no, and don’t try change his mind. if marrage is a deal breaker for you then you should break it off. like me for example, i know for a fact i want at least one more child, if i met a man who didn’t want anymore children, then i wouldn’t be with him.
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Mt current wife and I both said that before we met. We have 5 years in now.
It’s only been a few months, how long has he been divorced? Compromise and have a commitment ceremony, have everything but the piece of paper.
I kinda understand but i also have a concern. We have been together 3 1/2 years. We are our forevers. I want marriage. He does not. Both been married before and divorced. Kids. Ours his and mine. My only concern with not being married and it has zero to do with the love part…is the issues when it comes to rights at hospitals after death assets etc. I would be perfectly content with a commitment ceremony rings exchanged in front of those that matter but i worry about later on down the road.
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Having a wedding doesn’t really change much, if you want the fancy wedding and he doesn’t want the paper commitment then just have a ceremony unofficiated that way you get your dress he gets the comfort of no paper
Listen to your heart💞
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Move on it’s not worth it
Take him at his word. He’s being honest with you so don’t try to force him into something he doesn’t want. You need to sit down and decide for yourself how important it really is to you.
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A few months??? Girl don’t rush. Then you will have 2 baby daddies
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Be happy you got a good man. Get over it or remove yourself and kids. At least he’s honest.
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I’m more worried about the fact that you’ve only been seeing him for a few months, and he’s already met your kids. Give it some time. There’s no need to talk about marriage or anything right now.
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I don’t understand how people could want children with someone, but not marriage…
Children are a lifetime commitment and a lifetime connection… you are connected to that other parent forever, in one way or another.
Marriage, you can get married, divorced and never have anything to do with that person again…
There’s so much more to having a human being with someone, then signing papers and saying I do…
I’ll never understand people… 
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If the both of you are living together and you both want another child do it before you get too old. I been with the boyfriend for 16 years and he doesn’t want to marry. I had friends that were living together got along the finest kind, They got married and divorced with in the year. If anyone wants to breakup it doesn’t matter if you are married or not. Have the family you both want; if you both are happy living together single let it be. Marriage is just a piece of paper to show that you are.
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1)It’s your choice to compromise on what you want.
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it’s possible that he could change his mind. However, I wouldn’t hold my breath on it.
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as to taking the chance… I don’t know. He’s made it aboundly clear that he doesn’t want to be married. The question is can you live with not having the wedding you dreamed about?
If marriage means so much to you why should you compromise?
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What will the paper and the ring change?
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My husband never wanted to get married either yet he still asked me I feel like if you’re the right person there’s no question to ask it’ll just happen. Who knows maybe you’ll be together for years still happy and he will agree. But then again you could waste your time on someone who doesn’t want the same things as you and you could grow resentment.
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Only a few months and you think he’s the one? Girl give it a year or two and see how it goes. Stop rushing into stuff.
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We both said that too but we’re happily married 29 yrs
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My aunt and uncle have been together for 42 years and have 3 children together. They never married because it’s just a piece of paper. They are still very much in love 
Only you can make that decision. There are pros and cons to it.
Marriage is on paper. Love is in the heart. What’s more important? Personally if you love someone enough you can stay together forever you don’t need a paper to do that.
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Does he have plans of staying with you forever? I’m only asking that because I want to get married but my man doesn’t. He is here to stay. He doesn’t plan on going and being single or finding someone else. We have four kids together but he does have a kid from a marriage but that didn’t last longer then a year. Reasons that I don’t want to give why.
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take the man at his word. You might also check Soc. Ser. if something happens to him can you get Soc. Ser for all those children?
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No and you need to not have a baby with this man.
He’s telling you he’s not down for commitment. He wants free range. Don’t hold up your life.
Take people at their word.
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After my divorce I said I would never get married again. The divorce was hard and messy and I didn’t want to go through that again. But I met my current partner who is everything different and perfect, Sunday is our our year anniversary.
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I said the same thing and then ended up running into one of my first loves in my hometown and we got married in our 30s and now have a daughter. Feelings and opinions change over time. You just met the dude. Give it time! 
