My daughters dad has a new girl over every weekend: Advice?

My daughters dad has a new chick around every time my daughter is at his house…what can I do? Okay sooo my daughter is 5 and is a very smart , brilliant little girl. I have full legal custody of her and her dad has two weekends a month monitored visitation by his mother… She is at her dads house every other weekend and every time she is there he has some new different random girl around the whole weekend my daughter is there. The random girls are sleeping over and all that the whole weekend my daughter is there… what can I do about it? I pick up my daughter on the Sunday that she goes to his house and the whole car ride back she keeps asking why her daddy has a new girl there every time she is there. My daughter only goes there for two weekends a month. Like shouldn’t he be doing this stuff when my daughter isn’t in his care? If I bring it up to him he just curses me out and tells me to mind my own business… but like I’m pretty sure my daughter is my business … I’ve been with my husband for 6 years and he’s the only guy she actually knows besides her dad… I just don’t know. what I can really do about it but like it’s not a stable situation for a little kid I don’t think anyways

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Imagine how different these comments would be if a mom was letting random men sleep over every time her child was home.
I agree with OP. Random people should definitely not be sleeping over with this child there. That’s so dangerous.

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While I 100% agree with mom that this shouldn’t be happening, there really isn’t anything to do unless the child is being hurt/neglected.

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I would let the court know what he’s doing and let them know that you are uncomfortable with random women being around your daughter every other weekend especially when it’s a different woman every time. Also reminds him of the terrible example that he’s setting for his own daughter.

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It’s his time and if she isn’t being hurt, then I see nothing here for you to do. Daddy has lots of friends is a good enough answer for her and move on.

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He’s allowed to do what and who he wants. It’s none of your business. If you child is safe and being taken care of then get over it. Sorry, not sorry.

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There’s literally nothing you can do. Unless the woman are hurting your daughter in some way. But I went thru this and courts basically told me I can’t control what he does at his house or who he has over. So I just did what I could as a mom and explain that Dad has different friends and you don’t know why he changes them so much. I mean it’s really all you can do. Or talk with the grandma and see if she understands your concern and can speak with your ex or put rules down. But the courts won’t do anything unless the child is being neglected or hurt.

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I would just say Daddy has lots of friends

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I get people saying it’s his business But how he affects his child is both parents business. Courts may help if you can prove it’s a different girl each time and that your child is confused and smart enough to know to ask questions. I would try a meditation session to set terms .

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It doesn’t always have to be negative. You can’t do anything about it, that’s his time. If you want to be impactful then you need to let her know that her father has girls around because he is trying to find the right one for him. As long as they treat her right, then it’s okay, but if they might not stick around if they aren’t right for each other. Or, you could take the negative route and bash her father. Up to you.

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There’s nothing you can do. He’s the father and as long as your babes is being cared for, then his personal life is just that.

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Take him back to mediation. You already said he has to be supervised with her. Have it written that he can’t have strange women around your daughter.

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Just curious on how the time line works…. With husband 6 years and have a 5 year old with this guy… am I the only one who noticed this?

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I’d would be upset too. 4 days a month is all he gets with his kid and you’d think he would focus all his attention on her. Shame on his mother for not setting him straight :flushed:

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If this mom had men there every other weekend with the kids there would probably be all kinds of things going on. I can’t Imagine.but a man does it it’s different? I’ll never understand that!

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Unfortunately not much you can do unless you can prove they are being unsafe while the child is there. He has a right to be with whoever he wants. Even if you don’t like it.

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All you can do is ask him politely to change his ways :woman_facepalming: good luck :four_leaf_clover: with that.

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As long as he’s spending the weekend with her, doing things with her, spending quality time with her- there’s nothing you can do. If he’s getting his mom to watch her, If she’s playing on her own, hes ignoring/neglecting her and spending his time with his girlfriends, that’s an issue.

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In my brother and SIL papers the court ordered that no one was aloud around the kids from 10pm till 7am unless married saved alot of women from coming and going in the kids lives since he had full custody

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This is a situation that goes to court. You request he doesn’t have anyone around your daughter until they have a stable relationship and after a period of time.

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No no he’s needs to not have that going on yes kids know things trust me the stories I’ve heard with a little digging he only gets that time with her it should be a 100% her time and he can pick up a girl during the week and have her gone when its baby time simple

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You aren’t with him anymore, but still want to dictate who what where when why he spends his 2 weekends a month with his child? Come on. He gets 8% of a month. You get 92%. I guess be glad that she gets most the month of stability with you and your husband.

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If your daughter is 5 and you have been with your husband for 6 years how is he not her dad? Just curious.

