Chances are y’all gonna sell one of them on this economy so doesn’t really matter does it
I also put everything to go to my daughter after her dad passed away… my bf was like what… I said its how it is staybor go!! I work my ass off for her… that also depends on your daughter and if she decides to kick you out at 80… when he passes away…
nope… you can’t live your whole life wondering if he were to die today where would I live
Nah, YTA. He isn’t obligated to leave anything to your child that isn’t his. He wants to leave everything to his biological child, as most inheritances are done. You’re worried about you, you, you, and then toss the other child in later for that pity pull. Whether you like it or not, he isn’t responsible for your child if he passes away.
Well this is a big red flag because it was supposed to be a prenup but he made it more of a end of life wishes which makes no sense. I would never agree to this. You two should be sitting down together and deciding about assets distribution upon either of your untimely deaths. The prenup should be strictly in case of a divorce. Whatever you two build together should be divided and you both should get to keep your own stuff you had before the marriage, then things like alimony, and child support should be decided. It seems like he thinks you favor one child over the other and he doesn’t trust you to do what’s best for both. Also to leave you and your son basically homeless if he suddenly passes is crazy. There are many other ways to protect your daughter which she is BOTH of yours not just his alone from ending up with nothing but this is not the way. Also makes me wonder what would happen to your son if you suddenly pass. By his way of thinking would your son be the one to end up
with nothing. Yeah no way. I’d call things off until this is settled. A new prenup that reads you both keep what you came into the marriage with and divide what you build together. Then a living trust which is all of your assets and where each assets goes upon each of your deaths it’s simple and separate. Good luck. I hope you can get it figured out.
Write a prenup just about what happens in the event of a divorce. A will is a seperate entity.
Wow what is wrong with him 
and your thinking about still marrying him he doesn’t value you at all damb girl
Nope not ok I wouldn’t accept that
Run, as fast as you can!!
Nope, if my husband is willing to leave me high & dry, as well as one of the kids then I wouldn’t marry him at all. My husband & I are a blended family & we agreed to leave things with the other, pay off our house & what’s left is split between the kids. Not, we’re leaving one of us screwed & only a select few children get an inheritance. Your having doubts for a reason. I’d postpone that wedding until it’s resolved or you go back to living separately since that’s how he’s grows things. I understand being burned in the past but this is lunacy.
Council is needed. The daughter could end up giving part to her brother. We just do not know the future.
It’s the intention that is a concern here. They are two sides to every story. Think about the intent here.
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DO 
NOT MARRY THAT “MAN”
If he can’t accept your son as his own WHY TF would you consider marrying him?
So he’s not willing to provide security for you or your son in the event of his death? That’s a hard no for me and absolutely awful. Does he provide food, shelter and security to this child now? You sound like his child’s mother and not his soon-to-be wife. If that’s how he feels then I’d keep the mother role and lose the wife one.
If he gives everything to your daughter, why wouldn’t you have anything? Your daughter isn’t going to kick you out of the house. But you and your son should be added. I’ll be mad he didn’t add my son.
Leave he is a selfish person
Yo wtf? No thank you to all of that… keep your house and move back into it. Let the next person deal with that.
You both own houses you said so you would be left with your house of renting it out just keep renting it and leave whatever u have to your son
Don’t marry him. Just don’t.
With all of the personal I wouldn’t marry him with Any relationship u should treat each kid the same even if one isn’t urs its all or nothing
Treating this like the AITA Reddit board, I was really prepared to say YTA big time but after getting some of the details, I think ESH. I agree with the other comments that say that there has to be more backstory to this. Is this a second marriage for him? Did an ex take everything? Did he watch some thing like that happen to his father?  I’ve heard stories of ex-wives that take family homes, inheritances, even their step kids’ cars. Unfortunately this applies to widows. 
Unpopular opinion maybe- I love that he’s focused on taking care of his daughter though.  I don’t know the situation with your son’s father, but maybe your fiancé is thinking that your son has two of his own parents to leave him something. You even have your own house. If something happens to your fiancé, your son will still have both his parents. He might lose a father figure, maybe the only father he’s ever known, but there’s another person with financial responsibility to your son, and it’s not your fiancé.
But a prenup isn’t necessarily the place to discuss. What happens if someone dies. In the event of a divorce, though, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to retain your assets to provide for your sole heir.
The rest of the issues need to be hammered out in a will. Which you both need to do.
Wow. This man doesn’t give a crap about you, or you son. I would never marry him!
