My daughter was caught by a friends mom watching adult videos: Advice?

As a mom who once caught their son doing this at age 6, it leads to them getting in trouble for things as adults!

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Lord karens. Taking her childs phone away was not the question…

Anyhow… Why not talk to the child?

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Exactly why a kid shouldn’t have a phone at that age :roll_eyes:

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The child has a restriction on the phone. So maybe could it be possible that the friends mom is lying ?

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Yeah theres no reason she needs internet access unsupervised. 🤷🏻

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I’d say just get a little flip open trac phone and put minutes on it. Get one that doesn’t even have internet access at all. All she needs a phone for is to communicate with you and her dad so get one that does just that and only that.

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Check the email she’s logged into. Then the history.

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Omg my husband was going through our daughter’s browser history and found the same thing on it! She’s 10. It happened about a month ago when she watched it… I didn’t know what to do either???

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Does she have roblox on her phone

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This is why y’all shouldn’t be letting kids have access to the Internet. They do make phones that dont have internet access

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I did talk to her and not jump the gun and be mad, but I was definitely concerned

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This happend with my ten year old they are just not mentally ready to have a phone. If one is necessary it is only given when needed to call in my opinion 7 is too young to have complete freedom on a cell phone. So maybe have a set times to use it and never let them have it overnight

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Was it a porn site or like YouTube type thing.

Check the phones search history… If any adult sites show then speak to your daughter to see if it was her that looked them up but don’t shame her or tell her off she may be just curious and also ask her how she got the restrictions off… But then speak to the mother who caught her…

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Don’t immediately jump her @$$… and tell her dad the same. Have a talk with her about sex and stuff. Be calm and rational. It’s a normal part of life. If need be get her a regular phone that has no internet also. But please don’t go crazy on your child. You have to explain things where they understand and be calm. :kissing_heart:

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Mine has been having a phone since 3yrs old, now 6 almost 7.

Even with restrictions it can still happen. The kid just needs to be watched/supervised.
There were times mine world be watching a kids anime show on yt and the show would start all kiddish and turn pornish.

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Change the passwords!

All y’all fussing about the kid having internet must never have looked at your dad’s Playboys and Hustlers.

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I wouldnt be dishing out punishment or taking her phone away…although I do think 7yo is too young that’s your business…id talk to her about what she saw , how she found it .
Its youths way to be curious and you want her to be able to talk to you about anything so don’t shame her.

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My daughter was caught watching porn on her phone at about 8 years old…It’s normal but that doesn’t mean I’m saying it’s ok.
What I did is had a talk with her. She told me she was just curious but didn’t like what she saw anyways. I told her that I understood her curiousity but it has to stop. I deleted her phones search history and told her I’d be checking it regularly. I haven’t followed through that often but every time I have there’s been no more.
Just have a conversation with her. I bet it’s just a bit of curiosity.

Step one: change the parental lock password and don’t tell anyone what it is. Block everything except her ability to make phone calls.

She’s 7, let me say that again she’s 7! All contact should be made through you on your phone. There’s no reason he can’t call your phone to speak with her and you his when she’s there! She needs a tablet not a phone.

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7? Divorce or not, it’s not necessary for a seven year old to have a smart phone. Wtf are u thinking?!

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Her phone should have dial only and then your number and her dads number programmed in. She’s 7!!

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Who else knows the codes??

At 7 yrs old children wouldn’t be interested in that someone else could of used the phone

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This is wayyyy to young for all that. Also find another means for her to contact him. No 7 year old needs full access to a smart phone. Buy her a trac phone

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It’s simple, download kids YouTube, and whatever games she likes then disable all internet browsers, disable the ability to uninstall or reinstall all apps. Restrictions and bedtime can be used so she isn’t on it to long or just use the phone for games like geometry dash and don’t let her use any streaming services on it.

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Have you checked if your daughter still has the passwords and restrictions on her phone? If its still there than it is impossible for your daughter to get that on her phone. Are you sure the friends mum is telling the truth? Could it have been her child? She trying to tell you it was your daughter before you find out? Or she caught her own child and they passed the blame to your daughter? See if you can Google things with restrictions on and if you can’t then it didn’t happen.

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If anybody else has her email log in info they could log onto another phone or computer without the restrictions with her email and it would show in her browsing history.