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I really do not think that there’s anything you can do about it, but he has monitored visitations for a reason, if he is living at his mom I will have a conversation with her about how you and your daughter are feeling about this issue , ask her if she can ask him to not have women over when your daughter is there .
It’s that doesn’t work and you are really concerned about it , go to the court and ask , asking will not hurt you .

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The reality is you don’t get to dictate what happens on dads time. Is it appropriate no, do you like it, also no. At the end of the day 95% of what she sees is things at your house if you and your husband have a healthy relationship and all then that’s what she will emulate later in life.

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Nothing you can do about it. He is right its none of your business. I would be saying the same if it was the other way around and you were changing men every week.

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I would think if his visitation is supervised, that wouldn’t be allowed. 

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I had it put into my parenting plan that no one of romantic interest is to be introduced to our children for a minimum of two months of steady dating. He only had a gf for as long as he was allowed to live with them. It’s not healthy.

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First I’m confused…if he has monitored visitation with his mother why is your daughter staying at his house(or does he live with his mother)and not his mother’s and why does his mother allow this?
Unfortunately there isn’t much you can do about it, if you take it to court they will say you are being petty and blow it off. They will tell you, it is his time and he can choose to spend it anyway and with whoever he wants.

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Now normally I would say while this isn’t okay for your daughter to be seeing, I don’t know if there would be really anything you could do. But since it is supposed to be supervised by his mother, and she isn’t really doing a good job supervising by allowing him to have random women in and out, then you may have a leg to stand. I would bring it up to your/an attorney and see what they have to say, some will do a free consultation to answer some questions so you can see what your options are.

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Unfortunately there’s nothing you can do. My daughters dad did the same thing from the time she was 4, she’s almost 14 now, and has seen first hand how he is and has decided to only go with her dad for lunch once or twice a month.

Unfortunately absolutely nothing… his time his place, you can’t control it

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Daughter is 5…but youve been with your husband for 6years…:thinking:
His house…his time nothing you can do

And if the child actually gets hurt by someone everyone commenting its none of her business would be asking why the mom didn’t do anything :woman_shrugging:

Also are you sure his visits are being monitored? There’s not much you can do about who he has at his house other than bring it up to the courts as a safety concern but its probably not going to do anything, however if hes required to be monitored and not actually being monitored than that can be a big issue.

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You can take him back to court and make it a stipulation that he can’t have a significant other around the child unless they have been together for an x amount of time. My son’s dad was the same way for a while and that’s how we did it

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Unfortunately there is nothing you can do, that is his life and who he chooses to spend it with is none of your business. Unless and or until, your child’s well being is in question, I’d just leave it alone. You could try taking it to court but I don’t think you would get anything out of it.

Honestly even if it’s in court papers it’s super hard to prove. You seeing or your daughter say that won’t be considered proof. It’s real shitty situation but family court doesn’t care about random girls every weekend.

Court. You can request that no one outside of those that actually live at the house are present when your daughter is over.

Get your daughter to write down (with a witness so a lawyer) what she witnesses at the house when she is over, how the woman interact with her and how her father interacts with the woman in front of her.

Tough one you can’t tell him what to do in his own house or who he has around but if you have concerns about your daughter when she is there ie neglect or abuse then you can take it to court so there is restrictions put in place or he has to see her somewhere else on his own like his mum’s or contact centre

We have an amendment in our custody agreement that we are not to introduce our girls to someone we haven’t been solid with for 6 months, meaning no breaks. I personally try to go as long as lo because life is messy. But he doesn’t, and that’s him. But it has stopped him from doing this exact thing your your child’s father is doing.

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Wait, she is 5 and you’ve been with your husband 6 years.

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I say go to the courts. It’s what any good and concerned parent would do whether that’s female or male. Your child comes first and to have these random women over when she is there is absolutely not okay. He had plenty of other days for them to come over🤦‍♀️

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Yes you can go to court and make it so no one he is not married to can be around your daughter

There’s nothing you can do. His time is his time and his personal life is his personal life.

You can bring it to the lawyers/courts attention and express your concerns but unfortunately there’s not much more you can do. Really is sad he can’t use those weekends strictly for his daughter though.

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Take it from someone who is going through court right now, while I don’t agree with what he’s doing and feel the EXACT way you do the courts will do nothing but say his time is his time and unless she’s being harmed in some way that there is nothing you can do. :pensive: however, you could go back to court and get it in writing that without seeing someone for a solid 6 months that they can’t be introduced to your daughter so she’s not confused. The only problem with that being you won’t know for sure if he’s following the order unless your daughter tells you otherwise in which she seems extremely smart for her age!

