My child is struggling in school...advice?

Has anyone had a son, or daughter going into third grade who was struggling to read, write neatly and spell. I can slowly see things clicking a little bit but we still have a long way to go and I feel like a failure of a mom that he is struggling. I think this is why he was acting out the end of his second grade year. I want him to like school, do good and enjoy it. This is an important year. If you have or had a similar situation what did you do?


Yes! I was able to have my child’s IEP adjusted and I got him a tutor. It helped tremendously and he improved so much.

We got a tutor. Now both go every summer.

Tutoring has helped my son. He still needs to clear up his handwriting but definitely look into hiring someone for one on one learning.

Please look into an IEP I’m from Oregon its amazing structure with normal classes.

I treat homework like a non negotiable in our house, but also like an activity (game) to do together. Writing words on blank paper. Workbooks where you copy words and letters. Number blocks. Writing math problems. Focusing on what he’s good at to build confidence and then challenging him to take it further. We’ve gone through so many workbooks at home. We play games about reading. It’s paid off. I don’t rely on school to tell me where he’s at or what to teach him, I just see what he’s got already and go from there. Practicing with his momma is so important.

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Following… My son is going into grade 4 and is still struggling with these things. He’s getting better and better but I know he’s still not at his level, it’s really hard. I want mine to like and do good at school as well


My son has adhd… been making strides since we had him diagnosed. Obviously not saying that’s the issue but it has made miracles for us.

Get a Tudor. Don’t let him get set back. In a few years he will not want to go to school because he’s older than his classmates. It makes a difference. Find out what subjects he’s struggling with and get him help

My daughter had a problem in 1st grade. We kept her back. It was better earlier than her struggling and having to do it in Jr high


We repeated 1st grade for this same reason, and a year made ALL the difference. He went from struggling, and the teachers recommending ADD/ADHD meds, to mastering the content and all A honor roll since then. It made such a huge difference for him.

Tutoring, summer school, maybe a study buddy too. Find books about topics he enjoys.m—even a video game instruction manual. Read individually and together as often as possible and make it a comfy, easy time. Get books on tape/read aloud to help him follow along. Sometimes I’d read one page and have my son read one page going through a book so he wouldn’t give up so fast.

Maybe get a neurological evaluation to see if there’s something holding him back like dyslexia, vision problems, ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, etc. He may need accommodations to live up to his potential.

Have him read about someplace and take a day trip to visit. Have him read guidebooks and pick out fun things to do near where you live.

Get him a Tudor. The 1:1 really helped my daughter. She’s now in 6th and doing well in school on her own.

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Request an evaluation through the school- if he’s never been tested before he might have a learning disability and need an IEP


Get him a 1 on 1 tutor if you.can. homework club too. All the help . You can. Right now many students are feeling effects of c ovid. You know your kid best. Just keep trying your best and ask the teachers for advice.

Get a tutor. Maybe a high school student or someone in college studying to become a teacher.

Some times it’s better to hold them back a year to catch up. They may be embarrassed at 1st but adjust pretty quick. It so much better than watching them struggle to catch up than it is to keep them back. Also have your child tested for learning disabilities and possibly ADHD or ADD. Cover your bases.

All 4 of my kids struggled bad in school.I had them evaluated and they each had/have an IEP.

A friend was in this situation and it turned out that her son had a cognitive disability. I recommend getting him evaluated. If you’re in the US, the school district either has to pay for or provide the evaluation. They often don’t state this outright, because of the cost to them, but it is your child’s right. You likely will have to advocate for him.

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Have them tested for dyslexia, if positive alternative learning styles are available…same input of knowledge just a different way


My son struggled A LOT In 1st grade with reading and writing. Covid started when he was in kinder. His 1st grade teacher, speech therapist, myself and principal all agreed he’d repeat but we moved and were on a new district. They were No KiD lEfT bEhInD but that actually left him behind. He is young for his grade (mid July baby) and he’s small for his age. He’s have fit right in. After 2nd grade we had a meeting and I said I would pull him out of the school if need be but he needs to repeat second grade now. They all agreed and he did. He was SOO much happier and more confident. He actually exceeds grade level now and he just started 3rd grade.


