I have a brother in law that thinks he is better than everyone else or acts like he is entitled to everything. Yesterday, he messaged me and was complaining about how we didn’t mow mine in the law’s yard. My husband was fixing a few things wrong with the truck, so he didn’t get around to do it. Then, my brother-in-law accused me of leaving his parent’s house dirty by leaving crumbs on the floor because apparently, my children did that, which is a lie because I clean up their messes(food, toys, etc.). And he wanted to go further with the drama and accuse us of constantly borrowing money. I don’t ever borrow money from my in-laws; it is mostly my husband’s doing, and I told him thousands of times to stop doing it because it was literally putting us in debt! Am I wrong for getting upset and wanting to avoid the drama? Am I in the wrong for wanting to move? We need to figure something out, or we will end up divorced!!! Any suggestions would be helpful; thank you!
Sounds like he needs to be cut off
I have an in law like this, always messaging just to cause drama. I eventually told them if they had an issue they know where I live and I’m happy to sort it out out the front. They blocked me and now I don’t have any problems 
I take it that this is your husband brother? Why can’t he mow for his parents if your husband was busy??
Tell ur brother in law to F off… cheeky sod… tell him to get off his arse and mow his mother’s lawn. Dont stand for that rubbish… ur not married to him so don’t take his crap hun.
Funny how the person that accuses others of drama…are the most drama laden people on the planet.
Is he married and his wife also lives in the same household? Are your in-laws favoring you, your husband and your kids more?
I mean it’s as simple as just ignoring him.
Let your husband deal with his family
I’d block him. He sounds childish and toxic AF! He’ll no. Put an end to that and move on. If your in laws don’t complain to you or the hubby, I’d send him a quick little message saying to leave me out of his bullshit and to mind his own business. If he mouths off in any way or can’t contain himself; block him on your phone and all social media. That’s the end of that!
You need to move out on your own. Before that, block his brother on everything. I will say this, it could be the parents complaining to the brother and that’s why he is lashing out. One thing that stood out to me is that you said you don’t borrow money from your in laws- your husband does. That is still both of you it’s going to. Regardless it is none of the brother’s business unless your in laws are venting to him about it. None of this will stop until you both save up enough and move out.
Tell him to mind his own business
That sounds like a swell family there (your in laws). So your parent in laws are letting you live there but running and telling their other son everything your husband and you do, and instead of confronting his brother he confronts you? Yeah I’d want to move too. I hope you can avoid divorce, but don’t avoid it just for the sake of avoiding it.
I’d speak to you in laws. Where did the brother in law get the info of you leaving the house a mess and how does he know you or even you husband is borrowing money. Sounds to me the parents in law are feeding him shit hoping he will tell yous so they don’t have to be the bad guys.
Sounds like maybe his parents are complaining to him and he is trying to look out for them putting him in the middle. I would talk directly to them. If your husband is borrowing money from them, that includes you.
Sounds like the brother in law is an instigator…maybe slightly narcissistic?
…what do your in-laws say…that’s what really matters…also sitting down with your husband and talking with him, setting boundaries etc… you’re not wrong in feeling fed up. Just sit down with the in laws and husband…things will work out 
Tell him to stop bothering you about it and if he doesn’t stop block his number.
Also, if you are living with your in-laws it’s time to move out. Tell your in-laws to stop borrowing money to your husband. If they continue to do so, then they are just enabling your husband’s co-dependence on them and it’s time for you to move on.
Sounds like hubby is the golden child - can never do any wrong - and BIL gets blamed for all kinds of crap.
I’d tell him look, you’re not my brother. If you have a problem call your brother. I’d ask him if he is scared to talk to his brother about it. Why else would he be talking to his brothers wife about it? Sounds like a bored coward because that’s not a mans behavior.
The brother in law has no business In what you do and do not do with your spouse or inlaws period.
But you must understand this, if your husband is borrowing money from them that’s your responsibility too. You removing yourself from that fact is quite immature on your part.
