My daughters dad will not communicate with me: What can I do?

How do you guys deal with a parent who WILL NOT communicate with you? My daughter is six, and he gets her four days a month. He never asks anything about her, but when he brings her home he always tells me how I should be raising her. I don’t get it.


He can’t tell you how to raise her when he’s a “parent” only 4 days a month.


Tell him to get on the jet plan and fly south


If he’s refusing, let it be. As long as she’s coming home clean and happy, no reason to push the issue.


Hows that not communicating lol? Even if it a little he’s her dad not yours. I mean she is six he can speak with her. Besides he can say whatever he wants just like you but does it really change the parenting choices you both make for her whenever and who ever she is with? He is her dad and is input is as valid as moms. As long as you are both taking care if her well seems like it’s workable.


File for sole custody

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My son’s father sees him once a month for 2 hrs, not during the month or these 2 hrs does he seem interested in getting to know him. He just seems interested in taking pics to prove he’s involved. My son doesn’t call him any names nothing. I don’t force it. When he turned 2 he had the nerve to tell me to start potty training him, like seriously you do nothing an try to order me around Idts. He really has no say either. I vowed to raise my son with manners respect be loving etc. Good qualities. Ignore his bs


I don’t see a big issue here. I do see the complaining where he sees her 4 times a month. I am curious! Did you offer this child more time with her daddy?? Is she happy?? What will be best for her? She is six now. You chose this man and he chose you so together you need to work to get this child to a place of calm happy and safe consistent living. She deserves her daddy in the same way she deserves you as her mom. Neither one of you is above the other in terms of relevance.


He’s probably just trying to get a rise out of you. Take you daughter and just tell him to have a great day.


Ignore him. It’s hard but it’s the only way to “win”. If he makes comments in front of your daughter, let him know that’s not appropriate and he can call you at a later time. Don’t get upset, just let it go to a black hole in your brain.
Don’t worry about him not communicating any other time, be grateful because he’d just use it as a chance to get to you.


Passive aggressive behavior maybe he is mad about something but if he refuses to talk to you then really theres nothing that can be done because your daughter needs her dad . I would just ignore him and walk away when he starts in on stuff. If he wont communicate then dont either as long as your daughter is safe ,clean coming home it is what it is .I know it sucks not co parenting if you tried then you tried maybe here or there extend olive branches if he refuses to take any at least your trying. The best to do is maybe just accept that you two cant communicate for some reason.

I’d take it in one ear and out the other. Kill him with kindness. Sounds like he just wants to upset you. I’d just say ok have a great day or whatever and leave with your daughter. Good for your daughter to see you being civil too.


While it’s not his choice to only get her 4 days a month, there is likely a reason for it…
Because that’s not anywhere near the typical awarded time.

Honestly I wouldn’t even bother to communicate beyond those 4 days.
Do what YOU wanna do and raise her how YOU see fit.
In one ear and out the other.


Bring in a mediator for communication. A friend or family member maybe.

Communication is a major key to successful coparenting maybe it’s how he said it that bothers you it can make a big difference I don’t know if he feels the need to say these things bc you have her majority of the time not sure of situation but would he be happier with more time with her ? Maybe then he will feel more like he is helping raise her just a thought

He has every right to make parenting decisions. Kinda disgusting of you to only give him 4 days n to assume you’re the only parent who has any say. I wouldn’t wanna communicate with you either 🤷


If he’s “telling you” then, it’s an opening for conversation. Turn it into a discussion. Take the ego out of the equation, that’s the biggest obstacle in coparenting. Offer more time. Ask for suggestions.
It’s really rough getting through the egos, but worth it when your child will have two great parents that can communicate in the child’s best interest.
I’ve been there, teeth grinding frustration. It’s still worth the effort to get past whatever is hanging up the coparenting. :heart: Best of luck.

Leave him alone. At least hes involved


I’ve stopped trying to communicate. He doesn’t bother trying to contact my kids but is saying to me “have the kids call me” when it’s convenient for him. No. I will not be the one who tries to “maintain” your relationship with them.

Edit: this is like once every couple months he does this. He doesn’t provide. And when he isn’t working, he doesn’t ask to see the kids or anything. So I’ve stopped trying.


If your daughter isn’t complaining about her dad and his parenting when she’s over there, then ignore it. She might act one way at her dad’s compared to your house.


Mine blames me for him not coming around or seeing her

Don’t worry about it… let him get her 4 days a weeks like he’s been doing and that’s it. Sounds like he’s an ass so why would you want to have to talk to him more?

My favorite dismissal: “Thank you for sharing.” :wink:

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Tell him feck off what r u looking for a man who has four days is he a proud man at that I wouldn’t hand my child out then cop on girl

Really girl tell him to fuck off an until he can be a real daddy to bite the big one an Shut the door

Tell him to write our a list and you will get right on it.

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Lol shut the door in his face when he drops her off. Say text me. Then u can show ur lawyers when hes nasty.

I try the best I trow the tower bc my daughter father don’t do ntn he stop coming n pick her up sincen she was 8 yrs old he miss 2 graduation ceremony, n left her behind when he went to universal Studios Florida, that is not nice n only see her twice a year her b’day n Xmas for 5 minutes don’t call her n when I try to talk to him he’s wife is the 1 answer all the conversation so my daughter tell me now I don’t care if want to talk m look for me he got my cell number n my daughter is 15 I do everything he don’t help me at all but just let ur child see n she will say something good luck…

I don’t speak to my kids dad I give them to them wen he gets them and that’s it it’s easier to deal with and what he does say to me I walk away

For the ones saying there’s a reason he only gets 4 days out of a month:
There is NO good reason for a Dad to only get 4 days a month, if he’s a good Dad. That’s only every other weekend. Let it be a mother only getting 4 days out of a month though. There would be hooping and hollering about how unfair it is. Double standard bullshit!

I won’t talk to my ex on the phone unless I pick it up and he is on the phone. My only communication is through emails and my lawyer.
The reason is due to the abuse I received from him. See if a round table meeting with an independent person controlling the discussion. You might get an outcome this way.

Tell him no talk no opinion !

Just go with the flow. Think about what he said but really 4 days a month doesn’t tell him much. She will explore what she can get away with I would think at that age. She really doesn’t know him. Kind of like a babysitter for 4 days.

When he starts, interrupt and say : “You know, I had some thoughts I wanted to run by you too. When do you want to get together and discuss all of this? Right now, I’m late for x”. Just do that every time, he’ll either leave you alone because he doesn’t want to talk about anything more than his issues or you’ll get time to discuss things.

Hey afton you are doing a good job as a mother and that’s right dont listen to no man

4 days a month ! Really!?