So my kids birthdays are very close my oldest is in march and my second baby in April and they’re 4 and almost 3 my second son is on the 16th. Well my first we did a cake at his dads parents house like we do for everybody’s birthday over there and we took him to Chuck E. Cheese just family and they have a combined party this past weekend. Well I asked their dad what are we doing for our April baby and his response was “how many parties are they gonna have” I’m like what this is for his birthday like what we did without oldest so I asked his dad about having cake he’s like sure I guess so at this point im just like am I the only one that cares about celebrating his birthday on his actual day? So his dad was like are we gonna invite people too so at this point I feel like I’m being made fun of and he’s telling me he’s annoyed with it so I told him he’s gonna regret not celebrating their birthday with them while their little and get excited for it. Like maybe I’m being sensitive but it hurts knowing that they don’t care to celebrate his birthday like we did with my oldest.
I guess I’m confused too. He has a point, what was the point of the combined party if they each get their own as well? That is kinda setting pretty high expectations for your children.
Don’t get me wrong it’s amazing when we can do all the things for our kids but sometimes it isn’t possible and then thinking it’s the norm could cause issues later
Do the same for all. If you combine any, combine all. If one gets a separate one, they all should get a separate one. Be consistent and treat each the same to avoid confusion and conflict.
When it’s all said and done all the pictures you take will turn into memories and those last a life time. To me that means the world even tho they were small momma always came thru for their birthday 
. I have kids in 3 consecutive months and they all get their own day celebration
You don’t have to throw a party but can take him somewhere fun for his birthday . Birthday parties can be exhausting. Just do something special for him ,
I have always done their party on the weekend cake and all. and the actual day If during the week I also have a cake and everyone sings happy birthday after we eat dinner .I have always done that for my kids and my mom did that w us . It’s their day and you love them I think it’s a good thing and they’ll always remember mom making them feel special on their bday
My son and daughter’s birthdays are 13 days apart and they get separate parties .Each kid deserves to be celebrated!
They definitely should be treated the same way. With that being said - we decided against huge parties after our son turned 7. We want to gift experiences so we had him pick a restaurant, took him to dinner, sang happy birthday, did cake and then he got to choose what other activities he wanted to do. He still talks about how fun his birthday was.
Why do you need his permission?
You had a party for both right?? I would most definitely do cake on his actual birthday but I wouldn’t do another party maybe have a couple people over.
Momma you can celebrate your babies however you wish for each of your kiddos! That way they all feel special on the actual day! Your not being sensitive your being thoughtful. It’s the little things that count! Your a good Momma!
I used to throw little parties at my house with just my grandkids when they were little .when I’d babysit for the weekend. There was just 5 of them and I’d have the kids decorate the table Inside or out depending on the time of year. And let them Help me bake their own cake. Taking photos of everything. We’d have a blast celebrating their special day (even if it wasn’t on the actual birthday date) it was our special time with them. Because they had already did the Chuckie Cheese party or huge park BBQ’s or skate party. I’d just a simple little party for just the cousins.
My younger brother was born 3 days before my 7th birthday and I always hated having to share a birthday.
I obviously don’t care as an adult but as a kid it was terrible
Growing up my mother who I lived with never celebrated my birthday…my brother’s birthday was 2 days after mine so when my dad wanted to acknowledge it. We got to share a cake…at least he acknowledged but it would’ve been nice to have had a party or something…
I’d never do combined parties… we usually do the big party where everyone comes. A simple cake and 1 present on the day of birthday if the party can’t be on their birthday.
One of my kids has always shared a bday with her uncle (My brother) they’re close so it’s been a special thing for her whole life. We also do just a small home made bday dinner where it’s just my us (without the extended family) where she gets to pick what she wants for dinner and a special (small) bday dessert or treat.
I think your April baby is 3 and won’t remember and won’t be scarred for life if you don’t do something even though you did something for the older one. I understand you wanting to do something just for them on their bday but I also understand his perspective that you’ve already done something big for the combined so maybe just do something small as a compromise?
Oof I see his point n yours. you had a big combined party for the whole family for both kids so in his eyes the birthday had done been celebrated, but you don’t want the 2nd bday child to feel like his day isn’t important… I get that. I have 2 kids who birthdays are a day apart n another who’s a month after theirs. what I do is for the 2 who are a day apart they share a bday party as in family coming over, but each gets to invite friends n get separate cakes. my next month child gets a separate party all together. now for their actual bday day, the day they are born, they are allowed to pick out a birthday ho ho n we as in the immediate family- in our case just me and the siblings- stack the ho hos on a plate n sing happy birthday so that way each birthday is honored separately
Alll of my kids get Seperate birthday whatever… we don’t always do parties but they each their own day or weekend.
