My child has been missing a lot of school and I got a letter

My child has been sick a lot and I got a letter in the mail from the school about them missing too much… idk what to do because I could get in serious trouble and because I didn’t provide doctor notes. They’re not excusing it… what can I do about this?? I cannot afford to take my child to their doctor for every small cough they get.

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The school only cares about funding. That’s why they are pissed your kiddo isn’t there. They don’t care about the students, only profits. Your kiddo is your priority, if you don’t feel they should be in school, don’t send them and tell the school to kiss your ass. They work for you, not the other way around

If you talk to the school, they may decrease the number of unexcused absences down to a manageable level due to circumstances. I wouldn’t just ignore it, though. Some districts take truancy very seriously.

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If it’s a small cough they need to still go to school

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As long as their not running a fever they can go to school. Be more responsible and get dr. Notes.

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Dr notes. Let them take you to court. You can just show them and be done.

If they don’t have a fever or are throwing up, they should go.
Schools only excuse absences with a Doctors note. Some districts will hold your child back if they miss so many days. Some districts will involve DSS.
So, unless they are actually sick sick, send them to school. Let the school call you if they can’t stay. :disappointed:

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Homeschool has been amazing for us! The school inserts themselves too much without actually caring about kids!

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I would call the school and talk to whoever’s in charge of it. I got the same letter. And I was genuinely worried , I even went as far as asking like what are other parents doing when their children miss too much? do we need to homeschool our kids to make attendance better? They didn’t like the thought of losing a student so she said usually she would send out a big scary letter at the end of it all but since we’re having this conversation she didn’t feel the need to. Just go with your gut, call the school , express your concerns And be for real.

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What does the letter say to do?

I had the same things. I went to the school I told them that my kid is running fever and sick with flu and cold flu also asthma triggers them so bad like they are struggling breathing. I called the school and informed them that my kids are home if a teacher or staff can bring their class work/homework to my house each time they are sick. They bring it over and see us being home they excused us for being sick and know dr will say just stay home and do Tylenol and ibuprofen have them rest. It is waste money go dr just for dr notes when you know what your kind of sick my kid got I deal with them by giving them medicine, resting, a lot of fluids and give them vitamins to boost them up is all we can do.

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Just do what other parents do and send them to school period.

If my child looks miserable I don’t send them and let them be home too.

Do what is right for you and your child.

I always keep a record of email to the receptionist, nurse or teachers because your right sending them to the doctors every time is a hassle. They can dismiss and excuse on their end.
Of course we go to the doctor if they don’t get better. Or we do a follow up appt and have them back date.
Our policy at our schools is fever and throwing up is an automatic dismissal for my children to be at home. No matter what.

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Parent notes are supposed to be allowed depending on the school, up to 3 times to excuse sickness. Ours is 3 anyways. You know that truancy isn’t even about their education falling behind but about the funding the school receives based on how many days each child’s butt is in that seat. The schools attendance gets its own set of funding. Maybe not everywhere I guess but here where I am, a friend of mine was the SRO truancy officer for our school system and she has a daughter in kinder and a toddler. She is now homeschooling them and done with the system based on everything she saw in those years there. The last letter i got i kindly went up there and told them to not send me letters anymore unless they are offering a “sick bay” to allow my kids to do their sick time in and get attendance credit for being at the school but sick. Or the other issue is I’ve also sent them until the last minute before an appt we have and they still counted them absent because I picked them up at 11 and not after 1130. :roll_eyes: so they don’t count them there unless they’re there all day pretty much or more than half, but if you don’t send them for those few hours they’re counted absent anyways…so is it about the education time or???..that’s where you start to realize that if it were about the education then any amount of time is important. So 3 hours out of 6 or 0 out of 6? Which would be better for their education? It’s 3 obviously. If they’re sick and you don’t send them do they tell you to come get their work and as long as they complete that days work it’s counted like present? No they don’t. Because it’s ultimately not about the education aspect of it. It’s very much about the funding aspect of it with seat time. 100% of kids, 100% of the time is 100% of the funds… Going down from there, which probably only counts after their aforementioned cap of absences (5,10 etc). This makes sense because in junior year of high school i had to change schools for the 3rd time because we had moved a lot. I got all my work done, I got straight As, but I missed like 60+ days of school because I just wasn’t feeling it. I was done with HS drama and the school changes got old. I had to go to summer school and do absolutely zero work, because I needed “seat time” to pass. Not that my grades 100% passed with flying colors. :thinking: so I’m punished for learning the same information as other kids, in less time? Seems right. The whole truancy thing is insane to me for real. It really just gets them prepared for worker life on the daily 9-5. Seat time is what you’re paid for :woman_shrugging:. It makes sense but it’s completely morally wrong and I truly think it should only matter about their grades and abilities and not be punished for being ill or feeling mentally not capable that day of peopling.

