I am in a relationship with a man. We have been together a few months. We are great together very happy and in love. He’s great with my kids and they adore him. The problem we have is with one of his friends. He’s very disrespectful and rude to me. My boyfriend doesn’t see it and just says I read into everything too much. I love him with my heart and soul but cannot keep going on like this. I need advice. Is it worth working through this problem or should I walk now?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriends friend is always rude to me: Advice?
What does he do that’s rude?
If he’s not sticking up for you now, he never will.
Tell his friend he needs to chill out flat out don’t let him disrespect you period!
Kill 'em with kindness. In the end his true colors will show.
Worry about you,your partner and little family,NOT whose on the outside or it will cause problems.Could be a bit of jealousy from the friend of there close which can be common.I would distance from the friend when and where possible but always be polite and not be alone with him.
You’ve voiced your concerns to your partner so leave it at that or it will cause issues
Put that mfer in his place
Check his ass when he crosses a line set clear boundaries with him and frankly anyone in your life
Walk. It only gets worse from here
Put him in his place yourself. Simple solution.
Maybe call this rude friend out in front of your boyfriend.The next time he disrespects you say something right then in there.nomatter where you are or who is around.Then maybe he will stop because you blasted him and made him look like the jerk he is.If it continues after that and your boyfriend doesn’t step in then f**k him too.
If he truly cares for you. Don’t let him disrespect you.
Firstly, my guess is the friend may think you’ve stolen his best mate
2ndly if the bf can’t see this then he won’t day anything to him… as others have said b4, put him in his place.
Tell him the way he treats you is rude and disrespectful, not only to you n your kids but to your bf.
You’re not trying to steal him away, he has to share him now n if he doesn’t like that then play his own game with him…be rude obnoxious n arrogant to the friend
Your problem is with HIS friend, not him.
His friend is jealous
It’s not a we problem. Its his problem. Put him in his place
Put the friend in his place yourself. If your boyfriend sticks up for his friend, you’ll know it’s time to walk.
There’s a lot of information missing and I’ve got to wonder why. I think if you’re thinking you can’t deal with this already after a few months then just break up. Why waste time.
Just stand up for and if the bf don’t like it he should have stood up for you
I’m more concerned having the kids around a stranger after only a few months. Maybe take more time to get to know someone and see how they treat you around others
Say something yo the friend. Tell him your not going to tolerate it anymore.
If he was a man and really lived you he would say something to the guy and stick up for you. He may great with the kids but I would tell him 1) either you say something to the guy OR
2) I’m walking away ,!!!
A few months is not very long if you have any problems now just wait 6 months later
If people are rude to me, I address them. Very simple solution to your situation love, be direct with him. Personally, I can’t stand passive aggressive people… be direct or get punched around here lol
I would literally just call him out one day… like bruh why you so fucking rude?? Like what is it?? It might just be who he is or might not know he’s doing anything
Nawww your man needs to handle that and if he doesn’t then dump his ass because he’s the bitch of his friend group lmao.
I would also be a cunt back to said friend because I don’t allow anybody to treat me badly boyfriend’s friend or not lol…
Be rude and disrespectful back.
Just walk now. After only a few months your whole heart and soul will be just fine.
Tell your bf you won’t hang out with his rude friend and that he isn’t allowed in your home. He’s allowed his friends but they don’t have to be your friends too. Just create that space between you & him.
Just avoid the friend. Not everyone is meant to get along.
As a adult you need to discuss this let his friend know that you do not appreciate being treated like this and if he has a problem with you to have a conversation like an adult you boyfriend seems not to care much about you if he doesn’t even think that’s the case if I felt in anyway disrespected or talked rude too trust me my husband would say something think about it
Get a new one! Seriously life’s too short to be anything but happy and loved
When my husbands friend made a rude comment about me, he threw him up against a wall and choked him until he apologized. My man does not play and neither do I. Your man needs to do better. Otherwise, I’d be saying something about it to the friend directly.
Why you do not stand for yourself and say something to the friend?
If your bf knows and do nothing about it, maybe he likes his friend more than you .
Stand up for yourself? Your boyfriend can’t fight your battles for you against other people you have to do it yourself. Also you’re in the lust stage you can’t fall in love with someone after a few months. And if you are ready to give up your relationship just because of his friend then you really aren’t in love like you think. Just stand up for yourself
Don’t spend time with his rude friend. Let him have time with that friend without you.
I’d need to know what he’s doing exactly to give advice
Pay attention to those red flags, as you have. Nothing is worse than potentially having your kids see you disrespected…and your partner allowing it. He may not be worth it.
