and time again that if he dies my butt is out on the streets. And I’m still here and I will remain here as long as he is alive because I didn’t marry him for what he will leave me when he dies. I am here because I love him and want to spend my life with him. It seems like you made your way just fine before him and you will make your same way after him. If you are just marrying him for what you could get in the end then it seems to me that a prenup is actually a good idea for him.
I’m seeing a ton of red flags! I would not marry him. I could understand if he left a portion to his daughter but for him to leave you nothing he clearly doesn’t care. What if he dies suddenly via an accident and you have to move out that same day you are grieving who does that. Move on and whatever you do do not sign those papers!
That’s a very harsh prenuptial… 
was there no better option gz ?
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Strange, what happens when you die? Does your son get everything also and his daughter is left out. He wanted a prenuptial and added a will— 2 separate documents.
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if your going to join families, it’s ALL of both.
and you don’t treat your wife this way, that is NOT honor. they need to learn exactly what marriage means.
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Ya I feel how you feel and I dnt agree with that at all. I would not sign it.
I agree with this prenup/WILL. He’s leaving everything to your daughter. That doesn’t mean you will be left on the street. It means he’s giving your daughter the means to take care of you without you having the ability to take from her. Your son can inherit from you & his father. Why should he have 3 parents to inherit from while your daughter only has 2?
I have everything going to my daughter as well. Of course my daughter absolutely adores her step-dad and would never throw him out. If it came down to it would your daughter leave u broke and homeless??
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If ever in doubt don’t do it
Wow!!! He literally just treated your son like an outsider ! And you are going to marry him? That pre nup was a deal breaker as soon as you read it! It shows he cares nothing about your feelings or the son he is about to inherit! RUN FOREST RUN!!!
That’s the red flag warning signal run girl! He doesn’t love you enough to put others ahead of you and be so deceiving! That’s a nightmare kick him to curb you can do way better! He does not value you so you need to value you!
Ok so why don’t u sign for ur son to get everything if u pass.? I see ur point.
Have u got a lawyer and paperwork on ur property and all? Maybe u should re think marriage. I would say every relationship weather married or not will argue. But if can’t sit down n talk it out without a big fight is it really worth that? Marriage is hard u have to talk n be open with eachother sometimes we gotta give some of our wants or whatever to lthe other. But if ull can’t be 100/100 why get married?
Warning comes before destruction
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Girl no. My fiancé is adopting my first born and we have another boy turning 1 next week.
Don’t marry that man. He will never love your son as his own let alone treat him fairly. To leave him and you with nothing with no qualifiers is intentional. He could have split it even unequally to your daughter but he wants you to have nothing
sounds like you need to move on
Run do not walk away! If he doesn’t trust you now to do what is right when the time comes how can you trust him now? And if you go first what will happen to your daughter and your things? Please rethink this marriage!
That’s a red flag, he’s showing you how he truly feels about you by excluding you from the prenup. The house, and money should go to you because you’re gonna be his wife. Don’t marry him, leave and find someone else who will think of your needs when he dies.
You have a whole other house you could leave to your son. Sit down and reflect for a second that there is a reason he feels that way. You are very defensive and reacting on some fear. There is a reason you were ready to marry this man, don’t throw away that part of the relationship. He is leaving EVERYTHING to your child. Are you over protective of your son? Are you the type of mother that wants the stepdad to love your son unconditionally but when he tries to raise him you have your conditions? There is a more serious problem here, one that could affect your son. Never throw a man away. Do some self inventory and proceed cautiously. You have a WHOLE other house! How can you possibly think you’d end up in the street?
I haven’t seen one comment that says to stay , in a divorce I completely understand to give u nothing but also in death is the hard part to swallow! Wow
If would be different if it were just his daughter but she is also your daughter . Also you stated that you also own a home so what’s the problem . Why are you saying that you will be in a box on the corner? You will still have your house and also you will have your house to leave to your son.
You should be next of kin then everything between you both should go equally to both children when you have both passed away.
Blood doesn’t mean family.
I know he’s protecting his daughter but he also should protect your son and you too.
This screams he’s not committed to the both of you.
