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QUESTION:
"My daughter has moments with a lot of her family where she won’t talk to them and blocks them out, acting shy no matter how much they are around or not. The pediatrician recommended speech therapy but I'm not sure how it will help. but, on another note, stepmom gets so upset about her not talking to her or saying hi or bye that she even goes to the extent of saying "No you can’t have chips and dip because you won’t say hi to me. I’m going to treat you the way you treat me!!!" My daughter is 4. Sm says it with an attitude and "I know you say she does this with other people but she knows better." I’m at a loss in what to do!! Please help"
RELATED: My 3-Year-Old Nephew Doesn’t Talk: Should We Be Concerned?
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"I would get a second opinion from another doctor and see what they recommend. She may need speech therapy, maybe there’s another issue going on so I'd get another opinion and go from there. As far as the mother in law… she has a little kid mentality. Your daughter is 4, she is not so for her to say “I’ll treat you how you treat me” or tell her she can’t eat because she didn’t say hi is ridiculous. She should be the bigger person and say hi first, she should be the one to ask her if she’s okay, or what’s wrong. I would tell her you're taking her to a doctor for it to see what you can do to help and in the meantime… she needs to lay off."
"Ehhhh…This is kind of a hard one. Does she actually have a speech delay? If so why wasn’t she in speech therapy before now (usually recommended at 2)? Does she have any other diagnosis? What is the context of her not talking to others (is it simply saying hi or bye…is it because they’ve asked her to do or not do something)? Does she just not talk to them? Or does she actively ignore them? Does she have this behavior at home? I’ve got a 4-year-old. He has a speech delay, sensory processing disorder, and ADHD…But sometimes he does just simply have an attitude because he’s 4. The best thing I could suggest is to figure out why your child stops talking…And then address it accordingly…and give stepmom tips to make the situation better along the way. Obviously what she’s doing isn’t making the situation better, but she may just not actually know better. If she’s not a total witch of a person she’ll hear you out and use the suggestions you give her to help improve the situation."
"My little sister had this same problem she started speech therapy at age 5 its helped so much. Distance yourself and your daughter from bf stepmom she’s going to cause her extra anxiety and stress. No good will come from her."
"I have a 3-year-old stepdaughter who still does this to me and I’ve been with her dad 2.5 years! She just is a shy kid and once she warms up it’s all fine! Definitely don’t force the child or make the child feel bad! Always remember children are a good judge of character and she’s just analyzing the situation"
"I wouldn't let her around my kid acting like that …sounds like she's the one who needs to grow up …lord have mercy that's got me mad and it's not even my kid poor baby I wouldn't want to talk to her either"
"Look into Selective Mutism"
"Speech therapy will help the selective mutism so much - adults pressuring the child to speak will not help, it’ll make it much worse."
"She could also have anxiety however try the speech therapy but that lady has to grow tf up. I wouldn’t even waste my time around her. You child deserve better."
"The stepmom needs to be corrected. Just because a child does not talk to you does not mean you deny things. My son is 3 and he’s very shy around people, even family members he hasn’t seen in a while. Once he’s been around people for a while, he warms up and relaxes."
"Stop taking your child over there. Follow the Pediatricians recommendation for speech therapy or take her to some type of interventionist. She’s 4 and she will be starting school soon. You should try to figure out what’s going on ASAP."
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