Some back story, I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We have an infant son together. I have a 10 year old son full time and he has a 3 year old son every other week from previous relationships. We parent well together I think. We both work. Our son was a big surprise thrown into the mix but we both handled it well and accepted this is our crazy life now.Here is the issue. My bfs ex LOATHS me. I have given her no valid reason. Other than the fact she is insanely jealous of me. She has taken my bf to court to try and not have me move in, has tried to take the child they share away out of sheer jealously. Using him like a pawn constantly. She sends pictures of them together with captions…look how happy he was as a baby. They were never married also. An example: I got covid at the end of my already high risk pregnancy and due to complications on other things had to deliver my baby early. Because her son also contracted it (he ran a fever for two days…that was it) I was a unfit and unsafe mother whom could not be trusted to keep her child safe and healthy (I babysit during my bed rest and maturity leave) she tried demanding me not watch him ever again (Bf still allowed me). The list goes on and on with the crazy things she says and does. She accuses my 10 year old of hurting her 3 year old. They get along amazingly. Not a question in my mind if my son is mean because he is just simply put…not. She throws in my bfs face something about me or my oldest every week almost. Some new issue ALL the time. The latest and the last straw happened last night. During their switch off. She is accusing me of spanking and hurting their son. Said the 3 year old told her I spanked him because he got introuble. When you ask the child, he will literally tell you I did this. I have NEVER laid a finger on that boy. Not once, not almost. Like…NEVER. My bf randomly asked me while we laid in bed last night if I ever had. I of course said no of course not. He then tells me he asked his son privately away from everyone hours after he was told by the mom and he has said I had. I continued to defend myself and my bf seemed to belive me at this point. I started crying because I am just SO tired of this ya’ll. I can’t win. I thought I had thick skin but this has really hurt me and got to me bad. What do I even do? I sent a huge message to my bf today to explain to him that I understand his sons safety comes first but at the same time, to potentially doubt me like that hurt pretty bad. It isn’t like this is new news with her. It is always some drama. I told him, me expressing my feelings is a build up of all of this from her ex. That I’m just tired of always getting blamed for everything and being the bad guy and I felt she was trying to plant seeds of doubt in his head. (He is working and I won’t know just response until we are home later. In the past he says to ignore her and I have for the most part but when does the line get drawn? Does it ever get better? Do I just suck it up and deal with it like I have been? How does even defend themselves on this. You can’t communicate with her. She is right and whomever is against her is wrong. I’ve witnessed arguments with her friends and my bf before. She is impossible to deal with. I guess I’m just venting but I feel really defeated today…
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriends ex loathes me and I am tired of it
If your bf doesnt have ur back its time to move on.
Nope , it doesn’t get better when dealing with exes like that . I had to deal with my hubbys ex ALL THROUGHOUT my pregnancy to the point it made me miserable. She told me what I was allowed to and not to do around their kids IN MY VERY OWN HOUSE . It got so bad that I literally told him I packing everything of mine and moving out and he can deal with her and her crazy alone . I told him I was stepping back from her , the kids EVERYTHING as she started naming me in court . Soon as I put my foot down he put a fast end to everything with her and it got better without her butting into our relationship
Pray she finds a man who she loves more than she loved him. Honestly. It took my ex forever to stop acting a fool till he found someone. But he does need to lay the law down to her. His house is his business when his child is there as hers is hers on her own time. A spanking doesn’t qualify as a end all. My husband spanks my sons when needed, nothings said by me nor my children bio dad. She needs to get on with her life, she had a chance at one time but that times expired. Id smile in her face, tell her how much your baby an theirs look alike. How their siblings.If she can crawl under your skin, dig under hers. With that said… I’m not the best person to listen to, I advise my friends on hard days to go through a hoe phase so… take it as u can girl! Best wishes
I would completely stop dealing with her. Let your boyfriend handle it and tell him you don’t want to hear about it especially if he believes what she says. Also tell him if he doesn’t trust you with his son then you just won’t watch him anymore. I doubt it will get better so you either have to leave or ignore it.
