Im posting anonymously because this is so embarrassing… but my boyfriend has never besides valentines day and the very very beginning of our relationship bought me ANYTHING. Doesnt ever pay for dinners or going out anywhere. Heck. Doesnt even buy me a snack. Doesnt do anything at all to show me he loves me. We been together for 4 years. I always say to myself “well his mom passed when he was 17… maybe she didnt get a chance to really raise him on how to treat a woman” but at the same time isnt it common sense…? My coworker and I were talking about it and she told me my issue is making excuses for him. Which is true. I feel like i tell myself things to make it make sense, to make me feel better. But god… why do i get treated by men as if im non existent i do so much to not even get the bare minimum. What do i do so wrong !!!
Read ‘The Five Love Languages’ together. You may both find out alot about each other 
Yep. It’s common sense to treat your partner to an occasional gift. He didn’t need a mother to teach him that. It’s on TV, social media etc…
I went thru this for the last 10 yrs. He bought me like 4 things. He does by food n stuff when we’re out but it’s definitely not his love language for sure. I’ve said something many times n never changed. I’d advise buying it for yourself
Are gifts a necessity in a relationship? Idk, I find that kind of weird 
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Bring it up to him if it bothers you.
For me. It was easier to just agree to not celebrate holidays or bdays with gifts. My husband isnt good about thinking ahead and planning gifts or anything. I came to peace with that as long as he shows me he loves me in other ways .which he does. Small things that shows me he thinks about me and cares about me. We share a car. There’s some nights if I work a closing shift, I’ll tell him I’ll walk home so he doesn’t have to get out of bed n get our son up n ready to go get me at 11 at night. He refuses and says no and picks me up so I don’t walk at night by myself. I’ll be on the couch and once in a while I’ll say "dang it, I was just up n forgot to grab xyz… he will get up without asking n grab it for me. I’ll take that stuff over gifts any day. Is there anything ur husband does to make u feel loved? If not, he could be completely clueless not knowing there’s a problem. So def talk. Don’t bring it up when ur mad. Bring it up in a non attacking or accusing way. Mention ways u both could do better so he doesn’t feel like it’s one sided
There are several ways to show love.gifting may not be his thing.look up 5 love languages.does he show love in other ways?
Maybe that’s not his love language? Do u gift a lot? That’s prob your love language. I know my guys love language is affection and attention but mine is acts of service (like cleaning house,etc) just talk about it. 
People are not mind readers and this situation seems to be a perfect opportunity to strengthen your relationship through communication and gain a mutual understanding for the idea of love between the two of you. Ask yourself a couple questions, Have you given your partner a chance to meet your expectations? Have you voiced what you desire in your relationship? Our feelings are our responsibility to manage and thus we need to create an environment where we’ve not only given ourselves the level of understanding we desire, but a foundation for our partners to understand and know what it is we want.
If it’s really important to you, you need to keep talking to him about it. Nicely of course. Start a conversation about love languages, find out more about his and tell him about yours. In my experience my husband wasn’t really good at buying me gifts either. But after years of being together he’s gotten better at it. My love languages are acts of service, gifts, and words of affirmation. While my husbands are physical touch and words of affirmation. Neither of us are perfect at doing what the other person needs all the time. Because it’s too easy to get confused and do what you think they need instead of what they actually need. For instance, when I’m upset I want someone to help me fix the problem. Hugging me and saying I’m sorry just doesn’t do it for me I don’t feel cared about. But for my husband he wants to be loved on and doesn’t need me to fix it. Sometimes I really have to take a step back from going into fix it mode and just give him a hug. It comes from a place of love because I want to help but I’m not actually helping because it isn’t what he needs. It’s confusing sometimes and takes a lot of communication, mindfulness and hard work. So you guys just need to talk about this a lot and it might take a lot of trial and error. The most important thing is that there is effort from both parties and that you guys remain calm about it and not let it escalate into a fight.