I was married wish I never would of gotten married. In the end its up to you. I never wanted marriage before and then I wanted it bc of his biological daughter I wanted to adopt her but we never got to that point due to money so in the end the marriage was just a piece of paper.
I’m with a guy now for the last two years I’m thinking we may do a bonding ceremony but not the paper part. You could always to domestic partnership which is similar to marriage but different.
Just bc someone don’t want marriage doesn’t mean they don’t want you or your kids.
Some people just believe marriage is a governments way of “screwing” you. And in a way it is. We shouldn’t have to pledge our love by some huge wedding or a document if you love them it should be unconditionally but being almost divorced it’ll be 3 years of trying and already separating everything I have been trying.
I’m not sure if I’ll ever have a conventional wedding but I don’t mind the bonding ceremony. And I don’t have to be divorced to do that either.
All things can change he could change his mind.
And not all people believe marriage is a document but in today’s society it seems less people follow their vows.
I had to walk away from my marriage after 10 years are trying to make my relationship work and literally divorce papers were served just a few days over 3 years of marriage. Abuse does that to you. Mental or physical
I would let him go and get what will make me happy u deserve it.if he loved u he would want to marry u
I’d be questioning how you know his relationship with his kids after only a few months. Is it based on what he’s told you? Because the stark reality could be very different. And if that’s a big part of what you’re using to judge him. Be careful. Get the facts. Also, if he’s prepared to commit to a baby, but not a marriage. I’d say it’s because he knows he can walk away any time, without still being bound to you. I mean he’s obviously been in that position before, hence he’s divorced, and I’m assuming the ex wife has the kids. In which case, he knows next time, it’s easier to walk away and start his single life without any responsibility, if there’s no marriage to dissolve. I know it sounds harsh. And maybe not applicable to your situation. But, either way. Put you and your girls first. X
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Everyone is different of course but it is possible he may change his mind. My (2nd) husband and I have been together for 10 years and will be married 7 years next month. I told him when we met that I never wanted to get married again (and I really meant it at the time) but I joke that he won me over and I couldn’t resist him =)
It’s possible he could change his mind, but you can’t force him to, or nag him about it. If that’s truly how he feels about it, then you have to either respect it or move on. TBH, I would research this further… marriage isn’t as sacred and necessary as people want to think, he may be onto something
Being married by law has its pros and cons but really when it comes down to how your relationship is it’s not going to be any different.Its not going to keep him home or prevent him from cheating.He said he was willing to have a baby so to me that would say he would love to have that connection with you.My guess is his divorce was horrible and that’s why he don’t want to marry again.Its so easy to get married but getting divorced can be crazy and can be dragged out a long time.People stay together because they love each other and want to be together it’s not because they signed a piece of paper.You can still wear a ring and even have a ceramony without signing a paper.You can have the life you want without being married by law.Some states consider couples married after a certain amount of years it’s called commen law marriage…He could just be still messed up from his divorce but with time he could change his mind but a piece of paper isn’t going to guarantee forever it takes two people who are willing to keep working on their relationship.Its only been a couple months give it time to see where you guys are in another year.As for the financial part of it he could still put you on his life insurance and stuff like that so if your worried about that just make sure you have something just in case something happens to him.GOOD LUCK
Sounds like it’s a relatively new relationship.
His attitude could change. Mine has. Now I’m engaged to be married.
Have you explained that you’d like to be married?
My bf has 2 kids from a previous relationship and 1 with me and he had told me he never wanted to Marry and he just proposed to me on Sunday
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Commitment Ceremony!! Everything a glorious wedding has to offer just no signed government paperwork… best of both worlds
Ask him those questions
You’ve only been with him a few months so I can understand his hesitation to hold off on marriage. He’s not 100% sure he will never get married but I’m happy to hear after being with someone a few months that it’s not something he’s looking to do. Some states do accept common law marriage as long as you’ve been together long enough time. My mom had that with my dad even changed her name to his without even going to the courts. BUT the only difference is the government wouldn’t count it for death benefits but for most else they would. He claimed her on his taxes. They got married months before he died so she could get his death benefits as well as us kids. My thoughts, you have only been with him a few months. That’s a short amount of time to even be thinking about marrying someone anyway even if you have a dream of being married. My man didn’t think he wanted to ever get married EVER. He married me.
