Hi, is it normal for three years olds to suddenly not want to go to nursery? He’s been going for a while now, and yeah, some days he may say he doesn’t want to go, but he’d normally happily put his coat on and walk to the nursery… But last few days, he’s fully refusing to get dressed, crying hysterically, I have to pick him up to get him out of the house and carry him all the way there, and he won’t run in the nursery like he normally does, he clings onto me and refuses, one of his favorite teachers comes out and helps him go in, but he still seems hesitant, then message me to let me know he’s been fine and when I pick him up he’s fine but in the mornings it’s a struggle! Just want to know if this is normal or should I be questioning it more? Thankyou x
That would honestly make me nervous and I would be questioning some things
i would definitely question it
It might help to go in with him for 10 or 15 minutes for a couple weeks and keep making the time shorter that you stay until he goes in calmly. That will also help you see what is going on in the room and make sure the daycare isn’t the problem
Maybe ask him if there is a reason he doesn’t want to go. Maybe one of the kids is being mean? I know it depends on each child at that age of they are able to answer a question like that, but my daughter is very verbal, and if I asked at a quiet calm time I think she would tell me.
Get a small nanny cam to clip on his backpack 
so you can see what’s going on with your son. This could potentially be a red flag 
I would be very worried.
Question it. My daughter started behavioral things and come to find out the director was abusing the children
Question it more never ignore if you have a gut feeling. My nephew who I care for does that and it just depends on the day, sometimes he goes but most of the time he screams, cries, hits and is clingy with me. But I’ve spoken to the nursery they have worked with me on ways to make him feel more comfortable. I have also had family with bad experiences with teachers being more mean to their child so it’s best to always question anything even if it’s small
I would be very worried
He’s being abused. It may not be staff. It could be another child bullying him or a parent.
I wouldn’t over think!! My daughter absolutely loved nursery she started when she was 2 she ran in every morning happy as anything telling me about her day when I oicked her up, by the age of 3 and a half she started crying and would cling onto me etc but once she wa sin there she was fine, I even use to stand at the window peeking so no one could see me to watch her and soon as she put her coat on the peg she ran off playing smiling etc…
they may go through stages he’s probably thinking I want to stay home today haha, or he might be getting sick of the same sight, I wouldn’t jump into anything bout the nursery if you’ve never had problems before tbh but speak to them see what they say see if everything’s okay, there’s no need for a body cam… because that way it will be filming other children and that won’t be allowed!
Something is happening at day care I went through the same thing until one day I got call from them because she cried historically. They said nothing happened but to this day she is 10 years old and every day we pass the place she says there is that bad place mom. How does a 3 yr old remember that.
It’s a normal three year old thing. They go through phases, my son cried going for a few weeks before Christmas and a minute later I’d get a picture of him happily playing. He was just being clingy. Then he had none for 2 months due to closures and he went back cheering 2 weeks ago, every morning he cant wait to go and is rushing me out the door.
I wouldnt stress but try make it exciting, talk about how much fun he will have, excited smiling wohooo type acting.
I would pop in during the day if possible and see what’s going on.
Trust your gut. If he’s loved it till now, something happened.
Ummm. Children go through phases. I have raised 6 children. All of them at times refused to go to school/daycare. Sometimes kids just want their mommy. It can be overwhelming being apart from you for long periods of time. Everyone is quick to jump on the daycare saying it’s abuse when it could be something as simple as you working a bit later, or being too busy after school. Evaluate all aspects of your child’s day to day before assuming abuse.
Maybe it’s the time change? I know my kids don’t handle time change well. Or he could be being bullied. Maybe ask his teacher if he’s having problems with any kids
I would check it out you just never know
My son did this and I thought nothing if it 7ntil another worker let me know the teacher in his room was abusing him.
My youngest went to daycare at 4 yrs old. He cried & begged for me not to leave him & said he just wanted his grandma. So he went to grandmas. It could be a phase, but it could be that something happened. I just think it’s our job as parents to keep them safe until they can keep themselves safe. I would pull mine out of a daycare they weren’t happy in. My older 2 kids were in a daycare that they loved & we never had any problems. Good luck to you & your little.
Currently having same issue with my 3 yr old… has been in my bed for two nights now after wakenin from a nightmare… turns out one boy in her preschool has been bullying her… I’ve had talks over phone with her teacher and have asked for her to be moved to another group. She starts back tomorrow with another group
So something has definitely happened.
Keep talking about their day… naming the teachers and kids you would be familiar with and I’m sure he’ll say what’s bothering him.
That is worrying. I would not send the child there.
My son loved going daycare, very excited. We took a trip out the country and and came back a month later. The first day back he was very excited to be back in daycare. Tuesday he said he cried, Wednesday he cried harder. I didn’t send him Thursday.
I called one of the aunties at daycare to find out how long it takes for him to settle after I leave. Only to find out that the daycare owners went bankrupt after I left the country, they sent home all the aunties and parents pulled their kids from the establishment. To say i was shocked is an understatement. I called the owners indicating that I would be pulling my son and I wish to reimbursed at least half my money…even though he went for only 3 days.
I then made an appointment with his pediatrician to ensure that he was okay physically. After telling him my reasons for my visit he recommended a child psychologist, just in case anything untoward happened.
Based on results, nothing did. But my point is that even though he couldn’t talk, because he was about 9months at the time, his crying communicated his distress.
My advice, you know your child, if behaviour has changed and nothing in your home has, you need to ask yourself why.