Nope don’t marry him my husband and I have been together almost 10 years and something would to happen to him as in death he has it where I automatically get 25,000 for me and the kids so I say that’s a red flag for me and I would not sign anything and put the wedding on hold but that’s just my opinion 
How bout you each keep your houses n set up trust funds for kids.Everything else gets split 50 50 if divorced if he passed away his daughter gets his 50 percent n you get the other 50 for u n your son. So everyone is taken care of. Just have a good attorney lay everything out so there’s no battles over money.
You say u own your own home move there and see what hus true feeling are you can set up an agreement that when you are married the estate can be written to give certain things including all you mention they courts will see all is carried out per agreement I think he is a loser not to trust you and still ask for marriage???think about it !!!walk away and see what he does…
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what he put in there. You stated that’s your daughter too 
you’re really upset he’s setting up your guys daughter to be ok after he passes, God knows when? Did he have the house before you came along? If so technically that’s his home, not yours. I would keep your home if you have your own home still. Knowing what you know anyways, let your son have that one.
umm he should put your name. the fact that he cut you out on everything shows he’s using you.
You are Sooooooo right to feel this way. Serious RED Flags!
And once .arried he will do as he wants and treat your son as he wants and your stuck.
Seriously Rethink it all before yoh get married.
Why do you think he wsited Soooo Close to the wedding?
Hoping you wouldnt fully read or understand it? Or you would just go along with it cuz y poo u were Sooo close to the wedding date.
Dont be a fool. He is manipulating you.
Not cold feet. That’s a shit move tbh! Can’t stand idiots who are like that. So what does that mean for your son that he’s been a father figure too? Have to be careful with situations like that. All the best and hope you decide what is best for you and both your kiddos & yourself
As a stepdaughter to a very shitty man - if he truly felt your son was an equal he would have left 50/50 to both kids in the house because once married, he should consider himself having two kids.
I say run, your son deserves better
Do Not Marry This With This Pre- nup in Place
I would seriously get the HECK AWAY FROM THAT TRASH!! I would take my son and go start a new life! After your son is grown and on his own …find someone else…that so called man your with !! He DOESN’T LOVE YOU OR YOUR SON!! a control freak is what he is…disgusting man!!! 
What are the laws in your state? Is he just protecting the assets he had prior to your marriage? Also, if at 80, he dies there is a giant possibility that you won’t be in the same home so then this portion of the prenup doesn’t matter. Maybe you keep your home, and reserve it for your son so each of your children is taken care of. I know it’s not ideal but it is an option. Is your sons Dad in the picture? He is trying to preserve assets so they will be available for the kids??? There is another side of this that is worth looking into and see if a happy medium can be reached.
Simple is not his kid so he doesn’t have to leave nothing to him… I bet you that if you were the one getting that prenup he’ll be ok with it…
Don’t get married to him right now… he obviously isn’t thinking about you at all you don’t want to be stuck with someone like that
Sounds more like a will than a prenup , i would sort that shit out before walking down the aisle .
There’s so much to this, you have your own houses too, do you plan to sell them? Does he think or have a reason to think you show your children favoritism? You’re also calling the man you’re engaged to your boyfriend not fiance? If this is his wishes he very well could have a will set to only take care of his daughter.
Go with your gut feelings who’s to say 10, 20 yrs from now he tries something similar? I see favoritism too and if it was going to get better it should of by now. You should be his #1 concern for his future. And obviously your not. I would leave the relationship to be truthful. There’s men who would be very concerned about your welfare when they die. Those are the men you should be seeking. This man I don’t think really cares.
You stated that you have your own assests didn’t you?
Leave his dumb ass. Selfish control freak! He should love both your kids equally!
Don’t sign anything and don’t marry for dam sure!
Your spouse comes before the children. Happy couples raise happy well rounded children. He could have atleast given you survivorship use and upon your death, then it goes to the kids. A man is to provide and take care of the wife and vice versus. This is not a good sign. If my spouse or I pass away, everything goes to the other spouse, period. If we pass together, then it’s divided between kids, blended family. Children don’t work to acquire and build estates, adults do. I never understood this logic. Kids are not entitled to the things YOU work for your entire life. I love my kids and hope I can pass things in to them, but my goal is to live my life, not provide for grown children.
Just quietly pack up and move to your house with the kids. If you’re already in your house, pack his stuff. He obviously doesn’t trust you. I feel bad for your son.
There is no way I’d sign something like that. A prenuptial is for divorce not death. So Frickn weird
Don’t marry him. He doesn’t really care about you.
First of all…what did your lawyer suggest???
My first thought is that he can keep his house and other assets and leave them to the daughter that you share. You keep your house and other assets and leave them to your biological son. This would have to be revised if you decide to have more children together.
It’s a very odd that he does not want to leave ANYTHING at all to you and that he waited until the last minute to get the prenup done.
