It’s not going to improve cause she knows if she screams you come and she gets her way. I would be reporting the teachers at the pre school cause you do not give up on a child so easily. And they had no right to video tape it without your permission. Also they have no right to tell yoy she should wait another year for kindergarten. I agree with alot of the comments on here. Don’t let them bully you.
I think she is to young.Need to wait another year.you need to do some homeschooling at home to teach her when school work is done you can play .start off slow.she is still young.After a year of doing this at home she should be ready
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She obviously needs to learn social behavior. That is what pre school is for! Do not give into her. That only reinforces her bad behavior. Maybe interview other more schools. They should not give up on her so quick. Explain the problems that you had where she was and make sure new school does not handle behavior issues same way. Giving in and home schooling is definitely not the answer.
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I owned a daycare/preschool for over 25 years-it’s too bad she can’t play there before preschool and alittle afterwards. You definitely don’t want it to be so negative. The director should work with you
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Find a better preschool. as long as they keep calling you to come pick her up when she has these fits her behavior is going to continue. She needs to understand that going to school is a normal part of her day. It took my niece 3 weeks to get adjusted to school. She had good days and bad days but eventually adjusted well. Good luck momma 
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I would say spend the year practicing, make her sit down to trace her numbers and letters, do craft time, do reading time and so on, if you think by august she is ready then GREAT! But if not it’s okay too.
There is usually a 2 week transition period where the children learn the schedule, rules and what is expected. If after that time the child doesn’t adjust then they aren’t ready. However, if the child in question is being disruptive and refusing to cooperate it is appropriate to ask them not to return. It is a classroom environment and more than one child is attending.
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She needs school my 3 year we got him work books and learning thing to teach him we been working with patients sharing and working with others trying to prep him for school stick to your guns you can get age appropriate work books at Dollar tree they work wonders if you work with her
Homeschool for now. Have set times at home during the day where she has to sit and do schoolwork. Once it’s routine and she’s not acting up over it anymore, reintroduce pre-K or kindergarten.
Parent of 30 yrs, well momma the only one that can answer you’re question is you. Do YOU think she’s ready? Has she SHOWN you and daddy she is CAPABLE of staying the full 3hrs and example good behaviors and complete her task? YES, well NOW the Big question, Are YOU momma READY for her to be in pre-school? If you ARE and TRULY feel the routine and structure will benefit and prepare her for kindergarten THEN MAKE HER STAY, by picking her up she is LEARNING that throwing a tantrum gets her taken home.
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Kids mature at different rates, not good or bad but it’s just a fact. But I think starting kindergarten late is better than being held back. I wonder if there is an impartial expert who could evaluate her?
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I’d find a new preschool.
Every child is different. My son is 13 years old and he is also add, adhd, and odd and can not handle a full day of school. He is on a modified day. Which means he goes half days and then I homeschool him the other half. My daughter is In kindergarten. She did not go to preschool because they said she was too advanced when we tried to enroll her and they did testing. She did start kindergarten this year and did it for about 3 months. Our kindergarten does full days 5 days a week. She also couldn’t handle it. She did her work when asked and I was never called to pick her up. But she complained quite a bit about being tired at school(even though she went to bed at 8pm and didnt get woke up until 7am). And my husband and I decided it was too much for her. So, she is homeschooled now. She has a routine and does so much better. Every child is unique and different. Regular school and hours are not for every child. I would suggest homeschooling. Get her on a schedule and she will probably be fine to go back next year.
We homeschool both of our 2 (4 and 5) and they do their schoolwork with no issues. Maybe she has separation anxiety? If ur able to homeschool her (even for a year or 2) I’d give it a try
Seems like she knows if she throws a fit you will come get her.
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I do not agree with sending her home but I also do not agree with allowing her to stay in the class room disrupting the other kids another teacher should take her into a separate room or office and let her sit in a quiet room until she calms down and is ready to go back
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First, I wouldn’t reward her for having a good day. Verbal recognition should be sufficient. Second, picking her up from school because she displays tantrums is rewarding negative behavior. She should absolutely have to stay. If the preschool can’t handle it, I’d suggest finding one that can.
