My dad admitted he took my daughter out of the country without asking me...advice?

My daughter is 4.5 now. When she was 2 my dad took her to California to visit my sister and he kids. Today he’s talking about planning a trip for all of us to Mexico and we told him okay but not for another year or two so we can all get our passports and save up enough and then he starts talking about how you don’t need a passport, especially the baby since he already took her there and they didn’t have any problems going over the border or coming back. On one hand this was 2.5 years ago but on the other he never had permission to take her out of the country I feel like anything could have happened and it would have been a lot more complicated since it’s outside of the US or what if they couldn’t make it back into the border? and the fact that he never told me until now and on accident. How would you react?

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She should be alone with him and make sure everyone knows your feelings.

Where are you based? Are you living in the US or elsewhere

Girl, come on…
Keep reaching!
You will eventually find what you are looking for.

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Get over it. It was 2 years ago. Nothing happened. Be grateful you have a father that wants to be present and make memories with you’re daughter.

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We’ve gone shopping across the border without a passport.

You can go x miles over the border without a passport.

My question is if they took your child did you not know?

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It’s great he’s I’m her life but what if something happened while they were there… she had no idea they were in Mexico…the least he could have done was have a conversation around the plan and where they were going.

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Take his daughter out of the country without telling him. See how he likes it.

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Did u not ask what they got up to while he had your daughter? How could u not know ya kid was out the country! But shes home and has been for the last 2.5 years! Maybe no point now having a go, nothing happened, everyone is fine…

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I would be upset but I also wouldn’t dwell on it because it’s 2 years ago. But I agree, anything could have happened, what if she got hurt or sick enough to need a hospital, what if they couldn’t have made it back, etc

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That is absolutely not ok. I think I’d have a very firm conversation with him. It’s been a long time so to make a huge fight about it now is kinda pointless. However my child would never go with him for a trip alone again

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He’d never be taking my child on a trip away without me again.

What was the purpose of the trip ? Does he have family in Mexico ? I think the purpose is needed befor a full judgment

Mexico ain’t a safe place. Get a passport and when you go don’t take your eyes of your kid for one second.

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I don’t understand why people are laughing. That’s the last place I’d want to take my kids. Trafficking is so bad and only getting worse. All it takes is a second, blink and your kid could disappear. I wouldn’t allow my parents to take my kids anywhere after that. I would have a hard time just communicating with them. But I guess not everyone thinks about everything wrong with the country, either. I’d be pissed.

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I want to apologize to the original poster. I missunderstood the first time. I don’t know what would possess him to do that, but it’s not okay. Again, I am sorry.

I can only say I wish my kids had grandparents that wanted to spend time with them. I see your point though.

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I would be incredibly angry, and whoever it was would never be alone with my child again. You feelings are 100% valid.
However, this falls on you as well. How did you not know? You knew he took your child to California, did you not check in with her or speak to her at all?
When my child spends the night somewhere other than home I’m always in contact with her. Even if it is just to say Goodnight and she is 11, I could not imagine not speaking to her at the age of 2yrs old.
There is alot of unanswered information in this scenario.

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Well it was only Mexico but that’s just this time! I would be so irate idk I couldn’t ever trust him prob ever again bc was that just a test?? Where’s he spiriting off to next ah no no not good mama you are not being out of line to be mad af about it!!!

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I’d never see him again. That is serious. Like, trust broken forever. No way.

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Your child, your say! You have every right to be pissed

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How did you not know were he’d taken her :flushed: he must have had her for a long time? Get over it, it happened two yr ago! Swear people love drama :roll_eyes:

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Simple. You don’t ever allow him to take the kids or be with the kids unsupervised. If he lives close to the border and just went for a day you say let me know in the future. A planned vacation? No way.

Something doesn’t add up. Did you not bother to call and check on your kid the whole trip? Yes he should have asked 1st but it also sounds like you were not in contact to check on your daughter at all.

