My daughter is struggling in school: How can I help her?

My eight-year-old daughter is having a hard time with school. She is in 2nd grade. She has struggled in school since kindergarten. I try my hardest to help with homework, but she seems to really not understand any of it. At her last conference, her teacher told me she’s such a bright and kind student, which is great and all but her grades are showing otherwise. She does go to the group a few times a week for math, but it doesn’t seem to be helping at all. She was in the group all year last year for reading and still struggles badly in that subject as well. I’m at a loss at this point because I don’t want to continue to push her to the next grade if she clearly isn’t grasping anything. The last report card she had 1’s and 2’s in everything which shows she is way below average and is basically only showing up. If anyone has ever dealt with having to hold a child back or anything along the lines, please let me know! I just want my daughter to succeed in school. Also hiring a private tutor isn’t really an option financially for us


Keep her back! Have her tested by a neuropsychologist

Have eyes checked. It would not hurt to keep her back. Better now than later.


The school should be helping her get evaluated…my daughter had ADHD and always struggled with schoolwork,until she was put in special classes with fewer students, that allowed teachers to work with them closely…request an IEP meeting from school, it’s a meeting with all teachers,principal, and request that she gets evaluated

Sounds like she should be held back a year. I’d do it sooner than later. School just keeps getting harder and she’ll get further behind the further up she goes.

Have her evaluated maybe she can get an iep at school if that suits her, is homeschool an option? Sometimes the one on one helps a lot…


Check for learning disorders, get eyes checked,

Have you had her evaluated to receive special services? Once my daughter got her IEP and started receiving services (OT and Setts) her grades improved greatly.

I hear u my grandson is 4 in jk and also seems that he finding hit hard to under stand

Unfortunately the tutor the school is providing or this “group” isn’t working. She needs 1 on 1. I suggest posting a flyer around a local college campus so you can find a cheaper private tutor. Talk to the principle about options, I’m sure they’ve dealt with similar instances in the past. Get her tested for learning disabilities. And definitely do not go onto the next grade. Good luck!

Have her tested for dyslexia!


Have her tested for dyslexia.


Does she have an IEP? Has she been assessed? She may need additional help; one on one, smaller group. Have a sit down with the teacher, guidance counselor for suggestion and support. You’re not alone❤️


Get a psych ed assessment done. She may have a learning disability.


My girls are on an IEP … it gives them the extra help they need… talk to the school

Speak to your doctor or school about getting her tested. My son is below grade level and has an IEP that offers him more help in his learning. He gets to read to a dog every week. A reading buddy. And other accommodations to help him out. You have to be your kids advocate and voice sometimes because they don’t know that they learn differently…they just think they are dumb.

Speak with her teacher again and have the principal there. They need to do something for her.

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She may be slow learner, why don’t put her in a school for special children. My brother’s son was sound n healthy but couldn’t study beyond eight standard as her mom was reluctant to put him in the scool fir soecisl children.He is now healthy adult with no education, no skill in hand.

If she’s always struggled I’m not sure holding her back is the answer. Definitely research disorders that could cause learning issues and go from there. Best wishes :cherry_blossom:.

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Maybe She is not being challenged enough and She is bored?

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the school should be testing her for learning disabilities, and provide extra help. Kids with learning disabilities, like dyslexia or attention deficit often are very bright. If that school cannot provide testing for learning disabilities and appropriate tutoring, hopefully there is a better school, although the Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVoss did take measures to take away such services. Good luck.


Can you afford Sylvan Learning Center? They helped my daughter tremendously. Also try some after school programs in your area. They hire school teachers to help with their tutorial programs.

There’s a number of things that maybe causing her to not understand any of what she is being taught. Sounds like she may have ADHD and I’m only saying this because my son was in the same situation. He’s really smart but has a hard time understanding it takes a lot of explaining and focus for him to understand. Medication has helped him though.

Talk to the school and see if you can get her a tutor maybe a high schooler that will volunteer to help her out!!

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Have you heard of Sylvan learning Center? You can take her and they will evaluate her. And no it’s not a pegging eval! What they check for is how they hold their pen and even how their paper is lined up on the desk. It’s strange but my son was the same way. They noticed he struggled with reading and I ended up taking him to a neurologist who said he had an issue with the back of his eye. Gave him therapy and he read well after! But I took him at their suggestion. Wish I would have left him at that school though very caring ppl.

Dyslexia? So many things thing could be affecting her.
Definitely get her evaluated.
Sight, hearing, even manual dexterity…if her hands bother her… She won’t write as much.