Birthdays to me are a big deal. Kids deserve to feel special ON their birthdays. Just IMO,
My kids are july 26th (5) and July 29th (2) for my son’s first birthday I did it combined a princess/prince theme party. Now we just go places to celebrate instead of doing parties, of course we do a cake still for them both. I don’t see a point in parties they can be expensive at least when taking then places they will have memories.
My kids birthdays are in March and April on there actual birthday we do cake and dinner just our family and then did a party for each of them or a combined party but we always did cake on their actual birthday.
I do this. But only if the birthday falls during the week . But again my kids is February March n April. And so the girls we celebrated on birthdays but my son we are doing something small for his birthday as it’s during the week and the weekend something big . But the small celebration we aren’t inviting anyon
I have two June birthdays. I have one party for my soon to be 3 year old at then end of May since her birthday is the 1st. Then I have another party for my soon to be 6 year old closer to her birthday. I think kids should have there own day to celebrate, never combine parties.
Throwing another party seems a bit much. Doing cake at his parents, followed by Chuck E. Cheese, like you did the oldest isn’t excessive. In the future I wouldn’t do combined parties for this reason
Thankfully mine are 2(march baby) &gonna be 4 in August , so not super close but regardless me and their bio dad always said even if they had been super close idc if they’d have been a week apart ,they would have their own birthday so I get how you feel , and before anyone says “what was the point in combining the one birthday “ the point is not letting the other child feel left out ,as they grow they can be taught their own individual birthdays while not leaving the other kids out ,though we don’t combine our kids birthdays on my daughters 2nd birthday ,even while apart form my oldests ,my oldest still got gifts from people (not mandatory),everyone just likes to always get the other a gift or two also . But even so the other child’s birthday sick ealready combined if it’s gonna be an issue with the dad ,then atleast have just a small ,you ,dad,siblings cake and family night in or out to celebrate that ones birthday too bc again they will grow and even combined one will wonder why the others was celebrated more close to that ones actual day or this or that .
Each child deserves their own birthday celebration. Keep it simple - cake & ice cream. Both your children need to feel special.
I 100% understand your struggle on this. I just had my third baby and all 3 birthdays are about 3 weeks apart. For their birthdays this year my older two both wanted a party at Chuck E. Cheese and it’s just too expensive to do 2 different parties there so we combined their party and then on the day of their birthday we did something fun as a family
My oldest turned 6 on March 30th and my youngest turned 1 on April 5th. We had cake and presents for them each on their actual days and we’re planning a bigger party for family for them together.
2 of our kids have 1 day between their birthdays (17th and 19th sept) we’ve only ONCE done a joint thing for them, when the littlest was turning 2, and that was a family trip to a theme park. Hate joint parties for siblings except for like twins. They’re individual people let them have their own celebrations. We usually do a party or trip (on a weekend very close to the birthday) then just go out to eat on their actual birthday if it’s a weekday.
My middle baby was born July 13 and my last baby was born July 22. We use to do a combine party but I always make sure the youngest gets a cake on his day. Soo I don’t see a problem with it. It can b costly doing another party. What I started to do was do individual birthday parties for the July babies and not combined. But I don’t throw parties they get to pick the event we do and that’s what we do for their birthday. Maybe try that next time?
I get that celebrating on the actual day is important. That said, if you choose to do a combined party, it makes sense to just do a cake at home or a dinner with immediate family on the day.
Unless that birthday party for the oldest was agreed to be a combined party he is just being a jerk.
As a youngest kid myself I personally never was celebrated because everyone was busy celebrating my older siblings. As a mother if my ex was acting this way about our kids I’d go off and directly confront him about his negative attitude and ask him if he even cares about our youngest child’s feelings? Ask if he plans to be sour the entire planning and party because if he is might be better to never do parties together since he cant care less. You are your child’s biggest advocate. You need to be direct with your issues and feelings on big moments. Going forward if you want to celebrate each child separately make that very clear that will be how it’s done. If he doesn’t want to participate with a positive attitude he can stay home and be a sourpuss by himself
The way I have always done it with all of my kids is if their birthday fell on a weekday that we would have their birthday party either the weekend before or after their birthday. But no matter what, on their birthday, I cook them whatever they want and if their birthday is during the week, I do a small cake to celebrate with them. We always get them a present to open but save their big stuff for their birthday party.
Either do a combined party, and then a seperate immediate household only celebration for each on their day(let them pick the meal, and do a small cake and their presents) on their actual birthday. Or do two separate parties.