Best to stand on yr own feet then IF you are living with yr in laws ? Perhaps his parents said something and the brother in law is just speaking up ? Yr hubby shouldn’t constany borrow money why does he ? It’s hard when people with children live with others esp if it’s not yr house they may have diff standards, rules and they may find it stressful ,any way AS I SAID IF you live with yr in laws it’s a difficult situation because it’s not yr home .
Tell him to mind his business and just block him don’t feed into it. Tell your husband to take care of it. However why is mom and dad an ATM is it really needed? Talk to your husband again about the situation. Not sure if you live with them or was just visiting but of u do live with them you all need to find your own place.
Oh, tell him to f off and mind his own business. Gey your husband in chexk fir borrowing, but if your BIL starts his carry on, hang up the phone on him. Tell him you are nit going to be drawn into his nonsense, and until he can speak to you reasonably, he will receive the same treatment. Do not engage.
It sounds like your BIL is being passive aggressive. He is probably annoyed at him for being dependent on your parents, maybe this was a theme growing up and he’s just “over it”. He probably feels like your husband should be able to support his own family and that his parents are being taken advantage of. While it’s not REALLY his business, I can understand his sentiments… at some point the roles are meant to reverse and the adult children take care of their parents. You and your husband need to have a talk about becoming more independent. Hopefully your husbands plan isn’t to just live with his parents and inherit the house when they die/or can’t live there anymore.
Sounds like you may be living with the in-laws, if so than it’s time to move on with or without the hubby. Your hubby borrowing money is kind of on you as well since you’re married to him, and probably benefiting from the money as well. As far as the mess goes, you say you clean up after the kids, maybe you do, but not to the BIL’s standards. He needs to mind his own business, but than again maybe he feels he needs to speak up cuz he sees his brother taking advantage of their parents. I can see both sides tbh. Why would a grown man want to borrow money from the parents? I sure wouldn’t want to. We still have grown kids living at home as well, but nobody borrows money from us, and the son with kids who lives with us now cause of this covid crap, cleans up their own mess, maybe not always to my liking, but at least I don’t have to do it. It’s called respecting each other. Tell the hubby to quit borrowing money and grow up, get a job if he’s not working or if he is than get a better one or a second job, or you can get a job if you’re not working, or cut back on spending, anything you have to do so the parents aren’t supporting your butts, cuz that’s what they’re doing. Instead of complaining, do something that’s going to help out. Next time tell your BIL to talk to his brother as well.
Tell your bil to mind his own business. If hubby wont respect you asking to borrow money ask the in laws to quit loaning it out.
I’m more concerned with why your husband, a grown ass man, is so dependent on your parents. It’s one thing needing a helping hand. Moving in, or borrowing money is okay if you really need it, but why would a grown man with a family need to move in & constantly borrow money too??? Does he not work? What do his parents say? I get your anger is toward your brother-in-law but it seems to me that it should be toward your husband. I can’t see a marriage like this lasting (in a healthy way) with somebody like that.
Well first off. The money your husband borrows may be a huge building issue. I’d suggest you talk to your in laws about it. But the brother in law may just have you feeling insecure. Sounds kinda like you married into family drama.
Tell him that you are doing the best that you can and he needs to stop pointing the finger at you when he sees they need help he should offer his help not just plan for everyone else to help.
Tell your brother in law to MYOB…then ignore his drama…
tell him to file complaints with his brother and do not answer his e-mails,phone calls,messages–delete immed without reading
Sounds like the brothers need to talk and you are stuck in the middle.
Next call hand the phone to your husband and walk away
I’m, tell him to mind his own and ignore his asss
tell him to do it himself if its so bothersome
Your husband needs to stop borrowing money. Time to move.
Why isn’t he complaining to his brother?
Sounds like the brother in law is a twisty prick…I’d be long gone
Your best to MOVE OUT ASAP!!! And don’t look back
You need your own place.
Runnnnnnnnnnn then block delete
Sounds like she should be having a word with her husband and not blaming the brother in law for a drama they are probably causing. Taking it out on your brother in law wont make your husband learn any lessons, it might make you feel better for a little but but your husband will soon cause stress again somewhere and you will be left dealing with it again and again.