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Nah you have every right to be pissed. If my kids grands took them out of the country without asking I would be done with them, no trust no kids :woman_shrugging: he could have asked first. We don’t do the ask later, and forgive bullshit here.
Tbh I would not let them have my kids without supervision. You trusted him and look what he did. I don’t care how long ago it was

People really telling her to get over it? Do you know how many children are trafficked through that baja and Cali border smdh

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2.5 yrs ago and you just find out so up to this point yeah who cares :laughing: :rofl: :joy:

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He would never have her again.he’s not trustworthy

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As far as I know, California is in the US… LOL. He shouldn’t have done it, but maybe you should keep a closer watch on people that has your children. Aint s***, you can do about It now move on

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Well. Nothing happened and for 2 years you have been fine and your daughter well. So tell him clearly to never do that again—or opt to not let him take her unsupervised if he’s a whack-a-doo kind of pops and oblivious to common sense… for now, keep it pushing.

He wouldn’t have any more of my babies, I’d pull it out by the roots

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It was two years ago. That doesn’t make it any better. Have a long conversation with him and move forward.

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Where were you that you didn’t realize your baby was in California?

I would b upset and not trust him but how did you not know

How did you not know? How long was she gone? We’re you guys not in contact? I just can’t get my head around how you couldn’t know

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I would be very angry and my child wouldn’t ever spend alone time with him again. She is home safe with you now so I wouldn’t dwell on the what if’s since you are going to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

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I’d let it go since it was so long ago, but I’d never let her go on a trip with him alone ever again :woman_shrugging:t2:

I’m more focused on how anybody could have your kid so long that you don’t even know where they are.

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Let him know u would like a heads up or for him to ask you in the future, and explain your concerns. But don’t go too hard on him. It is hard to get grandparents involved these days. Enjoy the love they have. Just make sure he understands you want him to communicate your intentions in the future. Maybe he thought you’d make a big deal so he decided to just do it. Which isn’t ok, but maybe just calmly handle this.

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California into Mexico is like a day trip depending on where they are. He probably didn’t think anything of it. Ask him to tell you next time especially for safety, you should know where she is at all times.

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I would be livid :woman_shrugging:t4: He wouldn’t have my kids alone anymore thats for sure. What if there had been a medical emergency or something and you couldn’t even get to her? Absolutely not something you just oopsie fib about to a parent, trust would be broken for a long time.

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It’s been two years, honestly don’t make a huge deal but let him know you aren’t comfortable with your child going into Mexico. I’m surprised he had no issues getting her back in, I was in Tijuana last year and was questioned about my 2 year old but understand for safety. Still if I were in your shoes although I love and trust my parents (they have taken my oldest on vacation to FL a few times) I understand the fear of my child in Mexico with all the dangers (not that we don’t have dangers in the US )

But also why didn’t your sister tell you? And as others have mentioned how did you not check on her during the day? Was it a few days or a one day visit into Mexico? I think this all doesn’t fall on him.

My first thought was how did he even manage to take your child to Mexico without your knowledge? I mean how long was she with him? Mine only stayed at most a night with my mother at that age, and I would notice if they were in the sun, I always call no matter who has them and see what going on, where they are. What they are doing… I’d be upset I wasn’t aware.

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Easy fix- he never travels with your child alone again.

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Why is your Dad taking her alone…on trips…to begin with?

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You have a right to be pissed… but on the other hand why didn’t u check on your daughter daily! I just don’t get it!

How did you not know they were out of the country

He would never take my kid anywhere again!!

I mean it’s been 2.5 years :roll_eyes:

I’d never let him take my child anywhere again.

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You better have a good talk with him. That is so very wrong. Don’t ever let him do tat again and especially Mexico. Is he nuts?

Did your dad lie to you? That what it sounds like. I’d be mad as heck. No way would my 11 year old go that far. He may went out of state but not no country! I talked to him everyday when he was gone. He was a lot smaller then. I think he lied to you cause that was his plan the whole time to take her out of the country and tell you something different. He knew you wouldn’t allow that to happen so he did what he did and lied. I know it was couple years ago, but you now finding out, I’d be mad too, anything can happen to a child. It happens all over the world.

