So my guy is leaving aboard in January as he got a new opportunity to work in a well-reputed bank and our wedding is in June. When I first heard it, it broke me into pieces knowing that he will be nowhere around me. It’s been five years since we are in this relationship! Even if I go somewhere close by with my friends for a holiday or even if he goes out with his friends we miss each other a lot. Sometimes we do even have little arguments too. But my main worry is from recently I don’t have positive thoughts going on in my head. I sit and think that’s what I always do, and in the end, I hurt myself by thinking and crying, I do love him a lot, and he does the same for me. I don’t know what to do. I’m 25years and his 30+ years old. i really don’t have anyone to talk about this matter. !up to now I haven’t searched anything about him or never ever gone through his phone or messages, etc.
Am I the only one wondering why she can’t go with him? Do I not understand how banking jobs work? Is she bummed because they won’t work together in the same place? Maybe I’m reading this all wrong
Why are you not going with him…?
Go with him. Something doesn’t sound right. Normally in positions like that your family goes with you. Ask him! But ultimately trust your gut.
I think it’s normal to be anxious about your significant other being away for awhile. Especially if it will be for longer than you two are used to. I would tell him how you’re feeling and that it’s making your brain go off on little tangents, maybe having him to talk to will turn down those made up worries in your head. Sometimes we just need some comfort and reassurance.
Although it sounds like you think he’s going to be cheating on you while you’re away and if he hasn’t given you anything to ever worry about, I would try not to let yourself think that way and trust him. Sometimes our brains like to overthink and we end up hurting our own feelings and that can make us feel/think things that just aren’t real.
I’m so confused by this whole statement. I’m not even sure I understand the question.
If you cant go with him then he is just going to have to be gone for awhile. It sucks but this sounds like a good career opportunity that would benefit the both of yall in the future.
Some time apart might be beneficial to the relationship as well.
This was just confusing lol
Is there a reason why you can’t go with him? Is this a permanent thing? Or is he going away for training for this new job?
There’s a lot of unknown factors. But what it boils down to, is trust and communication. Keep communication open and keep the trust in each other going.
If it’s feasible move with him now or within a few months. Especially if you’re getting married in June, I’d assume you guys won’t be living apart?
Time to pack up and go with him
I think she means that she’s upset And she doesn’t know the reason why,
My husband worked overseas for four years while my kids were teens. We set aside time each night to FaceTime. It really helped a lot. Not too mention, the kids kept me on my toes. Time passes faster than you think. It is lonely but you have to remember the benefits of what he’s doing for your future. I hope this helps
Why dont you go with him. Chances are he wont be leaving his new job
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He is 30+ … as 31 or 39? And you are crying when you are apart? Codependency?
Why can’t you move with him? And you can’t even go out with friends without crying cause you miss him? Codependency isn’t healthy. Time apart is good. Being together 24/7 isn’t always gonna be healthy and what exactly is 30+?
Why is everyone saying go with him lol my bf went away for work and came home on the weekends. Once in a while I would go down to visit him. It sounds like your insecure for no reason stop overthinking it. If you trust him then theres nothing to worry about. If you feel like it’s an issue then be straight up and ask whatever is on your mind.
I feel you. I’m very close to my husband. He’s my security blanket. If he leaves I go crazy and I can’t stop myself. (I have bad anxiety issues). Why can’t you just go with him?
Its hard when partners have to leave for work… Is this just for training or is this a permanent job location? If the later when will you be joining him? Is this just while he finds you guys a place? Is this just while hes getting trained?? Too many variables… But take a deep breath and relax things will be ok… Theres visits theres video chat theres text and phone calls… And a bit of separation can do a relationship good and make you value each other that much more… Your marrying him in less than a year focus on that while hes gone… Plan your bachelorette party…little things you can do that doesnt need his approval… And smile it will be ok…
Question, is this your first proper relationship? Because I can understand this if it is.
My partner and I have been together for 11 and a half years and this is both of our first proper relationship. We did split up twice and had time apart for a while but it has brought us a lot closer.
If possible, see a counselor about how you’re feeling in between talks with your boyfriend. Keep the communication open and constant as he can’t read your mind and know how you’re feeling.
What are you afraid of? Get counseling to see which of your emotions are healthy and which ones are not & advice on how to make your life better. You WILL have to make an effort for things to get better however.
Have you ever lived by yourself? Do you work? This might be a good time to become more self sufficient and learn to be OK with being alone, a great skill to have for life. This break can also be a good time to focus on your career development.
If you live in a place that allows it and you can afford it time- and money-wise, get a pet. Goldfish can be relaxing too.
Sounds like a lot of insecurities on your side with a dash of codependency. Also there is next to no real information given for any advise🙃
I think u should go with unless he cant.
Trust in ur relationship, if u deeply love each other you will be fine
Both of y’all have to learn to be two separate people when apart trust him to go free your mind by going out with friends and living life go to a new restaurant go to the book stores or a wine and paint class with a friend go eat lunch alone and just enjoy you find out what u love to do. I learned that if you can’t be you and he can’t be him and then y’all come together it won’t work. Y’all are engaged so obviously his eyes are only for you so don’t let Satan put evil thoughts in your mind pray and trust God. Hey I know you don’t know me but if your mind starts to wonder I’m free for you to hit me up on messenger any time…
I think you should talk to him about your concerns. And maybe see a therapist to get an unbiased opinion. If you are planning to move with him after the wedding I’m sure it will be fine. Sometimes when we worry (I have severe Postpartum Anxiety) we concoct stories and ideas in our head that are made up. Relax. Just my opinion
Take it to the Lord in prayer 
Well you can’t tell him not to take the job cause you don’t want to control him. The only thing you can do is trust him, without making him feel guilty and support him. If he leaves on bad terms then he will turn to someone else. Keep in contact with him and I guess in time you will know if you can trust him. Will be a test to see if you really want to marry him.
Bottom line is this. If it’s meant to be it will be. Till then, do you.
My thoughts are if he really loves you being with you should be more important then the job. Otherwise you could go with him.
Instead of talking to us,you should try talking to him.
You are answering your own question, move on.
I find it hard to help because I have so many questions. How long will he be gone? Do you guys have children? Do you work? Why aren’t you going? Did he come to you to discuss him leaving or did he simply make the decision on his own, and then tell you that he was leaving?
It’s quite evident that you trust him but why do you feel uneasy about him leaving? Is there perhaps a female employee from his job going as well? I think that your only choice at this point is to explain to him how you feel. Hopefully, he’ll put your concerns to rest.
You are going to get too many opinions on here, seriously.
Talk to someone who knows you both. A trusted family member or friend???
You should be excited that he has the opportunity and support him. In the long run it will benefit you as a family. If you can not go with him until after wedding, think of how many military wives spouses leave for deployment, it doesn’t mean you give up on your relationship.
I guess I don’t understand. Sounds like you are questioning your love for him and not the other way around.
Trust him talk to him