He used to be top dog of the house (pathetic, considering he’s also a grown man living with in laws? Like what’s there to brag about?). He should be the one to grow up. If the in law parents are nice, I would talk to them so they can parent their baby son! And get your financials together so you can hopefully move out soon. Your husband needs to grow up too. Wow. Seems like the boys of that household need some growing to do.
Ask your parents in law if there’s any way you can help more or if there’s owt bothering them?
Give him shit , point out why he should care over little mess he probably won’t clean also. Your pretty much doing chores for everyone in the household while he sits n complaints to the in-laws about starting b.s like a teenager. I went through that shit and moved out then the in-laws realize I did my part . Now I have my own place and rules . You can put your foot down for your mini family . He don’t like it he can set his tantrum elsewhere.
There is definitely much more to this story…it went from crumbs, to them moving out of town.
How can you get coaching if the whole story (it’s about money, somewhere in there) isn’t being fully told.
Your brother in law should be voicing his opinion with his brother not you, and u and your husband need to have more communication with the parents and find out if thats how they feel. If so address the problems.
How will you end up divorced because of your BIL?
Sounds like it is time to move. And if your Husband doesn’t agree, perhaps it’s time to move on.
Wow! She asked for advice and this is what you two commenters come up with? Lol 
I might be the only one that looks at it this way but…if your husband is borrowing money then you are both borrowing money cause y’all are married? also, I can’t pick up every mess my child makes so like maybe you missed something? and did your husband tell your in laws he was going to mow the lawn? cause if so then he should probably step up and do it regardless of whatever else he’s doing! 
Sharing with anyone is tough especially family! You have your way of doing things which might not be how they do things… or your version of clean may not be theirs! My advice is to try and get out (I know easier said then done sometimes) before it becomes a situation where you all resent each other! Borrowing money is ok if both partners agree If he is doing it without asking you or it’s causing an issue you definitely need to speak to him!
Never live with family if you can avoid it. That’s what I’ve learned.
Feel for you. Please stop going there and he will come begging
Tell him to grow up and move out from parents
Don’t sweat the BS. If the in-laws were the ones to complain to you directly then it’d be a different story, but they didn’t, sooo… Tell the drama Queen brother in law to mind his own business.
Sux having to live with someone else, there’s nothing like freedom
Move out, move on, to many cooks in the kitchen
You do need to figure out something and the first thing to figure out is where your husband can work so that he can move you out of his parents’ home and support you and his children without having to constantly borrow from his parents.
It sounds like he’s an immature little boy.
You already know, you need to move, and you need text your bil this response “you should text your brother”
Thousands of times? Maybe it’s the parents complaining to their son and he gets upset and calls you. Because he knows his brother😉
It time to move out .
Move. Problem solved.
Sounds like he’s trying to tell you to move. Looks like the living arrangement with his parents is not working. You admit your husband keeps borrowing money from them. Have you talked to the Parents to make sure you haven’t overstayed your welcome
What is that saying. That is so very true…" friends and family stink in 3 days".
Some in-laws cause more problems in a marriage than anything. I’d stay away from the brother-in-law as much as possible. How does the brother-in-law know about all this stuff? Probably from the mother-in-law!
Why are y’all grown enough to be married with kids but don’t have your own place? I know circumstances since COVID have been difficult for many, but there have been a BUNCH of questions on this page from ppl living with their parents or in-laws, and none of them seemed to be working out well. If the brother knows about y’all’s business in that house and he doesn’t live there, your mother/father in law are complaining about y’all and it’s time to go!
But also, the fact you are being blamed when it’s your husband not mowing and borrowing money makes it appear to me that someone is specifically throwing you under the bus for whatever reason. You need to move out. Your in laws want their own space, not to raise their kids AND grandkids longer.
I’d sit all the characters involved down (husband, and all in laws) and address it! Then no one can lie and all bad behavior is put on display. You’ll find out where you stand quickly. And as for your hubby’s money borrowing…you need to get the spending under control to curb the borrowing or you’ll never have the money to move.
Sounds like your husband needs to stand up to his brother. Your brother in law has no business calling you to complain about anything. He needs to take that up with his brother not you. Unless your in laws have personally said something to you or your husband than don’t worry about the brother in law. It is obvious he needs to be involved in some kind of drama to live a fulfilling life.