Check out places where a lot of time is spent. For all you know, it could be nothing, but what if it is something?
You need to find out what’s going on at that nursery. A kid that doesn’t want to go somewhere suddenly usually mean something they didn’t like happened whether it was another kid or staff member that did something.
It’s a phase. He is effected by your emotional stake. However at 3 he should be able to articulate why he doesn’t want to go. Could be anything from a bad dream to a bad experience.
So many people jumping to abuse. Kids go through phases. I have kids that come over. One has been here for going on 2 years. Most days he happily walks in the door. Some days he cries and clings to mommy and some days he cries because he doesn’t want to go home. It’s perfectly normal for kids to go through phases the same as adults do.
Bear in mind that your child is 3. So it could be something just “awful” to him but isn’t actually awful or any kind of mistreatment.
My youngest son (also 3) LOVES school. He goes from 9a-11a.
Here lately he often says he doesnt want to go…and for him it’s because he doesnt want to stop playing and go do “work”…he gets speech and occupational therapy at school so he cant just play the whole time. (The ot he sees in school is the same one he sees out of school I trust her…and if something was going on she’d tell me)
Its not because anything actually bad is going on.
It could be as simple as being expected to follow a rule or not being allowed to do something he wants to do. Even a bad dream while at home but the dream took place at daycare. It could be delayed seperation anxiety (saw that with my oldest)
With all of that said, as a mom I would ask questions of your child and the staff to make sure that nothing is going on that shouldn’t be. Maybe pop in during the day, just to be safe.
Pretty sure my daughter almost 2 hates nap time!!! Because its not her bed! She throws a fight when I leave but never wants to leave when I get there
Please pop in when you can.
My daughter became hesitant at age 3. Found out they were making her use the bathroom with the whole class of boys and girls. She was uncomfortable.
Popped in a different time and she was standing naked in the middle of class with a sheet because she peed on herself and they tried to change her right there in front of everyone. I fussed and they gave her privacy but i still ended up pulling her. They were too nonchalant about everyone seeing private parts.
Id do random pop ins just to make sure nothing is going on.
If your kid is still not wanting to go after checking it out and finding nothing is wrong, maybe switch for awhile. Us adults get tired of the same walls now and then
Needs a change or maybe needs some relative time.
My son did this with going to Preschool. He would scream and cry when he was happy to go in beginning. Unfortunately come to find out the Preschool teacher was abusing a non verbal child . I felt horrible . But go with your gut if you feel something is up switch his Teacher or Nursery if you can. Ask the head of Nursery not the Teacher like I did. She kept reassuring me everything was fine.
I am a daycare provider and I see this happen sometimes… could be the day before your child needed a time out, could be they just want that extra mom and dad time, could be they r tired, could be they don’t want to paint and they heard that is what the special activity was gonna be… if she is good on pick up and seems to have had a great day talk to your provider… they may have InSite as to what’s happening… talk to your child and really listen to what they r saying… do random pick up times… try shorter days… take inventory of what’s going on at home… could be so many things… create a relationship with your provider so that u r working as a team… tell them your concern and see what the response… if u are not comfortable, perhaps find a smaller more intimate daycare setting that u feel comfortable… there is no one size fits all in daycare… sometimes a child just doesn’t jive with the rest of the group.
It could be nothing but I would just be sure first. You dont wanna send your child somewhere where bad things are happening. 3 year olds are pretty aware tbh. They can be contrary but they remember almost everything!
It could be something has happened but from working in a daycare it very well could be a phase. There was a little boy when I was working loved going and then for like a month screemed every morning, not even 5 mins after his mom left he was off playing like nothing happened. Ask his teacher
it could be a number of things, a phase, one of the other children could be picking on him, maybe a teacher is stricter with him. just so many. talk to him and listen. years and years ago–over 20-- my then 3-4 yr old son didn’t want to go to his class at church. he would throw a fit cry, carry on–sometimes we ended up staying at home over this-- in the end, we found out that the little girl he sat next to in class was pinching him under the table and hitting him and the teachers were not aware of same. needless to say, she was moved and they kept a closer eye on the little girl. no more problems with class after that.
Had this same issue with my three year old almost a month ago which lasted a couple of weeks… but we had an episode like this yesterday too. Turned out she had a UTI so once that was sorted we was alot better… She had recently transitioned from the juniors to preschool too so left her best friend behind… it took her ages to make a friend then suddenly this was taken from her. Her bestie has transitioned in preschool now which my little girl is happier about… So I think these were a combination of factors contributing to this behaviour 
But once she was dropped off at daycare she would be fine once I left and would have a really lovely day 
the teachers have been great with her and would send me photos of her of what she was up to without the day 
I would be worried something is happening to make the child not want to be there. I wouldn’t send back. Children do go through phases but unless something at home changed to where the child sees u less and is just missing you, then I would be highly concerned about what may be happening there
When a child at changes for no known reason. Always investigate. Follow your mommy gut.
I have been a preschool/ toddler teacher for going on 35 yrs it in all likelihood is a phase, this can come from several different reasons; tired, missing mom and or dad, missing siblings or Grandparents . The child could have not been listening and been re-directed to a different activity or center the day or even week before and not been happy about it. Child could be getting sick or getting over a sickness the list is endless . Trust your gut try to see if your child has any other behaviors that seem unusual and remember they are 3 tiny humans they can have a bad day or even week just like adults!