I’m really surprised at how many people expect random gifts from partners, my fella and I are saving for our future. Hopefully one day we will have our dream home and I won’t be sitting there wishing we had wasted money on insignificant things. Maybe he feels secure in your relationship and is saving for the future, maybe you’re just feeling a bit insecure and need a display of affection, the best thing you can do is talk to him about it. See where you are both at and discuss what is important going forward. I do hope you find happiness whatever path you take to get there 
If he is " generous" in other ways I would probably either let it slide or let him know it’s important. You can be generous in other ways by doing small nice things: making your morning coffee, getting the kids off to school or taking them to the park so you can sleep in once in a while, shoveling out your car, telling you look nice, etc. If he’s doing stuff like that it shows he values you. If he’s doing neither then he doesn’t value you and it’s time to move on. Someone who does absolutely nothing to show he cares has already mentally checked out of the relationship and you should too. Sometimes they are using you for a place to stay or to avoid paying child support.
Everyone’s love language is different, maybe he doesn’t know what your love language is?! Maybe you truly don’t know what his are. Do the love language quiz together so you can help fulfill each others love. I have to admit I was about to call it quits right before our wedding (we’d been together 4 years prior to getting married) and a friend told me to sit down and figure out our love language so we could help each other love each other better. We did it and one of mine was gifts. He now brings me home a candy bar or some ditch flowers about once a week just for the little pick me up! Yes he does more bigger Stuff once in awhile but it’s the little things like a candy bar or ditch flowers that show me “he’s thinking about me”
What do you do so wrong…YOU ALLOW IT. Know your worth. Match his energy. Better yet move on.
So a couple of questions: Do you two go to dinner, etc and do you always pay? Do you buy him gifts for holidays, birthdays, ect? Is there a huge disparity in your incomes? I think you need to talk with him and approach it gently. Let him know you would appreciate a small gift on occasion. I think we definitely need more info…do you two live together, does he pay the bills, is he amazing with doing things around the house, etc.
Because you are desperate to have a boyfriend…4 years…really…
…people will treat you how you let them…obviously your not happy…GET OUT! In any aspect of your life…GO AFTER WHAT YOU WANT!!! Not what someone else will let you have!!
If he doesn’t buy groceries or pay for dinner when you eat out or buy snacks for you ? Then he may be a tightwad or someone that doesn’t care. You should find someone that helps you. This guy is more likely taking advantage of you. You been doing it all so far so he will expect it to keep on that way.
Gifts are not prof of love for some people , some people are raised not to give gifts.
Mine not a gift giver 1 in a blue moon he will buy me something that I didn’t pick out or order myself for him to wrap.
Tell him you need that in order to feel love. Have a conversation about love language, if he changes great if he doesn’t then you need to move on to someone who can love you right. Life is too short to be unhappy
Not to make you feel like you don’t deserve to be treated with gifts or anything, but after all the years I felt like this, I started wondering why I let it bother me so much… So now If I want something, I make it known it would be nice to have and if the hints not picked up that it’s something I wish he’d get me ,I just get it myself. Plants/Flowers…a book, a cute outfit, a hair day (once a year because I’m not really a girly girl lol)… something new for the house or kids.
Your situation sounds like you’re the financially responsible one so Do it for yourself girl! You deserve it! And don’t let him or anyone make you feel bad for doing it.
You work… buy your own stuff. He will never change … I’m sorry but I dealt with one of those and left…
By 17 he should have already been taught how to treat a woman. And that would also have come from watching his father with his mother. Men think different that women. I raised 3 boys, now adults. I see everyday that they just think so different than we do. It took me 60+ years to understand that. I now try to help the daughter-in-laws understand it.
Move on dear youyr missing out on a beautiful life for yourself. Show him your worth more than being neglected. You can love again with someone who will share their life with you.