How is he rude and disrespectful to you and your boyfriend doesn’t see it?! What does he do/say that you think is rude and disrespectful?
Too much missing information.
Tell his friend to F#ck off
Men don’t let him disrespect you girl tell him off hell. Nah … my dudes friend would to that to me I will straight tell him either you S the F up or I will make you my dude
Don’t YOU let anyone disrespect you for any reason!
Stand up to the friend. If boyfriend doesn’t take your side. Walk
A few months and your in love?
A few months and kids are involved?
The friend isn’t the biggest issue.
If he doesn’t see it, there’s nothing wrong with setting boundaries with the friend, and having a conversation. If, at that point, things escalate, talk to your bf again. If he refuses to put his friend in line, then yeah you could bail. But girl, you have a mouth to communicate. Use it, and be honest and direct with the friend first. Then see what happens.
I’d confront the friend and put my foot down. He doesn’t have to like you, but he’s not going to disrespect you. And same for your BF. If he’s going to allow someone to disrespect you, ya gotta go! Eventually he will do the same to you since you put up with it from other people.
You’re in love with someone you only known a few months. You sound like a 12 yr old . That’s first problem. Second. You’re blind . The friend likes you and wants to be with you. Third if your “boyfriend” who loves you so much can’t see it . Maybe he don’t love you like you think.
So you great happy and in love. But he is rude to you?
What do you really think about this situation By the way it sounds it might not be acceptable to you. Do you want to work it out or just ask his friend that he needs to change his attitude. Your choice
Just dont hang out with that friend. He can but you dont have to. Ask him of he can hang with him outside the house. Come up woth a better solution. If you truly love the man find a way to fix it girl. Talk to him more about it. Express that your peace cant be in the room with him ect… Good luck. Stay calm and speak your truth. Stand up for yourself. Maybe you can come up with a win win.
You have way more issues with yourself to be worried about his friend!! In love probably not in lust maybe!! Bring your kids around that fast is just gross
Fuckers like this end up filling people’s heads with bullshit and usually the target doesn’t see it
I’d cuss his friend tf out. You dish out disrespect, be ready to accept it as well.
Talk to him if it’s not corrected walk
Tell the guy what you think
I don’t think it’s your boyfriends fault as he obviously doesn’t know much and that’s why he thinks you’re exaggerating maybe you haven’t told him enough ? Or maybe because he’s known his friend so long he’s finiding it hard not to believe you ? As harsh as that sounds the friend is the only one to blame in this situation I would confront him and maybe record it for evidence in case he tries to deny it or even call him out while your boyfriend is there. How your boyfriend reacts after he’s seen or heard it for himself will define what kind of man he is.
There’s your answer…
If your boyfriend sees there’s nothing wrong with it then number one he will never defend you and there’s a possibility he’ll end up treating you the same way birds of a feather you know
Slow. Down. That is my advice.
I’d definitely be saying something to the friend. Your man might not see it. But your allowed to stand up for yourself
Id just tell him that the guy is disrespecting you and in turn he’s disrespecting him. And that if he won’t stop it you will, and the next time the big mouth does it I’d tell him that you are a lady and are to be treated as such. If he doesn’t like it then you want nothing to do with him. That your man respects you and in turn he needs to as well.
Maybe the guy is jealous of you and your bf? I’d personally check him on it but it is possible.
Be rude back and a nice -nasty kinda way!!!
Tell your boyfriend to tell him ,if he don’t dump them both nobody is above my woman.nobody.
If boyfriend says he doesn’t see it, you ought to walk now.
You don’t even know your boyfriend well enough to know what he will do in a situation like this… yet your children are around him. This should be the main concern. Get to know someone before you introduce them to your kids.
If he doesn’t see his friend being rude, he never will.
What did he say though? That’s the key in knowing if it was truly disrespectful or if you may just be sensitive to certain people’s way of speaking. For example I always worked with men and in shops so i can handle a lot more coming out of a guys mouth and actually find the humour in it where some women who aren’t used to that kind of talk could take it the wrong way. All depends what was said, in what context and tone. I would just call the friend out right when he does it and see how it plays out from there. Some people truly dont mean to offend and once they are aware that it hurt you they will stop. At that point you can also see your bfs reactions.
I’d flip on the friend and however the chips may fall will happen… I’m not here to worry about feelings I do not care who you are… so if you feel disrespected, handle it queen!
