My childs father is not allowed to come see our child without his girlfriend of 4 months there…if she isnt there neither is he and I do not feel comfortable with it as I do not want her around my child when she is so new herself…plus she doesnt even like kids…he cant come to school functions…family get togethers…anything unless she is there and if she isnt there he will NOT show…is there anythign legally i can do about this?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My childs fathers girlfriend will not let him see our kid without being there: Advice?
He is choosing his girlfriend over his child. But I don’t understand why you are supervising the visits. It seems a bit controlling, unless he is a bad dad. He is allowed to date other women and see how she treats the child. You can only hope to be lucky enough that his girlfriend will love your child as she will be helping raise your little one. Co-parenting isn’t control and the better you work together the happier the child.
Stop supervising his visits. You only allow him to see his kid if your there monitoring.
He’s avoiding you not the child. Also you already the problem. New girlfriend is not the problem . He’s the problem for not wanting to see his kid without her. She’s controlling too… doesn’t want u and him together spending time like old times.
Stop trying to force him to do family functions with u. He is supposed to have his own parenting time without you there. Even overnights.
Umm guys I don’t think she is trying to “control” the situation. It’s clear she is concerned cuz there’s a new girlfriend already making demands which include co-parenting at the very least. If anything give her props cuz at the end of the day she is trying to establish a good co parenting relationship and and keep the situation safe/healthy the 4 month old controlling girlfriend shouldn’t be making demands this early and that definitely isn’t healthy for the kiddos to see. She never mentioned she had him under supervised visits except the fact the father can’t attend routine school events, extracurricular activities that the child is involved in that the mother is also responsible for without his girlfriend of 4 months there. The relationship is super toxic and to me, not safe for your child. If he’s choosing her over your child then it’s not cool and goes to show a lot about him as a man and as a father. There have been orders placed where the mother or father can’t have overnight guests, or no intro to child within a certain period of time. Depending on the state you live in. I would document everything and maybe talk to your attorney to see if there’s anything that can be done. Good luck momma.
It’s up to him to put his foot down with her if he cares enough and wants to see his kid. You can maybe put in a custody order that no new spouses are allowed around for a certain amount of time. But you can’t force him to be involved if he chooses her over his child.
I know of someone who had a stipulation in the visitation orders regarding this kind of situation w/ a father and girlfriend(s), and it was ruled that his time with his child was to be just that to create a bond and not have the child have to share their fathers attention. If it becomes serious/long term then the father was to introduce the girlfriend to the mother and let them come to an agreement when/how to proceed with introducing them to the child. But that I’m sure depended on specific circumstances. The state your in. And the Judge who’s ruling.
Good Luck.
That’s a crappy situation. I would maybe try to build a civil relationship with her for the sake of the child. I totally understand you not being comfortable with her around since the relationship is so new though.
But if the dad isn’t willing to put his foot down with her (which he should) then I would try to set your feelings aside and try to get to know her a little better and maybe with that, she will be more comfortable with your child’s father going to things without her there. It sounds like there’s a trust issue in their relationship and that’s something they’re going to have to work on, but it shouldn’t get in the way of him being a father to his child.
I don’t believe there is anything legal you can do about it unless there’s something in visitation about how much time has to be before child meeting a SO. Over all I always feel like there isn’t much the courts do with even those situations. You can always document. But it’s up to him how he let’s his relationship go. Sounds very toxic for him but beyond the safety and welfare of your child I don’t believe much can be done. Keep an eye on your child and focus on their health and happiness.
You can have a custody agreement to where new relationships most be a certain amount of time before they are introduced to the kids otherwise you don’t have a say in what or who the child sees during his times with the kid or school functions. Family get togethers are a little different because if your family then they would have to invite her.
Ummmm, you are the mother and you have some say in this. I’m concerned how a grown man is allowing a new woman of only 4 months dictate when he can see his kid and she having to be there. No. Just no. You need to sit with HIM and him alone and record the convo and ask him straight up why she has to be there for school things and all the time he spends with his kid, explain you don’t want to confuse the kid right now and you would be more welcoming if it was a serious situation and them having been in a relationship for a year… it’s been FOUR months. You aren’t saying she can’t be with them at the park or whatever BUT it will be confusing and upsetting getting a child used to seeing different partners so soon into a relationship. I mean, I have dropped men after 6 months. She is controlling and manipulative and if this continues and he lets her dictate his time with his child then you two may need to get a mediator. He needs ONE ON ONE bonding time with his kid and after he has been dating this woman for more than 6 months THEN maybe let the girlfriend tag along for a dinner or something. It has evil stepmother vibes all over it. Huge red flags
It’s wrong for her to do that but unfortunately you have no say what father does on his time or who he has around.
Nothing I don’t think you can do legally. All you can do is try to make him see what she is doing to his and your guys child’s relationship.
The only person that can decide that he’s going to be a father is him. No judge will order him to get the child. They will set up custody/visitation, and they will enforce a mother to give visitation but they won’t enforce the father to take visitation.
The only thing you can really do is the best you can by your child.
Y’all need to grow up for the sake of your kids.
No no no he does not want to see his child. He could easily put her in his place, or take you to court for visitation.
Nope, nothing you can do,evidently he likes controlling women….you know….women just like you.
You mean your child’s FATHER is choosing not to see your child because his girlfriend doesn’t want him to…place the blame where it belongs. And yes, you can put a stipulation in a visitation order.
Be happy you have made his life more miserable
For legal advice ask your lawyer