The schools are run like the prisons. They get Paid by each attendance.
Home school,!!!

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The only reason they want the child in school for a "certain mount of days is so they can get funding from the government for students that are there “X” amount of days. This is the sole purpose of sending those letters out; they want the money that they will get having your child in school. No amount of sickness will satisfy. During one of these confrontations with the attendance officer in our elementary school ended with me telling them to give me her school records and giving my notice of intent to home school. My daughter was absent from school due to having pneumonia; ended up in the ER, etc… She had used up her normal allotted days before this happened. I kept her home for another 5 days. I was reported to the state truancy board. I went to my daughter’s doctor and they wrote out another excuse for those additional 5 days but I was really riled up after giving the extended note from the Dr. I asked them tons of questions and the truth came tumbling out. Home schooling is great!

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If they r not running a fever puking or diarrhea they have to be in school or u will get into trouble .

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Well, a nearby school closed for 2 days recently because such a large % of staff & students were ill.
Look at school policy: some say “no fever w/o use of meds for 24 hrs & a kid can return to school. But you know your child best, so you are their advocate

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My daughters school doesn’t even take excuse notes from any kind of doctor. I told them to call DFS. I have proof of appointments. Documentation of my own. Bring it.

In 2021 we had to follow strict covid rules. If my son had sniffles from an allergy attack he had to miss school! He missed 35 days. I didnt receive a letter. i went to pick him up and the principal told me they have called cps and they weren’t giving me my child. I threw a fit and they let me leave with him and cops met me at my door and handed me a $400 fine for his absences. I contacted my state and found that kids can have 10 vacation/parent request days with no repercussions and unlimited sick days. So I gathered all their emails about covid outbreaks in the school and called up the doctor and she wrote a generic letter stating that my child suffered from allergies and get a slight cough when temps fluctuate and with all the covid protocols they can’t have me brining him in everytime he gets a sniffle and take up time, resources and expose him to who knows what else. And I handed the city attorney and the judge my 55 page report and the case was dropped

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As a medical trainer, I just laugh at the letters you are not my child’s body. You have no idea what they’re feeling. If they say they’re not feeling well they’re probably not feeling well.
 My billet son yesterday he was really cold yesterday he stay home woke up this morning with a fever.
 You always need to listen to your child and go with your instincts.

They have no choice but to involve cps at some point so you really are playing with fire. My kids have absolutely struggled since covid to appreciate school at all. They hate tbe routine and often just flat out refuse to go. I had to quit my job so I could drive them and get them there or otherwise they’d sit here and miss tne bus on purpose. They both have anxiety and adhd so tasks are overwhelming, getting sick is just a big set back. I completely understand where you’re at with this but trust me getting your kids taken away isn’t worth it. They must go unless they’re feverish and throwing up. The rest is tough it out

Just send your child to school and let them send him home for being there sick.

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Not every little bug your child has requires a doctors visit. It’ll be the same thing each and every time. “Oh it’s viral”

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How many here knows someone who went to jail for keeping sick kids home from school? Show of hands please.

