Advice needed, so the father of my child said he doesn’t want anything to do with our child, I have sent several messages to him about our boy as he may have epilepsy?? Under hospital investigations. He ignored all of them for a week, rang last night at 1 am, I missed it cause I was asleep so I rang he didn’t pick up, so I have sent a couple more messages this week to keep informed about our son, still no reply should I not bother in the further or keep messaging him about our son (we were in a relationship but a very toxic one) police and social services have been involved) he asnt seen our son this year.
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Hun I would put all your energy into your boy and wait for the father to contact you about him. I would also ignore him if I were in the relationship. Your all in or your all out. Best of luck with your Prince.
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Very sad 
but if I was you I’d keep sending updates…at least your doing the right thing even if he dosen’t message back…at lest your conscience is clear…all the best for you and your son…
Stop worrying about him. If he doesn’t care that’s his loss. File for support so you aren’t busting your ass for nothing while he’s out running and keep your focus on you and your kid.
You are in a relationship. Even a toxic one but he hasn’t seen ir asked about his son in a year?
I’m so confused.
His loss. You’ve tried multiple times to update him. If he’s concerned, he can reach out to you. Just focus on your son, he’s the only one that matters.
If he isn’t trying why are you? Leave the man be and raise that boy. If he cared then he would contact you and actually be there. A year and a toxic relationship should’ve told you enough. Move on girl.
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I would not bother then u have to share ur son with a guy you might not know as well as you thought. Every kid needs two parents but this seems to be less healthier as if he just didn’t come around at all.
I would update once a month for 3 months, if still no response, update every 6 months, again still no response walk away knowing that you tried. Don’t forget to document everthing, make sure all your ducks are in a row just in case your ex tries to pull a fast one like trying to be the perfect father in the eyes of his newest relationship, oh and my the way if he does that he has told the new girlfriend it was all you being a bitch a d not letting him be a father. That’s why you document everything. Plus if you go for child support any evidence of him not wanting to be a part of your sons life could be helpful in court
Dont waste ur time or energy. I know it hurts but u and ur child are better off. U dont want someone like this and show ur kid this is how a dad is supposed to love him. Teach him to be a better and man just move on. Keep ur head up
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- Ensure that he provides financial support, legally if necessary. This includes hospital expenses. 2. Notify him in cases of medical emergencies, but not for assistance, as you are no longer living together. 3. Give him the option to see your child, e.g. once a month, fixed time and place, but if he won’t take the offer, don’t waste your time.
Stop trying, if he doesn’t care then it’s a waste of time. Take care of the little man. Focus on him and yourself
Any medical he has legal say so just do your best by txting, and if anyone asks at least u have proof you have made communication to him… … it sucks but thats what i was told by a lawyer as i am not with my eldest sons father and even tho he has nothing to do with him he still has rights …
If he was concerned then he would reach out. It’s his job as a father to check on his son. If he told you he doesn’t want anything to do with him then leave him alone. File for custody and child support and move on. Don’t stress yourself out more trying to force him to be a father.
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Keep updating him and Keep all the messages you send him, then you have proof you have tried to inform him About your son.
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I would send updates but other than that I wouldn’t waste your time! Focus it all on your son and be the best mom/dad combo you can be!! You’ve got this mama!!
Honestly…u should stop reaching out to him. If he wanted to be a part of his sons life he would be. U focus on yr son and yrself. He will come around with time or just leave it the way it is. Either way, yr better off letting him figure that out and u just being there for yr son 100%.
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you can’t make him love you , time to cut ties , move on …
Leave him alone, worry about you and your child. I wouldn’t even stress on child support, that’s just something every month that will drag out the month by wondering where its at, relying on it, it not being enough, so forth and so on. File for soul custody and once you have the papers just forget he ever existed.
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Send one last message stating that this will be the last one from you about your son. If he wants further information, ball is now in his court, period!