How did u not realise your daughter was out the country lol

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I was under the understanding that’s illegal and I can’t do that without written consent?

Wow all yall saying this and that, pretty sure your alls parents raised you and here you all are! Lol I understand I’d want to know as well but I wouldn’t be flipping out or not talking to my dad or mom

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Well it’s too late to be upset. Forgive it. Viva la Mexico. She’s fine. Could’ve and would’ve but didn’t. Go enjoy a nice family vacation with grandpa and have fun it’s beautiful there and there are safe areas as much as terrible areas just like anywhere else. Personally I wouldn’t be angry, it’s in the past and wasn’t detrimental or traumatic. Think about it. :kissing_heart:

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I’m sorry to say this (and others may not agree with me) but that’s something that would lead me to never allowing my kid to sleep over again.

That is WAY too risky.

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I’d be mad but its been done and nothing happened but definitely let him know that he can’t do that again.

Great news nothing bad happened my question is how was your daughter gone so long and you had no clue

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Wth?? How did you not know ? For how long?

He wouldn’t be taking my kid alone ever again :woman_shrugging:

How did you not know he took her to Mexico? Even if it was a day trip, do you not check up on her? Or I don’t understand how you wouldn’t have known that

He would be cut off immediately. Wtf is wrong with him?! You don’t EVER take a baby somewhere without asking the parents, let alone out of the COUNTRY. This would be unforgivable to me. Hope “pulling one over” on me is worth never seeing your granddaughter again :woman_shrugging:t2:

yeah so no more alone time with grandpa bc absolutely not.

Obviously something ain’t adding up because she started off with saying her dad took her 2 year old out of the country. Then says he took her to California. And starts talking about her dad planning a trip to Mexico and how her daughter has already been. It’s obvious the daughter was gone for days going to California and Mexico you can’t do that all in one day. So first off which is it? And why did she not have any communication with her dad to be able to speak with her daughter

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What done is done . But you ain’t taking the kid again

I’d lose my shit and he wouldn’t be allowed to see my daughter without me present…

So for your dad to take your daughter out of the country the child had to be with him for a while or you would have been aware of them being gone. If your dad takes care of your daughter then be happy and don’t complain or you could just hire a babysitter. Some of you younger folks want you cake and eat it too. You all think only you can do everything right but you still expect people to take care of your children. Yes he should have mentioned it but be glad he included you guys instead of having vacation by themselves

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I think ur mad about Symantec’s and what ifs! None of the what ifs happened and u let him take her to another state. Which by the way could cause just as many complications if not more with the things u brought up. Like if your dad got arrested in another state well having your daughter she would then go into that’s states cps system and good luck with that! Something can always happen no matter what state or country u go to……if u have fears a. Don’t put that on others and b. Don’t let people take ur kid outside the state your in without you period! Live and learn don’t freak on your dad!

So your dad was watching your kid and you’re mad because he traveled out of the country with them?! How freaking long did he have your kid?! lol okay…?! my parents won’t watch my kids longer than a couple hours maximum lol

Idk why anyone is going thru and laughing at the comments. Weird… but anyway. This is your baby. And for everyone saying she shouldn’t be upset. Like what!!! Because it’s her dad he’s supposed to get a pass for doing something she wouldn’t be OK if anyone else did it?? That’s clingy as hell. That’s that whole family is family bs. I’m sorry but no. Rules and expectations should apply to everyone. In fact family should treat you better than a random person who doesn’t owe u anything. But we allow “FAMILY” to treat us worse. It’s a no for me.

Sorry this happened mama. Your baby is home and she’s safe. But going forward I would be very careful who and when and for how long you allow them access to your child. Hugs mama!