Get tested and get 504 or IEP.

My son is the same age and was really struggling with writing and reading. My son is a very active boy and a good kid at school- he was having literal tantrums when it came to writing. He would get so frustrated that he would lash out and even cry. His teacher came to me and suggested that she didn’t think it was behavioral and that something else was going on. Other members of the school suggested I have his eye tracking tested, since earlier in his life he had a large expressive speech delay and writing is also a form of expressive language. In the end, after seeing an eye specialist, they found out that he had a sight issue that was causing his brain to have difficulties processing what he was doing when it came to reading and writing. They prescribed him glasses and the results were immediate. He began to write, his reading improved and no more tantrums when it came to writing. He had always been a grade level behind with reading since Covid hit and by the end of this year, he was, for the first time ever, on grade level for reading. I highly suggest getting an eye tracking test, it changed my son’s life academically.

My son like school a lot until last year a mix between a teacher who was by the book use the book and not very good at person to person learning and my son who’s shy and a little slow with reading due to dyslexia he hated school so much he begged to do hocked on phonics so he could read before next year because the teachers semi put him down saying you should know this try harder ect ect like he wasn’t trying :confounded::sob::persevere: he can read is the funny part if you say that’s not ok to read out load kids he will spell it out loud and walla he’s got it every time :woman_facepalming:t3::rofl::face_with_peeking_eye::flushed: gotta love kids my son spend 6 hours at school every day and learned more in a week at home just hanging out with me practicing then he did all year last year watch teachers and student behaviors teachers that souly rely on state testing to place your kids knowledge level are not good teachers !!

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don’t feel like a failure and rembr every child is so different. my oldest had certain struggles due to a fine motor skill Delay. my 2nd faces some bc she needed glasses. I haven’t seen any in my 4yo yet, but who knows.

take your baby to the Dr and talk about your concerns, start there, see where it takes you.

Where I’m from public school has become horrible. Even the private schools. I moved my daughter around trying different ones. Had her tested and she was around a 2nd grade level in the middle of 3rd grade. I started home schooling. She scored 3rd to 6th grade levels in all subjects after 5 months. The teachers don’t have time to really teach they have too many if a child don’t have the drive they will not get the attention needed.


Has your child been evaluated for ADD/ADHD? Perhaps he has a learning disability and/or is having a difficult time focusing (and staying on task)? If you haven’t, I would talk about it with your pediatrician.

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stop wishing and enlist the help of professionals. If your kid isn’t performing at grade and age level, and things are “clicking slowly” something is amiss and you should be addressing the issue now, not when they are dropping out at 14

Get him tested. Get an iep. Turn off electronics at night.
Work on homework immediately when they get home so what they learned at school is still fresh. Set regular bedtimes. Before 10 pm. There’s no reason for them to be up past 10pm.
Good breakfast in morning. Boundaries set.

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Also, ask the pediatrician.

Speak with their teacher. See where and how exactly the child is struggling. Do they perhaps need an IEP? Do any of the teachers see struggling in fields that some outside help would benefit them? Are they dyslexic, have a learning disability, or other forms of anything that would make them an atypical child?
You’re not a failure. You’re seeking help and trying to figure out what to do to help them, that’s a big step.

If the kiddo hasn’t started school, then call the district and ask to speak to the previous years teacher. If they have already, then contact this teacher and tell them to inform you of any issues and that you have concerns over their struggles.

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Send written notice to your childs school asking for comprehensive evaluations to be done. The sooner you know if there’s underlying diagnosis or issues or not, the sooner you can fight to get assistance/accommodations put in palace to help your child. Waiting because things are “starting to click” only risks the child falling further behind struggling more and hating school.
Seek authorization/referrals for speech therapy for the reading struggles and try to find one trained in Orton Gillingham or Barton’s and Occupational therapy for the hand writing/motor skills. It’s so much easier for them if we fight for these accomodations earlier.

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This was 100% my son… it clicked and by the end of the year all of his grades had improved. We worked on his reading, we were always talking to his teacher and listening to what her thoughts were. He’s now going into grade 4 where he should be. His writing is still a bit messy, but he just rushes.