I’d call the wedding off if I was you.
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What do you plan to do with the house you own once married? Do you rent it out? If he dies in 10 years, and your daughter is a minor. That money gets put away until she’s 18 right? And you, and his minor daughter, would get kicked out of the home? You can’t leave a house to a minor? How does that even work. The life insurance is one thing, that doesn’t bother me as much. It’s the house. Why would he kick you out of the house as soon as he dies. Bc that means you and 2 kids are with out a home, he’s a monster if he’s ok with that.
He has every rich to take care of HIS CHILD . Good to see a dad do this . All to much the wife gets it all and gives nothing to the child
As for YOUR son will your daughter be included in your exes will ? I assume not .
Believe me that’s not the man you want to marry. You want a man that loves you with all his heart. And wants the mother of his children taken care of along with his children.
Best of luck to you.
Run. This is not right on any part
I wouldn’t say I wish last night never happened. Looks like you seen true colors of a man you thought you knew. God works in crazy ways and this may the sign you needed before ending up married and divorced.
God for bid something was to happen to you both. You’ll be grateful that your daughter is in charge. She is between the both of you. She is what you guys have in common. It makes sense… but if you really think he’s doing it to make sure your son gets absolutely nothing then yeah that’s a little messed up and also if you really think your daughter would leave you in a box on the corner that’s messed up too 
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My first issue is that he knew it said this and didn’t discuss with you. He could have had a mature adult discussion with you being someone in a relationship where we don’t share children, I understand the inclination to just want to take care of your own children. However, you will be his spouse. He should want to take care of you as well. Is there anyway he would be willing to amend his agreement to split his estate 50/50 between you and the daughter? See here’s the problem, if he were to pass away before she turns 18 then she doesn’t directly get that money. It will be held up somewhere in an estate until she turns 18 and that would kind of be bad. He could create a trust and he could leave it in a trust, which protects it better, for the both of you. She gets 50% and you get 50% and whatever you do with your 50% is up to you.
Kind of awful that he just sprang this on you without talking to you about it first. I would definitely hold off on marrying him until you guys agree on this, but having said all of that, in the beginning, you said you have a house that you’re not living in so you wouldn’t end up in a box. lol. Js
I’m concerned he wasn’t upfront with all the details. There are variables where this could be messy. I believe I would go back to my own home. Im sure this is hurtful but be glad you found out beforehand.
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Those feelings are valid. I’ve actually gone through this recently with my husband…he doesn’t want to leave me the house because he doesn’t want “my kids” to have anything of his. So, I talked to an attorney and filed bankruptcy (because that will actually help my credit and in two years I’ll be eligible for a home loan as stated by my attorney). As soon as I get to the two year mark, I’m getting my own home because that’s bullshit. Get back into your home, if you still have it, and stay there.
Don’t get married… however I do understand why he left everything to his daughter and not your son but he should have never excluded you in any of that. I don’t agree with him leaving your son out but your son’s father can make sure he’s taken care of and so can you.
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What happens to your house? You said both of you own houses. Who gets that?
If you both have a house you should have a prenup and you both walk away with what you came with.
start with talking to your own lawyer???
It’s a choice don’t like it don’t sign it and don’t get married or co promise where you both split
Don’t marry him…families are supposed to take care of each other. Especially spouses and all children.
The prenup is not the red flag. Him dragging his feet right up to one month before and not discussing ‘exactly’ what he wanted within the prenup is the red flag. This is the kind of communication(or lack thereof) you can expect during the marraige… Call the wedding off.
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Listen in all reality it doesn’t matter. Here’s why. His 401k, his money, his EarnIngs prior to marriage, his life insurance. Are all individually assignable. Even after your married you don’t just get these things they goto whoever they are willed to. Tbh, you shouldn’t even know who it’s willed to because he doesn’t NEED your permission. Every single thing you just mentioned has a non disclose. Which means by law, he doesn’t need to notify you of any of these decisions. The only thing you should worry about is what happens when you get divorced. Which, you will get 50% of all earnings while married.
