My child cries for her teacher when I discipline her...advice?

Everytime I discipline my child she cries and begs for her teacher and I hate it it makes me feel like she doesnt love me.


She loves you, she just really likes her teacher…at least she’s not calling CYFD.

I know it can be a little hard emotionally. But Honestly this would make me happy knowing she feels safe with her teacher, there are some many kids who don’t.

Different strokes for different folks

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If you’re hitting her she will fear and resent you.

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Know you are doing a great job hugs momma

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She might not understand it yet but your discipline is showing her love, don’t get discouraged. Always tell your child why you’re doing it.

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How are you disciplining?

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It’s a game. My oldest use to say she wants her grandma or is calling her grandma

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Last year my 7 year old told me she wanted her teacher to be her new mum :joy:

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Lots of armchair Dr’s. :laughing: In my own experience raising 4 of my own, and 27 foster, grandkids, and more, it’s common behavior.

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My 8 year old told me just the other day that I was a bad mom because I wouldn’t stop his little sister from “bothering him” :rofl:


If it makes you feel any better, mine cry for their grandma because she lets them get away with it.


Sometimes things “taught” in schools are turned into young misconstrued ideas (not true meaning)…

Anytime I disciplined my oldest… I was told I’m going to call the cops. (He was suppose to be picking up his toys :man_shrugging:)
It got old really fast and I had to get creative in discipline and consequences!
He is in his thirties now

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She said discipline…not beat? Why does everyone assume she is hitting the child! I discipline my son ( usually taking things away or sometimes yelling) and he wishes I wasn’t his mom sometimes. That’s a common behavior for kids. They react in the moment when they don’t like the situation they are in. Y’all are jumping to conclusions here chill out


She’s probably just trying to get under your skin. Kind of like with me being divorced… my kids beg for the other parent when they’re being disciplined. She probably begs for you at school if her teacher disciplines her. Don’t let it hurt too much mama. :heart:


Well,if you are hitting her stop! Find ways to discipline without being physical. The end.


That’s motherhood for you. My 6 year old absolutely refuses to eat his ramen soup if I make it, but only wants dad to make it. I can’t even put thw water in the bowl… and just last month, I was told I make the best soup ever… can’t get upset at things like that. They kids will hurt your feelings often. You just have to learn to not let it bother you so much.

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She sees her teacher as a ‘safe’ adult. When you discipline her ( I’m just going to assume you mean physically) you are teaching her to fear you and thus, you are no longer a safe space for her. The only way you get around that is to stop.

Teachers are able to enforce discipline without the use of force or physicality. They do so using other methods and having an understanding of child development. Perhaps take a leaf out of that book and try a more gentle/understanding approach to teach her right from wrong.


You are the adult. Look in to ways to discipline your daughter. Not physically but things like time out. I think she has figured how to push your buttons. Remember you are a parent NOT a friend. She will hurt your feelings many times.


I was spanked at like 6 until like 15 and I was fine it’s a form of discipline. It’s there children they can discipline how they wish

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That tells you she has a great teacher. Think outside the box

It really seams that many people here have interpreted the word “discipline” as corporal punishment, although I myself do not agree with the practice I certainly cant grow comfortable making the leap to accuse others of it just because they used the broad term “discipline”

That’s a you problem……there is nothing wrong with your kid it’s not her fault it makes you feel some kind of way so don’t make it your child’s problem. Your child clearly likes her teacher. I’d say talk to the teacher find out what the teacher does for discipline. Maybe the child finds your scary when your disciplining her or intimidating. Maybe ask your child why she does that and don’t react listen to understand. Again it’s a you issue not a her issue. you should take a deeper look at why u feel like she doesn’t love you in that situation……it sounds more like mom guilt


So my son has autism and his teacher asked me how do I discipline at home? I told her spanking is a no go. I was beat as a child not a spanking. I was blistered and DCS was call by teacher’s, neighbors. Etc. my point is we all discipline my son the same so children do better with unison discipline.

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Just wait til she pulls the “you’re not my friend anymore!” Or “I don’t like you”. Lol they say and do things to push buttons and boundaries. Both my kids did it. Most kids I’ve ever been around has done it in one way or another.
The trick is to not take it personal. Once you do, that’ll be the go-to behavior for the kid.

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I assume you mean punish then, instead of discipline? If you are making her fear you in some way then you’re doing to wrong, and her teacher is considered her safe space.

Maybe you need to grow up and not be so insecure :woman_shrugging:


I’ve never even spanked my 6 year old and his favorite line is “why you don’t care for me”
“Why are you always so mean”
And he will literally say it when I don’t give him chips to eat for breakfast :joy::joy::joy:


it’s a game. she’s not getting her way with you :woman_shrugging:t4:

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What do you call discipline?