My oldest are august 24,august 28, September 2 and September 23. I always made sure they had their own parties and were made to feel special and then we also did a combination party with family. I was so happy to have my last one born in April lol
Kinda the same but not… My kids are all separate months but they all also are almost holiday babies too… My oldest is a Mother’s day baby(14th) middle is 4th of July baby(5th is her bday) and my youngest is a Halloween baby(27th) my parents always wanted to combine the holiday with their bday since people would already be around for the get togethers but it took away from their special day. It seemed like especially for my July baby people were more interested in alcohol and fireworks than celebrating my daughter so I stopped that and we now celebrate individually on Their day!
Every child’s birthday deserve to be celebrated regardless how close they are. Now from my understanding, the first had his own party at grandparents home with Chuck E cheese to follow. I guess that’s why dad is not understanding if you’re throwing April baby a party and inviting ppl when the first had one just with family. Idk. You did mention they had a combined party so I guess dad wants the second one to do the same with grandparents and Chuck E cheese to follow.
I mean I get his point. If we have birthday parties that’s the main thing we do. For their actual birthdays we have a little cake at home with just us. There’s no point in having two parties. Imo it’s one or the other.
Do the birthday party. Each kid deserves to feel celebrated. That is their special day. I have 5 kids and they all have their own birthdays and birthday parties. Don’t let anyone take that away from your babies. Your kids come first now, the dad can go pound sand.
I say have the party and don’t invite him 
Your feelings are valid and each child deserves their own personal celebration on their bdays. You don’t have to make it huge if he’s worried about finances but you can still celebrate the day.
It’s a special day for both children they deserve it 
My oldest son (13) said happy birthday to his friend, and his friend said he was the only one who said happy birthday to him. His mom didn’t even wish him a happy birthday, broke my heart,
They deserve to be celebrated
If they have a big combined party then that’s great
And then something small cake and balloons on their actual birthdays to have that little celebration then do it
I’d throw parties for both, do it even if MOM is celebrating them 
Happy birthday babies 
Yea so all three of my kids kids birthdays are back to back we have four birthdays February, march, April, and may lol we use to do a party with family and then we would go do fun stuff just the kids but now it’s so spendy we let them choose and they can bring fiends and closest family members can attend if they would like to but we do for events we don’t rent the rooms we just do the cake at home before or after with presents this last year I’ve been very very very sick needing urgent surgery but having to wait due to insurance reasons it’s a whole sad story either way I can stand walk ect so my family came over and help set up for each of the kids parties this year and their older now 12, 7 8 ect not like when the were 2 and 3 and their faces lit up from all the birthday decoration and all the family those parties were da down the best ones !! You can’t get them back !!
Only right to treat them both the same.
It may not be because he doesn’t care. It may just be a financial issue that he’s thinking. It does seem a tad but excessive. Since they are both boys personally I would have combined their birthday party since they are so young but if you want to throw something for him, that’s fine. There’s a way to compromise on this like adults… Do a family get together at the house with Meatball or taco bar and get a jumpy house 
3 of my kids have close bdays. Nov26, dec21, jan7. They always get their own bday celebrations. Be it something small with family or a party with friends. That way they each feel loved and celebrated. But 3 parties is a lot. For 2 kids from now of I’d start just having separate parties for both kids and then you don’t have to worry about your husband complain about throwing each kid 2 parties but they both get to be celebrated separately
For my niece and nephew they are 1 year and 5 days apart. The day of their birthday they get either cake or cupcakes and any gifts from immediate family and then we will do a combined party since they have the same friends
Do the same thing for the second that you did the first, OR just have the separate parties. Seems like a waste of time and money to have a combined party AND separate ones.
I’m kind of on dad’s side here. Why are you having a combined party AND separate if you really care about celebrating on the actual day of their birth?
Also, I’m not going to 3 different parties for two kids, ain’t nobody got the time or money for that.
Here’s an idea, Party for the first kid in March, cake and Chuck E Cheese. Party for the second kid in April, cake and their restaurant/play place of choice. Simple as that.
Or if you really like combined parties, something small with just immediate family at home on their birthdays with some cupcakes, and save Chuck E Cheese for combined party on a weekend.
Because now it’s not fair to the second kid if he only gets cake and family time on his birthday because y’all spent all the party money on the first kid.
We did a combined party for my daughter and son. But they each get a birthday dinner on their actual bday at wherever they choose.
I have 4 kids 3 of which are about every two weeks from another birthday or holiday and one also on the same day as your little one. Even in the chaos of thanksgiving Christmas a new year’s there’s still a birthday for my older 3, usually just family cake dinner and presents and the “party” is on a weekend, but on the day of their birthday if it lands on a week day I always acknowledge the day make one of their favorite dinners and maybe a small treat. Your not wrong in wanting something special for each child because each child deserves their own special day.
