So I’ve been with my man for four years now. We split up, and I had a one night stand and ended up getting pregnant and having a child with the other guy Long story short, my man and I worked everything out and got back together and are hoping to get married next year. The only problem is that the guy only wants to be in his child’s life because he claims he is in love (as of today) with me and want me for himself keep in mind when I broke it off with this guy a year ago, he harassed me sent me horrible texts (I need to kill myself and every name in the book) so I did take out a harassment charge against him… I told him I only want to co-parent and every time I drop my child off he wants to rub all over me and try to get back with me I DO NOT want anything to do with him I’ve told my man that and he just keeps blowing it off like it’s nothing, but I’m so uncomfortable, and all I want is a civil thing for our child he doesn’t understand that! So he took me to court wanting 20 days out the month, and I only get 10…he didn’t come to get her three times already and decided to go out to the local bar instead… I don’t know what else to do. I have a lawyer, but I just feel like I’m not going ANYWHERE with this any advice will help
Have someone else do the exchange, or at a police station.
Have your man do the drop offs
Lawyer, parenting plan, supervised visits. Especially if there’s a order against him, the judge will take that into consideration. Either have your man with you when you drop off or meet in a public place with witnesses.
Document everything. You’ll need it.
I don’t talk to mine 
I wonder what he saying or doing to y’alls kid. That’s strange behavior
Cant figure this out?
What they 
said.
Come on. You know better girl
Get Ur man to drop Ur child off to her Dad.
Don’t take your kid over there anymore, that doesn’t sound like a safe environment
Have someone else take your child
My ex was doing that to me. Grabbing at me, trying to forcefully kiss me, etc. I told the court this and they said from now on we had to have someone else do drop offs
Hes in love after a one night stand?? Its sounds like theres more to it… TBH it doesnt sound healthy so save the drama for yourself n dont bother with this man. Dont put your baby in that mess either
Go back to court, get supervised drop offs and visits for him.
Lawyer. Court. You get majority custody he gets every other weekend. Dropoff /pickup at police station or through a daycare
Don’t take him to his dad m. Meet somewhere mutral
Sounds like a dangerous situation building up. I’d get a lawyer and get things on file. Your kid is just pawn in this. You need to keep her safe. He does not sound safe. You may want to get a paternity test as well just in the off chance you luck out and shes actually you mans child instead of the one night stand.
My bf and his ex only communicate thur a court approved texting app. When we pick up they come from her house to our car. When she picks up they go from our house to her car. No interaction. There are also safe places that you drop off tge child once you leave he picks up. If he no shows it is documented.
Get rid of your man…useless.
Get ex psych exam.
Document everything.
Do exchange at police station.
If your man is just blowing it off maybe you should rethink both of them. This is a problem, never go back to someone that abused you and never settle for someone who won’t stick up for you or protect you. Just my opinion…
He wants to control you. Nothing he says is about you or the child. It’s all about getting something he wants. Have your man or another mediator do the drop offs. Mediators for everything
You made your beds now lye in them
Have him pick her up at your mother’s or a relative , you drop her off the let him know he can go pick her up once you’ve left
Cunt don’t you know about condoms
It also seems that your not 100% sure who the father is . I would start with that . Have someone go with you when you drop the child .All the way to the door. See if that helps. Sounds like you may have your hands full whether he’s the father or not. The sooner you find that out ; the better off you’ll be. You will know where to go from there.
Do your drop offs at a police station. That way if he harasses you you have local law enforcement there. You can also arrange for local police to be at your designated meeting spot.
Do NOT, under any circumstances, go in his house when you drop off your child! Always have someone with you whenever you drop off and pick up. Keep a diary of everything.
you better get away dont marry this man
Get a DNA test if you havent already, get a notebook and write EVERYTHING down, dates times places, when he calls, when he picks up, when he doesnt. And make the exchange at the police station. I’d say a public place but people dont get involved anymore, they just sit and watch with their eyes big and their mouth shut. After a while of documenting take him to court and reduce his visits.
Get a better attorney and next time he tries to put his hands on you call the police
Stop contact. I had to do it with an ex and the court backed me 100% and he had a top solicitor too. That behaviour is out of order. I know you have tried to do your best, but a safe, loving environment comes first. Kids first always
What is your lawyer saying or having you do?
Is any of this being documented?
Do you have a dash cam or someone who goes with you?
Restraining Order! Go to court and lock his ass up if he violates the order. He won’t bother you again
Have someone else pick up your kids and drop them off. My ex used to pull that crap .
Have a mediator drop the child off,u want have to ever see him
Needy to Stalker to Killer…one night stand without protection got you here (no need to bash here) and now you have a mentally unstable person in your life forever. Can’t do a restraining order since you share a child. Record the missed pickup’s and talk to lawyer about a police station pickup. Avoid any contact at your home and make it public in the future, never go to his home to drop off either. Your lawyer will have the best advice for your STATE, each have different laws with dealing with this. Good Luck
You’re leaving a whole lot out of this story and slanting it in your favor and it’s obvious. Nobody can advise correctly as long as you’re lying.
First, get a new lawyer
Honestly, every time I read these gan wuestions
Have ur man drop the child off.
Have your mom/dad/aunt/sister someone in your family do drop offs and pick ups.
Why did they award him 20 days and you only 10?
Punch him in the throat the next time he touches you
Press Charges on him for touching you. There is NO NEED FOR HIM TO TOUCH YOU FOR ANY REASON!
