My child never eats what she says she wants

Hi I’m looking for any advice. I have one child who is 5. For breakfast I let her choose between cereal or eggs. She wanted eggs scrambled with ketchup. I make her them and then she doesn’t even eat it. Okay fine. Then later she wants a smoothie. I make her that. She doesn’t like it. It’s discouraging when I make food and then it essentially goes to waste. I don’t want her to have a bad relationship with food but it bugs me we’re living paycheck to paycheck.

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Don’t fix her anything else.

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So it sounds kinda bad but don’t ask her what she wants, just fix her something. “You get what you get and you don’t get upset”

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Make her eat what you fix. Even if it’s hours later. She’ll learn

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Quit doing what you are doing. As long as she knows that you will make her whatever she wants even if she doesn’t eat it she will keep do it. She’s playing you like a fiddle. If she wants eggs for breakfast and doesn’t eat them then it’s eggs for snack or lunch or supper until she eat them. Don’t make her anything else until she does. If you are out of the house with her and she wants something to eat and didn’t eat what you made earlier she waits until she gets home and eats what you fixed her. You’re the parent; start parenting.

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Don’t give her the option. She eats what you make or she doesn’t eat. I’ve been pretty lucky that my kids aren’t picky eaters. But in the event, I make something that they don’t like they eat it anyway, and I just won’t make it again. 

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My child has sensory and we struggled with food a lot when he was really little. And i still went pick A or B and I made him stick with it. Now at 11 I make one thing I know he will like and eat and one I like and one my dad likes and too bad!

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Im asking, why ? Why doesn’t she eat it ? If she doesn’t eat breakfast after choosing, move on til it’s lunch time. Make lunch. A or B . Eat or don’t eat. Make dinner. A or B . She’ll get hungry. Save what she picked from each and offer it as A. She’ll grow out of it.

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We have this issue too :frowning: waste so much food unfortunately x

Make a little bit and leave it there. Just let her know it’s ready once and let her come get it. Limit other snacks or drinks until she tries it. My son now 13 would do that and this worked.

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How much are you giving her? Wasting food definitely sucks but I would start off only making her very small amounts of things - or if she does cereal, a small amount of cereal. That way she’s still deciding what she wants but you aren’t wasting a bunch of food either. If she doesn’t eat what you’ve made her, save it + when she gets hungry she can eat that before she has something else.

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Why would a kid needs to choose food? That’s exactly why they become picky. I understand in occasions you go to the restaurant that when they get choose from like 2-3 choices not 10

Ur better than me lol. U ordered it,u eat it. If u dont like it,this is ur last time eatting it,but ur eatting it. It cost me blah blah,ya,i let them know at an early age. Mommy had to work for 3 hours to provide this for u,i was tired,i wanted to go to sleep,but feeding u is my top priority,sp please,eat ur food,or mommys head will roll :rofl: good luck!

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If she dorsnt eat it dont fix it

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Thank you for being conscious of potential unhealthy food relationships and eating disorders. I completely understand the frustration of wasted food but the small amount of wasted food will be well worth not causing food, trust and emotional based trauma. They offering smaller portions of 2 or Items to give choices on plate instead of offering 2 and only fixing one. For example for breakfast make 1 scrambled egg a half a piece of toast with butter and/or jelly or a small hand full of cereal. This gives them visible choices.
Remember they are still learning what they like and dislike as well as taste buds change as they grow. A good method I use for food introduction is see, smell and taste. I offer a small amount of a new or unlocked food and the first time I ask them to just see it. The next offering see and smell it, then the third offering see, smell and taste (not eat just taste) it. If they eat it then great I’ll add that to rotation if not I don’t offer again for a few months and I’ll retry the process. Sometimes they’ll decide it’s ok and eat it the first or second try and sometimes they don’t. It takes time and patience.

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Come on Momma - who is the adult in this relationship. If she ask for something and you make it - tell her that’s all she’s going to get until next meal. Stick to it. Put your foot down now Momma or this behavior is only going to get worse.

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Following because same momma :heart: I don’t want to force food on her but dang it gets hard. I feel bad for it but I started to make her eat what I make and if she doesn’t, we have a snack bucket that has snacks she likes but I started to refuse to make another meal.

Make her one meal. If she chooses not to eat it, it goes in the fridge and gets re heated when she is hungry. Otherwise, nothing else until the next meal.

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Have you let them help you prepare the food? Crack or scramble the eggs or grate the cheese or pick the fruits and scoop the yogurt? Kids really enjoy melon ballers, measuring cups and spoons, whisks etc. It could increase their willingness to eat new foods. Also, if you are eating with them. Food is communal and bonding. I’m sure you’re a very busy mom, but if you can share that time, you may spend less time bickering over food.
Just some thoughts from a momma. :purple_heart::pray::plate_with_cutlery:

I’ve had to deal with ASD and ADD. If she refuses to eat the eggs, then she loses the offer of eggs for a couple of days. It could be that she wants them but loses her appetite whilst it’s cooking. I’d probably just send them to school with some fruit for snacktime and let the teacher know they didn’t eat breakfast rather than making anything extra. I had a real problem on school trips where I loved the idea of a fried breakfast but would actually feel physically sick when faced with bacon and eggs at seven in the morning! Even now, I struggle with anything more than coffee in the morning :joy:. Maybe ask her what she WOULD eat in the morning? A cereal bar maybe or some fruit? Or give her a glass of juice if she does want eggs. Please don’t give her the eggs for her next meal. This is a horrible thing to do and it makes a kid lose the signals that tell them when to eat.

Let her make it. When they make their own food they are excited about eating them. 5 is plenty old to do basic things like eggs, sandwich, cut up fruit and smoothies. :woman_shrugging:t2:

Is she eating snacks in between or getting something else offered when she changes her mind?

I make a meal with 3 options on the plate (usually a carb, protein, and fruit/veggie). My toddler can eat anything on there or nothing at all. :woman_shrugging: He knows it. He also knows I don’t make him eat everything if he only wants to eat one item. So its up to him. But he also knows I will absolutely not make him a different meal. Have to have fair, but firm, boundaries with them. They’re at the age where they test boundaries and see how far they can go.

Unless there is an underlying issue of why she’s not eating it , I’d keep offering it to her every time she says she’s hungry after not eating it

One meal, no choice. If she’s hungry, she will eat. You aren’t running a short-order kitchen. No snacks if the meal isn’t eaten. You’re the boss, not the 5 year old.

Sounds like a 5 yr. old to me. I wouldn’t fix a second food item if the first one wasn’t finished. Did wrap it up or toss it? My oldest rarely finishes her plate, I have her wrap it up to eat later. You can have her help cook with you. Kids eat what they help make.

One thing I did was make what I make and then if they don’t want to eat it they can have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich :woman_shrugging: that way I’m not cooking a ridiculous amount of food to please a toddler but I know they’ll at least eat something. This worked really well for my kids but if you have a child with autism or arfid it might not work for you.

Another trick for breakfast is I would make smoothies and freeze it in popsicle moulds so if my kids wouldn’t eat breakfast I could give them “ice cream” for breakfast lol

Maybe sensory. Her brain wants but the texture etc is off