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Leave him to it…Your son doesn’t need someone like him in his life…One day you will meet someone who will cherish you both and Until then raise him the best you can being a mum and a dad with Male
Presence from uncles and friends etc xx
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It seems like you’ve done the right thing and reached out. Now it’s his turn. It’s not your job to make sure he’s a dad and it sure as hell is not your sons job to reach out to his own father either. Parents are the adults. If he doesn’t want to be involved, don’t contact him anymore. You did your part and you shouldn’t feel bad about stopping contact unless HE contact YOU. If you don’t want to go after him for financial help, there’s no reason for you to continue trying and probably stressing yourself out about it in the process. Your son will learn who was there for him and who wasn’t.
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Don’t force it. You’ll be better off as a single mother than trying to coparent with an absent father. Trust me, I did it alone for seven years and it was the hardest but best years of my life.
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I’ll never understand why some push for the man to be a part of the kids life. If they don’t want to be there leave it at that. Having a man thats in and out of a child’s life will potentially mess up a kid more than not even knowing them. But im also one of those women if they don’t wanna be around im not going to take their money. There’s always help from the government if you need it. You will be ok, you will make it.
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Thats up to you. If you wanted to keep him updated it would look better in court if you persue full custody or termination of rights. Shows you value his relationship with his child and if he doesnt respond or call or anything it shows he doesnt care. Just a thought if youre wanting to go the legal route at some point.
Ask him to give up his parental rights
It takes no time at all to send a text once a week to update him and at least you won’t be accused of keeping him out of his sons life, dont ask him questions dont fight just be very clinical “this and that is going on with (sons name)” and leave it at that. Im sorry to hear your son is under investigation for epilepsy, I have it too and getting diagnosed is really scary but it does get better once it gets sorted out and the right meds are found. So for now concentrate on your son and just send a once a week text and dont worry about what his father wants.
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if he hasn’t seen your son in a year, you can talk to a judge about legally revoking his parental rights. and show you’ve tried to reach him as evidence of neglect. should be an easy win
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I had my child’s father dissappear on us for some years. He always hung around shady people… I was not able to find him to take him to court for custody papers, which I needed to provide the school in case he showed up out of the blue to pick him up from school. Otherwise, the school had to let my child go with him. It would be prudent for you to keep contact with the dad if only to know his whereabouts in case you eventually need to find him.
Sounds like he has chosen his path and you should listen to him especially with the police and social services being involved at a point. Your son needs you time and energy focused on him. The father will reap what he sows one day until then just be the best mommy you can. Good luck god bless
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Stop giving him updates. He clearly doesn’t care about you or your kid.
Let him know he doesn’t have to be involved, but he’s going to pay monthly support
I was in the same situation, stop wasting your energy! Focus on your son, and give him the best life you can! I will pray that you meet a kind and caring person, as I did. My husband adopted my daughter, raised her as his own. I pray the same blessing for you and your son!! I have not heard from the sperm donor for 32 years! His loss!!
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Move on with your lives
Just take care of u and ur son don’t worry about him u tried and that’s all u needed to do now focus on u 2
Going through the same thing with my son and his father, it’s easier to just cut contact and leave him alone. It’s better to focus all your energy on being the best mom you can be for your child
Also I wouldn’t battle with child support either, it’s such a ridiculous fight that sometimes ends up not in your favor because they don’t pay anyway.
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I’m sorry that you have to deal with this. I would say to just forget about him and go on with your life. He isn’t worth it.
Not your job.
He is on notice.
Let it go.
He has shown you what he is. Believe him. He was toxic to you. Why would you want him around your child!?
Girl stop. Stop texting him. Stop calling him. And stop thinking you’re in a relationship with him. The minute children services became involved, you should have dropped him completely. No person is worth risking the safety of your child or having your child taken from you.
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Never force anyone to be in your child’s life.
No way would I keep trying if he doesn’t care about my kid! Shiiiiit bye.
I think until you have full custody and a legal order in place, keep sending him weekly updates via text. That way you have proof that you didnt cut him off or keep your son away from him and it can’t be used against you. Once you have full custody then cut all contact
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I’m sorry I know it sucks. My advice is to stop wasting your time and believe him. You’ve tried. I’m in a similar situation, I used to give a pic and update almost weekly with no reply ever I stopped wasting my time. He does not care about your child stop trying to force it
When people show you who they are believe them. It is wht it is…he wants nothing to do with you or your baby. Just move on and may Gid give you the grace
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Go file for full custody and keep it moving you can’t make someone be a parent.