Have her evaluated for Dysgraphia and/or Dyslexia. Don’t wait.


When my daughter was at around that age, we have the same problem. I was advised by one of her teacher to have her seen by a specialist, that she thinks my daughter is Dyslexic. Indeed she is, it was explained to me what Dyslexia is. Just be patient with them, they will learn at their own phase, and once their brain learned the process, you’ll be surprised how quick they learn. My daughter is now 13 years old, and I’m proud to say, she’s one of the honor student at her class.

Time to reevaluate these groups, before you call your kid behind, get to the bottom of her learning surroundings


My daughter was held back in kindergarten for the same reason she was bright and heart of gold but she just wasn’t getting what the other kids did. Now that’s SHES a third grader you can tell she’s made up for the set back and enjoys going to school more now!!

Getba high school tutor for her maths mines 14 almost and her grades have gone down too in this last six months friends sickness and Bullying all play a part can a teachers aid work with her that’s what we do in Australia when in those classes contact her school office her Guidance Officer counselling

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My son asked to be held back in the fourth grade! Yes, you read that right. While he was a kind and giving person he was really struggling. Has has worn glasses since he was 9 months old. We went to therapy and group after school help, summer school etc. He was doing well enough that they kept passing him along. When he went into fifth grade, he cried every day for 1 week. I asked for a meeting with the teacher, his counselor, and special assistant. My son asked them to put him back into 4th grade and I fought to get them to allow it. It was the BEST thing for him. We got a different teacher and my son has excelled ever since. When he got to high school, he worked hard and graduated in 3 years instead of 4. He needed a little extra time to learn things and a different kind of teacher. I wish you and your daughter well.

Check eyes and ears. My grades went down because I couldnt see what the teacher was doing. Also, if she has hearing problems, she won’t understand the instructions.
You can get a high school kid to tutor her, if they do that in your city. We have the “buddy” program and had a high school or middle school student tutor the elementary school kids

Honestly I know a lot of people hate blaming ADHD. But that was definitely my problem and I’m 24, just recently realized this because my parents never did anything to fix my gpa problems. Always a D- in every class but gym. All the way up to 11th grade then I quit. I only cared about sports. You have to let your child know how important school is. I wish my parents did. Also I’ve learned it’s a lot easier to learn on my own. I watch educational videos, take notes, pause the video if I have to. Work on my time, not the whole classes time. I also had a very immature class so that was a very big distraction for me. If I were you even if she doesn’t have ADHD it would be worth helping her more at home. Let her take her time. Be very positive about it and tell her she will feel a lot better at the end of her high school career if she gives it her all. Best of luck! Not have a gpa doesn’t feel good.

Does she need glasses? My boyfriends son had alot of these same issues and when we took him to get his eyes checked,he needed glasses. He was a frustrated young man cause he couldn’t comprehend what he was soposeto do cause he couldnt read most of it so was hard for him to understand. May be a shot in the dark,but is worth a try!:blush: he amazingly picked everything up at rocket speed afterwards. I wish you the best as it’s a tough journey. Hang in there!

My youngest was having problems learning in kindergarten. I had her eyes and hearing checked. I learned that she was having a problem hearing. The school also had her tested and we found out she had a learning disability. I would recommend before holding her back to have her eyes and hearing tested and then have the school evaluate her for a learning disability. Best of luck!

My daughter is the same. She’s 11 and is in the 4th grade she was held back a year in 2nd. They said at school and I have said to them as well at home that she has a hard time retaining information. The teacher said she may eventually get an answer to something but it takes her a very long time to get it. Like her star scores this year are supposed to be in the 40th percentile but she was 23rd percentile. But they said they were high enough to not qualify for special ED. Because most of special ED scored in the 10th percentile. Maybe she is like that and just has to really work at it. I know my daughter has adhd and she didn’t start taking a med until the end of 3rd grade. They think maybe somewhere along the way she missed some skills that were needed from lack of focus and she needs to be retaught. They did small group and they saw it wasn’t working for her so now at school they are going to go even further to one on one. Maybe your child needs some one on one to focus. She done a psych evaluation assessment too In 2nd grade it also showed just above the special education area so again, didn’t qualify. You’re not alone. We are going through some similar stuff. Hang in there.

Request to have her assessed. That is a right. She may need an individual education plan

Maybe attention disorder? Add - or - adhd?

