My father had never been in my life when I was younger. He moved to Kansas before I was born to escape the drug scene here in California. Since relocating, he had found a special someone, and together they have three beautiful children aged 10, 6, and a 10mth old. I’ve met the oldest two but wasn’t in the state when the baby was born. Before she arrived, they hit a rough patch and have been broken up ever since. The thing is with this woman; she’s considerably younger than my dad, has always had her parents to fall back on during the financial crisis, and has never understood the behavior of an addict. Since splitting up, she has cut off all contact between myself and my siblings through her. She went to court, trashed my father’s name, ruined 20+ year relationships and friendships, and was granted full custody. My father gets supervised visits with her mother, which never happens because the whole family hates him. My father has been reduced to nothing without this woman, without his kids. For months he would call me every night sobbing because he doesn’t understand why she cheated, then flipped it around and made herself the victim. She does not support him whatsoever and thrives on seeing him fail/suffer. He’s lost jobs, lost his home, lost everything because of all the drama with this woman. My question is, what can I do? I want my siblings to grow up with their father in their lives, I didn’t, and it really took a toll on me. I have less than four family members alive, and this woman is determined to keep the kids from me. She lies about everything, is fake and malicious. Shes made it to where I want to drive out there and kick her booty. I’ve tried talking nicely to her and kissing her ass to be able to be around my siblings, but she just won’t budge. Help?
Records everytime and everything she says keep it,text or whatever that too its prove bring that to court that sound isnt fair for him and you too.
There is nothing you can do. They arent your children. Your dad can get an attorney and go back to court but if he was already given only supervised visitations there is something he isnt telling you the whole truth about. They don’t just do that for no reason. Lies dont do that, only actual evidence does.
Take her to court for siblings rights. Then when u have a chance to see those kids .have ur dad around as well.
U have to accept the things u cant control
Focus ur energy on ur relationship with ur dad
After they r 18 u can see them
Sorry
It’s not worth it becuz its actually his battle to fight
Grandparents have rights
Which they need an attorney to see grandchildren
I havent heard of siblings having rights…only that they share time when their parents have parenting time
Move on
Well if the court has ordered the visitation then it not being done she can be held in contempt of court and he should notify the court or if he has a lawyer let them!! He can also request you to have visitation with the kids with or without him!
Firstly, your dad can file contempt if he’s not getting court appointed visitation.
Additionally, he needs to do what he can to prove that he is not what she claims. Be it regular drug testing, counseling, whatever.
If and when your dad can afford it he needs to take her back to court to have the parenting plan adjusted
There’s not a lot you personally can do. Some states do allow siblings visitation and some do not (that is entirely dependent on the state your siblings live in). Otherwise, be supportive and encouraging.
Sounds like your so called sperm donor is a real loser
Lawyer it up… A judge might grant you to visit
Hire a private detective and prove her dishonesty.
He can document everything text and email and wen she doint let him see his children if it’s court ordered far the visit she can get in trouble if she doint let him see the children and he needs to talk to a attorney about it all and hire one and fight far his cost or right
You have rights as their sister. Go to court yourself and get visitations. Even if its only a weekly phone call and a visit each summer. You have a right to see them and they have a right to know you. As long as you’re a normal decent person who genuinely loves them and is a good.role model.
Nothing you can really do.until they are older
Sorry hon. But you may have to wait till your siblings are old enough to seek you out.
This is the wrong crowd to be asking for advice about father’s rights or anything like that. I suggest The Father’s Rights Movement page to start.
If he gets court ordered supervised visits, and they’re denying him that, I’d take her back to court and let them know she’s in contempt.
You can not win this battle. It is better to wait until they are grown, and then don’t talk bad about their mother,
Did your dad do drugs. Is he still doing them
I think it’s sad you’re without your siblings but I also think it’s sad you’re only seeing your fathers side. You don’t know what went on inside their relationship, he left you. He’s capable of unkindness and to be extremely honest, she’s the children’s mother. Whatever she does for their safety and best interest is within her right. This post alone sounds a lot like enabling. I hope you’re able to reconnect with the children but I think you should remove yourself from your dads narrative. What if he was your partner. What if those were your kids. What would you do. I’d keep trying from a safe distance to let his ex know that you are NEUTRAL. Your dad is an adult. The children are the main concern. Your dad should get some help to aid him in this breakup.
Your dad needs to document every time she refuses to let him have his visits. Like literally call the cops up to wherever the visit is supposed to take place. That way the judge sees he is trying & she is not playing her part. This happened to my friend. He ended up having alternate weekends after about a year of fighting. It takes a while but possibly the only way.
Its called the “silver bullet” alot of father’s rights groups use this term. Its when the women goes in with a bunch of lies and makes herself the victim and absolutely no proof is needed. It helps them get full custody. Like she did. Your options are pretty scarce. There isn’t anything u can do besides reach out to her. Sadly this isn’t your fight, your dad is guna have to jump through hoops and do what they ask of him. As long as he does the visits and document when they deny him then he’ll eventually get his time with his kids. Its guna be long uphill battle, but he can’t give up. Just be a loving encouraging daughter thats all u can really do. Also I’d recommend to him looking into the father’s rights Movement every state has its own chapter. Goodluck.
Kansas is a “Mother State” through and through. It will take a ton of court and documentation to get things to change.
First of all you say your father was a addict, do you know for sure he is clean you are saying he lost he’s house loses jobs and that is signs of addiction.
If he is clean he can take her to court for not contempt if he chooses to do nothing I would say maybe drugs are still involved.
If he has court ordered supervised visitations, her mother has to abide by that. If she’s not she’s in contempt of court. Start off there.