Oh, I’d be very upset. The loss of trust is very obvious. My parents would never have done this and I would never take my grandchildren over the border either.
We are Canadian, living about one hour from Port Huron, MI. This past spring, my 11 year old grandson had a hockey game in Michigan. My son has a passport but my grandson didn’t. My daughter-in-law didn’t go along. Before their trip, my son called Border Services to see what the criteria would be.
All my son needed to do was provide my grandson’s birth certificate and a signed letter from his wife stating that she gives permission for my grandson to cross the border.
I know these are Canadian :arrow_right: to the USA rules, but from reading other comments, I’m thinking that American rules to another country are more strict. Do you think you Dad is pulling your leg?

Oh my………. but at some point you have let it go and live on. Lesson learned: the kids don’t vacation with Gramps again alone.

I’d raise hades and document it immediately -
Then I’d make sure he’d face kidnapping charges if he so much as “borrowed” my kid again.

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Thats illegal. Ur supposednto get a document with ur permission. So he def had it forged.

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I’d react very badly. You’re right to be concerned. He’s wrong for assuming he doesn’t need to respect that she is YOUR CHILD. Pretty sure I’d never trust him again.

Your worried about Mexico? The United states accounts for 52% of the world’s human trafficking. In the United states, traffickers bring in 9.5 BILLION dollars ANNUALLY. California,Texas, and Georgia are where trafficking happens the most in the US. You allowed him to go to California knowing it’s known for trafficking. But your worried about him crossing an imaginary line that govts made called the border? If the govt didn’t tell you where they put that imaginary line, you’d have no idea you were crossing it. It sounds like it was a short day trip. He probably didn’t think it was an issue. You are concerned about it now but not then? You didn’t call to check on your daughter daily? What COULD have happened, DIDNT HAPPEN. What could have happened, could happen ANYWHERE. Why waste your energy crying now? What was he supposed to do? Call you and tell you to come get your kid because they were going for a short trip? Get over it. It’s pointless being angry. How is it going to help anything? It’s not like he abducted her. She was traveling with them.

How tf did you not know where your child was?

eh. lol i guess im to easy gping or just don’t care about things like this. it was such a long time ago why be angry over something that all ready happened. just make sure he knows to tell you next time. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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I would smack the shit out of him.

Yeah. That’s not true. Even newborns need a passport to cross borders. Tell him to go ahead and take her without a passport. Just be at the airport with them so you can take her home when they won’t let her get on the plane…

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How do you not know where your kid is

I’m surprised he was able to. When my son was a baby I tried to take him to Canada. I was told I had to have his father’s written permission & ID. I am his biological & legal mother. This was 20 years ago. But I’m surprised mexico would allow a non-parent to take a child across the border.

I’d be furious. He wouldn’t be allowed to take my child anywhere. Not even the corner store without me being present. What he did was kidnapping. He had your permission to take her to California. That’s as far as he should’ve gone with her.

Ill be pissed. Let him know that was not ok

I would be soooo pisssed and my trust would be broken. He lied!! Intentionally lied!! How do u forget to mention u left the country??

For one, I’m pretty sure that’s illegal and classified as abduction. Taking your child anywhere without your explicit permission is a huge NO. A PARENT can’t take a kid out of the country without the other PARENTS permission. Some custody agreements you can’t even take them out of the state without permission. How her Dad thought that was okay, I have no idea.

I wouldn’t start a fight now, but I wouldn’t trust them to travel alone again. There’s no reason why he couldn’t have asked.

And a quick Google search will tell you the baby needs a passport!

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No respect for you at all

Makes me wonder if he got his granddaughter to mule some drugs. Just a thought. On this subject I’d be pissed if someone took my child out of the country without my permission !

Grow the fuck up thats your father lmao not a stranger

I seriously hate you all. Yall have become these overprotective monsters of parents. Did anything happen? No. Did anything go wrong? No. Are you more in danger walking around Chicago then Mexico? Yes. I mean for fucks sake they were in California. You can goto San francisco and see a junkie with a needle hanging out his arm jerking off while asking you for a dollar.

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