As a few have said, there’s about a hundred ways he can show you he loves and appreciates you, without it being gifts or dinners out. My husband doesn’t generally do gifts either (although when I was on bedrest for like 3 weeks he kept buying me my favorite things bc he felt sorry for me …I swear I gained 20 lbs and most of it was salt and vinegar chips and gummy worms lol) but he cooks dinner sometimes especially when I’m sick tired ect. He also cleans, walks our dog, checks the oil in the car and occasionally even puts gas in if he sees its low. He doesn’t let our kids (or anyone else for that matter) get disrespectful with me. That’s just alot of the daily stuff, but people really do take those things forgranted. Sometimes those are the ways one shows love. Not everyone expresses love with gifts. However if you truly can’t see where there’s anything but disrespect and the feeling of unvalued, either have a conversation or walk away. Honestly no matter what communication is the key. He can’t read your mind so you might have to be brutally honest with how your feeling. Just prepare yourself mentally, as that conversation could go lots of ways.
I highly recommend you both read this book: Gary Chapman - 5 Love Languages Set - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts , Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married https://a.co/d/4Ii97Ow
If you never communicated this need to your partner then are you expecting him to be a mind reader? And if you have communicated it to him and he still doesn’t meet your needs then it’s time to move on or decide you are okay with it. But you have to really be okay otherwise there will be tons of resentment.
No one is going to value you until you value yourself. Time to have a serious conversation and demand couples counseling. If he won’t then nothing is going to change until you change your relationship status
Have you communicated this to your partner? The main thing in any relationship is communication. Let him know you miss the romance and would really like it back. My partner is doing the same thing to me. All I can do is tell him how I’m feeling and see where it goes from there. If things don’t change, maybe he’s not the one for you.
Have you talked to him about this? Do you treat him to things? Maybe if you talk to him he will talk. On the other way around I’ve been with my husband almost 16 years and he doesn’t let me pay for anything, I wanna help with bills he says no I got it I make good money you don’t need to help I’m the man. But I always surprise him with goodies. He is to kind and even opens doors for me. He spoils me a little to much. At first it wasn’t like that, even though his mom and dad didn’t have the best relationship it was very toxic. He was shy at first and one thing I can say he learned was to treat a woman with respect. Because of his parents toxic marriage. Communication is the key hun, keep the communication open let him know he can talk to you. Sorry to say but just some men are just like that.
Following because SAME !!!
Communicate that with him first. Tell him that those kinds of things make you feel loved. If he still doesn’t make an effort, then there’s an issue.
Buy your own stuff and have a talk with him. I ever expect anything from my husband I buy it myself I pay my own way all the time.
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if you don’t expect stuff you can’t be hurt.
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let him know set those expectations and boundaries and talk about it
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if your not getting what you need and want still leave.
You don’t do anything wrong, you just haven’t found the right one
It needs to work both ways, if not I’m out
First off buying you things shouldn’t be how you measure your partner’s love for you…
Secondly do he do actual loving things?
Thirdly are you financially stable to where he feels you don’t NEED him to buy your snacks and such?
What you allow will continue…
You get treated that way because you allow it. Stop letting them
Buy your own stuffs and problem solve
my theory is if you don’t like it can’t fix it or can’t change how your treated just walk away coz why be made to feel unimportant
Talk to him. Maybe he needs help in this dept. he needs to understand what is important to you. If after, he chooses to continue to disappoint you, you have decisions you can make. Either accept it or move on to someone who better understands what is important to you.
Remember, he can’t read your mind. Good luck.
Simple answer: because you don’t speak up.
Tell him “it’s silly but it would mean a lot if you did xyz for me”
Men are not mind readers and if you want a candy bar or a night out ask him for it. If he cares about your feelings he will try. It may not be perfect but effort means a lot too!
Have you oh idk, mentioned this to HIM? Do the 5 love languages quiz and have him do it. Share results and BOOM lol 
like just tell him or even just ask him. Open communication. If after 4 years you can’t have an open honest conversation about needs and things that make you feel loved you need to just leave.