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If your daughter really loves her brother she will share . This is one of many reasons why I say if you have a child and separated from baby daddy stay single . I don’t think he’s in the wrong for this. I’m more on his side for this but that being said if you really aren’t feeling this. I wouldn’t expect someone else to raise my children if it’s not theirs . But for the sake of this if I were on your side and either way . You may be better off not getting married because I know for a fact he ain’t gonna change his mind and I don’t think he’s wrong if he doesn’t to.
I wouldn’t be getting married to him
Sounds as though some hard serious conversations are needed if that’s possible
He needs to be reasonable
If you’ve to post here for advice on what to do I think you know the answer but can’t come to terms with it. We’ll I’d be gone. Son and daughter with me. That’s awful absolutly awful. The prenuptial was for the house he said but really if anything happened to him his daughter would get everything. What if yea have more children. The fact alone that if he passes away that he loves you so much to leave you with nothing. He won’t even let you put your name on the house. There are 100s of red flags. Time to leave.
Sorry you’re dealing with this. I couldn’t ever marry that man if I were you. I’d be too afraid of him passing in some freak accident (God forbid) and then losing everything. Sounds like his heart isn’t anywhere invested as yours is. Hugs
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I would 100% walk away from this situation
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Unfortunately you’ll never look at him the same after this even if he dose change the prenup
Honestly, I would not want to go through with marrying him. Your son deserves to have someone around who will treat him no differently than your daughter and you deserve someone who would want to make sure you’re taken care of, as well. I doubt that he believes you would leave everything to your son-I think he just only cares about your daughter and not what happens to either of you. Be glad that you are finding out who he is before having to go through a messy divorce later. I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way, but when one door closes, another one opens. You will find someone who loves both you and your children.
Im confused why would the daughter you both share throw you out? And dont you own your own home still? Maybe he is hoping that daughter you both share will take care of you? What is is point of view on this? Dont marry him an he can still leave it all to the daughter you share regardless. And it should be asked what happens in a death where the daughter you share is a minor? So many variables im not sure have been thought out with this. But it does sound like theres no need to get married if these are his thoughts. The daughter you share can still inherit a lot. Idk i do agree much still needs to be discussed but i want to hear his viewpoint which i know i wont get bc if i could understand his viewpoint it would be easier or harder to figure out how to compromise. And whether or not it will benefit the BOTH of you in a marriage. And with that said what if you die first? You said you have property. So you have assets as well that will need figuring out in divorce and in death. Start thinking about your too honey. He probably thinks you will give it all to your son in that case? See still dont know his thoughts. I dont think hes thinking this way to hurt you but shoot how could he not want to take care of you too and vice versa?
Sounds like he wants to make absolute certain your son doesn’t get anything, and he doesn’t care what happens to you in between. He does not view your son as his son, and he’s clearly certain he never will.
I would not marry his ass. This will go into much more than a will if he dies.
Don’t do it!! Y’all are supposed to become one unit. He clearly hasn’t accepted you and your son.
Length of time is all relevant in this. When did he buy his home? If you contribute towards the mortgage, then you own a percentage of this home as well. If you don’t help pay the mortgage, then prenup only for the house is what’s fair with certain conditions/circumstances. It’s wrong and unfair he’s thinking all equity and appreciation of the home belongs to him. If he dies , your daughter is a minor, she isn’t capable of making legal decisions. Now your household will become a single income for you raise both kids. This thought process is very calculating. It’s very shellfish and thoughtless of him to leave you with nothing financially to care for you and the kids. It’s very telling how he views your son. And you. I would not want to marry someone like him.
call that bs off. tell him to kick rocks. build your own empire to live from for your kids. apparently, that bi*** of a man doesn’t comprehend what it means to have a family
A good husband would want to make sure his wife would be taken care of in the event of his death.
I would shred this document in front of him, pack all mine and the kids shit and head back over to my house.
I actually agree with giving it all to your daughter either way. If he lives till 80, you will also be up in age and I’m sure your daughter would take care of you. Your son does not need to be included honestly, he is your sole responsibility. Now I’m not saying that he shouldn’t love your son, I’m just saying it would be up to you on what you leave for your son. If he would die before your daughter is 18, she wouldn’t be able o touch anything until then and you would be given her death benefits from him. I think you should really think about what you feel and want and make a decision. In my opinion, he isn’t wrong for this.