If you are above a certain age and if you have your life together that you are allowed to take her to court and get custody or allow them to make supervised visits. As you are blood related you are allowed. Apart from that, you would have to wait until they are 16-18 years old.
one thing I learned about family court is that someone’s word, or opinions do not matter. Courts go based off of facts/evidence. That being said, if she was granted full custody and he was granted supervised visitations, that should be strong enough evidence for you to understand that your father is not being completely truthful with you. the courts will try there best to mediate and grant both parents custody at the very least. Their concern is what is in the best interest of the children, and in this case it was his wife. I know laws vary from state, but to grant custody to one parent and not the other shows that he is not fit.
Unfortunately the only way to do anything is for your dad to take her to court. If he is trying to see his kids then she and her mother can be charged with contempt of court for not allowing him to see them. He needs to document everything as far back as he can or when the last time they went to court was. He will need to get a lawyer and get all the proof he can to show everything.
He needs to document everything, text messages, record phone calls, messages anything he could find!
Just a little confused, who is the addict, her or your dad?
Depending on your state you may be able to get siblings rights if you want to get a lawyer and go to court. Otherwise, just wait it out.
If she is not giving him the supervised visits, then she can be held in contempt of court! He needs to document everything! Every time he ask for the visits and is denied! Anything she does that is wrong or harmful toward the kids or not letting the supervised visitations happen, document! He needs proof of this stuff in court and just remember it can go both ways which, i would think by the way it sounds to have that much control over destroying his life she is already documenting stuff, whether it be only the part that makes her look good and him look bad, or the whole situation that makes him look bad, or past things. He needs a really good lawyer and also needs to work on himself, get a good job and some sort of home for the kids to come when he is allowed for them to come.
Moms say here all the time, “dont accept me and you dont get a relationship with my kids”. And everyone agrees!
Now think of what your sibs mother is thinking. It’s obvious you side with your dad and dont think too much of her either. Why would she want you spending time with her children?
My advise, and I’m always right, reach out to her. Listen to her side of the story. Your dad doesnt have a good history with fatherhood, you admit that. Is it such a stretch to think he may not be as innocent as you think? Hell, I dont even know him and think that!
If you want to see those kids you ought to at least hear her side to be fair. And Jesus, if you’re slamming her like you’ve done here, stop! You’re not helping the situation.
I promise you, if you come
after her legally you’ll lose and blow ANY chance of ever seeing them.
What makes you think she’s lying?
She has in her story that the wife never understood the behavior of an addict, and never supported him, which means daddy was a druggie, and everyone one wants to act like the wife is in the wrong.
sorry, but your dad is a grown up & as his daughter you can be supportive to him, but there has to a good reason why things are the way it is.
I say write a note to someone who knows your siblings with a different letter to give to your siblings for you explaining why your father and you are not able to see or contact them…
When it’s time, let the children know exactly what she did and she will regret it for the rest of her life
Sounds like kids are definitely not better with him since he doesn’t have his shit together. So firstly he needs to get a job, a home and get his life back on track. She doesn’t and never had to understand or be supportive of behaviors of a addict. If she isn’t letting him have the supervised visits then he needs to take it back to court. Courts didn’t just take his visits for nothing. She had solid proof that he was a danger in some way for that to happen.
You paint a very bleak picture of her but your father is am addict and has lost everything he probably wasn’t clean the entire time with her you have no idea what he put her through. It may suck that she doesn’t allow you to see your half siblings but maybe she just wants to protect her kids …there is reason that he gets supervised visitation don’t be so quick to think she is horrible maybe shes just tired of the addict 
Maybe there’s a lot more to the story then what your hearing 
You should be able to get sibling rights to where you can have visitation with them. You still may not be able to let your father around them tho.
Unfortunately sounds like karma is really a beast! Unfortunately this is your fathers road because of how involved he was with you. Your siblings will always be there as much as possible. Esp when they get older. Just be there when you can but like he did when you we’re younger you have to do what’s best for you.
Opinions do not matter without fact. She’s proved something somewhere for him to only have supervised visits. If he’s not getting that, go back to court!
What a horrible way for karma to bite him. Walked out on 1 kid and loses 3 
If he’s getting supervised visits and he’s not going then that’s on him I don’t care how bad somebody hated me I would want to see my children and make sure they were okay II your dad needs to step up get a job and start working towards getting them back go to court go to the visits and so forth before too long he can fight back and try to get at least shared custody both of them need to quit playing the victim and playing games the ones that are getting hurt are the children yes I said both your dad needs to stop being a victim and step up and be a man about this
So your dad is an addict, and you didn’t have him around, and you think that an addict should be around his kids unsupervised?
Maybe she didn’t trash his name, maybe he did that himself. Maybe she got out of an abusive and toxic situation.
Maybe she does understand addiction and that’s why she left, because she’s the one who lived it with him for years.
You’re enabling him to continue by not holding him accountable for HIS actions. If you want to help your dad, stop with the “she ruined his life” rhetoric. She didn’t ruin his life, he ruined his life. He was ruining hers. He was ruining his children’s lives.
She made the right choice by leaving him and putting her kids first.
Your dad is an addict and he did this to himself.
Hire private investigator
Look into the court system where you live. You may be able to file for visitation. If there is a court order that your father is to get supervised and he’s not getting it then he can file contempt charges. Unfortunately it’s a process and can be costly but affective if you can. Hope all works out!
Tough question.Most judges don’t believe someone based on just what they say.He needs a lawyer to fight for his rights…There may be more to the story.Im just saying somebody just making up stories without proof doesn’t usually fly in a court .