Hey guys so I need advice I live with my parents and recently just left to stay a few nights with my bf and child because me and my parents got into an argument now my mom wants me to come home to fix everything but my child doesn’t want to be there he told me and my bf he feels like a problem and the reason for papas moods idk what to do I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place
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No one can tell you what to do. We don’t know this boyfriend, you or the situation.
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You’re the mom and parent. You decide and listen to your child. Your responsibility is your child not your parents.
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Go alone and have a conversation as to why he’s upset, (papa) with your parents.
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Your parents sound toxic…
If your child is uncomfortable somewhere, even if its with family, you listen.
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If my kid was uncomfortable somewhere, I wouldn’t force them to go to that place, grandparents or not.
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Depends on the age of the child!
Sounds like its time for a big family meeting
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There’s more to the story to give advice …how old is the child ? Children don’t usually tell the parent where to live. But there is a reason your child feels this way family or not.
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You need to have a conversation with your parents as well as your child should be able to express his feelings as well to them.
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How old is your child? I think there’s still some context missing. Is your child at the age where he or she doesn’t like Papa putting down boundaries, rules and discipline? That being said, maybe you go home first and have a talk with your parents and see what’s going on on their end and how they’re feeling about things.
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LISTEN to your child AND DO NOT take him back.
Please listen to your child
That’s typically how it hurts when you can’t control your anger and emotions in front of children. Especially in front of your family members you live with. Stop it.
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Please don’t jump into the boyfriends place. No reason to rush that relationship. Get out on your own. Don’t shut the grandparents out, but concentrate on yourself and your child.
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There’s a reason he don’t want to go . Listen to your kid . Meet somewhere public if that’s how he feels .
Listen to your child and find a way to get out of there
You need to worry about your child.And what is going on. Before you leave with your boyfriend. Your children always come first
If a child don’t want to go back to grandparent, have conservation to see what going on with child. I would do the write notes to have all information on notebook what going on with child between each grandparent. If child feel uncomfortable going there with you to discuss I would find a babysitter and go have a talk with your parent and talk it out with the problem, feeling, and see if those can be solved or take break for a bit away from each other.
To stay at bf house for few days is okay to take break from the grandparent/your parent. But need find a way to have stable home for yourself and your child. Get a 2 bedroom house or apt or something that fit for you both you can afford.
If grandparent did something wrong to the child really bad I wouldn’t go back to their house and have to report for safety reasons
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How old is your child? Sometimes you just gotta get thru. Working out conflict is good fir your child to see
You need to try to salvage the relationship between your parents, yourself and your child
Ask them why they feel like they are a problem and try to resolve that
You don’t want to destroy a relationship with your family
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Don’t go back. Your child should come first… always. Maybe you can stay with bf until you can find your own place?
Who does this child live with regularly? You live with your parents. Is bf the baby daddy? Is anyone paying child support? Do you have a job? You and child need your own living quarters.
So obviously you have been arguing and probably yelling and screaming at each other in front of your child…grow up, or is this an excuse to get your bf to let you and your child move in with him…I am going to guess it’s not his kid…and you looking for a new baby daddy…GROW UP, SUPPORT YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILD, GO AFTER CHILD SUPPORT IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY, GET A JOB QUIT BLAMING OTHERS FOR YOUR POOR CHOICES AND IRRESPONSIBILITY…DID YOUR MOM ASK YOU TO CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILD OR SOMETHING.
Find your own place if possible
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Your child would benefit from taking to a councillor, is your child at school as they may have someone in such a role. Is your bf running your parents down in front of the child
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I didn’t see how old you are or how old your son is. Unless your child is being neglected or abused by your parents, you need to go back home and fix things. If you are living with them, then clearly you need their support and resources. If you had anywhere else to go, you’d already be there. Explain to your son (and have your parents reiterate) that the drama and arguments taking place is “grown up stuff” and not his fault.
Uncomfortable does not always mean unsafe. If you are arguing with your parents, then perhaps you are contributing to his level of discomfort. Help comfort him by being stress free and lowkey, earning your keep, and biding your time until you are self-sufficient and can move into your own place. And PLEASE make sure you and your boyfriend are using protection. Adding another baby to the mix would REALLY make things “uncomfortable”.
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Listen to your child. Your child comes first, even before your parents. If your child is uncomfortable there’s a reason. Address the issue accordingly, talk to your parents, and talk to your child. My children are the same way because my mother is a toxic individual and has a me me me mentality and it makes my kids angry and uncomfortable. Perhaps something was said or done that your child wasn’t happy about, ask your child to be honest and upfront. It could be the tiniest issue, but you want to make sure they are comfortable going home to.
I think it would it would be helpful to know how old the child is. My guess is the child was present during the argument and heard things from both the mom as well as the parents that weren’t meant for a child to hear.
Here’s an idea… GO GET YOUR OWN SHIT!!
Show me the rock and show me the hard place
Ain’t no fuckin rock or hard place. You either choose your kid and be a good parent or you give the kid to someone willing to put them first
It’s hard to say without knowing the full situation. Did you and your parents have different parenting styles? It can be hard to live with family when you don’t see eye to eye on those things. Talk with your parents. Try to get to the bottom of it. Are your parents being unreasonable with what agitates them? See if you can find a common ground.
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Get your own place for you and your child. If your child is uncomfortable and doesn’t want to be there then its not fair to force it
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Talk to your dad about his moods and ask if your son is The cause, your dad should explain his own feelings to your son…
Kids blame themselves for everything. Unless your parents have an issue with your child, then your child is blaming himself for the conflict between you and your parents. Sit and talk with him, just the two of you and later with your parents present. Explain that people can argue but still love each other.
That said, everyone must agree not to yell at each other in front of kids.