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I had this happen one year. We don’t go to the doctor unless it’s super serious. :woman_shrugging:t3: So we didn’t always have a doctor note and I forgot to write a parent note. I ended up having to have a meeting with someone from the school board. Because this had never been a problem before ( kids in 7th grade) they just gave me a warning and told me send a parents note. Even if it’s just a parent note, they will excuse it. So this year I remembered for always send a written note. The flu has been crazy this year. They were talking about it on the news this morning about crazy high numbers.

You can get back notes from the dr…

Go to the doctors office and get a letter stating what dates the child was seen and make copies of it and give one to the school. Now if you never took your child to the doctors than it’s going to be harder. I’m in Iowa and the laws regarding school and absences is pretty strict nowadays. My son has been sick and each time cause I don’t want to deal with the school I take him to the doctors even if it’s not a huge sickness and the same with therapy. Like right now I only have one car that both my son and I use and on Tuesdays I have therapy and obviously need my car so he goes with me and we had to get a letter from my therapist stating what days and what time for his 1 hour of missing school is excused. The government of your state is who made these laws not the actually schools. My sons school HATES the new law that was passed for school this year (2024-2025) because there’s people like you who cannot afford to pay out of pocket for the doctors office and puts you in a not good situation. And usually they send a warning letter first after 5 absence then the eighth absence one more warning letter and on the 10th absence they refer you to the district attorney for either charges OR to find a solution. I’ve gotten enough of letters since middle school (he’s in 10th now) and at this point don’t truly care cause well my child’s health comes first. He can’t learn if he’s sick and he definitely can’t learn if he’s so sick that he gets hospitalized (which has happened).

Send them to school, wait until the nurse sends them home, then they are excused.

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Sending them to school, let them see for their stupid self they are sick, then when they call you to pick them up tell them you have no way to get there

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I also got that pretty letter. Things that might help you : if child is sent home from school it doesn’t count. I’ve sent my daughter to school with a “tell the nurse if you don’t feel good, I’ll come get ya.” Unless there is a fever, throwing up or diarrhea - child goes to school. If these things are happening it’s more so that a doctor is needed anyway. Runny noses, a cough and tummy aches don’t make you sick. I’ll give some medicine in the morning and send them on their way. If I have to pick them up, so be it. It doesn’t count against them that way.

*A cough can last for WEEKS if not a month. Give cough drops, cough medicine, cold water, humidifier…any remedy you can come up with to lessen the cough.

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Schools can be so backwards it’s not even funny. “Send your kid to school every day so we can get funding” “Keep your children at home when they are sick to prevent spread of germs” and “Your child has missed x amount days due to illness now you might have to go to court for truancy or else we call CPS”. Some kids just naturally get sick more than others. So the best thing is let them do virtual for as long as they can handle it even if for a few hours for attendance purposes and give them full credit for that day. If COVID taught us anything is to have a plan B.

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A child should go to the doctor is they are running a fever, vomiting, diarrhea. If they don’t have any of these then they belong at school (this is according to most school districts). If its just a small cough they need to go to school…Again this is not what I agree with, it’s just what most school districts say.

This sucks but you may just have to send them to school sick and they can send them home. You can tell your child after a bit to go to the nurses office.

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At my sons school they are allowed to go sick unless then have had a fever or thrown up in the last 24 hours.

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I had similar issues with my daughters school, iv now given the school permission to contact the drs themselves if they need any further information as I dontget sick notes for my daughter I just call her in sick. I also argued about the fact that as much as an education is important, the child’s health is also important, if the child is not feeling great then they won’t be able to concentrate on their work!