My daughter is exactly the same way…struggles in every subject but is very smart and we found out she is ADHD and while the school and teachers tried to help with that it just wasn’t enough. We have pulled her from public school and have started to homeschool her. Some kids just need the one on one homeschooling provides. At that age in school there is a lot of distraction and they haven’t learned how to ignore it and keep focused. Homeschooling helps with that. Plus she will feel more comfortable coming to you for help and problems because you are her mother. She won’t worry about being belittled and made to feel insecure like some ( not all) teachers do…as well as other kids. Homeschooling sometimes is the best option. Hope this helps.

She needs to be tested for learning disabilities. Plain and simple. Talk to her teacher and if you have to go all the way to the principal.


Some children just can’t grasp the type of lessons our schools give them. You need to step back And take a deep breath. Read with your child, not for her. Use visual aids with math instead of the written problems. With my son I used his Hot Wheels. Sometimes children can understand the visual better. And have a professional assess your child. There may be a health issue as well. I wish you the best of luck.

Dyslexia maybe? Test her, that may be all it is. Which is an obstacle but there is a way.


2nd grade…
Try getting her 4th and 5th grade work books…
The school’s teaching methods are advanced…
Have been for the 6 - 7 year’s

You can request testing and they can test her for any learning issues. I am a teacher, I’m confused as to the teacher saying she is doing great but her report card shows otherwise? Did you ask the teacher why??

I have raised 3 children all with different types of learning disabilities.You are descibing what happened in the beginning with my 3.You really need to get het tested by a group of specialist she could have more than one disability,these things are not uncommon and not to be worried.I dont know where you live so the best suggestions i can give you is start with the family doctor and the school and request testing be done for your childDepending on where you live it can be free or must be paid for,in my case none of it was paid for it was all covered by the goverment resoures.also see a social worker they can be a key to help you acess these resourses.If you start now you will make progress because alot of these programs also have wait times.Get as many people involved with this as possible and you should be able to get some answersYour family doctor is always the best place to start.SEEING HOW I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOU LIVE THATS THE BEST I CAN OFFER AT THIS TIME.IF YOU ARE BY FACT IN CANADA I COULD OFFER YOU ALOT MORE HELP.

Has she been tested for Dyslexia? This can cause her to have difficulties in all subjects in school. I would have her tested for that as soon as you can, it would make your life easier and hers too. Sending prayers to you both for an answer :heart:

Get a Tutor ask if she can get help after school ask if she has trouble reading and payin attention

Is there any issue with either sight or hearing. Might be worth checking out.


She just needs a way to connect it to something she enjoys & she’ll want to Cling to the information.
Deff prolly just not challenging her in the correct way.

I’m a retired first grade teacher and have 40 hours of dyslexia training. Third grade will be like hitting a brick wall for her, so please give her the gift of another year in 2nd grade. That being said, she needs a 2nd grade teacher who can really teach reading–and sometimes that is not easy to find. You need to visit with the school and see what resources they have. If I knew where you lived, I could try to help you. Message me if you would like to.

I had issues with math and English, I tested into special ed dureing 4th grade and passed out of it by 6th for math and 7th for English.
Lots of relativity & finger traceing.

I wish I could go back to this age with my daughter. She also struggled. I tried so hard to make her fit into this “box” that was never going to work for her. I don’t know the details of your situation but don’t forget that not all kids learn the same, not all kids fit into the Model that most schools offer. Find a way that she learns and don’t be afraid to make changes that make her feel good about herself. Learning comes in so many ways. Like I said I got so caught up in what the masses were doing and how I thought it should be that I missed an Opportunity. I hope this helps. Good luck to you and your daughter♥️

Go to ur town’s School Department and request that ur child be tested by the school’s psychologist. That way, they can see if and what services may be needed. Also, don’t go it alone. Although this may sound weird as first, enlist the help of ur child’s pediatrician. They can perhaps help with ideas and get ur child tested outside of school to help u and ur child down the right path. U will need to be ur child’s advocate, sometimes against the impossible. Don’t give up. Ur child may also qualify for therapy, which might help with any issues ur daughter might like to talk about, but isn’t sure how. And the therapist can also make recommendations to the school as well. If everyone involved is on board, it makes for a better educational experience. She may qualify to have an I.E.P. (Individual Education Plan) through the school to help her with educational services that she may qualify for. Sometimes teachers mean well, but are often at a loss as to how to help. Sometimes they are overworked with too many students to teach. And sometimes, I hate to say it, but it boils down to money. If the school district isn’t passing enough students, they get a bad grade from the state and underperforming schools get less financial aid from the state and federal governements. If they keep passing these kids along as they’re strongly encouraged (told) to do, then there are “no problems.” Then the school gets money and the teacher doesn’t lose their job. I wish u and ur daughter good luck! P.S.: I approached my daughter’s 2’nd grade teacher and asked to have her held back and the teacher said she was going to speak with me about it as well. If she needs to be held back, it’s probably best to do it sooner than later. At least she’s not in the 8’th grade or something when it needs to be done.