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Why don’t you stay at the pre school for a bit each day till she is settled. Maybe best if you are a ‘helper’ to the staff and interact with other kids. Once she feels safe, and knows you will be back at home time, she might settle.
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Home school for the rest if this school year and over the summer. Make a lesson plan and stick to it. She definitely needs the structure of a school day. Good luck momma. I hated sending my little one to school. Wanted to home school but she needed the social aspect of it. They are only young for a short while, make the most of it.
This is tough. It seems she is being rewarded for negative behavior and it’s not going to change in your favor if it continues. She crys and she gets to leave early. She’s winning. I’m not sure how to help because if you don’t get her early all the others in class suffer. I’m thinking if she gets to stay home altogether she has won! If she wins you got big problems. She’s play you like a fiddle. I think you need professional help now while she’s young. 
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Kids survive without preschool. Give her a break and try another one. Coming home should not be an option. She has learned that if she throws a big fit she “Gets” to come home.
You should spend tim3 practicing with her. She should have structured times to sit down. I do the same with my son. Have her practice in a workbook at home. She will need to transition. I homeschooled my son for preschool because I knew he wasn’t ready and now he is so ready for kindergarten next year. He can write his letters and we trace numbers. We do work 5 days a weeks. You have to be firm.
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children should be playing. After a long day already of play, making a child that young sit and do work is just asking a wee bit too much. We are totally focused on all the wrong things in this culture o hope you can maybe find a program more aligned with how young children should be spending their days. Forest schools, montessori schools, Waldorf schools, etc.
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She honestly needs to go to preschool before kindergarten. Because kindergarten will not tolerate it. And the fact she knows once she starts throwing a fit that you guys are going to just come pick her up, shes more or less still getting what she wants. If I was the teachers I would have set her in a corner until she calmed herself down. My daughter (just turned 5 in December) goes to preschool Monday threw Thursday 8a to 3.30p and she knows her teachers will not tolerate bad behavior and that there is a structure that’s to be followed.
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She’s doing it because shes not getting her way and wants to go home. And you’ve taken her home every time, giving her what she’s wanted.
Drop her off, tell her to behave herself and if she doesn’t, leave her there until sessions over, pick her up, discipline her(time out, toys taken away etc) and send her to bed.
If my son behaved like this in kindy or school, I would be furious 
not be coddling his tantrums
I also won’t be rewarding good behaviour at school when good behaviour is a requirement, not a choice.
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I have been in the field for 40+ Years and the only way she will get over this is to have her stay as you pick her up early all she is learning is getting to go home you might what to check out other school she will get better if she gets to do other things until she is ready she will what to do what the other children is doing in time.
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Follow your child’s gut instincts.
Stop giving into the entitled child. She will never get used to school and next year will be worse. If you actually disciplined her correctly, she would listen.
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FOR those saying she needs to be able to do this in kindergarten. NEWSFLASH: she isnt in kindergarten… she is 4. She doesnt need to have kindergarten skills at 4 for crying out loud. Geesh
Secondly… validate your childs emotions…
Thirdly… find a preschool tgats more developmentally age appropriate. Or find social interaction other ways.
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Are you allowed to stay at the preschool with her to help her adjust? It’s a big adjustment for little ones. They get over tired very quickly as well which could be contributing to her cry outs.