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Honestly yo boyfriend doesn’t owe your son anything…U are still alive and u can also put everything u have on your son🤷 Atleast he’s leaving evrything to yo dota it’s not like the gal is not yoz.
So is the daughter from another woman or u? It sounds like a shitty deal!! The both of u need to sit down and TALK to figure everything out!! Good luck!! Most states don’t recognize common law marriage.
That Red Flag Slapped ME, and I’m in Texas girl! I can totally understand wanting to safe guard what was owned BEFORE Marriage, and appreciate the Fact he is Thinking of his child in the event of his Death.HOWEVER The very FACT YOU AS HIS SPOUSE Were pretty much told F**k YOU AND your Son would have ME Canceling that wedding Immediately! He WITHHELD that Detail intentionally, as He waited until DAYS before the Wedding to have these documents drawn up. I HATE to break this to You, HE HAS CLEARLY SHOWN YOU WHO HE IS AND HOW HE TRULY FEELS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR SON, It’s Up to YOU How to proceed having that information.
He needs a last will and testament for death not a prenup
We have 4 children. Our oldest will become the beneficiary for our home (she is not biologically mine) our other 3 kids will have our other assets separated to each of them. The only stipulation is that she keep the home and not sell it. We want our kids to be able to have a home to always come back to.
With that said. I’d either have him change the prenup to include your son on some of the items and/or you make your own that involves giving all of your own personal assets to him.
You should not be removed from a home, after death. Divorce, sure but not death when you’re going through the worst time. If you have your own home, I’d forsure move out and think long and hard about a marriage to a man like this.
I would not be marrying this man anymore.
I find it odd that you would not get something. Taking care of his daughter makes sense
I think my mother’s husband invented the prenup. Here’s their story . Way back in late 60s they were Gona marry . He had property and she had a house . He wanted her to put his name on the deed to her house
She said no, she wanted her kids to have it . (3 of us). So he said ok then we will just go get a lawyer and write up a document that what is your is yours and what is mine is mine . She signed it . They stayed married for probably 30-40 yrs
She never got a dime
When he died all his property and money went to his son’s .
But she resented him all those years over it . She said well he could change it if he wanted to .
And she eventually sold that house but I didn’t get any money from it and my brothers didn’t, not that I’m aware of . I don’t know what she did with it . But there’s always resentment and bad feelings to come out of these situations
Does this document have anything in it about what happens to your assets in the event of divorce or death you have a house a car do you have insurance or a 401 or any other assets that would need declared
At least he bothered to follow through with making a prenup even if it was a crappy one instead of stringing you along for years, never bothering to do as promised, being made to feel like you’re not even good enough for the insult of a prenup hurts more than anything. Does it suck, yes, but at least he did it. Also, you have now seen a side he may have hidden from you. You have the choice to refuse his terms and not sign it, if you don’t agree with it don’t do it, don’t sign it just because you want to get married and then end up stuck with a person with differing values.
I would not get married.Odd he did not think of you at all in the end.Get counseling and see what his thoughts are.
I understand him wanting to protect his own. If it was left to your son, the other legal parent could try to gain control over it.
But honestly, I don’t like that death clause that everything would go to your daughter! Wtf? I’d be wrapping him in cotton when he went out as you’d end up homeless along with trying to comfort your children and plan a funeral. It’s not ok and I would insist on changing it or postponing the wedding until you can come to an agreement
Just because he leaves all his assets to his daughter and not to your son doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you both don’t argue about it just ask him why to understand where he is coming from then make a decision based on all the facts that is best for you stop listening to others and listen to him and then decide
Prenups are for divorce, wills are for death. His assets, he can do what he wants. You need to protect yours the same way, so you make sure that your assets (you have your own home, so if you sale that, that money is yours to invest or do with as you see fit) are protected in the event of divorce and make plans for how you want your assets divided between the children. I can’t say I blame him for looking out for his own child vs a stepchild. Unpopular opinion, I would do the same and was open with that from the start with my husband. But since he showed you who he is, now you determine if you want to stay since you don’t like how he is handling the division of assets. I bet he waited so long to strong arm you in to an emotional decision. Talk with your lawyer and maybe a financial advisor.