I made my son repeat grade 3 as he also was just not coping. He repeated the grade with the same teacher and she also assisted with extra math lessons. The following year (grade 4) was as if he never struggled. All subjects improved. He has since only given excellent results. He will do grade 10 this year. It was a very difficult decision but so worth it in the end.

Depending on where you live, the school can evaluate her for any learning disabilities or behavioral issues or you may need to go to a pediatric psychologist. Having a diagnosis opens up all kinds of help, from extra reading help, testing help, anything really. I live in Florida and here teachers are not allowed to tell you that your child should be tested. I was pulling my hair out trying to get help. I have a client that is a social worker and she is the one that told me what to do. It has made a world of difference. Call your child’s school and talk to anyone that will listen and tell them you want your child tested and if they do that or who you need to call. Good luck.

Can she read? My daughter was falling behind, the teacher said she was lazy. But she came home and begged me to help her learn to read better. I finally took her to the eye doctor, she had the same thing as the one of the quints in out daughtered. This was 35 years ago. It only took 6 months for her to pick up reading after treatment. But this affected all aspects of her learning.

My oldest didn’t want to do homework so he would frustrate me for hours until I gave up trying to help him. Really smart just couldn’t prove it on paper. I finally turned off the TV, no phone time, no video games and no music and no toys until he got it done. The smarter they are the harder it is to get them to apply it. Good luck. Yes, I kept them back if they didn’t pass.

Please work with the guidance department to help you

Has your daughter been tested for any learning disabilities? I would start there first. If she has a disability then the school has to provide a plan to help her.

Ask for an IEP this will get her tested and maybe that will help .

Go to the principal and have a chat. My daughter’s school wouldn’t assess her before the age of 8 even though I said I knew she was Dsylexic, like me. They did it a little earlier. 1 in 10 children in a class are Dsylexic, not saying yours is but please do get her assesed.

I don’t have any answers for you, but I’ve been there. My now 19yr old was diagnosed with a learning disability, but none of the therapies ever worked. Just know you aren’t alone.

She may very well learn differently. Have her tested. She may even need an IEP. (Individual education plan) I think people get so caught up on “making the grade” that we tend to forget that the nat’l standard used to teach and grade is biased and sometimes unfair. That’s why you as a parent have to advocate for your child.


I have custody of my nieces and my 8 year old is having the same problem we’ve tried and tried to help n she still doesn’t understand, we did iq on her and other test to find out what was going on her IQ turns out to be a 70, witch is low but not low enough for special Ed help, and found out that she had ADD, she gets put on meds tomorrow, and school will be putting her in a smaller class that she’ll understand more of what is going on in classroom.

Is she having reading / spelling issues? Wilson reading addresses these types of problems! And the children become confident , happy students.

My son had a learning disability. I noticed it around first grade. Teachers and his pediatrician kept telling me he’s smart and active ( I’m giving the quick version here), but I knew something was wrong. He kept skidding by until third grade. I finally convinced his Dr to test him. He was then diagnosed with it. Because I was intelligent HE gave off intelligence. You know your child, you see them struggle. Cross ALL T’s and dot ALL of the I’s. All children learn/develope at their own pace. But I saw the difference in him from home to school. He left high school an A student. Hope this helps :pray:

My daughter had issues like. This thought she would going to be held back a year. Teachers weren’t as concerned. All of a sudden everything just clicked. By 6th grade she became an honors student and has been all through high school. She is now a senior. Is #17 in her class. Has been accepted into 10/11 colleges and some have invited her to their honors colleges and some very generous scholarships. Hang in there hopefully everything will work out

Her PCP and school should be having her tested to make sure the supports for her development are in the right place for her needs. Its never to early for interventions. My step son should have had supports years before I showed up. My in laws were in denial (dad job has him gone a lot) that he had significant delayments. So he was 10 before support started and now he might max out at 10 years old developmental if supports keep going full time for his life.

