My daughters father has 2 weeks to live: How can I tell her?

Please lean on hospice to help you all through the grieving process & if you have a faith, have it’s leaders visit to provide comfort and support. I’m so sorry. This must be so devastating for you all. :sob::broken_heart: I’m crying just reading this.

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I wouldnt say two weeks like that. Id just say soon…that only God knows…

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1st how old is she? Two years ago this Thanksgiving my husband passed. My daughter was 17 years old but Autistic and functioning about 18 months to 3 years old. He had a falling accident July 2016. He went through 2 brain surgeries and a heart surgery died 3 times. Was in ICU 46 days and in Nursing home rehab 100. He came home Thanksgiving 2016. Went into hospital 3 times before going to Hospice in our home October 2017. All we did was be as normal as possible. She went to see her Daddy every day while in Hospital and Rehab. She ate her dinner with him when he came home. Had snacks with him after school watch TV spent as much time as she wanted to. She is also nonverbal so he talked to her we all did. In our case we didn’t know he was going to die. The day before he died she stop coming in his room and didn’t go back in for about two weeks after he passed. He was a Pastor and I am a retired Special Education teacher and Bible teacher so I did his funeral. I went to the public library and got children’s books to read to her after he passed for her to understand. I found one that was great to read at the funeral we had a lot on small children in our church who loved my husband so I preached the celebration from the book for those children and my daughter and grandchildren. It was after his passing we found was hard. Watch your daughter my daughter stopped eating 6 months after his passing and lost 130 pounds we also found out that she had a Genetic disorder that she had toxic blood levels and could no longer eat meat proteins. She was adopted and was it from my husband passing or the fact that her older sister had both gotten sick at about age 16 and meat made them sick at that same age and she just got sicker then them. Or being non-verbal had no way to Express her grief and the the Genetic disorder kicked in at the same time. I will pray for you. I would again just take one day at a time be a family. If you all believe in a higher reach out to them miracle still happen, don’t tell anyone 2 weeks. My God is good and Jesus may have a whole different plan. Just let them play it by ear. Spend time together, let them talk, record it if you can, do what ever they can. If she asks questions answer them in her level. Let her take the lead, I had no one to watch my daughter so I took her to make arrangements, pick up the ashes. Another thing that we made a mistake was her sisters moved out to college campus within two weeks. Everyone quit talking about her Daddy because I was the only one her. Doctors told me after she got sick to start talking more. Like if she gave high 5 ask her who taught you that? Because she stopped smiling. So you might need to bring up things she and her dad did or what her dad taught her if she is young. I don’t know if any of this helps. Don’t give up. God is Good and good all the time. I Pray Jesus gives The peace of God that passes all understanding.

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Start with all three of you then discreetly make your exit when you feel the time is right.
Tell her on a weekend Fri night so she has a few days to adjust…
Will take time tho.
Or pull her from school for a week to give her time with her father.
Either way you are a family and should tell her as a family unit.

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All 3 need to sit down & talk it out together! But She has an idea that’s something’s wrong, kids aren’t dumb.

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First of all im so sorry for him and you and your daughter prayers are with all 3 of you but i think it would be best if you all 3 sat down in tge same room and it came outta your mouth but atleast hes there to answer any questions… Again prayers with all 3 of you… And how old is your daughter?

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This little girl deserves to know whats going on we share our lives with or kids parents forget that would you not tell your partner if you were dying same thing dont pull the rug from under that little girls feet by not telling her in my opinion its a family matter and both parents should be with her for this devastating news so both are with her for support as she will need it then its time to spend together till the time comes

You don’t say how old your daughter is but tell her soon all three of you should be together my daughter was three when she found out she’s the one that got the phone call that said he had died at the hospital she never got over it she’s 40 now

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All 3 of you but how old is the child… That’s a huge factor

Dont give a time frame. Daddys really sick and jes not going to be on earth much longer, spend time with him and make as many memories as you can. If he can, have him write her letters for her birthdays, graduation(s), wedding day. That way he can always be a part of her life

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All three of you should sit down and talk. Your time is short. Also please consider counseling for you and your daughter. I was 7, brother 5 and my sister was 2 when our mom passed (unexpectedly to us)

I would tell her because a dying man (a man you once loved and the father of your child asked you to). He just needs you to break it to her and afterwards, he can have some time with her without the hysteria of her initial reaction. Honor his wishes.