Put the kid into play therapy. A therapist can work out if child is being coached or abused. They can also help weigh in alot if you have to go back to court. It’ll give you peace of mind that if she reports you there was already someone who has been working with the child and can shut the accusations down.
Also couples therapy as he clearly let’s her comments have weight.
She’s jealous and causing trouble but he is listening.
The questions that should have been asked are if mummy told you to say bonus mummy hurt you
I’d honestly just leave at this point. My boyfriends mom is like this and at times I feel my sanity leaving. I often wish I could gather the bravery to just walk away and I have my reasons why I haven’t although nothing is more important than you and your mental health.
“My boyfriends ex loathes me and I am tired of it” is not a question and your pettiness is so juvenile, it cannot be taken seriously. What are you, 12? Maybe someday when you grow up, you can take charge of your own life. Move the family several states away, no more ex-nonsense.
Save yourself the aggravation and just go.
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The admin posted it like that first of all. NOT the original poster. Second, you can’t just up and move states when children and court orders with custody agreements are in place. This is a place for people to vent and/or ask advice. Why reply to a post when children are obviously involved and a mom is obviously venting about a situation with terrible uneducated advice?? What are you, 12?
Boring…and one sided, …they weren’t married, your not married, …see a trend here…
Just keep doing right by your man and his child, yours as well, and anything she tries to do will be proven against her. I don’t get women like this.
She’s jealous period. My ex husbands wife is exactly like this but like a million times more insecure. She won’t get better. You have to give it no mind. Pay no attention. You can’t care what she thinks of you. Why would you? She’s jealous of everything you are and everything you have. She’s fighting a personal war. It seriously has nothing to do with you. Keep shining. Keep being amazing and wonderful.
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Tough. She. Needs. To. Suck. It. Up
My husband and his ex wife haven’t been together since 2013. We met in 2008 and married in 2009. She is beyond jealous and does spiteful, manipulative sh** out of jealousy as well. She has went as far as to accuse my husband of being abusive (no proof at all!!!) CPS, the school and the police have all seen and stated she is the problem, but because she has the best lawyer in the county that no one will go up against and a bias, corrupt judge he went from 50/50 to 3 hrs every other sat, even on holidays. We live in the neighboring state (maybe 30 to 45 mins away) and she made it so he can’t bring him to our home and we get no overnights, vacations etc. All because she can’t stand that my stepson loves me and his step siblings and dad. She has used him as a pawn and doesn’t actually care at all the hurt/damage she is doing. My step sons counselors records even show my stepson has no problem with dad but mom’s boyfriend they live with and NO ONE will listen. We have even went to the judicial commission. She takes us to court constantly bc we always lose, she always wins and we have to pay her lawyer so why wouldn’t she right?! Corrupt ass system! Good luck, lawyer up with the best one you can find! My husband pays 50% of his income for one child even though legally it’s supposed to be 17%, thanks to the corrupt system. He has to give his entire life insurance policy to their son and nothing for me, his wife. It goes on and on! She doesn’t work and refuses to and drives a new 2022 Lincoln suv, os on government assistance and her boyfriend pays everything else. Ridiculous and the worst part…my step son has no friends, is homeschooled and only has his mom, her boyfriend and her mom, dad and brother. Everyone else in his life he grew up knowing and loving…she has cut out. He is isolated completely.
Sounds like an impossible situation. Sorry this is happening. I feel like the best defense here is for you and bf to stick together and fight hate with love. Love each other so deeply and stick together at all costs. Do not entertain exes shenanigans. Eventually, the ex will become exhausted. Also, it seems like a long time off, but the 3 yo will grow and see for himself what is happening.
I like the mother coached the child to tell his father you did it. You now have a child with this man. He either believes you or he doesnt. Just keep doing you and be the bigger person. Yes she will always be this way but if the father can’t see through this then how can you make it work? You can’t stop her but as you can see nothing she’s done has worked, so just keep moving forward. Grey rock her. Cleat communication with your partner. The little one is only doing what mommy told him to. Hopefully she doesn’t make him do much more and if it gets worse your partner needs to file for more custody bc it’s not healthy for the child. But it is what it is.