I got the letter too. This is my kids first year of kindergarten. He was born during c0vid and really hasn’t been around a lot of other kids consistently until school started. So yeah, he gets sick constantly. So my choices are to send him to school sick and pick him up from the nurse. Spreading germs and all that. Or I waste everyone’s time and take him to the Dr so they can tell me to do what I’ve been doing, switching Tylenol and Motrin, just for a note. I’m over it. Try to find a Dr that you can call and they can fax a note to the school so you don’t have to make that trip when they’re already not feeling good.

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I never cared what the school said. Luckily my child didn’t miss much. But when he didn’t feel well I did not send him to school. No reason to make them more miserable when they don’t feel well

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If you can’t take the child to the Dr, you have to send them to school. I dealt with this, ending up going to court, threatened with loss of custody of my child. Her medical records proved her tendency towards illness, but I ended up homeschooling her in K12 because of the threats.

I can tell which parents are the cause of these outbreaks :rofl:

Keeping them home all the time they get sick isn’t good - however, I do understand, Momma :heart: send your baby to school- they will send her/him home - absent excused. But what most parents don’t realize is - you are modeling “attendance” - all through out grade school. This carries over to secondary education and/or job. Also, when your child goes to school (with all the other lil’ germ carriers-I say that loving/jokingly - retired teacher here :heart:) we get exposed and our immunity gets stronger. You’ll find most teachers who have been in the classroom with our babies ( students) for more than 3 -5 years very seldom get real sick.
Ultimately, your child being out of class takes away from his/hers education.

Call your child’s doctor…they should be able to provide past excuse notes for you.

My kid was sick a lot in elementary school. I would either write an excuse or take her to the Dr to get an excuse. I got those letters too, as they only allowed so many days out even with excuses. Lost a couple of jobs due to her sicknesses over the years.

Now I just send them sick and let the school call me

I take my son to a walk in clinic to get his note. You have to get the note.

Send parent notes anyway. Have them give you the dates and if you can remember what or why write a parent note and give them to the school. Also talk to the attendance clerk with your notes. Be kind and respectful because they are doing their job. But write the notes, go up there. They are human too.

A lot of insurance companies are allowing telehealth visits for cheaper than regular doctor. See if yours does and do virtual visits. I did that a lot.

They’re required to send the letter, but in my experience as long as you keep the school updated they don’t follow through on it. Some years are just bad for sickness.

I really feel for parents in the states. Up here in Canada, they really don’t want your kid at school if they are sick. Heck both my kids have had sick days, no notes needed. They have also had “me” days, where they just needed a day to self care. I will 100% give them those too.

If your child is missing school because they are so sick all the time, then as a mother you should be having them go to the doctor. Doctors will let you make payments for co-pays. Try again!

You cannot leave them home for every sniffle or cough.

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My daughter missed so much school this winter from illnesses it went beyond their accepted number of unexcused absences. I only had to take her to the doctor’s once and I got a note for that time. The last time she was sick, I intended to get her a note but there were no available appointments at her doctor’s office. I took her to a minute clinic and the number of people very sick in that small space made me turn right back around with her. I reached out to the school and her nurse and principal said that was absolutely the right move to not have her sit in that office. They personally excused the absences, but that may be because I have a good relationship with them and they know my daughter loves school and is there every day she possibly can be. I would reach out to the school.

School: keep your child home when sick!

Also school: here’s a letter about how many days your child has missed :woman_facepalming:t2:

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I tend to send mine to school and the school will call me of they shouldn’t be there unless it sickness or diarrhoea then instant 48hrs as the school allows them to go in sick x

Same thing just happened to me

U the parent are allowed to write the notes also… does not always need to be a dr.u just says they are sick and resting

Tell the school to screw off and sign your child up for virtual school. Mine did the same and I had dr notes.

Contact doctor. Give him dates and reasons why ,maybe he will write a note for all dates. Ours did. He said if I thought son sick.he shouldn’t go to school. But did not necessarily need to be seen at office.

