My Daughter Came Out and My Husband Started Treating Her Different…Advice?

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QUESTION:

"I am part of a blended family. Me and my husband met, he had 2 kids, I had 2 kids and we have one together. We’ve been together for 10 years now. The first 4 years he completely accepted my daughter, who was 4 at the time, when she turned 8 or 9, he is hard on her and only her. It makes me feel that he doesn’t like her, and it breaks my heart. She came out as Bi last year, and he has only gotten worse with the gay remarks. He makes he absolutely miserable. I am at my wits end. Any advice on what I should do in this situation, will be greatly appreciated!"

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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"Nip it in the bud, tell him to stop every time he says something and remind her that you love no matter what."

"Choose your CHILD over the BS he is putting her through"

"The answer is simple. LEAVE. Don’t subject your child to that."

"Plane and simple he either stop and treat her right or you and the kids your daughter and the other one that you guys have together split ur kids come before any man"

"It's really heartbreaking when you're in a situation that will break up your life. I would set boundaries with him and tell him he's no longer allowed to discipline her and you don't appreciate the passive-aggressive comments towards her even if they are in a joking manner. He would not stand for his children being treated differently and it will certainly put a strain on the way u feel about him if he's treating your daughter like crap"

"Leave him if he isn’t supportive of the kid, boy bye!"

"I would tell him either you accept her and treat her with the same respect you do all our kids or I am out"

"You need to protect your child above all else. Be reminded of all the kids committing suicide these days because they are not accepted. You don’t want that to be your daughter. Changes are in order."

"Gotta go. My kids come first."

"You need to make a point you’re not gonna stand for that shit. She doesn’t deserve that! Put your foot down!"

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It is very easy for others to say leave or get out - it’s not 10 years of their life. Having said that - I don’t disagree with them. I suggest get some counseling on how to set good boundaries and stick to them. There doesn’t always have to be an immediate leave button. I will tell you from my own experience though if you don’t nip this quickly you are probably going to see your daughter in the worst relationships if you don’t set an expectation that she deserves better and enforce it. Good luck - not as easy as everyone talks about at all. Get support.