Something similar happened to me when I was 10 or 11 and come to find out someone had found a way to hack into our internet from the outside of our apartment building.

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Maybe swap phone for a watch with tracking and phone calling on it? They have kid’s smart watches can program 3 phone numbers in and play little games and stuff on without internet access. I think you get a chip to put in it and pay $5 or so a month to allow calling. All a 7 year old needs.

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“Busting her ass” won’t do anything but teach her not to communicate openly with you guys about adult matters. It’ll just scare her away going to her parents. Handling it maturely and calmly will show her that being curious is okay, but to go to you guys instead of websites, which doesn’t teach this stuff properly. And to also not be sneaky about it or her tech will be taken away due to not being able to trust her

Unless you’re leaving a 7 year old without adult supervision there’s absolutely no need for a child to have a cell phone… PERIOD. My boyfriends daughter is 8 and her mom bought her a cell phone but hid that fact from us…she’s never left alone so any adult she’s with has access to a cell phone… trying to justify that they need it for emergencies or because they attend after school programs, sports etc…is bs… there’s always an adult present… plus her mom doesn’t allow her to call her dad anyway, she’s a no good person who doesn’t even deserve to be called a mom… biggest alienation case from a parent ever! She ran off with her 5 years ago to another state without his knowledge or consent which is illegal then withheld the whereabouts of a child which is a felony as well… again no elementary age child needs a cell phone of any kind

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Mmm, she KNOWS the code. That’s it and that’s all.:smirk:

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You’d be surprised at how well these kids can bypass restrictions. Even that young. It could be someone using the phone, or it could be that she heard the word and wondered what it was. When my daughter was pretty young she had heard boys talk about porn in school and looked it up. Of course she then came crying to me asking me to take it off and that she didn’t know what it was, and she was sorry….lesson learned little one :joy:

Get her a flip phone. They still got em. It’s like a punishment but she still has a phone

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That is super young. However I was doing similar things at that age and it’s because I had been abused so my curiosity towards sec started a lot earlier. I would sit down and talk to her in a loving way, not shameful. And see if it was her and if so where the curiosity is coming from. Be gentle.

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Also instead of yelling at her about watching porn you guys should explain it to her since She is already is watching it. This is not a normal sign though of child being interested in porn someone has shown her yes. Disable the Internet browser that’s basically how you go watch free porn.

Kids of today know so much about phones and computers and how to hack certain devices from other peers at school so I’d say someone has possibly shown her even. Also I was caught at about 9 looking in my dad’s playboy mags so it definently is a normal thing but in saying that maybe it’s time you and your girl sit down and have a chat about the birds and the bees and self respect. Young I know but kids of today are starting young unfortunately

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Step mom of a 9 year old who has had a phone since he was 4. It’s horrible. No child should ever have a phone. My step child mother linked his phone to hers. I decided to check his phone make sure he wasn’t doing anything inappropriate. Well his mom has a side job as a prostitute. Every text message dirty pic went to her son’s phone :woman_facepalming:

First of all why can’t you both as parents use each other’s phone for points of contact? Giving your 7 year old that much responsibility and freedom on a smart phone is a recipe for disaster. With a tablet for entertainment purposes you can supervise etc, however with a smart phone its with her all the time!!!

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7 year old should not have a phone

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No 7 year old should have a smart phone is the first place.

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Trust your gut! This is a sad situation to be in.pray to God for help.many teens and parents are in this same mess. Please Lord protect this child

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A seven year old can barely fit a cell phone in their hands. .if your seven year old is carrying a phone, that means there is no adults around who can take a call on their behalf …your soon to be ex needs to call you and you hand the phone over to the child that should be by your side …

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What do you think people who divorced did years ago, before phones? :woman_facepalming: Take the phone away, and communicate like adults through the adults cell phones.

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I don’t know many 7 year olds that are even interested in or know about such things… someone introduced her to that. My 7 year old gets grossed out by people kissing…

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Get her a flip phone and take away the smart phone.

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Leave it alone. Pay for the bark app for her phone & see what’s happening. Don’t tell anyone its there.

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Has your daughter been sexually abused? Usually not always but usually kids that young are hypersexual due to some sort of sexual abuse be happing to them

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Change the password and see what happens

Porn at 7🤔 That little girl has either seen some shit or been through some shit.

