Advice needed, so the father of my child said he doesn’t want anything to do with our child, I have sent several messages to him about our boy as he may have epilepsy?? Under hospital investigations. He ignored all of them for a week, rang last night at 1 am, I missed it cause I was asleep so I rang he didn’t pick up, so I have sent a couple more messages this week to keep informed about our son, still no reply should I not bother in the further or keep messaging him about our son (we were in a relationship but a very toxic one) police and social services have been involved) he asnt seen our son this year.
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Kids probably better off without him if he’s doing this.
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As hard as it may be, she needs to stop attempting to communicate with the child’s other parent. He’s fully aware they have a child. He doesn’t care.
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My ex left saying he was tired of taking care of others. I worked hard to keep him involved. My boys saw how fake it was and now are hurt men who want nothing to do with him. Cut your losses and ignore the fake studies. A mother is enough. You will do better without him. Find others to provide support.
It looks to me like he doesn’t want to b a part of the child’s life. Forget about him and file for child support.
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You can’t force a man to be a father. Forget him and focus on your son. If he is ill, he will need all for attention and does not need the stress of an on again/off again half ass sperm donor anyway. Keep the toxicity away from your son. Don’t invite it in. Good luck.
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You probably know the all ready
Just get child support from him
Move on to hell with him
Enough putting energy into informing him about your son. Turn that energy towards the care for your son.
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Put him on child support and forget about him being in ur son’s life
If he’s that abusive as a partner, you really don’t want your child around him at all. Leave the man be and run the other way. He doesn’t want you or the kid.
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Can’t force someone to be a parent and even if you could, they more than likely won’t be a very decent one. A wise judge once told me this and I took the advice and ran. Everyone is happier if you don’t force it. Best of luck in the future!
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Have him sign off all rights to your child so he can’t come back later wanting anything from you or the child.
I hate seeing people say forget about him and file for child support. This still gives them the ability to have rights! Having them sign off all rights is the only way to guarantee that they can’t come back wanting visitation later! Don’t be using your baby for money and potentially putting him in risk later to have to be with this person
Ur kid isnt losing out. the deadbeat dad is. Keep it pushing. He will grow up and regret what he has done to ur son and karma will get him.
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I’m confused why you’re even calling him when he already told you he wants nothing to do with him.
It truly sounds to me like you are still in the toxic relationship. I do not see the need to keep him informed unless you share custody and if you do and he is not involved you need to clarify this immediately. You can not force him to be a parent but you do need to complete control of your child’s well being this means having complete custody. You do not want to be the position of needing his approval for a procedure or treatment and he is no where to be found.
Ok so leave it alone. Screw him your child is better off without. You can’t force him to care or parent do your job as a mother stay strong and keep pushing forward.
Stop trying. If that’s what he wants give it to him but he damn well shouldn’t get away with not paying child support. File.
Let him keep walking away. Sounds like the further he walks away the better off you and your son will be!!!?
If he doesn’t want shit to do with your kid, don’t keep him updated on him. File for custody and child support and move on
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Sounds like your the only one in the “toxic relationship” he told you he didn’t want anything to do with the child so why do you keep trying to lure him back with your sons health scares? Sounds like your trying to trap a deadbeat who already proved to be worthless. Take his ass to court he can sign over rights or pay support Judges choice!
YOU can not make him be a dad to your son. What are you actually trying to prove by pushing? Try as you are but YOU can not force him to be concerned or part of this child’s life. You can’t force a person to feel or care, let’s be honest here…he don’t. File for full custody and order child support and be on with your life. It’s his loss, not yours. Now dry them tears and straighten that crown.
Take him for child support and let his ass go your son doesn’t need a toxic person in his life…
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Just move on and reem his good for nothing for child support so your son is taken care of. Screw that dead beat POS.
I’ve read all the messages no one is advising u.to bother with this man and I agree. You cant make someone do or be someone thier just not it’s a hard pill to swallow, and it hurts but you’ll over come move on in time it will.get better focus on what matter your son he needs u. Not this man hes the loser not u best.of luck dear.
