My boyfriend lied to me about smoking...advice?

he gave me a kiss goodbye and smelled like cigarettes… okay first time didn’t care, I don’t care about the smell I just don’t smoke myself… letter it happened again, but he claims he doesn’t smoke. so I questioned it… he says he doesn’t smoke must have been something he ate… well I am pretty intuitive with food and actually knew what he’s ate plus know what cigarettes taste like… he continues to state it is not what I think it is… okay well i could care less about the cigarettes… its the lying I care about… if he is lying about that what else could he being lying about???


I’m not saying lying is okay at all. But sometimes people lie because of how the other person will react if they told the truth, they’re trying to avoid an argument. Maybe have a calm conversation about how you feel about it and leave it at that. Don’t come at him saying he’s lying and freaking out. Then let him choose what to do next. He’ll either think about how you feel and talk to you or he’ll just do whatever he wants. You’ll have to decide if your relationship is right for you or not after that. But at the end of the day you can’t force someone to do something they don’t want to do, that’s just something we need to think about sometimes. Not everyone is going to change like we want.


Look, you’re not an idiot. Of course he’s smoking. But really, you can’t do anything about it. He has to want to stop. Tell him how you feel about it in a calm, matter-of-fact tone, and leave it at that. Your only decision will be what to do when he continues to smoke, stay or go?


Have you had Covid?? After I had it all I could smell was cigarette smoke even though nobody around me was smoking

I’m actually divorcing my husband because of him continually doing this. Going behind my back and lying. Then he wonders why I don’t trust him. We’ve been together 29 years and this behavior has recently started to get worse about a year ago. I catch him in his lies and deceit every time and I have had enough. Lying is lying no matter what.

Similar story here. My bf has COPD really bad. He can’t do anything without shortness of breath. He quit smoking a couple times in the 9 years we’ve been together. This last time he quit for about 6 or 7 months. Yes, he’s back at it. I’m furious with him. He can’t breath. Isn’t that enough. He uses his inhalers too much. He had really cut down on using them when he quit this last time. He uses them so much that he runs out long before he can get his next refill. He’s also on a cpap with oxygen when sleeping. I’m feeling broken. I don’t know what more I can do. I’m about ready to walk away instead of staying and watching him slowly kill himself. He has multiple health issues. We’ve had this discussion many times.


I think you might be over thinking this. It sounds like maybe in the past you’ve had some problems, but that doesn’t mean he’s living a double life. Just watch him and take mental notes. If you feel Iike he’s up to something then confront him. Until then, don’t accuse him of something that might potentially end your relationship

If he is smoking the smell will be everywhere not just his mouth, but hands , hair and clothes as well , it’s pretty hard to get rid of the smell .
And pretty disgusting when the other one is a none smoker .
Maybe he thinks that you actually have a problem with he smoking , some guys are not that smart on hiding this stuffs , he might think that he is doing something good making you think that he doesn’t smoke .
To be honest I do not think that he has bad intentions, just have a conversation about it ( not a confrontation) and keep moving

If he smokes cigarettes and you don’t, he would reck of it. I didn’t smoke and my husband does and there is no denying that smell. Maybe he is vaping? His clothes, hair, skin would smell of cigarettes.

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If that’s the worst thing he lies about, be thankful and forgive him he’s just not ready to admit it or give up the cigarettes sounds like he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings because he knows you don’t like it, be kind!

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I dumped a guy because he smoked behind my back. He said he knew how I felt about it and thats why he did it behind my back! He’s history!!! Gone!!!

Your nagging sounds pretty annoying
Get the man some gum and shut up :roll_eyes:

Get a Co2 breath test monitor . It’ll detect if he has smoked recently . Then he can’t lie lol


Um was he smoking when yoh met him?

My late husband smoked, and died at 51. We met in our 40s, and were married 10 years. He was sick for 8 of them.
I was the nurse, and the purse.

Must of been something he ate? Does he really think you believe that?


His body his choice. It’s stressful being smelled and judged. Just reading toir controlling ways I need a smoke and I don’t even know you!


So he is either lying because he likes to lie and he has a record of lying , or you’re more like a mother figure who would yell , try to punish , scared of your reaction etc .


His side chick smokes, duh :rofl:

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Honestly I’d believe him, there are several medical issues that can cause your mouth to taste sort of like an ashtray
If he was smoking it would be in his hair and on his clothes
Please tell me you aren’t tracking his food intake

When my husband and I first started dating he smoked, but I hadn’t seen or tasted it yet. He overheard me talking to a friend and saying I would never date a gut who smoked. He quit, and we dated for 6 years, been married 24.

Quit questioning him,he is a grown man,get him off the hot seat, your not his mother

This is a bright red flag. This is one of many lies in the future. Walk away now!!!