They make phones for little kids called fire flys and they can only call like 4 ppl no text no internet

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caught my 10yr old watching porn on my computer once, took away the privalage of using my computer. He then ran up my cable bill ordering adult movies shortly afterwards (no lock code, didn’t think I needed one at the time), locked down the tv. He never received any other technology until he was 16 and was able to pay for it on his own. 7 is too young to have any technology imo.

U can put a monitoring app on your phone to see what websites she goes on. My seven year old has a phone to. I noticed certain websites pop up spam sex ads. YouTube is one

She didn’t ask y’all if she was age appropriate for a phone. :upside_down_face:

I would say sit her down and talk about it. Simple. I’ve known children that would do similar things and it’s normal for them to be curious because they are exposed to a lot nowadays. Just make sure that she feels comfortable talking to you. Surly the truth will come out much easier if you address the situation calmly.

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Seven is WAY too young to have a cell phone. These days phones are NOT just phones. They are literally handheld computers and you can access anything on them. You can put all the restrictions you want on them, but there’s ways around those. I strongly suggest reconsidering allowing your child to have a phone. There’s plenty of ways she can communicate with both you and her Dad without one. However, if you absolutely feel that she needs to have one, they have cell phones for kids that have zero bells & whistles on them. Standard old school flip phone that strictly allows her to make and receive calls & nothing else. No Internet, no apps, no data or web use. Or a Trac phone from the gas station. Same thing. BASIC old school cell. That’s it.

With that being said, you need to investigate how she came across porn in the first place. Someone or something led her to see that. Whether someone told her what porn is and her curiosity got the best of her, or she saw it somewhere, or someone showed it to her or used the phone to look at it. She didn’t just stumble across that.

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Change her plan to a phone thats call and text only I have a phone that’s all my plan is it was 30 a month then it went down to twenty

That sounds pretty weird if you got passcodes turned on

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She shouldn’t have a phone :face_with_raised_eyebrow: in that case she shouldn’t watch TV (cartoons included) or go to school around peers because that same exposure that she can find on that phone (that OP stated why she has it) can be found in those places too :woman_shrugging: Nothing insightful or helpful to add then tend to your own offspring. I would start by talking to my daughter.

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Geez… people giving their unwanted opinion about age and divorces. :woman_facepalming:. NO ONE ASKED ABOUT THAT!

I would sit her down and talk to her about sex. I don’t know if 7 yr olds are interested these days , I’d hope not, but just be calm and explain everything to her.

Ask her why she chose to visit those sites. Ask her has anyone talked about sex or porn and if so who.

Just make sure you stay calm. Jumping all over her will just make her want to look more.

Can definitely get a cheap no data phone.

I would forget about that little friend of hers and see if this happens again. that would explain a lot……

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Take the phone away.

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I totally did the same thing as a child not gonna lie. curiosity was all it was and I didn’t have sex until I was 18! talk to her about legalities and safety. it’s not safe for someone her age to watch people having sex. and it’s not legal. mom and dad could get into trouble even though they didn’t know. make sure you’re using words she understands that it’s not only mom and dads rule but the people who run the state said it’s a no no. limit time on the phone for sure. she’s gonna keep doing it yall know kids don’t listen lmao

Why doesn’t she just have a phone that has just text and call?
And also why does she need to take it to her friends house.

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Delete the internet from her phone🤷🏻‍♀️

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She doesn’t need a smart phone to keep in contact with you. Get her a flip phone. No data. And talk to her about what she was watching. You can’t take it back so its best to just face it head on. Beating her ass will not solve anything. You need to get her to talk to you about why she was watching that kind of content and explain that its not appropriate for someone her age.

She could of seen a movie and got curious and looked it up. Especially if she was with other people. When I caught my child a bit older than yours I grounded from the phone 3 months. And had a conversation with her that it was not the way God intended things to be and the expectations of watching it are not gonna apply in real life

Your just gonna have to sit her down and have a talk with her as in how she got past the restrictions and why she was looking up that stuff. There’s really no other way to go around it. Communication. My 8 year old has a phone because her dad doesn’t let her call me when she’s with him and I worry alot. So don’t listen to these other ones nagging about a phone. Hope all goes well :heavy_heart_exclamation:

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I have a 7 yr old and her dad and I had bought her a phone so when she’s with him I could duo call her and she could only watch YouTube on wifi at their place. The innocence in my 7 yr old makes me feel like ur baby wasn’t watching porn on her own, nor did she find it. I would be more concerned figuring out how she and if she did in fact found those websites. Thats very alarming to me, have u tried asking her about it? Please do and see what is going on. Its not normal for them at that age to “find” those websites on their own.