Do they still leave kids back? I don’t think so… Standard practice nowadays is to promote no matter what bc “research shows holding kids back isn’t best practice”… Pffft.

Get her tested for a learning disability. And I know most parents don’t know what to do with a child with learning difficulties but here’s a few ideas that worked for me (I have severe dyslexia and couldn’t read till the 4th grade.) teach her the fun way baking and shopping is great for math skills, read to her everyday, have her write stories or letters for proper grammar skills, have her play learning games only on her electronics. It builds skills instead of watching mindless videos. Sing her lessons to her…kids remember songs easier then sitting at a table doing homework. By making it fun you reduce her stress about it and she’s learning at the same time.

My kid is getting all 2’s in everything as well. Get yours tested for learning disabilities, eyes and ears checked, and remember not to fixate too much on the grades. I tell my daughter just to do her best. If her best is a 2, then so be it, as long as she’s consistent and not dropping backwards.

You can ask for an IEP, individual education plan.

My daughter went to so many schools, she graduated from 2 high :school:S. One with behavior certificate of completion and the other GED. Bottom line, as long as she get out :school:, good luck…

HAVE HER TESTED and found not be fearful of repeating a grade if additional learning aids can be put in place!

Have her eyes checked first. Then you can have her checked for ADHD. I had both of these problems with my son while he was in school. He’s grown now. They say he’s bipolar now as and adult . That was my case with my son.

Ask principal for referral for case study for special education. This testing determines her strengths and weaknesses with learning. Or call your local school social worker and ask her to help you through the process. The testing does not cost you a cent. It is done at school. You need more information about her learning style, emotional well being. See your family doctor for check up to see if there are any medical issues that need to be addresssed. This can also impact learning. Be active.

IEP will get her extra time and other things my daughter has it and will use it only when needed. Talk to her counselor. They write them up.

Homeschool if you.can. abc mouse

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Ask school for an assessment and if learning is behind ask then to consider an educational health care plan. If you feel she needs it you can do it yourself. Educational psychologist may assess the child. Dont be put off with what the school says they will try to, I assure you!

Hold her back now! She isn’t ready. Why put her through the struggle of years of falling behind & struggling.

Also…check with your high school or jr college…there are young people who as part of their studies they work with students in the schools…

My son is like that. He doesn’t want to do the work cause it’s hard for him. Can’t keep focus and he processes things way slower than his peers. He doesn’t read good and is in speech class. Ever since he started school, he’s in 3rd now, I kept mentioning that he may have a learning disability. I wanted him tested and the teacher pointed out things he’d do that would suggest he had trouble learning. The school retested him and he’s in a special class now with regular classes as well. Still tries to hide his homework though! Ask your school to retest her.

She may have a learning disability
My oldest son did and you should request testing for her.

Schools refused to hold our son back I asked numerous times. Every year to do. He’s on an IEP because they will push them through to stay with grade level peers.
The school told me I had to write a letter to Superintendent in order to be granted to hold back.
Which I know is a lie from the school. Parents should have the right. I got tired of fighting an uphill battle.
They continued to tell us he was progressing. Even though we didn’t see it. Than at our tri annual slammed us with he was failing! Which we knew. They would segregate our son and have him in the corner play computer games while the other students received reading intervention. This was in Special Ed. class.
I pulled him out as they just kept pushing him along not learning nothing and warehousing him all 5 th grade in general education pulled out for Special Ed. with no sides or supports in the General Ed classsroom
We are using a Charter homeschool model.
The charter, homeschool school started him where his at and work from there.
He is very far behind. And it became a matter of the school keeps pushing him and never catches up and fails further behind. Or I pull him out and get him caught up.
My son is in 6 th grade and could barely read. He can read now, and has progressed more since September than all the years in public school. I wish I would have pulled him out years ago. But our family situation wouldn’t accommodate it at the time.
I don’t know your families situation if it’s possible to homeschool.
But I would highly recommend! If you have questions or want more information you can pm. :grinning:

This is exactly what the school should be doing. Test her for disabilities, have her hearing tested. Have her eyes checked. Don’t hold her back because if something is found she will then be placed into the area which will guide and help her. It is so important to recognize any traumatic change in her life. She may be brilliant and the things she 8s expected to learn are not challenging enough. Do not fret. Remind the school to do what they are goid at…test.

I was like this at school… Still am tbh but I have a job that doesn’t require to. Much of my bad subjects… I’ve never understood maths. You could explain it 100 different ways it wouldn’t make any sence