Do drop offs at police station in lobby area…
I would document everytime hes supposed to get her and didnt show with dates I have been doing that the past 4 years now and finally have enough to go back to court and hopefully get full custody I pray anyways I do. My daughters dad is werid like that he stares and when he “comes to see his daughter” he only asks about me and just stares me down the whole time doesnt even acknowledge my daughter & doesnt show up either he disappears for months and pops up in the summer.
Record him. Take someone with you. Have a family member drop your child off. Call the police for sexual harrasment. I’ve gone through this. Once I started recording him the bullshit stopped. He knew he would be in trouble if he didn’t. Try to be as quick as you can with the drop offs. Give your kid a kiss bye and hug and then let him get her ready to go and you leave. Don’t stand around giving that extra time for him to do something.
Have someone else be the drop off or pick up if possible. Maybe even ur man 
. Just saying kids need both parents but it is unfair he’s doing all that to u.
Have someone else drop her off and pick her up or meet at the police station.
Get someone to do drop offs with you. Or meet in a public place?
Also would help wonders if you could get your drop off and pick up location changed to the police station. I did and my ex didn’t do anything further with the sexual harrasment. How ever he did get a little more vile towards me which was one of the many reasons of why I started recording our drop offs.
Something is not right if you only get 10 days as a mother and he gets 20
You could meet in a public place for drop off or have someone else drop off.
3rd party drop offs n pick ups
Set up pick up and drop off at police station
Drop off and pick up inside police station or ask lawer to request JUDGE TO APPOINT ANOTHER ADULT to drop off and pick up or always take someone else with you
Your man should be on your side, helping you out. I’d question marrying this guy if he’s blowing off a problem that is bothering you so much.
Okay forget everything else, how is it that he managed to get 20 days out of the month? There’s a lot missing out of this story. I mean a HUGE chunk. If you want advice you need to give the ENTIRE story. Not just the parts that make it seem like you’re a victim.
Curb side pick up can be court ordered. That way you’re outside and not in an area where he can make you feel uncomfortable you can even have someone else do the dropping off and pick up for you. Maybe make it your boyfriend now since he helps you raise the kid on your time. In my opinion your man is in a hard place. If he tried to do anything at the fact that he’s touchy with you the baby’s dad could use it in court and make it so he’s not allowed to be around the kid. ALWAYS be the bigger person the courts don’t want to see your ex and our current boyfriend fighting. Do everything your suppose to as the mother and keep your lawyer and things will work out
Get your fella to do drop off
Don’t agree to the 20/10 days, if the agreement is already in place, then I’d go back to court!!! Drop off should be at Police/ Sheriff’s dept.
First off why isn’t your man blasting him and why arent you stand up for yourself.
I would request to have drop off in a public place, not at any of the houses. Also maybe ask to have someone else appointed to do the drop offs/pick ups. Document the sexual harassment if you can. Good luck.
Have your guy go with you or someone else to go with you if you dont fell comfortable. Meet in a public area
Have someone else transport your child to his place.
If you can change your number and quit taking your child to him. It’s sexual harassment and there’s a law against that. If he uses your lawyer to communicate there will probably be a hour rate. So be careful with that. Is there any way you can bring a witness for the drop offs. Find out about the law on sexual harassment. No one deserves that!!
Tell him you have herpes 
You can go to the courts and they can set up a meeting in public with witnesses
I’m getting the feeling he isn’t doing this to see the child. He’s doing this to torment you. Document when he’s scheduled to get her and don’t show. Document the sexual harassment. Notify your lawyer of his actions and press charges if you need to. If he ever wants to truly see his child. Do a public drop off.
Court and ask for public exchanges bc he doesn’t respect your boundaries.
This story sounds fishy btw.
I hope hes not already got 20 days and is only trying to get them
Hes missed 3 visits already
Take him to court to redo parenting plan
Get restraint order where he has to use 3rd party to pick him up
Ur ex sounds crazy
Ur bf should be more supportive
Although hes not controlling it ur in control of it
U need to report him when. Hes violating restraint order.
Problem fixed
Change lawyers if you feel like they are not helping you. Second have it set up where someone you trust either drops the child off at meet ups or have someone go with you.
go back to court to arrange to have him pick up the child at the police station and when he doesn’t pick up the child it will be documented then you can go back to court and modify visitation
Do custody exchanges at local police precinct. They are more than happy to assit you
Take him back to court. Him not showing up for visitation is contempt. Next time you drop your child off and he tries touching you in a way you dont like please don’t hesitate to call the police
I’m confused
If it was a one night stand how did you “break it off”
It sounds more like you had an actual relationship with this man and he can’t let you go
This is confusing as fk. Been with the guy for 4 years had a one night stand with someone else, broke it off with him a yr ago and he wants you back??
Go to court keep documentation of every text. Make sure u always gave someone with u for drop offs till u can get a court date to get this situation evaluated.
Take a step back, think about your kids, this not about you,
A one night stand? You told him you were pregnant? Why is he so obsessed after one night? Exchange at police dept. No going to any home. Not yours or his. Odd your man doesn’t care though at least to me. He may not care about this child? 20/10 is unreasonable unless there was a reason which I didn’t see. Your attorney isn’t helping? Why? This person is being paid to help you so I question that.
He sounds like a control freak,
Be cautious around him…
Maybe take someone with you when you drop off child, or have someone there when he comes to get…once he realizes you won’t be alone with him he may get nasty…record everything…dates times, conversation, maybe record on your phone, put on as he is walking up