He wants to leave his daughter his.Blood well off I don’t see a issue w this 
You answered your own question. I’m sorry
Sounds like he’s hiding something…I wouldn’t marry someone who isn’t looking to build a life together and leave me empty handed if anything were to happen!!! Wife should come first and wife should obviously plan to split everything with the kids and should get the house they live in together…
Anything that is accumulated during the marriage will be yours in most states. If you already own a home, have a job with your own income and 401k, why are you turning this molehill into a mountain? Speaking from experience, my late husband did something similar when we married 25 years ago. The businesses and retirement accounts that he owned prior to our marriage were left to his children. We purchased 2 houses and many other valuable items during our marriage; which were all mine when he passed. I think you need to rethink this before your animosity is redirected at your daughter, there’s likely no foul in this game.
Darlin if you’re not sure he is the man you want to marry by all means postpone the wedding asap. It’s way too soon to make a life long decision with this major problem hanging over your head . Until you both work this out you shouldn’t be getting married. This is NOT a small problem. It will end your marriage before it even starts.
He obviously does not consider you a partner .
I personally wouldn’t be mad 
.
Yall need to find common ground or call it off tho
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Why don’t you both compromise and make a will stating that everything goes 50/50 to the children upon the death of you both. In the event he dies first you inherit 100% and then the kids get 50/50 when you die.
Well if you’re smart enough you wouldn’t marry him. I wouldn’t let a man or anyone treat my child like shit… they can go kick rocks… don’t sign it it period!!! You already know where you stand if you decide to marry this dude… be smart about it
Postpone your wedding at the very least. No way
BIG RED FLAG AROUND THAT! Don’t sign unless it’s revised to suit BOTH of you. Talk to a couples counselor. Since you’re not married, his will is probably the same.
dump him! red flags! do not marry this man.
That’s only the beginning of him treating the son unfairly. Move back to ya house hun. It’s over.
The fact that he views the children like that obviously shows he has favoritism. He literally didn’t even think about your son. He’s supposed to be raising that kid, loving him and treating him as his own but it doesn’t sound like he will
Who inherits from you? Who gets your home? Your life insurance? Your 401k?
Well it’s certainly not cold feet. Cold heart is more like it! He can leave you amd her certain percentages of whatever he wants to divide. But he clearly doesn’t want to give you anything. That’s cold. Why even marry then! I am sorry but I’d be so upset if it we me as well
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He should want you taken care of if he passes your HIS wife and both the kids moms both the kids are important and so are you. in my opinion it’s the man’s job to protect and take care of his woman?
that. He’s being unreasonable.
Nope. Don’t marry him. Take your kids and run. My ex made me sign a similar thing after marriage and it’s because he hated me. He doesn’t love you if you have to be blood to inherit. Periodttttt
That is what a will is for, not a prenuptial. I would not sign it. Or you could keep your house and rent it out and when you pass your son will have it. Then his house goes to his daughter
Isn’t it your daughter as well?
You are unrealistic. The daughter is a minor and he is doing his part to look after her if he dies. You already have property and able to work.
I believe in pre nups…wish I had done one…just make sure ifu splt or die you each get back what u own when u start out. Eg the value of your house plus any inflation
Then 50/50 or whatever rest…doubt they can throw u out the minute he dies…which could be 60yrs away. The ony thing I would sign is a pre nup to say u get back what u are starting out with plus inflation before aything else is divided up. As his wife should he die everything goes to u …as far as Im aware thats the law atm in Australia
…
If he is this selfish and cares so little of you to leave you out in the cold or in a helpless situation without batting an eye just imagine how cold and selfish he will be towards you in a marriage. This is one of the biggest red flags I think I have ever seen. This isn’t love. 
Been there. That’s a no go.
He doesn’t really like your son. People pretend to like our kids but they secretly dislike and sometimes hate em. I always watch all behavior I’m certain he’s shown you signs of not really liking him
Keep your house DON’T sell it. Rent it out maybe.