I’m just saying, if I’m sick I’m not going into work just for them to send me home. I’ve actually been put on informal probation a few years back because my daughter missed so much school, she had heart surgery that year. They didn’t care. It’s all about money. Some parents have jobs they can’t just leave in the middle of the day to get their kids either. The entire school system is a crock of shit. They want to confirm our kids and have control over them, yet they let us struggle to raise and take care of them.

I sent my kid to school unless they were so sick they couldn’t actually be there. If they weren’t feeling good the school can call me and I’ll come get them

Yeah fortunately your kids have to go to school even if they have a small cold … cps or CFS depending where you are will most likely be called from the school for wellness cheak they will be falling behind school and your gonna wonder why they are not up to date on their education

My daughter has missed two full weeks of school this year - both fully excused, with a doctors note. Once was for her tonsillectomy and once was for the flu.

Even with a doctors note and them being excused absences, I still get letters. I was told that they’re auto-generated.

However, while you can’t take your child to the doctor for every cough or sniffle, you can send notes to school. Our district allows so many parental notes excusing absences before doctors notes are required and they allow so many days of absence before a doctors note is required for a child to return.

Communicate.

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I’ve gotten a lot of those letters. They’re scare tactics. They don’t follow through. If they do get a lawyer through a legal help agency near you. (Google legal aide for low income). Make sure to take pictures of your child while sick. Sounds horrible but it could help if you end up in court.

Schools are becoming very controlling, bullying parents & kids. You may want to research homeschooling. We switched this year. It’s so much LESS stressful for me & my children. They’re learning more in less time than regular school.

Why is your child getting sick so much? Immune system weakened? Maybe look at the reasons why.

Not sure where you’re located. I’m currently going through this. I live in TN. We had a meeting with the board of education explained why he missed so many days. The board of education turned it over to court. My son got petitioned to court he’s had 2 court dates told him when he comes back to court in June. He can’t have any unexcused absents and they will drop the case.

Send her in sick and let the nurse call you to come get her every time.

You don’t have to take them to the doctor to get a note. Just give them a call and let them know he was home sick and they will usually send the note through your health app.

Don’t let those letters scare you. You’re doing the right thing by keeping your child home when they’re sick. And you’re right, there’s absolutely no reason for a child to go to the Drs because of a cold. That’s just a waste of time for everyone.

In Michigan they are required to notify you after a certain amount. It’s just a formality n not really an issue just letting you know it’s over a certain amount. I’d just contact the school n see if it’s something you have to do or if it’s just for there records that they notified u

If I have used all my parent notes and it’s not Dr worthy then I send them and advise them to go to the nurse. The nurse then calls to send them home and I request a nurse note to excuse the absence. :person_shrugging:t3:

I would definitely look into what online doctor your insurance covers, that way you can get a doctors note right to your phone. I’ve been in the same boat.

Where I’m from it’s over like 16 unexcused absences. There should be doctors notes for at least some of them. They can take you to court.

Send them to school sick and let the nurse call you! My son’s school allows kids at school sick and coughing as long as the cough isn’t disruptive. But as soon as he throws up because he has asd and texture issues or from running at recess or gym he has to be out for 24 hrs even though he didn’t throw up from being sick! It’s freaking annoying it’s basically damned if you damned if you don’t!!

I have gotten that letter and then had to go in front of the principal and board people. They just want to make sure that the kid is not being neglected and sorts. It’s okay. Nothing will happen. My oldest daughter was sick alot too

Many are sick lately. Not all go to the Dr. Your a good Mom to keep them home instead of spreading it. Ask for homework you can get so maybe you will be ready to go back soon

Send him to school sick. But take him straight to the nurse and just say ‘I didn’t want to keep him home but just wanted to check with you to see if he’s OK to be here’. If he gets sent home it was by their hand and on record that THEY kept him out of school. That’s what I would do.

We only get 3 parent notes per year(3 for August-December and 3 from January to end of year) 6 total for the year. You HAVE to have a dr excuse otherwise. They can take you to court and either you or your child (depending on age) will have to do some sort of truancy orders.