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Hard one. It truly depends on whether she is just doing this to get her way, or she is genuinely having a hard time communicating how she is feeling. I don’t advocate forcing a child into an environment, I will advocate easing their way into things. WE AS ADULTS… are the same way, I know I don’t like being told one day I can play all day and the next day forced to sit and “focus” … forcing a kid to “get over it because this is what is expected of them in kindergarten” is bogus! She isn’t there yet. You wouldn’t be comfortable with an obgyn doing brain surgery on your kid would you? Sadly most parents don’t realize every child is different, and need to be taught in the best way that they can comprehend. My boys both have adhd, and one of them also has a sensory processing disorder AND pragmatic social communication disorder. If she is legit trying her best and having these meltdowns, I would talk to her pediatrician for guidance. And consistency is key. Don’t break in routines. Positive parenting actually works. And has been proven to work. At the end of the day, my advice, their advice won’t be what YOU need. Trust your intuition momma, never be ashamed to reach out to professionals either. As far as that preschool, they seemed pretty vague about just not bringing her back without some kind of help for you. Literally kicking her out. She’s your baby and you let her guide you (when it comes to her learning style) we literally have tried so many things with my youngest son lol so exhausting but we found with the combination of two different therapies, and constant communication between the school, teacher and counselors helps for us.
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Put her in a different preschool and keep trying because it’s a big change and a new routine and she had to learn she cant have her way sending her home early is the wrong message so is quitting early
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Maybe she’s not ready.
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You already know she can do it by the good days she did have. She now knows she will be picked up when throwing a fit 🤷 I delt with it last year when my son was in Prek. He was 4 and it was a full day all week at a school. You know what helped? Me sitting in class with him 🤷 No more screaming, running, hitting etc. Prek isnt just for fun anymore. You do need to learn. I mean kids should know their numbers/ abcs before then (unless challenged of course)… So prek helps them keep it fresh in their mind. With my son being in Kindergarten this year (at 5), he is right on track and I dont have to be there 🤷 Just gotta keep trying.
I really think it wasn’t handled right by the school. Calling you to come get her, is only teaching her that if she doesn’t want to do something, she just has to through a big fit. Than mommy or daddy will pick her up and take her home.
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Also, my son just started Kindergarten this year. His school informed me that some kids dont experience preschool at all, some do and so forth. Just like them learning to crawl, walk and talk. They all develop at different times. Just because one child knows how to count and the alphabet doesn’t make another child any lesser if he/she doesnt.
If I were you, i would try implementing her into a smaller private preschool. I would also get her involved in play dates with kids her age. Check out MOPS in your area.
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Stop picking her up, she knows if she carries on you will come get her and she will continue to do thia
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It can take about 6weeks for a child to settle in, you just have to be firm and leave her there and the teachers should do the same, they learn all of this in training. Good luck
Find another school, better suit her learning style,
I would have made her stay the entire time the first week, you messed up by picking her up early. In a lot of households parents aren’t able to leave work to pick the kid up early from school every day (obviously unless it’s planned)
That first week was crucial because now she learned that screaming=mom coming to get me
Your best bet is to enroll her in a different school, give them a heads up of her behavior and YOU need to tough it out. She is almost FIVE YEARS OLD she needs to learn how to ACT without u around to baby her.
I’d change preschools, and have work time at home so it becomes a part of daily life. I started strict learning time at home when my son was 2 and he’dvbeen in a learning based daycare from 6mo to kindergarten.
Also, I’m curious about that preschool… how much work are they having these kids do? I understand a schedule, but the day should be fun. They should be making learning fun, not having everyone sit down and write (I may be wrong, considering a skipped a bit of reading, but it sounds like regular school). I’d change preschools. But before that happens and after, she needs to stay the whole day. Picking her up is creating a very bad habit that will only get worse
I don’t agree with allowing her to come home. It’s a manipulation on her end. Have the teacher send her to the principles office with her work or collectively come up with an option that doesn’t include coming home. My 8 year old is autistic and would go as far as biting and hitting his teachers in attempts to come home. But we stood unified… He acts out? He goes to the guidance counselors office with his work and they call us. We than remind him on the phone that he is NOT coming home and he has one chance to correct his behavior or there will be consequences when he comes home (usually being sent to sit on his bed for the afternoon/evening and only allowed out for restroom, dinner and showers). He now knows he is NOT coming home early and if the teacher threatens to call us? He straightens his game right out.
My pre-school was fun and so was my son’s. What is this pre-expecting from a child? I would wonder about that. Frustration by your child. Maybe send to a quiet place to do her work but I would want to see what work they are expecting. Different pre-school maybe?