I understand the forethought of a prenup. Do I agree and would I sign one? Most likely not but hey, situation has never come up in my life. But it seems that he has the notion that what is is his is his and what is yours is yours, children and life and what happens to you after he dies if you outlive him, included. That’s a red flag to me personally. Because to me, I’m not bringing much to the table and I don’t expect a man to bring everything to the table but I expect us to come to an agreement that we will both be safe and taken care of no matter who leave the table first or what happens to the table. Period. That’s marriage. Postpone the wedding until you, your fiancé, and your lawyers can come up with an agreement that both of you are comfortable with. Do not sign anything until then. Do not marry this man until then. Do not stop voicing your concern and stand your ground. This is your life, too. And it seems your decisions are coming from a much more well-rounded thought out approach of the situation. You are valid in your upset. You are not asking for too much, or over reacting. He should have had this written up, y’all should’ve already had the argument if one was to be had, and the compromise should’ve already been in the works by 4 days before the wedding. Part of me thinks he was hoping you’d rush in and just sign, wanting to get on the wedding and such. No ma’am.
Don’t sign he is telling you that he don’t trust you
For starters I’m not sure why in the event of his death that he wouldn’t have you as beneficiary to everything or most everything and then he could leave a percentage to each child, weird. Also, what’s he trying to say about you as a parent, that he thinks you’d do for one child and not the other?! If he’s your sons “father figure” and he doesn’t feel the need to include your son and only give to your daughter, yikes! That’s horrible. This is not a man I’d marry.
He’s obviously treating your son different, doesn’t matter if it’s bio his or not, he knew you had your son before dating you and he CHOSE to be apart of both of your lives. I wouldn’t sign- bf wouldn’t marry a man tho thought like that. My husband gladly accepted both my kids from previous marriage and we have 1 kid together
Pack your stuff and run back to.your house.
I think that is so selfish leaving you with nothing when you are old. I think it’s a sign to keep your house and not marry him
Don’t marry him. He does not love you that way. Prenuptials should be done well in advance. Stop having babies with men you really do not know, and girl you really did not know him at all.
You need to postpone the wedding, if not cancel it. This man should love you enough to want to look out for you. Most ppl I know leave everything to the living partner and that partner leaves everything to the children. Why not have wills drawn up at the same time to ensure both children are left an even amount? Honestly, this has red flags all over it. Why leave your son out?
I have stepchildren from a previous 12 yr relationship and they are still my children. I put my life insurance in the names of one stepchild and one bio child that I trusted to disperse the money evenly. I don’t want any nonsense over who should get more. They are all my kids and I love them equally. He should be thinking about both kids. Imagine how hurt your son will be when the man that raised him completely disregards him in death. That is not okay. This man does not understand partnership, if everything you build together will be taken from you. If you insist on marrying him, I recommend premarital counseling and a new prenuptial agreement. Best of luck 
I’d still marry …. Marriage is based on growth, love, trust, (and whatever else comes with it). You now have a life time to build your relationship. Shape and mould it, based on your relationship, and not the world around you. Society dictates soooo much that we now believe we “Have” to follow the status quo… can you not love this man for who he is? And not what he’s got?
What if one day, he loses everything?? Every dollar to his name, every grass on his lawn, every member of his family, WILL YOU STILL BE THERE TO PICK HIM UP AND STRAIGHTEN HIS CROWN???
I understand you worry for the future, but the future ain’t even here. You know what is? Today, your son, your daughter and your soon to be husband. Life’s too short to worry about materialistic things.
Your son is gonna marry someone one day and move one without you. Your daughter is gonna marry one day too, and move on. You and your husband are all that will be left in your lives. I believe if you loved him for him, 4 days away or 4 hours, marriage is still worthy, he is still worthy??? 
What if he dies in 5-10yrs and your daughter isn’t even old enough to comprehend inherited assets???
I don’t think his the man you should marry because why doesn’t he trust you
He made it clear your son is YOURS and made it clear where YOU stand with him as well. I wouldn’t sign shit and i sure as hell wouldnt marry him. I’d take my kids and move back into my house and I would make him pay child support. If he’s not going to treat your son equal to the daughter then he don’t need to be around. Would be the end of it for me.
Oof. I don’t think I would marry him if he is not at all concerned at making sure you are taken care of when he passes. And I definitely don’t like how your son is being treated. Not cool.
That’s not a prenuptial, that’s a will and he showed you how he feels about you and your son. If you die what happens to your assets? Did he put anything about that in there? Let me guess, he would be the beneficiary right? Uh, I’m sorry but it sounds really messed up he doesn’t trust you to take care of your daughter without him living.
