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QUESTION:
"I've been with my guy for 8 years now.. today he told me he loves me but doesn't really like me… and I put him off sometimes…. thats not okay right? It really hurt my feelings… but I'm sure if you asked him.. it wouldn't take much to do that.. also this convo was unprovoked."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"I’m sorry,but that is not love… I was married for ten years to a man that would say things like that, It broke me. I finally realized it and divorced."
"What doesn’t he like? Is it an annoying little habit you got that drives him nuts or is he just being a pratt? If he doesn’t like you and you put him off…ask him why he stays around. Does he want to move on cause you’d like to make plans if he does"
"I love mines but don’t always like him. Like it’s pretty normal."
"I love my husband. But I don’t always like him."
"He can love you but your actions can cause him not to like you…it’s plausible"
"I think this is normal. You don’t have to like every aspect of someone’s personality to love them."
"I mean… he told you he loves you. Your partner isnt always going to like you, I don’t always like mine and I do also put him off sometimes."
"I absolutely love my husband and there are times I tell him I really don’t like him or his attitude but I still love him. A person doesn’t always like someone’s actions or choices they make but that doesn’t mean you stop loving them. He at least feels your relationship is stable enough that he can express his feelings. It opens up opportunities for you to discuss what it is he doesn’t like."
"Self reflection sucks, ask him to go in to more detail and see why he feels like that. What exactly do you do that he doesn’t like. When I tell my husband something that he does or said hurt my feelings and I want to talk about it he gets defensive first, but then once we get past him thinking I’m putting him down, we get to the root of the issue and talk it out."
"No one likes anyone 100% of the time. My husband tells me sometimes that I irritate him. I know I do. I don’t do it on purpose, it just happens. Especially when you’ve been with someone for a long time. Same with my kids. They know. I love my husband and my kids ALL of the time… doesn’t mean that I always like them."
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