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Both of you for sure. Also, I’m so sorry for y’alls loss

In June my aunt was told she would have 4 weeks to live and she still going strong.

My mom and gpa did their sit down together during his last month battling cancer. Its their time to be filter free and just be together. I’d definitely tell him that he needs to be the one to do this. She will always regret not being able to ask all the questions she needs to ask and have that time of just them coming to terms. Somethings aren’t said in that situation, they are felt

I would give them the time to talk .
Just be there for them

Give them time to themselves, I’m sorry that’s so sad

my husband died within 3months of being told he had lung cancer.i told my 3 daughters right from the start what was happening nd we supported each other till he died which made it a lot easier.xxx

I think he should tell her himself n not put it on you or his family should help hin tell her its not fair on u if your personal relationships over xx

im so sorry for ur loss…let her talk with him…there are things that only he can say, that will not have the same meaning if it doesnt come from him directly. these are things and a conversation she will carry in her heart for the rest of her life, and remember there is no special way to say goodbye to a loved one…its just how its meant to be said naturally…best of luck

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Just be there for them its really hard on all of you but they need this time together as father and child before he goes dont make her hate you or him for dying she will think he left her on purpose you need to make her a part of every thing from now on until hes gone so she dont feel left out of life and him dying let her help with him. I had to with my kids uncle my son was real young not even 2 he would crawl in bed with him. And sit with him and offer him food my daughter would sit with him she was 12. She helpped get his stuff eat drink what ever he needed just make it so where she can do it ok

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All three of you but let him tell her and just be there.

Great message Shelley

I’m a medium and I speak with people who have passed away. I know this is hard but just tell the truth. I’ve dealt with so many clients who were not told the full truth and it leaves them unsettled, sometimes years later. Hugs for you in this difficult time! :heart: Feel free to PM me if you need anything!

I am so sorry for your hardship but talk to the father and ask do you want me to be there to help break the news.This may make it a little easier for your daughter if both if you are there.Good Luck and prayers are with all of you(hugs)

I would hook up with the cancer foundation they have support workers for kids dealing with losing a parent to this shocking disease they will also coach you and her dad how to prepare her for the loss of her dad they will also support you in supporting her both prior and after his death. sending hugs and warmth to you you and your girl at this sad crazy hectic time xx it might be too much for dad to word up to her without support too :heart:

I feel her dad should be the one to tell her they need that time alone

I think that you have the best idea of what is best for your Daughter and her Dad. That is what I did ten years ago. I felt that was the best way to handle this. Go with what you feel is best. It will be ok. God Bless you all.Prayers for your Family

How old is your daughter?

Be there with them she needs you both I’m sorry praying for you all

My grand daughter is 9. When she was 6 she lost 3 uncles. Last year she lost a great grandmother who had lived with her for about a year before she passed. She also her great uncle, my brother. And great grandfather My Dad when she was 8.
She and I are very close. She knows I’m to sick to play Barbie most of the time. My doctor said I have 2 to 5 years to live. She asked me if I was dying. I told her I was sick and would never get better. That at this point what I have will end up killing me. But I don’t think it will be any time soon, that I will get a lot sicker before I die. And even when I do die, she won’t be able to see me but I will be able to see her. I wrapped her up in a blanket and held her close. I told her, when she misses me to wrap the blanket around her and close her eyes. That I will be holding her as tight as I can. And I won’t hurt anymore. She was ok with this.
But we will never put her in the position that she counts down the days of an upcoming death. That would be worse than the actual death.
Watching him get sicker and sicker would be enough to constitute therapy. Don’t make it 100% worse with count down.