You said you’re in a relationship with a man. But a real MAN would stick up for his woman. No ifs and or buts. If you say it bothers you that should be all he needs to hear to confront the situation.
I would give it right back to the friend and see his reaction along with the bfs, then I would go from there. Old saying is don’t dish it out if you can’t take it!! If you think he’s being disrespectful instead of a joking manner on what he’s saying to you then give it back to the friend an see how he likes it. 2 can play the game!!!
Put your foot down. Don’t allow anyone to talk to you like that…no one.
Makes him feel powerful.
Keep ur man. Treat his rude friend the same way he treats you and avoid him. Don’t break ur relationship for someone who represents nothing to u.
How is he rude? He could just be treating you like one of the dudes, or testing you, or maybe he is jealous and likes you…
Speak up to said friend. You have a voice, use it!!! Plus you don’t have to be around this person. If bf brings the friend around, leave. If it continues, bf has no respect for you and it’s time to leave.
Any examples of disrespect? Are you around his friend often while the guys hang out amongst themselves? Do you have to interact with his friend? It may just be as easy as keeping it on a “Hello/goodbye” basis, especially because it’s your hubby’s friend anyway, and not really yours.
Red flag. If he won’t defend you now he never will
Have you fort about in voting his friend over and having a car convosashio with him about it he might not realise he being rude some guys don’t and if that don’t work remember u don’t go out with his friend so u don’t need to deal with him be polite and if I u I just choose when ever possible to not assault with the guy ur boyfriend want to go out with him kl u go out with ur friend meet up with ur boyfriend after just coz u to gether doesn’t mean u need to be friend with who they like
I’d put that friend in his place.
You let your guy know you feel disrespected by his friend. It doesn’t matter if he agrees with you or not he should tell the friend to treat you better. I would definitely call out the friend yourself next time it happens.
You’re not in a relationship with a MAN. A MAN would take his woman’s feelings into consideration. Just because it doesn’t affect him directly, doesn’t mean it shouldn’t affect him because it affects you.
Although, if I were you, I wouldn’t wait for your man to notice or speak up. I’d call the friend out in the moment, in front of your boyfriend, so it can’t be denied. Put your foot down now, or it’ll never stop.
Figure it out…cause u women nowadays don’t have many options past the age of 30…at least not options offering more than dic
Put your foot down I did that with my mans friend . I snapped at him an said hey I don’t appreciate how you speak with me it seems disrespectful! You have to respect me I am your friends girl not some person on the street.
would tell the friend to stop being rude to you
Speak up too the friend,ask him why he’s so rude?
So he’s wonderful but he is blind to someone treating you bad… huge red flag
If you feel you are being disrespected then you are being disrespected. You aren’t in a relationship with a man if you’ve brought it up to him and he doesn’t say anything to his friend; that’s a little bit of a red flag; however, you are also your own person. The next time he says or does something disrespectful, call him out on it. “So&So, why do you feel that was appropriate?” or “Can you honestly tell me why you feel the need to be rude?” hold him accountable for his actions even if no one else does, you owe it to yourself to do so. I know it may seem a little unconventional, but sometimes it’s what you need- Look at your kids and imagine them coming to you with this same problem, what advice would you give them? Now that you know what advice you’d give them, take that advice and run with it.
His probably jealous of your relationship I had the same with my partners friend ,then he tried it on with me. your bf is prob in denile and doesn’t want to believe it .they don’t like to lose mates, us women can just ghost a friend is they do wrong.
It’s been a few months
No tell the friend off
I agree with Misty Perry Barker
Some real man haters out there if you don’t like the guy don’t go around him if he’s disrespectful tell him shut his pie hole if your reading to much into it and your wrong so be it friend get pissed boyfriend gets pissed and their gone problem solved
Your in relationship with him so just grow up and ignore the friend
Never mind the rude friend. He should be the least of your concerns.
Why in the world have you introduced your kids to a man you’ve been seeing for only a few months?
At this point in time, you have no idea if the relationship will last, your kids “adore” him, you say.
So how will they feel if you decide to leave the relationship?
I had this situation before honey. I puty mf foot down and I let it be known that I don’t care if y’all stay best friends but I tell my man your friend is no longer welcome In my home. You and this best friend can hang out somewhere else. Because I refuse to be uncomfortable/disrespected in my own home.
He should stand up for you not his friend ok
When he’s rude or disrespectful stop his ass on the spot yourself if your man doesn’t step in walk.
A few months and your kids adore him? They shouldn’t even know him yet. Obviously you don’t either! He should stand up for you no matter what ! He is a stranger still .good luck!