Take her to the park. Socialize her more. Talk to her about being gentle and boundaries. Explain how much she is hurting people and that it is not ok. Give her ideas on what to do when she feels anger coming on. Send her to a behavioral specialist. There are so many things you can do and the only thing you can’t do is let this continue!
Behavior like this is simply an unmet need that your child is trying to express. Let’s not forget that adults
Do this too. Sometimes we yell when we think we are not being heard, sometimes we leave the room when we need space. Target the need not the behavior and always in the positive. She is just trying to get her needs met even if it’s not the preferred method.
Once you know the need you can teach the strategy to communicate it.
You have not failed she has just not been around other kids when my son would do things like that I did it back to him and he quit doing it
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this but in my opinion a good old fashioned spanking may be the answer.
She’ll grow out of it, she just started school and hasn’t had very many opportunities to learn how to interact with others her own age. Most kids go to pre K and that’s when they learn to stop those behaviors but since she didn’t have that before school help she’s going to be a little behind the rest of her class socially. She will catch up fast. The teachers should be able to correct her behaviors without needing a parent to do anything except talk to her about what is appropriate and not appropriate ways to tell someone something is wrong. I mean, she’s 5. If she bites a kid at noon by 3 pm when you come to get her she should of already served a consequence for the behavior and what is mom supposed to do? The behavior doesn’t happen at home so punishing her at home for it doesn’t make sense and she might not even understand what she’s being punished for, especially not if she already lost recess that day or had to sit alone at lunch (that’s what happened to my kids if they misbehaved at school) I say talk with the teacher, explain her lack of socialization and ask them for patience while teaching her, it doesn’t sound like she has a disorder though, so don’t let them try to convince you she does, she’s just learning how to interact with her peers.
Read “raising good humans” !!!
So this 100% children’s brains aren’t fully developed for managing over stimulation. School can be very sensory overwhelming. Look up sensory processing disorder and maybe speak with the school to have an IEP developed. Negative behaviors are a reaction for unmet needs and over stimulation
She will learn the hard way, when they do it back to her
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Sounds like she needs punched in the face
Wow she sounds way over stimulated that’s all mamma. She may need a smaller scale classroom setting. It can be hard for a kid at school especially the first year, they’re used to being with mom so to be away probably causes stress and anxiety and lash out moments bc it’s hard for them to express themselves on a scale we can understand. You’re not failing, you’re learning. Look into ways to ease her and teach her calm down and talk about it or draw it, whatever bothers them, it will help. It’s a learning process.
Is there a school counselor that could help? Sounds like your child is having a hard time transitioning. It’s common, so don’t beat yourself up too hard. Look into reading books together to help with the behaviors. The school may even know some of the book names that can help.
You got this mama! She just needs a little bit of time to adapt. Nothing to beat yourself up over. And the teachers and the school should understand this. 
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Is she a young 5? You might have to consider pulling her out and put in pre-school. To prepare her for Kindergarten. School has changed- and if the teacher doesn’t click well with her- change might be good
I’d take it easy on her (and yourself!), learning to deal with our peers can be tougher for some.
Talk to her about hurting hands and how to use her words. Tell her you understand sharing things and space is hard, but those other kids are just like her. How would she feel, what would she want done, if another child hurt her? These questions can really open their minds depending on their age. My daughter was a biter, (Example: she bit a stranger at a yard sale for looking at her too long), flipping the situation around really helped her to understand that biting people hurt them even if biting made her feel good. To add; at this point she was nearly four, starting junior kindergarten and still an only child. We tried to socialize her as much as we could (I was a dog owner before I had kids, so a lot of the principles stuck ), exposure to situations under your supervision is the best way to assist in changing a behaviour, or showing her alternative reactions and coping skills. Is there a mommy group in your area, maybe you could arrange to meet some other kids at the park? Or is there a popular spot that families and kids congregate? I’ve been exposing my son with ASD to other kids (noise mostly) through a local splash park. At the splash park there’s no pressure to interact with other children, but it’s available to them if it sways them haha
Use the phrase “are our hands being helpful or hurtful?”
You said a little boy. It seems suggesting that it’s just that one kid. Not that the behavior is okay but if it is just one kid in particular is it possible he may be picking on her? Has she been to daycare or preschool and exhibited these behaviors? Is she getting enough sleep ti adjust to the new schedule or had any dietary changes from school foods? She could just be overwhelmed and not know how to appropriately deal with additional stimuli. There are so many variables. Is there any way you could have a parent aide day to observe her and what the triggers are?
I literally could have written this post myself. I’m a teacher, have lots of things in my “toolbox”, and my own daughter still has me at my wits end. Same exact story. I don’t have any advice, but I sure feel ya mama. I cried all the way to work on Friday because I just don’t know how to help her.
My neighbors kid use to bit and hit my sister and when we told her don’t let him bit you , you defend yourself and she smacked the shit out of him and ever since then he leaves her alone.
The old school way, bite her @$$ back but really, fix it at home. Expecting the school to step in will just land her in “special classes” now and in the future, especially if she’s black or Hispanic. Recently watched a children’s behavioral therapists video on a study that she conducted on that. There’s an astronomical amount of black and Hispanic children in those types of classes who never genuinely needed it, never had mental or learning disabilities, nothing. They were put there simply because the standard teacher didn’t want to deal with less than perfect behavior. Not listening, acting up in class, stuff that any child would do. She called out multiple districts in her area for placing perfectly capable children in special needs classes.
She will grow out of it when someone slaps her back
Not failed. Still learning. Get her in small groups to be with kids. Maybe counseling for social skills
Question: Do you hit her? If you hit her, that’s what you taught her. If your not hitting her, maybe try counseling. Behavior therapy. Give her someone to talk to. Is she being bullied? Many times the kids being bullied look like the bad guy because the finally get mad and lash out. Anything is possible. But starting counseling would be a great start.
Going through the same with my son. He is adhd/autistic and is having issues with staying in his own bubble
I would have her play with another child or two on the weekend and watch to see if she did this kind of thing outside of school. If you see her do it, then provide immediate punishment–time out while the others get to play with a special toy or get a treat she can’t have. Yes, I am strict. Yes, it makes her feel bad not to get a treat. It is supposed to do that.
They need to be taught appropriate social behavior before school. You can’t expect the teacher to provide all the training.
She just letting other kids know what she can and will do if they try to put hands on her.
Give her a little more time, and keep telling her she CANNOT do this things. She will adjust. Hang in there momma
I taught kindergarten for 15. I did Girl Scouts after school. A little girl C from another classroom did that all the time. She did it to S in my classroom during a meeting. S slapped her back, hard. C stopped doing it. You aren’t a bad mom. I hope it doesn’t come to that.
Most public schools are legally required to provide interventive measures. Depending on where you are there should be Occupational Therapists available for the children and they do specialize in helping with these types of issues for example if it’s adjustment or anxiety. If you have insurance you can also find help privately.
It seems that everyone is worried about the child who attacks others. The children who are being attacked are hurt and feel bad. They also need consideration. Children need to feel safe in school. They should not have to worry about being hurt by bullies.
Went thru it with mine and her to do it right back to her. Got wanna bite be ready to be bit back. You’ve gotta teach her that others will do it back, they won’t care. The fact their an only child can bring all this up when they start kindergarten because he they have to share EVERYTHING from materials to attention. This is on YOU to fix before the school starts giving disciplinary actions because your child reacts violently when they’re mad