Stop trying & if he dosent want anything to do with him have it written in a court order so he can’t come back later.
He said he wants nothing to do with your son, he isn’t responding to you, and hasn’t seen the kid in 10 months. Have an attorney draw up termination of parental rights papers and have him sign them… In the future when you meet a good man and get married… if this man eventually wants to adopt your son, there won’t be anything standing in his way to do so.
Honey he’s not a father, he was a sperm donor, just try to get child support and let his ass go.
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Unless for child support, i would not bother with a person like that. You know how he is with you, why would you let your children suffer from him too. if you really love your children, you should be a good example and show them that begging other people to care about you is setting yourself to be abuse and taken advantage of.
He’s made it clear he doesn’t care. Move on with your son without him. It can be done, you’ve got this.
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You say you had police and social services involvement ? Are you hoping this abusive man has changed and things will work out ? You have to cut contact don’t send any more messages your creating an opening for abuse to start again because of your child you think he’ll care …I’m sorry to be brutal he does not care he told already he does want his own child…delete his number and don’t respond because at some point he might probably when he’s drunk or wants to control you …concentrate on your child and yourself love you and your son more …you both deserve better…I hope your son will be ok and you too
Honey you can’t make someone be a parent now that being said you’ve got to step up an be a great mother to protect this child
Say ok, get child support, move on and show your son that he can a better man his father.
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I sent weekly updates for a year. Just so it couldn’t come back on me that he was never told. I told him I had done it for a year. Now its up to him to ask if he wants to know. I know this isn’t the path for everyone. I was dealing with an abusive narcissist, and had to do it without making things worse.
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It is time to move on from this relationship that is so seriously out of whack that he is not allowed to be in his sons presence I would be glad he didn’t want anything to do with my son it sounds like some thing he did has made social services not want him around the child anyways. Cut your losses and get rid of them it sounds like your kids not even safe around him for god sake’s
You called him back and left a message, if he cares he will call back, I wouldn’t keep calling.
Let it go and take care of your child.
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Stop trying the way it sounds your child’s better off without him. You get away from him too. Have him sign off on his rights before he holds the child over you.
Mummy a Big Hands Up to You for taking care of your Baby by Yourself under extreme circumstances:raised_hands:
also for trying with the babys dad , But in all honesty if he does not want to play his part and role , You Cannot Force him , just let it be , its heartsore
But he will face the consequences of his actions 1 day … Your Baby Will Have The Outmost Respect Love Care For You For All that you are facing and going thru as a single mum 
wish you Only The Best … God Bless You Both
Totally remove him from your mind
Why would you want to expose your son to a toxic person especially when he has epilepsy? my opinion is responsible parenting is keeping the other parent from the child if they are toxic and dangerous to that child’s mental and physical health. Not just cuz you’re mad but legit toxic people should not be around children.
This child needs a hero in this situation. And apparently it’s you❤.
Pick and choose your battles sis. If the father has made his choice, unfortunately it’s a sad one😔. He needs to be accountable, in future he will realize his decision.
I speak from my experience in my life. I stepped into BOTH roles, and moved on. 
No advice to give. He stated his wishes. You cant make him be a father. Theres no magic words. And if he was toxic then the child shouldnt be around him anyways. Be more selective w the next baby daddy.
File for Sole custody and then get child support.
If this was the last day on Earth would you be thinking about your baby daddy? I would like to think you’d be thinking about repentance and trying to be saved so you and your kids can be together. Can u do that now? So much death and uncertainty we’re on borrowed time and it’s his life and lost because babies are a blessing. So Forget deadbeat and live like everyday is your last. From experience!!
NEVER FORCE SOMEONE TO BE IN YOUR CHILDS LIFE THAT IS HOW BAD THINGS HAPPEN!!! You got this mama if you need to talk I’m here!!! I am a single fulltime mommy it can be hard but very rewarding!!!
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