Normally, I would say there isn’t much you can do. You can modify the CO and have it put in that there is NO sleepovers unless in a serious, committed relationship (be specific with time frame too like 6 months to 1 year). Some custody orders request that the other parent must meet the other parent’s partner before bringing around the child/children. HOWEVER, he has supervised visits and is monitored by his mother so you could ask for 3rd party supervision thru a center. Which would eliminate sleepovers, and definitely cut his time with your daughter. Your daughter’s grandmother shouldn’t be allowing this, and this makes her look bad too. Your ex should be concentrating on his child, not other company.

Have your daughter ask her dad what’s going on !

Unless you get an amendment to your court order stating that no new parties will be introduced unless a certain amount of time of a stable relationship has been completed, I don’t think you have any say in it. If he’s not being an unfit parent, then there’s nothing that can be done unless the court order is amended. I don’t agree with what he’s doing and maybe you can tell your daughter that they are his friends because she’s young and will accept that rn but there will come a time that she will definitely know they aren’t just friends.

Nothing you can do about it. The courts will not do anything. You bringing it to court will only annoy the judge

Everyone saying “get over it” “none of your business” etc. I’m sorry but it is her business. If it was the same girl every weekend then I could understand but a different woman every time the little girl is there? Absolutely not. Have y’all not seen movies, the news, etc. Where the children have died because of abuse from the mom or dads partner or whatever? Like is that not concerning to any of y’all? It doesn’t matter if she isn’t in danger just yet but what happens when she is in danger? God forbid it would be to late. I’ve seen wayyyyy too much nasty in this world especially to children who get hurt, beat on, killed, etc. By their parents “friends” “S/O” na you have every single right to be concerned for your daughter. You never know someone’s intention especially having a new woman around her every single time she’s there. Like is the dad dense? Like he truly thinks it’s okay to have a new woman around his daughter always? And I would be saying the same exact thing if this was a woman doing this. Document this and present it to the court. It’s literally a safety issue for your daughter. It may not be one now but who knows when it will be and I hope it won’t be. Document, document, document and present that documentation to the court and see what they can do about it. Its wrong on his part but I’m even more baffled at the comments on this thread and concerned how some people here dont see anything wrong with this :woozy_face:

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The 5 year old is lot smarter than some of the people commenting. At least she knows it’s gross, and was smart enough to tell her mom she’s constantly being exposed to the nearest vag her father can drag home to his mom’s house. Hopefully the courts will agree it’s an unhealthy safety risk, and limit his visitation

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It all depends on the judge really. But common sense says that if he’s already on supervised visits they may do something about it. Especially if his mom is there during all of this. I can’t see how she would think it was okay either. I know in the “parenting” classes my ex and I we required to take in order to get divorced they went over all that and saying it was a no no. Idc why all these people are okay with it…it’s setting a horrible example and really does have a big impact on the child mentally.

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Can you not take it up with his mother…if she is the one monitoring him…see if maybe she could help in this situation…
Also if she is 5 and u have been married to this guy for 6 years…are u certain this kid even belongs to that guy…cause math really doesn’t add up…it’s awfully close…

She’s asked you about it. Has she asked her dad? If she feels uncomfortable about it you should all discuss it. If YOU feel uncomfortable with it - you should discuss that with your husband to process your feelings on kt

Tell the court about it. Unless they are married he shouldn’t be having different women there constantly.

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If the child isn’t in danger or being neglected, there is nothing you can do. You have no say what happens at his house but feel free to mention it in court but I can guarantee they will tell you the same.

Depends my state has a no overnight guests set up in the default custody orders

Slut shaming isn’t cool anymore and monogamy (short or long-term) isn’t the only option out there
Dad is free to date whoever he wants, you BOTH need to figure out how to explain it age appropriately to your child

It really is none of your business unless she’s being hurt while in his care, unfortunately.

Anytime your daughter asks about a new girl, just tell her daddy has a life too and it’s not something you two should discuss.

I mean, she’ll eventually figure it out :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Unfortunately there’s not a lot you can do. A judge won’t modify an order for this reason. Really it isn’t your business, that’s his bed of thorns to lie in. All you can do is explain to your daughter that is not how you do things and it’s her dad’s life. It’s already monitored visitation, not much more you’re going to get a court to do.

I live in Oklahoma and you 100 percent can have papers drawn up he can’t have females over night during the stays. I know cause I’ve done it and my friend is going through it right now with his baby mama who also just had it put in papers.