She never said she spanked her. Discipline can mean many things. Good lord

It’s more likely that she just does better with her teacher’s approach. I understand feeling sad, but I think your main concern should be WHY she feels that way, and not whether or not she loves you. Ask her teacher how she handles things and try to implement that in your parenting. I really can’t say much more without knowing HOW you are disciplining her, but I would start there. It’s important that your daughter feels loved, too. Even if your approach is a reasonable one, it may not be the way that works best with your daughter. It may be a good idea to talk to your daughter and ask her what she’s feeling, and why, as well.

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What kind of “discipline” :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

Every child cries for someone else when you’re being the “mean mom”.

It has nothing to do with you directly.

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That’s why she does it because she knows you don’t like it. Talk to her teacher ask her teacher to talk to her. You. Do need to listen to your mom, and explain boundaries school vs home. Maybe that will help if she hears it from her teacher too

Ask the teacher how she disciplines not punishes your child at school? Then use the same discipline then you won’t have to worry if she is scared of you anymore because discipline will be the same everywhere. :woman_shrugging:t2: but if you spank teachers do not do that so you’ll definitely be scary because spanking/beating is physical and terrifying as a child.

Ask her teacher how she disciplines. Be kind and respectful. You can learn something new, or you may get a good laugh.

My five year old told me I suck because I wouldn’t put Taylor Swift on…don’t let it get to you. She always cries for her grandmother when I yell at her

I’d tell her to stop and tell her discipline will be worse if she does it again because it’s disrespectful


I sent my 5 and 7 year old to bed during a “late” fun movie/ game night bc they were being hateful and messing it up for each other. I had to listen to them yelling “ you don’t love us” hysterically for an hour. No reaction is the best option until they calm down. Their little brains aren’t grown enough to understand trying to reason with them when they get so upset.

I’d remove her from that school asap. Be careful with these teachers around your kids these days. For several reasons.


Why everyone is assuming that she disciplines her daughter physically? Some kids are very dramatic.
My daughter used to tell me that wanted to live with her sister mom every time I said not , she said she loved her more and blah blah .

Tbh that’s a phase. Ur kids teacher can’t actually do anything when they act out. So the consequences for acting out are harder at home. Don’t take it personally. My daughter will cry for any adult who will just let her do what she wants. In our case that’s her dad. He will let her get out of bed for a million things but the min I look at her and say enough go to sleep she cries for him. That doesn’t make me the bad one. It just means she wants someone to give her what she wants and that’s just how kids are it’s how their brains work

That’s actually really cute & just means she has an amazing teacher who she loves and feels safe with that’s a good thing! You want your kid to have 5 other adults they can feel safe to go to for when you talk about body safety & stuff like that.

I have a similar story I took away my son’s switch for his attitude and not doing chores and he told me he’s going to tell on me to his teacher. I told him go ahead but he best tell her why I took away his switch too.
On a different note now he’s homeschooled so when he gets mad at me he tells me he’s going to tell Grandma. Makes me evil chuckle and say you have no power here (LOTR reference).

Lol my mama was never a bad mama and I’d cry and tell her she doesn’t love me and I want my real mom whenever I wasn’t getting things my way😅 kids are funny like that it’s a phase

How are you disciplining her for her to react like that? I really hope you aren’t being physical. If you are stop like yesterday

Don’t take it personal momma. They’re kids trying to navigate through new big emotions. Some adults still can’t even express themselves responsibly lol I know it’s hard feel sad for a sec then let it go. You’re both human :purple_heart:

So it sounds like she learned how to guilt trip you

I personally believe spanking is in effective communication. When is hitting acceptable at any age? But to each their own. I probably parent in ways that people can judge too.

These comments are why this generation can’t decide if they’re male female or cats. They have no real discipline at home.

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Lol my 4 year old I’ll put her in timeout or her room and will literally say your not my mom anymore I’m like ok cool kid your still going to your room lmao I never take it personally I know she don’t mean it her feels are hurt

Well that depends on how you are disciplining

Discipline. Do you mean hit? Cause that’s not discipline that’s abuse. That’s teaching a child that someone hitting them is a valid form of communication.

If you do that to a child, what’s to stop them letting their significant other do the same?

My eldest does this with her dad, her grandma, her day care teacher :woman_facepalming: it feels like crap in the moment but don’t take it personally.

My kids been running to her dad screaming “mum smacked me” full crying and I literally haven’t laid a hand on her :sneezing_face::woman_facepalming:

I have 2 sets of twins and I’ve spanked them all except one. She didn’t need it. They’re now 14 and 12 and are 3/4 responsible,respectful,and straight A students. I don’t give one shit about how anyone feels about how I went about teaching worked. How old is your child ?

Yeah she prob doesn’t love u. Y would she if ur hitting her. Would u love a man that hits u but says it’s 2 teach u a lesson? Nah don’t think so. Grow up. Keep ur hands off ur child. No wonder she wants her teacher.