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I doubt it. You have never been divorced either and that is awful 
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You had your goals and values set on being married until you met him. Walk away now. Sometimes the universe gives us signs and this is one of them. It saddens me that you are willing to change your mind about something that was so important to you your whole life, for someone you have only dated a few months. End it now because if you do, it’s still early enough that if it was meant to be and he changes his mind about marriage, it’ll be genuine. But a whole baby and an ultimatum later, he might do it but I’ve seen disastrous results. Don’t do that to yourself nor your kids. When men tell you what they don’t want early on in a relationship, listen.
You make a decision to stay or leave based on the absolute truth that he doesn’t want to get married. If it’s something you really value and something he no longer does then it’s not a good place to be. But don’t wait hoping he’ll change his mind.
You deserve to hey married +! If he can’t see that …Gooooo
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Let me see if I’m tracking this right,
You have a really great guy and you all have pieced together a really great family but you’re willing to let your own selfish desire for a government piece of paper make you walk away from it all. 
Perspective
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You are only 3 months in. Wait a while and see what happens. All relationships are good the first few months. Things may change. Especially when you both have kids.
Nope. If he really loved you, he would Want to Marry you. If you are going to live together, then he needs to step up with a ring. Otherwise, you’re just playing house.
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My fella said the exact same thing…for a long time. 14 years down the line and we’ve just booked our wedding for next year. But even if he hadn’t proposed, yes I felt sad about it but end of the day he is the love of my life and being with him was more important than making it “official”.
But don’t give up hope lol 
Don’t have a kid w him
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That is a personal choice. However marriage is something that should have been discussed when things first started getting serious. Not wanting to ever get married would be a deal baker for me, but everyone is different. You need to think about it good to decide if you can live with never being married or not and then take it from there.
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First off, YOU’VE ONLY BEEN WITH HIM A FEW MONTHS! Slow down! You shouldn’t have even introduced your kids yet, and you’re talking about making babies with him? Jeez, get to know the dude first. It takes at least a year, usually three, especially if he’s gone a lot, for all the demons to come out.
Then think about: What difference does marriage mean to you? Is it a wedding you’re craving? Or the idea of commitment? Or the idea of stability/security?
Stop rushing things so you don’t get yourself and kids into trouble. Talk to a therapist/counselor to clarify what you really want. That will help.
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There’s no real compromise on this one. He’s been divorced. Ask him how that ruined his life for a whole. Men get screwed all the time in a divorce. I understand.
So, you have to decide; wait to see if he changes his mind or find what you’re looking for.
Why are you making a huge decision of marriage now?! You have been involved 3 months. Heck for me that’s too soon to even bring the kids around him.
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You have 2 daughters from a previous relationship and you always dreamed of getting married??? Do you sleeping with them will bring marriage???u need to wake up and see what you give for free…
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Even though y’all adore him, he wants different things in life than you do. Don’t change what you want for someone else. Don’t settle for less than what you desire. Tell him how you feel and what you want. Who knows, maybe he will change his mind one day. Don’t set around waiting on that though.
If my husband and I ever divorced we both never want to get married again either 
So my partner wanted to get married and I didn’t. Every one on here saying “if he loved you he would” marriage dose not define how much a person loves some one and him putting a ring on it doesn’t either there are other ways you can show your partner you love them with out a piece of paper and a rock. I be more concerned that you have been with him for 3 months and you are already having your children around him and thinking about having more kids…
First and foremost you’ve only been together a few months, why is getting married or having another baby with this guy even on your radar at this point? You don’t even fully know him.
He have been dating him for 3 months! Why would marriage even come up
Before entering into a serious relationship things that are deal breakers as well as important moves, should be discussed. Things like marriage, kids, and more. You haven’t been together very long so it is a bit of a red flag with things seeming to be pretty rushed, especially with both parties having children.
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you don’t even know someone in a few months 
try waiting 4yrs, and then you’ll know if you want to marry him or not.
people shouldn’t even introduce their kids to someone til after a year or longer
STOP RUSHING EVERYTHING
its so ridiculous
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No they don’t change their mind and 2 months in you have more then enought time to back on out if that’s what your looking for
Hang in there. He will most likely change his mind. Mine has.