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I’m a little confused on the visitation if it’s supposed to be supervised but it’s at his house, is the mother also spending the night there? So it’s grandma, child, and dad/new girlfriend? You could ask the courts to address it, but really… It sounds like it would be an easier approach to explain to your daughter that her dad is a social person and has a whole lot of friends and just kind of leave it at that. I don’t necessarily think it’s setting a bad example. It’s setting a realistic example of how life can be. She’s there for 4 days out of the month. She’s home with you and your husband for the rest of the time and she sees your relationship. She sees the reality of life and relationship and she’ll grow to learn what’s healthy and what isn’t. That’s just my opinion about it, anyways.

Well you could ask that a 3rd party unrelated to dad supervise

Unless your daughter is complaining about being treated badly, mind your business.

Talk to a lawyer. I’d want to change monitors. Isn’t it gmas job to make sure he’s parenting your daughter right? I’d also want to change the parenting agreement that he can’t have women around her unless a wedding date is set & invitations are sent.

Petition the court requesting that your daughter not be around other women (or men) goes for you too. Since his visitation is supposed to be supervised by his mother, I think you said, there’s a good reason why, and this is another reason.

Your daughter is 5 and you’re with your husband 6 years ???

Shes 5 but you been with hubby 6yr? Confused

So it doesn’t make sense. You’re with your husband for 6yrs and your daughter is 5yrs old. Did I miss something?. Did you jump from one guy to another. Or did you cheat on your husband with your baby daddy. Need some explanation here :woozy_face::joy:

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I say report it. If his visits are supervised then bring that up as the issue. The supervisor isn’t doing her job if the parent has strangers sleeping over when the child is there.

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It’s already ordered for supervised visitation? Did I read that correctly? If so take his ass back to court.

Amazing to see how many women think this is ok. Please don’t listen to such disempowering advice. Protect your daughter as this kind of thing can have long term emotional and psychological consequences for her. Please advocate for your daughter :pray:

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You can’t control who he brings around her without a court order stating it. And good luck getting that

You have bee with your husband for 6 years but you have a 5 year old with another man???

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You can ask to have a different supervisor of the visits as well. Maybe not his mother, someone in your family and make sure this doesn’t keep happening

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It is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!! UNLESS YOU WANT TO POST YOUR RELATIONSHIPS FROM THE PAST…she’s five and you’ve been with your “husband” for 6 years…didn’t waste anytime did ya…soooo who is the real baby daddy…has paternity been established…child support set, and visitation by the court…:thinking:…alot of holes in this story.

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so you’ve been with your husband for 6 years, but your daughter is only 5?? I feel something missing from your story

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You’ve been with your husband for 6 years but your daughter with someone else is 5? :thinking:

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Get it written in the custody agreement that he can not have random females around her

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Its none of your business WHO comes to his House.After all it is his house

Random question, how is your daughter 5 and you’ve been with your husband for 6 years?

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Yeah, you can’t do shit about it. If your child is not in any danger, nothing you can do about that besides mind your business. Can’t control everything :woman_shrugging:t2:

As long as these females aren’t mean to her… there’s really nothing you can do

You can get a lawyer and put a clause about who the child is introduced to and after a certain amount of time etc.

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Read your custody papers. Mine says unless you are married, no one of the opposite gender is allowed to stay between the hours of 10pm-6am

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Nothing. You can do nothing.

I’m just stuck on you’ve been with your husband for 6 years and your daughter with this other guy is 5🤷

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Honestly there is nothing you can do it’s his time and she’s not being hurt or neglected. Daughter will see and learn that he’s not stable in relationships so it will be important to maybe teach her not to get attached to dads “girls” so when they are gone she’s not hurt.

Your daughter is 5. U been with husband 6 years .and u question his morals. Just saying

Ummmmm, Husband of 6 years and 5 year old :flushed::flushed: Why do I feel like more to story :joy: Unless ordered by court no female/ male sleep overs, nothing can do but talk to him

You say daddy has a lot of friends. That’s a question you ask daddy and his friends. Lol :joy:

This messes with the child mentally. I would talk to your attorney. He is getting supervised visits for a reason. Maybe speak to his mother who is supposed to be supervising.

You said that you have full custody so whats the pro blem? Stop taking her there,he can’t do a thing about as long as you have full custody.

Yea no, that’s unacceptable and if Y’alls law guardian was any kind of guardian at all they would agree. Supervised visitation is for the PARENT and child to spend time together, outside visitors should be a common sense no-no…

How have you been with your husband for 6 years if your daughter is 5?

Your daughter is 5… but you have been with your husband (who isn’t her dad) for 6 years?

Dad shouldn’t be doing that but you have no say.

If he has supervised visitation, why aren’t they at grandma’s house. If grandma is condoning this behavior then it’s time for a new visitation supervisor, which is going to mean no more overnights.

Nothing. You cant do a thing. Try to keep busy if it upsets you

Depends on the judge but you can raise your concerns and they very well might see your reasoning