Sounds like it was probably the FRIENDS idea

Check if her Google/safari/search engine has parental block on it.m. it is easy to turn on and off as well though, so I would turn off any data all together on her phone. Children have no need to have access to Internet without an adult.

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Talk to your daughter

Talk with her…my kids had something similar…my 10 yr old was somewhat guided by the 15 yr old neighbor boy to use his own tablet to watch porn…and my 6 yr old daughter,7 yr old son and the neighbors 3 yr old daughter was also around when this happened… thankfully my son come to me but after watching and being exposed to it…I talked with the neighbors mom…and I sat and talked with all my kids separately about it and a bit together…my 2 youngest didn’t really watch but was present when it was being watched so there talk was a bit different but I first had to calm down…and realize he is a kid…and gather myself and my thoughts…but when I did I sat and spoke to him about what he watched why it’s not appropriate and he shouldn’t be watching it…we talked about yes he is a boy and I understand that boys seem to be more into that thing but at the age of 10 it’s to young…that I understand he is curious and one day he will be able to explore but for now he is to young and that doing those things comes with somewhat of a rule and responsibility but point blank for NOW he isn’t in any way being exposed to it…or going to be exposed to it anytime soon…that he is a child and needs to stay a child and that it’s not exceptible things to watch…we had a big talk… calmly and talked about the issue why’s it’s not ok…why what he did was wrong and how it was wrong…I didn’t try and degrade him personally or make him feel more embarrassed or ashamed or whatever then he did esp since by this time he knew that his neighbor friends mom knew and knew we( he was why) but i talked and educated him on the content being not in his age range or in the age range of puberty or curiosity…I personally and you can call it bad parenting but I’d rather my kids feel comfy to talk to me instead of not telling me things and them hiding or messing up due to no guidence…but I told him when he hits puberty and he gets older that I understand porn or magazines will be something your interested in…I know you may need special lotion and more socks,more time in the shower and I will work with him when the time comes but for now I told him he is 10 and his weenie isn’t used for nothing but peeing and that’s how it needs to stay…when the time comes…I’d be more then willing to find an appropriate and responsible way to go about it…that being 10 and watching something your way to young for infront of or with other small children isn’t it…that porn is for when your older and it’s something you do private and or your wife if she is into it…but I found the bad situation to educate,and show him I’m willing to understand the innocent mistake and curiosity…and talk it out…I think you should sit with your daughter calmly and ask her how she come across porn…who introduced her to it…I’d also ask due to her age and obviously an adult having to have taken the restrictions off about herself…and if anyone is doing anything to her…just cover all your bases…she is a child…she is really innocent in it all…you need to talk, educate,and guide her…not beat her ass and belittle her and make it seem like she is some perv either…sex is normal…but it’s not for children and thats what need to be made clear…and you need to make sure to find out how she got on the site,who put her there and make sure she isn’t put in the position again or around an adult or older child that’s exposing her to this…that needs to be figured out and handled…but do so calmly and with a bit of understanding on your daughter end…don’t make her feel horrible or whatever just love her and educate her the best you can at her age and why she isn’t,can’t,and won’t do it again…and of course check up on her and make sure she isn’t but she is a child that has been exposed to some grown stuff and she needs to be corrected not beat her ass or whatever…but I’d recommend maybe a phone that doesn’t have internet access…my parents had my sister and I on there plans and they got a statement each month of the phone logs…even if we tried deleting it…but the calls, the times and date and then they also got out txt msgs…they didn’t have the ability to see what the msg said but a to who from who and the time and date…but maybe look into getting a phone or an app that allows you to monitor all she does…no internet access and you see her msgs,calls and know when and who she is or was talking to…but her being exposed…she knows about it and now you need to find out who has done this…get that person on the same page with you…or block them from being involved…and your going to need to monitor her…but good luck and understand she is a child…she was exposed to this…in some small way she is a victim here…and she needs guidence…she needs love and support and no offense by this statement but she needs protection…she needs to be protected from this happening again…you also need to talk with her about the things she seen are between married people or people that are old enough…and not to try anything she has seen with herself or anyone else…and make sure she knows if someone is doing things to her ( just the fact someone would allow her to watch it seems kinda weird) to tell you that she would not be in trouble…that you are just trying to protect her…come from a loving place…nothing else…

Get her a Nokia 3330 if it’s just so she has contact?