Don’t marry him!! He’s basically telling you that he doesn’t care what happens to you and your son.
Massive red flags. Also, since only the daughter is mentioned, what happens if you and him have more kids? Will they be left out? I don’t think Pre-nups can’t be changed once the wedding takes place which would mean any children born after your daughter will get nothing. I would go to the lawyer and basically make up an identical prenup but for your beneficiary being your son and daughter (only cause she is also yours) only. Cancel the wedding and give that to him. I bet he will flip out when it’s reversed and he stands to get nothing. Then walk away from the relationship. He made it clear that he only cares about one person, no future children, not his wife to be, not his step child. No one else. He’s put you on the level of a room mate with benefits and baby momma. Not partner. Not spouse.
Have your own account and save money , do you work ? Why wouldn’t he leave everything to his daughter
I wouldn’t even marry him! I’d have to cancel the wedding! Honestly you might have to cancel him! There’s no way you can marry a man that feels like you would give his assets to your son an not his daughter! Honestly, that says a lot about how he thinks of you! Secondly, when y’all got together you’re a packaged deal! I’m not saying he would even need to leave anything yo your son but him stating alone you wouldn’t give to MY daughter and give to YOUR son is horrible! As if you love your son more than your daughter! The fact that he wouldn’t even make sure your good if he dies would have me 
soooooo fast!
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He showed his true colors why do you want to marry a man that wants you to have nothing? Who doesn’t care if your left on the street when he dies? Is this the man you want your daughter to be with? Your son to become? Go back to your home and find someone who gives a crap about you. All for prenups but at least say if I die my wife can be given money to be stable or stay in the house until she finds something etc. Not she shall immediately leave.
Keep your home leave it to your son. What the fiancé is doing is correct he owes your son nothing stop acting like a gold digger
I see the pain your going through. My husband always said to me that even though my son is not his biological father, he is his dad today and will always be. So everything we own, we split in half for the two kids. One whom we share together. So you have the right to feel what your feeling and how he is treating you and your son. You guys came as a package deal. He doesn’t get to choose to marry you but not accept your son. Marriage doesn’t work that way. Another thing, if your paying bills, any portion of the mortgage, you need to keep track of that expense. Reason being I say this is because you need to make an agreement with him that if you pay up 20k in mortgages at some point, (example) you need to have your name on the title. You need this to be written up by a lawyer. That way you feel like you own the house too. It’s a partnership now. 401k and saving, I get that he wants it for your daughter however he neglected the fact that you are this partner. The person who does everything else such as run the household, get the kids from and to school, cook and clean, hours of work just to keep the house inorder. That is your time. If you didn’t do all of that then he wouldn’t be able to work and save up. Let him know that it’s because he has you to pick up after him and the kids daily (your time spent not getting paid) that he can actually save up. The whole thing with splitting it is new Age BS. If he wants to split anything, it should be down the middle. A marriage is a partnership that both people get into because of love. I get people get divorce but many people forget how important our role as the wife and mom. We do three job in a day, is never recognized or appreciated for it. He is just another guy who can’t see that in society today. If he doesn’t see your value, girl, walk away. You are a queen and your kids are gems. All three of you deserve the best, at least better than what this guy is trying to scam.
HIS CHILD WILL ALWAYS COME FIRST. As it should be. You said yourself you have your own house. But have been living in his. So what do you need all of his stuff for?? He didn’t work his ass off just to die and give you everything. You sound selfish. Children first always. Then spouse. Just ask him to add your son?? It isn’t that fucking hard. If you are there until your 80 (if you lucky) the daughter will know how much you loved each other and I’m sure she would share with your old ass. Jesus Christ you sound so righteous and entitled. Your just the “fiancé” fucking pull back a bit.
Hell no, if my almost husband didn’t want my kid from previous relationship wanting ANY part of his life THAT would piss me off I don’t care if it’s his kid or not, he could leave him something. And for him to say it’s BECAUSE of said child is mind-blowing I would not be marrying this dude. Hell to the naw
Curious, what does the prenup say about your assets if you die? And shouldn’t you have said 100% goes to OUR daughter. You also said you both own your own property. Doesn’t the prenup state you will keep 100% your stuff? I’m a bit confused here. You’re making out like you’ll be left destitute if he dies. Prenups usually deal with possessions obtained prior to the commencement of a relationship. Sounds more like he wrote a Will. Need to have a discussion on the distinction between the prenup/Will. And considering how nasty families can get over money whether it’s prenup or a Will, I can understand why he wants to protect his & your daughter.
Why would you want to marry someone who doesn’t care if you are taken care of if he dies. That would be a hell no for me. I wouldn’t sign and I would marry his dumbass.