I would say he is jealous, Let it slip off your shoulder because he isn’t going to change. And don’t listen to him, don’t answer his calls .
It’s non of the brother-in-laws business. This is between your husband and his parents and he needs to make that clear to his brother. And if his parents have a problem with y’all being there they should say so. Have a talk with them to see how they feel. But the best thing is find a place of y’all own as soon as you can. Good luck
Block your brother in laws number tell him he can go through your husband if he has any issues from now on. Your in laws maybe complaining to him. Talk to them about how they feel and definitely find your own place ASAP. Kids don’t need to grow up in that negativity.
Only way for him to know that is for the in-laws to be complaining to about you all. And he feels he’s sticking up for his parents. Seen similar situations before. He probably feels your husband and you are taking advantage of his parents.
Brother is jealous. Ending up in a divorce is not answer. How about counseling. Don’t talk to him or text him. Your using divorce as an easy way. " A relationship is like a house. When a lightbulb burns out you do not go buy a new house, you fix the lightbulb. Way to much complaining.
Move! My husband and I also had family drama and still do but now we deal with it less now that we’ve moved. Best thing we ever did!
Sounds like your brother in-law is a little bitch. He doesn’t own the place, so if anyone has a problem and want to say something, it should be your in-laws, not him.
Sounds like my sister in law total bitch just cut him out your life that’s what I did
You married your husband, not his brother. I simply wouldn’t answer his calls, I’d delete the texts before even opening them and I’d literally do everything in my power to ignore to his face. If your In laws aren’t saying anything then I wouldn’t worry about it. Is the brother living with the in laws? Why didn’t the brother now the grass?
Getting divorced over your bil? Be an adult block and ignore him. He calls you cuz he knows he gets a reaction.
I have the same brother in law I hate his guts girl… the mom every one of them we literally cut them off they terrorized me my whole pregnancy they are not allowed anywhere me and my son is smh
Are you living with his parents? If so, then yes you need to move. Sounds like the brother is jealous/frustrated that your family is receiving money and extra support from his parents.
You and hubby need to get on the same page regarding borrowing money from people, especially his parents. What can you change about your financial situation to make it so you two can support your family? Is he doing his part? Y’all might want to look into some couples counseling to address how your behaviors are causing this multi family drama.
Sounds like you need to create some boundaries and tell him where to put his opinion!
He is your brother in law, not your husband or father—-you can totally block his number and reject his calls.
Ur not wrong and u need to have a serious sit down talk with ur husband
Yep. I’m done. This page has turned into nothing more than a Dear Abby column with fake material. Been fun. But, I’m out.
It sounds to me like you need to find your own place. He is probably just calling it like it is.
Refuse to engage w brother in law. Tell him to deal w his brother only…delete his messages.
The in law that caused my husband and I to almost break up and that Almost caused my husband to be dead is now dead to us for good. (MIL) his whole birth givers side tryed so hard to get my husband to leave me because I didn’t do as his family said. I’m my own person I only do me and what I’m comfortable with. Ignore them, block them, get rid of them🙌🏼
Too many question…do you live with your inlaws? If not, does the brother in law live with his parents? Why don’t the brothers talk to each other instead of you? And why aren’t the parents complaining (if they’re even complaining) to the right people?
See crumbs? Hands broke? Lift a broom or plug in a vacuum. Freaking out over stinking crumbs? For real? My daughter had a friend over and they were coloring. The friend drew on my wall. Guess what I wiped it up and moved the Frick on. Why he can’t mow the dang lawn? His legs broke? Does it have to be done that day? Can’t it wait? Live in an HOA or something. My goodness. And the debt with the parents isn’t as bad as being in debt with debt collectors. And that’s between your parents and your husband. He needs to stick his nose in a blender I swear. At some point his bs would have me going off and most definitely be trying to get the heck outta there. But seriously if his parents aren’t the ones complaining it’s not this guy’s problem.
Why make a big deal and get all huffy about it. Just ignore it 
Why isn’t he contacting/texting HIS brother?? Their his kids too?!
My favorite dismissal is, “Thank you for sharing.” Dripping sarcasm optional.