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I’d be getting her a flip phone from boost mobile. Nothing but talk and T9 texting.

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To the naysayers, she is NOT to young for a phone. In this day and age you can’t trust ANYBODY. If my child is in an uncomfortable situation and wants to come home or needs me she WILL have a way to contact me herself.

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She should just have a flip phone. Something that only does phone calls.

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Take the phone away. Kids can usually find things out very easily and she either knows the code or a way to get around it… obviously…

IPhone stores passcodes. Just an FYI.

Some apps (geared towards children) have inappropriate ads, commercials and/or links.

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It’s not good for her mind

Umm, unless she is speaking to you or her dad, she doesn’t need access to that phone.

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I’d get her a phone u can only text and call on. I’m sorry that is awful. She’s only a curios child, somehow she stumbled upon it on the internet.

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Can’t she just pull up a private browser and get around the restrictions?

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Okay so as a punishment I would go and get a flip phone just for now and make her earn back that phone so she can understand that but she was looking at was wrong and is punishable don’t listen to these people about not being able to have a phone my child has a phone he’s nine and he’s had a phone since he was 6. curiosity is something all children go through whether it be the friend or her finding out herself. Just sit her down and have a conversation with her everything does better with communication.

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She can communicate with you and her dad with a flip phone.There is no need for a phone with internet access…. Especially for a 7 year old.

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I don’t know about the parental controls etc but what about getting her one of the kids smart watches instead, it’s more age appropriate and she can’t get on to anything she shouldn’t?x

Why does a 7 year old need a smartphone? Get a basic no frills “use this to call or text” flip phone and only give it to her when she absolutely needs it. Kids can figure out things pretty quickly.

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I would have said if she was a teenager that it might be a natural curiosity but 7 is really young. Is there any behavior changes that you have noticed? This can happen in situations where a child is being sexually abused. Not saying that is it but it is something to be aware of.

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Make sure the website restrictions are on…because when setting up my kid’s iPads( they are ages 8.5 & 4) screen Time doesn’t block the internet usage for the most part, you have to change it to approve certain websites yourself after you restrict the internet . And someone definitely showed her that stuff online so you better just check it all out and then punish her accordingly

Get rid of the phone and get a Spacetalk watch. No internet just text and call. Problem solved.

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After my divorce my daughter 3 at the time had a tablet with restricted everything no app ect this was five years ago and the lost model it didn’t even work well one day my daughter came back from her dad and she was playing on the tablet and I saw a picture that made my heat stop instantly took the tablet I’m not sure how long she has use it at her dad but he was the only other adult besides my self with the passcodes it was loaded with porn !!! :scream::skull::sob::face_with_symbols_over_mouth: I was so angst I recorded it all as evidence and then smashed it because I was so freaked pissed off

The mom could be lying. She may also have come across an innocent kids show that some sicko put porn in. Talk to your daughter! Find out what happened. Don’t go off punishing her just because an adult said something. You’ll be teaching her NOT to come to you with things later.

There are kid safe phones where they can only call out I would look into that and take away the other phone

Honestly I have seen some horrific videos even on kids YouTube…it could have been something she accidentally clicked on. Restrictions don’t stop everything unfortunately

Yikes… this goes WAY BEYOND preventing access. I would DEFINITELY start there (obviously) but you need to deal with the images your child has seen. This breaks my heart for this child. I read a statistic that says most girls will be exposed to porn by the age of 8. I was shocked it could happen that young, then I saw this :sleepy:

My kids are 10 and 8 and do not have phones…they use mine and their fathers to talk to the other parent when they are with us. Why can she not use yalls phones instead of having one of her own…too young to have her own phone at this time.

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Try to put family link on her phone
You can put a whole lot of restrictions on it
You can set timers and turn off her phone from yours
I use it for my 13 year old daughter
You can also see where they are at from your phone

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