First of all, im sorry you are goin thru this. I do applaud you keepin him up to date, but i would just send a message then leave it. He knows how to reach you if need be. Focus on you n’ ur kid. It will be hard as time passes to explain the father gone to ur kid. Be honest as best you can. Your kid lovesyou both, so dont bash the dad in front of ur kid. Your kid will form an opinion about their parent who isnt there on their own
Why in God’s name did you have a baby with a man that you didn’t even love . A abusive relationship is no good for you or the Beautiful baby you had .Move on and find a real love . Don’t worry there is lots of men out there that takes on other people’s children and love them like there own . Any dickhead can make a baby but it takes a man to be a father . Move on lass
Do not chase a sperm donor. If they want to be a father/daddy they’ll make the effort. It’s not the mother’s job to obtain or maintain a relationship between father & child. It’s their responsibility. Let him go! Love your little boy without the stress of sperm donor.
Get full legal and physical custody then go live your life. He’s a tool. You could not keep me away from my children for a minute yet alone a second, That man child is not worthy of being called a parent .
Stop involving him. He has made his decision. If your relationship was toxic and he has openly stated he wants nothing to do with your child, it will only hurt your son to be exposed to him. Find a supportive partner who values your child or return to family or friends who love you both. Your son will know his father doesn’t want him if it continues. If your ex changes his mind someday he can do the work to make things right, don’t try to do it for him.
Look up abandonment laws for your state. Stop messaging him and see how long it takes. If he goes past the deadline you can have his rights yanked
Have him sign his rights away and move on🤷🏻♀️
Stop wasting your time, focus on your child.
Girl just drop it. Its sad hes a worthless father. Im sorry!! You can do better. For your sons sake focus only on him. Dad is a lost cause!!! Toxic is and always will be toxic!!! As much as you want him to care he just doesnt. Hard to face but true. Be there for your son he needs you
Forcing someone to be a parent is more traumatic to a child than just doing it on your own. I mean feel free to take him to court for reimbursement of medical bills if you need the financial help, but if he doesn’t want to know anything or be involved you can’t force it
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This is a blessing in disguise. If you force him to try and be a dad he will not make your son feel loved and appreciated. Instead your son won’t understand and he will feel like he’s not enough or he did something wrong. Let the dad go. I share custody of one kid and have sole custody of the other. Sharing custody is necessary but hard. With my sole custody child I never have to ask for permission, I can go and do anything I want and not have to hear anything from a loser dad. Count your blessings and teach your son how to be a great man that will not follow in his fathers footsteps
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Just leave that man alone if he doesn’t want to be in his child
Life his lost don’t beg or plea trying to make him see your child just lose all contact with him
I’d just leave it alone… I’d never force anyone to be in my kids lives. Even if it was their dad. I’d ask him to sign his rights over if he really doesn’t want anything to do with your child
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Don’t even bother. Delete him from your head space and move on.
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I wouldn’t keep messaging him. You did your part and informed him. If he’s worried , he’ll reach out.
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Sorry you are going through this. If he’s toxic to you, he will be toxic to your son. Him not wanting to be around is a blessing
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If he doesn’t wanna be in his life then honestly I wouldn’t want him to be…how do u think someone who doesn’t want anything to do with ur child will treat them when ur not around, I would just let it go
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Send all copy of all messages and replies notes to and email using your babies name and birthdate. You may need later
Why would you even want a man like that near your kid? Forget he exists and move on.
Let him go and go for full custody. By the sounds of it he may be happy to sign his rights away.
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You answered you own questions… Move on. Be the present parent 
Ignore him he’s obviously not interested you can tell your son when he’s old enough that you tried
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As the one who went through having the dad not want to be a dad to their kid to 2 of my kids, best thing you can do is get rid of the loser and take care of you and your kid
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If he has the option to see his child but he would rather go a year without seeing him then he is planning on going the rest of his life without seeing him, as hard as that is for you to hear 
Your son needs you, you don’t need to be worried about him or what he does. Give him the info and let him do what he wants