I got with my husband 5 years ago
He said he would NEVER marry again
We will be married 3 years in May
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If hes not up to the idea don’t push it… if you don’t want to compromise then find another relationship that you don’t have to… y’all shouldn’t have introduced the kids to your partner or their kids until you’ve been together A LONG TIME not just months… thats how peoples kids get hurt…
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What’s more important…… getting married or bring with someone who loves you and your children?...
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When i got with my partner he had never been married and no children, i was divorced with 2 children, when we was few months into dating he stated he would never marry or have children of our own, 6 months later he proposed to me with my children in on the secret, we are nearly into our 20th year and going strong, we never got blessed with a child of our own but he did say if it happens then so be it.
This was coming from a man that wanted zero commitment, hes a fantastic step dad and amazing grandad to 5 gawjus grandchildren
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So not have another baby without getting what you want, you deserve it, no offence of course, you don’t have to compromise yourself, there are other men out there who want to get married and will love you just the same
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A few months is too soon to be thinking about marriage when kids are involved
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My ex boyfriend said he never wanted to get married and he just did after 6-7 yes and took on her kids.
Why is marriage important now… it wasn’t before you had your other children??
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Maybe there is an outside reason he doesn’t want to get married, maybe from his previous divorce? Was he burned badly by it all? Maybe if you offered to get a prenup when the time was right, so if y’all did separate, he would have some security
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I would get out now before it gets too serious. Speaking from experience😉
If this is what you want, have the conversation again. If he refuses to get married, and you want to get married, then one of you has to give. If neither does, you’re wasting both of y’all time. To me, personally, that’s a dealbreaker. Maybe for you it isn’t, bit only you can decide that. Chances are if you have a problem with it now, it’ll still be a problem 5, 10, 15, 20 years from now too.
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I was married for 28 yrs, I’m divorced. I never want to get married again. I will not change my mind. I’ve dated a few guys who wanted marriage and kept pushing for it. I sent them on thier way.
You can have a forever, healthy loving relationship with out the piece of paper.
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Ditch him. He is not willing to commit, and he shouldn’t get all the benefits without giving all the protection marriage gives you.
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There’s nothing wrong with having kids with someone and not being married. Ive been married. I never wanna do that again. I was married to a narcissist cheater for almost 10yrs/12yr relationship. He got my best friend pregnant so that was the last straw. (Had two kids with him.) Now I’ve been with my current boyfriend for almost 5yrs and I have two kids with him(have 4 now) im ok with never getting married again. I’ll be 34 my boyfriend is o ly 29. He’s ok with it. He’s never been. But if that is something you want then don’t settle for less than you want.
I always wanted a wedding, but I’ve been married and divorced now 3 times because guys just want to use you. Divorce is more expensive and I’m in a relationship right now but I’m honestly scared to think about marriage again. Weddings are expensive and involve family then if something fails again…divorce is expensive. I am pro marriage but the right cards have to be dealt.
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If that’s something you want it might be best to leave and find someone else. You are still very early in the relationship and he is letting you know now how things are going to be.
You say you have only been with few months I would wait and see how it goes .you can’t push for marriage if he doesn’t want too .same as having baby I would give you both time b,fore thinking of having a baby xx
My husband finally agreed to marriage after 3 kids, buying a house, buying vehicle, and 8 years together. It’s just a piece of paper honestly.
Grounds for leaving. I was in the medical field. It is not just a peice of paper and people who say that wake up and go to work everyday for “just a peice of paper” so I don’t like it
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I never wanted to get married either because I didn’t wanna be stuck with someone but my husband talked me into it now I regret it and I’m stuck. Marriage is just a legal contract binding you and him together. If yall love each other that should be enough… If he doesn’t want to get married then don’t force him. Go find someone that does want to be married and live your happily ever after. That way nobody in the relationship has to sacrifice. Plus marriage isn’t all what its cracked up to be anyway.