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I would think logically and emotionally for the well being of your child that both of you should sit down explain life and death in between. I personally would not specify dates because when we do not determine that Doctors give estimations. What your child and her father ultimately need is time to together. With technology today you can make this an easier transition because the pain of losing a parent is indescribable.

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How old is your daughter? I just went thru this in September his funeral was sept 7th his daughter is 18 and he explained it all to her and stated he wanted her with him when he passed and she was

All three of you should be together, she will need both her mom and dad. although you’re not together anymore I think the sense of unity amongst all three of you will help her cope. that way if she asks questions that he finds too difficult, you might be able to step in and help him through this difficult process as well. I’m so very sorry to you and all of the loved ones affected with this loss. May you help each other find peace in such a difficult time. Prayers sent to you all❣️

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Together. It’s a very emotional time and she will feel better with both of you there. Prayers sent for you all

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I, too would say that you should all three sit down together to tell her. Be honest but depending on age, talk to her in a way she will understand. I would then try and get her to spend as much time with him as possible in his last couple of weeks. Take lots of pictures so she has something to look back on. Cry together, laugh together, pray together and just go through it together

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when my husband died my kids didn’t have a chance to say goodbye. Go with her. You and her Dad need to tell her and talk to her about it. She is going to need you there. She also needs to be able to spend as much time as possible with her dad. I am sorry for what your child is going thru and I will pray for the strength you are going to need from here on out.

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My brother had cancer. He was told he had 3 years tops to live. The following ten years after, they said maybe a few months. They said a few weeks for the next 2 years. They said he won’t make it threw the night for months.They said there was no medical reason for him to be alive for over 6 months. Instead of 2 yrs he lived 14 1/2 years.
I would not ever say he has any set numbers or days ever. That is a certain type of impending doom no child should ever have to endure.
What if they have the timing all wrong. Weeks could become months or years. Don’t do that to her.
Maybe encourage her to read to him every night, or watch a movie with him. A way for her to spend time with him. So she will know she spent time with him and made him happy. This is what we did with my granddaughter. She said she was so glad she had the time with them befor they passed.

You do what you can live with after he is gone! The choices are not easy but there the ones you have to wrestle with later. After losing my fiance to cancer I understand this. No one wants to feel like they should have been there but it’s to late. Because some one else decided for them. Tell the truth. It’s how we as children learn how to grow up to be there for the ones we love…when they are getting a reward or meeting our maker. So sorry for this profound loss. My heart aches

At this time I’ll be praying for you all but I think it will best if mom dad and daughter are all together when she is told she needs all the support she can get

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As a child who lost my dad… DONT… It adds unnecessary stress to the child… And when you explain to her that Dad is no longer here… You just keep telling her that he loved her more than anything on the face of this plant. I highly recommend u buy an audiobook… Best $$ I ever spent. So that ur child can always know what he sounds like.

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Have him tell her but be close by. She needs to have as many memories with her dad (good and bad) as she can.

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Together is best. She will have questions later and if your not there to remember what dad said it will harder for her.

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Have you discussed with her his cancer at all? The treatment hes been going through ECT? If you have then when it happens it might make more sense to her. Not easier but the fact that he has been sick and so on. My thing is what if he makes it more than two weeks?

She needs all the support you can give. Together is best.

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Depends how old she is to what u can tell her and how u tell her.

The only thing I could add to the previous comment. Is dont specify a certain death date!

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In my opinion you should both be there, regardless of your relationship status, etc. She will need both of you during this time.

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She will want both of you there and tell her the truth and how it is

U need to tell her sooner than later honestly. I didn’t even read ur whole post.

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How old is this child???

How old is the daughter?

How old is the child?

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