My kids usually get a birthday party each and then on the day of we have cake, do some decorations that they wake up to and whatever family wants to come, they come(grandparents and immediate aunts). If no one comes it’s just us and we sing happy birthday and have cake. My boys are 13 months apart so one the end of Nov and the youngest is early Jan a year later. They like having their own day for their party and then we keep it low key for the day of. My daughter is in August so we do the same thing, party on the weekend and then day of just low key at home with cake
If we do parties, we combine, because our kiddos are similar (first two are June & July, second two are November and December.) But we still do cake on their actual birthday and a special activity if they choose. Immediate family is always welcome to come over for the cake on the day of their actual birthday, but it’s not a party.
We have two August babies (8th and 27th) we do a joint party with friends during term time and then on the birthdays (which fall in the 6 week holidays in the UK) they each have a tea party and cake with our family friends. Then they usually get a cake at nans house when we go visit them too 
I have 3 kids with birthdays in March . March 7th , March 8th and March 28th . My oldest we just did cake and gifts with us at home as he’s 14 then did my daughter’s party with her friends a couple days later and then did a little thing at home on the 28th for my son
If they had a combined party then a family dinner with a cake would be perfect. Acknowledge their individual days but an entire party isn’t necessary. I would let grandparents, aunts and uncles know the plan and invite them for dinner and/or cake.
I say plan and celebrate the actual day even if its their favorite dinner followed by a cake with just the family thats how we did it 
im 63 and never had a party always my favorite dinner and a lovely cake 
you must acknowledge each child individually on their day not everyones convenience 
Since theu are so close together, I would do a combined party and on each of their actual birthdays, buy a cake, add balloons, and a few gifts. And maybe just with you, your husband, and kids. Or with very close family like grandparents. That’s what we do.
My daughter is 8 my son is 6 one is Dec one is January there kids there be happy with anything don’t have to big parties when they get older there remember and get enjoy it amd v u can do something different with each for both of them will have fun it don’t have to be a party
That’s why I always did parties for my sons on my own. NEVER with the X. They got cake icecream and their favorite dinner on their bday regardless what day of the week it was and also a Bday party. I never had my son’s share bdays either and some have been a day apart…
I have a 5 yr old and a 4yr old and their birthdays are 5 days apart and they get a special dinner and cake and presents on the day of their birthday then a joined party on the weekend. But they both get something special just for them on the day of their birthday. We do not do presents at their joined party just the separate birthday dinner.
We do cake on the day off. And full parties on another day. Each kid deserves their own party and cake
We all ways all ways do cake on their birthdays and they pick whatever for dinner and then they have a birthday party( If we are doing one that year) On a different day
We do a big combination party with friends and family. But on their there birthday we do a small cake or cupcakes and their favorite home cook dinner or pizza and watch a movie with them
I’ve got a feb and march pair. About 2 weeks apart. I’ve always had a massive blowout for both. Then my b’day is about 2 or 3 weeks after that, and we do something for that also. It’s not a child’s fault the month they’re born or that their parents didn’t think to do the math before getting pregnant everyones birthday is special and deserves to be acknowledged.
The only thing I found stressful was the fact that it’s a small town and both kids have the same friends. So it was like the other parents needed to buy 2 presents one straight after the other (not that they NEEDED to, but you know). Anyway… I’d just tell the parents not to bother with presents if it was too much. They always did bring something tho 
Depends what you mean by party? I get having a little cake for each of them on their day then doing an actual party combined for both? But everyone is different and I feel like your feelings are valid!
Every child needs to have their very own celebration sometimes. I don’t think always but certainly sometimes.
I have 3 kids in April, April 16, 24 & 27 and I threw all their parties together until they got older. Parties for everyone at the young of age is a waste of money. We would get a bounce house, a water slide and have a bbq and they would all get a small cake for each of them and that’s it.
Disfavored child status is one of the top 5 foundational abuse forms that lead to adult disfunction, if you have an individual celebration for one you should have one for each
Both my boys were born in oct…2 weeks apart. We celebrate on the actual day with their choice of dinner and a cake, just the 4 of us and the weekend in-between their actual days we have the combined party for family and friends to come…just in case someone can’t make one party and can the other(avoids hearing they love him and not me arguments!)…they know the date well ahead of time being its always that sat in between so no excuses! Lol
I have 3 kids, 1 and 3 are 15 days apart, 1 and 2 are 6 days part, we are not big on parties but they get to pick what they want for dinner and they all get their own cake on each of birthdays. Sometimes they get 2 cakes because they like to celebrate with their grandparents as well
I call Bull S**t🤎…Celebration🥳 for one is good enough for the second…
Do what you want to do, forget everyone else
You have to do for each child the same. Or don’t do for all.