I feel differently then some people about marriage. I married highschool boyfriend at 17yrs old. Our 4 month old baby girl was there 
Anyway we were married 20yrs and had another daughter around 23yrs old. It was an aweful marriage. He was a narcissist and an alcoholic. He was verbally, physically and emotionally abusive. I have been diagnosed as having PTSD after divorce. Anyway I vowed to never marry again as I would never want a man to have that much control over me again. Well then I met this guy, we started as friends and over the course of a year it became more. He knew how I felt about marriage as he was present at the end of marriage and divorce and he witnessed the abuse. This new man took it very slow with me and went at my pace, fast forward 2yrs and he surprised me on way to Six Flags and asked me to marry him. And I said Yes before anything could stop me lol. He is so different from ex, I never experienced what real love and friendship felt like and I knew it meant alot to him to get married. People do change their minds and to me aside from the legal stuff marriage is my way of saying I want to be with you for the rest of my life and I am so happy that I did say yes. It is the best decision I have made.
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Omg so much here is screaming blind desaster. I really am not being mean Hon, but stop and think. Why did you introduce your kids to your boyfriend so soon? And they “love” him. So they are attached and it’s only been a few months. It takes sooo much longer for you to get to know your man let alone your kids. There is so much that could go south… You could find out something about him that is a complete deal breaker… The likelihood of you all breaking up in the first few months is so high. Secondly YOU DO NOT NEED A CHILD TO PROVE YOU ARE IN A LOVING DEDICATED RELATIONSHIP, ESPECIALLY WITH SOMEONE YOU BARELY KNOW. There are already enough children and honestly you seem like you have a lot of growing up and maturing to do before taking any big steps here.
Only been together for a couple of months give it time
I was that person and I truly feel as if I only was to protect myself. I’m 3.5 years divorced. Was on my own with a 3 month old. I’ll be honest I was in a year “relationship” with a guy after and we never used the words I love you, relationship, boyfriend & girlfriend or any of it even though we was full on living together. It ended terribly mainly because of how damaged I already was. A little soul searching and 2 years after that I find myself waking up everyday with the love of my life expecting our new bundle of joy. Something I always said id NEVER do AGAIN. If he’s the one, it’ll all work out love. Chin up and don’t let stuff like this get in your head because that’s only a recipe for heart ache. Keep a positive attitude about it for sure, if he doesn’t wanna marry you someone will💛
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Young one - you’ve answered yourself “ Do I Compromise “ what do you feel you deserve
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My husband was dead set on NEVER EVER getting married again. I told him that’s fine…but I want the ceremony. Screw the peice of paper!! Right before the ceremony he took me to sign the legal paperwork. To this day I would have been fine with not legally being married.
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It’s only been a few month, don’t rush.
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My bf says the same thing. So we are gonna haven’t fake wedding. I still get to wear a dress and have a party. Lmao. We’ve been together 10 years. He was once married and I have never been married. Just gotta talk it out.
He could still be paying off this wedding or hayes the sheer thought of the debt that comes with it… maybe down the line he might feel different
Could you guys find a compromise based on what your individual wants and needs are? Like would either of you consider an non legally recognized ceremony? Stuff like that.
This woman needs to take a grammar class. Which children does he adore? His or her’s or both? The man is being upfront about his future and either she accepts it or she moves on. She will not change him unless he wants to be changed. There are pros and cons to getting married. A marriage license is just a piece of paper but it comes with benefits and commitment. In my opinion, dating for a few months and thinking about marriage is ridiculous expecially when both individuals have children from previous relationships. Screwing up your own life is one thing, screwing up the lives and security of children is just wrong. The woman doesn’t reveal if other people are involved in this mix, i.e. the other parents of the five children.
You gotta weigh how important it is to you. Resentment doesn’t need ANY room to grow. Not 1 millimeter.
Be married without paying the state for that price of paper. That paper doesn’t make a marriage. Just do a ceremony…
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If he truly loves you and wants to be with you he will change his mind! But give it time it’s only been a few months
Go find someone who wants to be married
Tell him you’re a member of Mama’s Uncut. He’ll be so glad that you’re not circumcised, that his attitude will improve.
I would think if someone loves you and wants to have you in his life for good that he would want to get married. If he doesn’t than he isn’t sure about his life with you
Hes cheating and its easier to break off!
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