If your able to home school her for a year I would do that because influence could have a play in this. Control who she’s around for a while and get her into therapy for compulsive lying and see if that doesn’t change things.
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My son is now 13 and I had this problem with him all through 3rd, 4th and 5th grade. I had no idea what to do anymore… so I did what I thought I had to do. Get rid of whatever was influencing that bad behavior, and after tons of thinking and observation, electronics/internet turned out to be the culprit. Those things were removed immediately, and to this day, he rarely gets too much time on the internet/electronics. Idk if you have ever watched what most kids watch on YouTube or games they play, but most is about pranks, lying, being sneaky, doing something you’re parents say not to and how long it takes them to realize they did it… the list is endless. But none of it is of good influence.
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Let her know lying will get her twice the punishment since she is doing bad by lying. The truth will make the punishment less… I taught this to my girls and I know I can trust them. 30 years now and 4 kids later they will own their mistakes and learn from them. I also lead by example.
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THERAPY. Please get therapy for all involved.
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Try every time she tells a lie that’s 1 hour in your room, or the old fashion way write 300 times I will not tell a lie, my son use to pick his nose when he was younger and wouldn’t stop, so I told him if he picks his nose his pecker will fall off and you will turn into a girl. Sounds funny but it worked I told him his sister use to be a boy. Lol. Maybe try a book about lying like crying wolf.
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Mine was too. I hoped it was a faze. I think it had gotten better. She lied, imo, to not disappoint and out of lack of motivation or wanting to be liked or get attention. Love and persistence and sternness when necessary. Good luck.
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Put a bar of soap in her mouth… then make her eat sardines
“Strict parents create excellent liars” are yall super strict?
This is “calling out” behavior.
There is something deep inside her that is troubling her.
Please get her into extensive therapy to get to the bottom of her pain.
She is vying for attention in whatever way she can.
She is reminiscent of my painful past. Therapy helped!!
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How are you reacting? You might want to have a heart to heart and connect with her in order to find the most complete resolution for helping her in changing this behavior
I dont deal with lies, so if you are going to lie plz go to your room and dont talk to me untill you have truth to speak. I just dont do lies . Call her on it and matter of factly just say , um your telling lies and I dont do lies take that to your room . Then be done . Dont yell or threaten just show her people wint want to talk with or listen to her if she lies .
She either gets with the program or spends alot of time doing chores or in her room .
Grow up your her mother not her friend…she’s not to old for some tuff punishment…get dad involved also…it may take the police involved if she is stealing at school TUFF LOVE…
My kid is a compulsive lier. But he is ADHD and ODD so it does stem from those things. It’s an impulse for him. And a manipulation tactic. I would seek therapy.
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My 8 yr old lies about EVERYTHING big things, little things , makes up things , says her siblings did something they didn’t do (silly things like took her soap ) she is in concealing and we have done the “I won’t be mad if you tell the truth “ thing and that just made her think if she did something bad and told the truth she would not have Consequences. Even then she still lied.
Idk what to do either!! If you figure it out let me know!
We have asked her why and all the things that everyone is saying
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I mean she’s 11. Maybe give her less chores and let her be a kid and play and join in more. A lot of the time when kids are acting out (like stealing) it’s because they want attention.
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Get her Into therapy maybe that will help her build structure sumtimes it works to send them to an adult that they dont know they seem to think they can push us parents over but if u bring a therapist in the picture a stranger that she can’t push over maybe she’ll learn to have morals and b stable and structured and quit lieing all the time good luck momma I hope u find a path that works!!! Sending prayers ur way:pray:t3:
Do like most of our parents did some don’t agree with that but most of us turned out ok because of it
My son does the same thing. We figured out he wants to tell us what we want to hear not Ness the truth I now have Jim wait 10 sec before telling me his truth. And I remind him I want the truth not what u think I want to hear
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Shevorne McArley why can I see Kyle or Emma writing this about Emily?
I read a lot about this because I know 2 people who are chronic liars… I have come up with they think it is like a game… to outsmart you… “that means they are smart”. Many people must have told them or made them feel “stupid”… or is stupid… Be careful of that word.I asked one why did she lie?? I said God doesn’t like liars and you always get caught… She said “Sometimes you do and sometimes you don’t.” So they are very aware they are lying… it’s an ego thing or lack of self esteem. … good luck. It gets worse and dangerous as an adult… :{
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Counseling. Both for her alone and together. Get to the root of the situation in a positive way.
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I do not find this “normal” it’s extreme. I font think you or anyone did anything to cause this I woukd absolutely start family therapy to uncover the issue and all can learn to communicate
Have her checked for adhd
When I was younger I got a spanking which definitely resolved a lot of issues. I have done the same to my kids. Some kids behave with time out and taking things away. Some of us require a little more discipline.
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Do it back at her! Tell her your going to buy her something, then don’t! She says something about it , tell her you lied! Tell her that’s how you feel when she lies to you! Sooner or later it will sink in! Good luck!
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Consequences. Shes ganna need to prove herself before going anywhere or doing anything fun. (Make her show proof of chores being done before anything) Does she has a cell phone? If she lies, take it away. 1 lie = 2 weeks without a phone. Or tv or whatever it is she does.
Take away everything. When she stops the lying then she gets to earn her stuff back by continuing to not lie. Technically you provide a roof, food and water. Your doing your job as a parent.
If this is out of character for her chances are high that something traumatic has happened to her,shes definitely seem something
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She may just be a habitual liar and cannot help it I have a friend who is like that but if she is stealing that’s a different story if she were mine she would not go anywhere but school and church take away all of her devices TVs radios phones computers she would be grounded to her bedroom except to eat and do her chores for a month I think she would probably straighten up then if she continues to steal call the police on her scare her straight
lying is different btw between NT and NDs.
Example: did you clean room. Yes.
You: it’s still trashed you lied to me.
Then: I picked up my books and put away my clothes. I cleaned my room.
Both are true. The NT will say the ND is lying
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May be she has some insecurity and feel fear to tell truth and as a safe side mechanism she choose to tell… May be at some point parents need to be soft and need to give enough courage to their kids to speak truth and may be also need to strict at some point especially when they are above 14.
I just did a double take like, wait did I write this?? Lol going through the same thing with my 12 year old and I am ready to pull my hair out. We are just doing our best to stay consistent so she knows the behavior is unacceptable and waiting for the storm to pass. 
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You seem to have tried everything but talking to her. Which is where you should’ve started, by the way.
Time for rewards/ punishments that work
What’s happening that her first reaction is lying to start with? If you crack that code you’ll have a road map for stopping the behavior.
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Wait until she’s 13. It doesn’t get any better. But it’s not your fault. My daughter lies allll of the time, it’s annoying. My son grew out of it eventually. Just be patient momma