Do what you want, if he doesnt wanna come he can be uninvited🤣
I would stick to either a combined party or seperate…I am not sure in the point of having both.
You’re too sensitive. Neither of you are wrong.
At their ages, separate celebrations are for your benefit. Not the kids.
My sons b-days are a week apart. They didn’t get separate celebrations until they asked for them.
I once knew a family that had too many kids to count. She had her kids, he had his kids, they had done together then they fostered & adopted. They did something special for each child on their bdays. Even the grown kids & grand kids. They had 3 kids who’s bdays were 1 day after another. They went to CEC all 3 days because that’s what each child wanted. Then they had 2 parties (fall/winter bdays & spring summer birthdays) a year that they invited extended family & friends. Each family celebrates in their own way. 1 child shouldn’t get to celebrate while the other doesn’t.
No double partys !!! Ppl are overwhelmed with bringing two gifts 
Every child deserves to be celebrated on their actual birthday in my opinion. Both children should be treated equal as well.
You are right. Celebrate whole you can ! We have a party on each of their days ( 5 days apart). AND a big party for friends & family.
Children remember EVERYTHING. Give the child their own day! Let’s call it a birthday!
If our kids birthday falls on a weekday, we take them out for ice cream, Chuck E. Cheese, to the movie and they sell little cake slices in Walmart. Then they have their party on the weekend. This lets them know that we are recognizing the day as their birthday.
If it falls on a weekend, they just get their party.
For your situation, each kid deserves to have a day “all about them”.
Each of my kids get a special treat and their pick of dinner on their bdays then we have an actual party arty where everyone is invited
Just being a man. They don’t care about crap like that.
Celebrate those babies individually it counts
I understand where dad is coming from
Oldest had cake at grandma and grandpa’s
BOTH had a party together
Youngest can have cake and grandma and grandpa’s too…no need for another party
If you had a party for him a small gift and treat is warranted for immediate family who want to be there. 
if you choose to do so. I jave 2 that are 1 year and 9 days apart and we combine for now. We will split when their older
A combined party for a 3 year old is good enough. If you want to bake a cake on his birthday then fine.
Oh men. Lmao. He’s just tired of all the occasions. It’s fine. He will stroll along for his kids party just fine.
They so close toghter why not celebrate both of them toghter
Tell him he can suck a lemon. All the kids need to have their own parties or they will resent you for not having their own. No one wants a joint anything for long. They all deserve to feel special even if it’s something little.
My boys birthdays are 10 days apart in February. 6 weeks after Christmas and the coldest month of the year. We may have family over for cake but we haven’t done that every year. I’ve maybe had one big party ever for each. We’re big on experiences on birthdays. Museum, aquarium, movies, build a bear, beach trip, etc. I say forget the rest of the family and take him to do something fun the day of. Pick one day in between for family to celebrate both kids if they want to be like that. I personally don’t believe is necessarily combining birthday parties but our family is way different than yours it seems.
Ok so 1. I would bring it to my husband attention that what we do for 1 we do for the other sounds like he playing favorites and u don’t like it. 2. together u need to choose either to have 2 separate parties or one big one. Now I’m not saying u can’t still have cake on there birthdays or do anything for them. Just sound like the 2 of u need to communicate
My 2 oldest kids have birthdays 3 days apart. They each get their own celebrations on their birthday. We do big parties at 1, 5, 10, 13, 16 and 18yrs. On their non party birthdays they get to choose an outting, whole day of choosing what they want to eat for breakfast and lunch with a dinner out of their choice, cake, decorations, presents. I bought a reusable birthday decorating kit from Itsy Bitsy paper company and its held up for a few years of birthdays now. We do buy seperate decorations for their big parties. Everyone should have their own day to be celebrated 
I wouldn’t combine their birthdays. Each have their own and call it a day
Tell your husband to get stuffed and celebrate your child’s birthday like everyone elses . He didn’t think about when their birthdays were going to be when he created them did he !
As a child of combined birthdays. I hated it. I dont even like celebrating my birhtday anymore bc of that kind of attitude.
I have 2 kids who’s birthdays are 11 days apart. We go to my moms, his moms, and do something at home with them ourselves. This 2 weeks our weekends are busy cause we go visit everybody be for each birthday. I don’t like doing joint birthdays.