My 3rd grade kiddo struggles with math. We had one on one tutoring twice a week over the summer. He’s had great improvement.

Third grade is one of the hardest transitions. Everything will fall into place :two_hearts:

My daughter struggles with reading and writing. She gets extra one on one help from a smaller classroom setting and even went to reading camp over the summer.

Have their eyes checked … seriously. Mom FINALLY figured that out with me - it totally changed my learning ability.
Take time every evening to read to them and with them; practice makes perfect …
Stay away from sugary snacks and offer fresh fruits and healthy chips.

We homeschool and take our time…

Same here. My son is in 3rd and struggling with math. He’s doing tutoring but I’m working on seeing if he can be put back into 2nd grade. He’s not where he needs to be academically. It makes me feel horrible watching him struggle

Practice everyday never stop. Even if he doesn’t want to do it.

Read a book every day… That’s how I helped my son improve his reading. We started with a small easy book and worked our way up to his grade level. He really liked going to the library and picking his books out every week. After 2 months his teacher said he was reading above his grade level. And just practice writing a few sentences about the book… Maybe his favorite part and your favorite part.

I took my son to his doctor and had them refer us to an occupational therapist. They really helped him with his reading and writing skills and we learned he has eye tracking problems. It also led to us getting an IEP at school which also helped him alot.

Don’t make a big deal about in front of him. Talk to him and see if he has answers as to why he’s struggling. Tell him it’s OK and if he needs a tutor , you’ll get him one, or could be something else.

Please don’t feel like you’re a failure of a mother just because your son isn’t where the school says he should be right now! All kids learn differently and at different times. The fact that you’re concerned and working with him makes you an excellent mom in my opinion! I have a 13 year old son that is so smart and intelligent but literally hates the confinements of school because of how they are forced to learn sitting in a desk all day. He does so much better learning if he can be up and moving around and interacting hands on.

I work full time or I would home school him! We just have to succumb to the rules of the school and unfortunately that’s our only option. I am sorry that you’re having to go through this because it is hard! Hopefully your boy will get teachers that understand him.

Check your local library sometimes they have people who tutor for free.

My son is going into 3rd grade & can not read or write yet. We got him tested last year & He has a learning disability & adhd. We have been working with him & the school did last year as well. We are also looking at getting a tutor this year to help more. I would talk to your dr if you already havent.

Have testing done, do they need glasses, do the have dyslexia and so on

My son is in the 3rd grade right now. 1st and 2nd was hard for him especially when it came to reading. Towards the end of last year I felt like things were clicking and then here come 3rd grade and everything went out the window.

I talked to my son and try to find out what is making it hard for him he said at school the classroom was too loud during reading time and he couldn’t focus on the words he was suppose to be reading.

I talked to the teacher and asked for quiet we are now trying to get him an iep so that they can accommodate a quieter area during those times.

At home we do homework one on one in a quiet space. He is still struggling but he pays better attention.

We work on reading everyday. During the week it’s with books. If we go somewhere we will ask him to read something on a menu or a street sign just little things to keep his brain going. We play the memory game with words or sentences just to make it fun.

Just be patient. It will click it’s just on their time you are doing great mama!

Talk to his pediatrician about the diagnosis for adhd, typically that’s why they start having behavioral issues and problems focusing in class. All three of my boys were the exact same way, and they have all three been diagnosed with severe ADHD, we were able to get an IEP put in place that way. Once we got their meds figured out it was much easier for them to learn.

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Some kids are just late bloomers

Request in writing to your child’s school special education department to have your child evaluated/tested by the diagnostician

Two of my 3 girls girls struggled. My 12 year old struggled until the end of 3rd grade when she finally got an IEP in school and she was diagnosed with severe ADHD. She is now being evaluated for Autism. My current 3rd grader also struggles, along with struggling to remember what she learned before weekend breaks and such. She also now has an IEP and tons of one on one help. Some kids struggle. Once you find out why they are struggling, then you can help them better. Your not a failure because he struggles. U would only be a failure if you kept quiet and did nothing to help him, if you didn’t care. Clearly you care very much. Talk to his pediatrician and his school, talk about his struggles and together find out what’s causing them.

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