Hi everyone, I really need some strong advice here. My daughter’s father has been going through cancer for three years, and I have been the one to sit down and talk to her about everything that’s going on I just found out today that he’s got two weeks to live and he wants me to sit down and tell her, and honestly I think the best thing is for her and her dad to sit down, and he discusses everything with her but I don’t know if I should be there in just let them have that one on one time to talk please anyone give me the best advice you can I would appreciate it so much
Be there near by but let him tell her
They’ll both need your support.
Prayers for all of you.
I am so sorry How old is your daughter? Might help to have both her parents there with this news. Prayers mama!
I’m so sorry (((hugs)))
With a situation like that your daughter is going to need all the love and support she can get. Be there but allow him to be the one that tells her.
Shes going to need both of you.
You being there supporting them isn’t going to hurt anyone.
I’d ask him to sit down with her.
But if that’s too much for him, (because it might be and that’s understandable) I’d sit down and explain it to her as gently but honestly as I could. You can probably look up advice on ways to do that on google.
Either way, I’m sorry you’re in this situation. I’ll keep your family in my prayers. Good luck
So sorry.
Both of you being there
Both of y’all should be there and explain it to her. Of course age appropriate. But she should have both of you there for emotional support.
Kids are strong. Just be honest. I just had to tell my boys about my brother who was battling cancer and passed away. Honesty is key.
He needs to tell her.
Yes, you absolutely need to be there.
Very sorry. It sucks. My husband was sick for 8 yrs. My kids were 12 and 18. It’s going to be very hard.
Be there with her they’ll both need your support through it all…
May God intervene amen🙏
It’s something you should talk about all together as a family, if you want him to do the talking that’s fine but be there for support for both of then
Such a very sad story. Who ever tells her, both of you need to be there. Tell her together. It will strengthen all of you.
Prayers for your family. Tell her together, no doubt.
Do it together or be near by when he does. So sorry to hear that, prayers
Let him tell her, you be there for support, be her strength.
It depends on her age how you approach the subject with her. I would get a good child therapist and all of you sit down to tell her. She is going to need a professional to help her get through this.
My heart breaks my prayers are with you.
I am so so sorry.Stay clise by but she should have some private time with her daddy
It will be a memory she will treasure.Gid be with you and your family
If it were me in the daughter’s shoes…
Knowing that I am probably going to get bad news as soon as someone says we need to talk – regardless of the situation, I’d want both parents present.
And if my dad wished my mother to tell me (because I am sure it is very emotional for him to tell himself)…I’d want to be by his side while my mom told me (even though it will be emotional for everyone. She and he are going to need support from everyone. Grieve together and make the best of the last moments.
Very sorry you and your family is going through this.
There is no easy answer. You know your daughter better than anyone. Take your time, be there for her, and tell her you and her father love her very much. Also let her spend as much as time as she can with her father. My prayers and condolences are with your daughter and her father.
From someone I knows life experience… the father attempted to tell his daughters but couldn’t so the mom finished. They were both there for the girls. Prayers for courage and strength.
Ask him what he thinks and would like.
Don’t make him do it. This is practically his dying wish. Buck it up and do the dirty work. You’ll do great mama. The hard work is yet ahead.
Hugs and love
So sad , prayers to you and your family. Id sit down all together and discuss it
I guess it depends on how old your daughter is? If she’s old enough to understand take her to see her father. Is he awake and coherent? If he is let them talk alone so the she and he can say their goodbyes. I watched cancer take my dad 5 years ago. It still hurts till this day but my comfort was knowing he was ready and not scared to go. Best of luck to you and your daughter.
You all need to be together when giving her such news! Praying for you all!
I’d do it as a family and then leave them to spend some time together. She needs lots of lovely memories with her daddy now x
I would have you both there and talk to her at the same time. If you can get something to record him telling her how much he loves her. Take pictures have him write letters to her so that on her birthday every year when hes not there he can give her advise about that time in her life. Make a video she can play for if she gets married. Let her get in as much time with him as she can. your doing good mama. Its gonna be hard but youve got this. I am sooo sorry sending lots of love your way. All us mommys are here for you.
Make your decision quickly. If they say two weeks it’s probably less so do it now.
So sad sorry to hear this so many thoughts and prayers are with you all and I agree with you I believe it should be just him and her when he let’s her know he can think of ways to do it as well if that will help him
I’m so sorrt how things are, I pray for you and yours. good luck, tell her together and be her support
I believe you should both be there and explain it to her!!
Let them have that time together I went through the same thing
You can have both of you a one on one, him first and you second if she have question about the conversation she just had.
Do it all together.
I would be there with her if he is okay with, it just to support her. She may need you for stability.
This breaks my heart. My dad died when I just turned 14. It was definitely hard to move on without my dad. It’s been 20 years and it still hurts. I would suggest he spend as much time with her as he can, make a video so she can watch it many days to years later.
I believe it’s best for Father/Daughter be together for him to talk to his daughter about his health .
I have no advice, but I pray for god to give you and your family strength.
Understanding where you’re coming from, I think it’s important you’re there also…for her
Do it as a family. I just lost my daughter last wk to cancer. Prayers for all of you
Sit down as a family. Regardless of how hard it is or any possible bad vibes towards each other. This is one half of who your daughter came from and it’ll affect her and you for years I’m sure. Love and light to all of you
I’m so so sorry you are going through this… I guess it all depends on how old she is. This is so heartbreaking
do it together. if he can make some videos for her, for her graduation, marriage, 1st child. that would b awesome too
Do it all together is all I can say and just be there for her lots of love and support no matter what age your daughter is this will be hard .
That’s tough. I’m so sorry. If it were me, I wouldn’t. Let her enjoy the time she has with him. Honestly, you can never really prepare for someone to die. But it’s not me.
Prayers for you and your family. I’m so sorry.
Together definitely and let her know that you will always be there for her. Such a hard thing to go through. Stay strong mumma!
If she’s under 12 i wouldn’t tell her. Have her spend as much time as possible until the end. Telling her in advance will cause her a lot of anxiety and additional stress that isn’t necessary. My kids lost their dad last year, they were 9, 11 and 13, it is going to be hard enough once he passes.
Depends on her age and also maturity. Young children need very simple explanations. They don’t understand the bigger picture. If she’s older you may want to explain more. Prayers to your family.
Sit down together to tell her
I think you both should be there together that way she has a good memory of you all.together as well knowing you got along and bboth of you explaining so then she has both of you to hold and cry together i think for her
Go with her and support both of them in this little time. I lost my father to cancer at age 13… I’m in my 30s now and the words of his final days are what molded me to becoming who I am today. Please have him tell her and please be there to support her. You both brought her into this world together and these are the final days she will ever share with both of you together for the rest of her life.
I am so sorry your family is going through this. I will pray for you. Be strong mama. You’ve got this.
Family and then give them alone time if needed
I fill I need too tell you what my husbands doctor told him when we were told he had Cancer. We asked the about the time and he told us, that he could not say an he told us it was up to Len an God. Not him so we put are faith in the lord. Any way you look at it, it is very hard for everyone
Tell her together. Then give them alone time. I am so sorry!
Oh…I’m so sorry! No certain way Dear. You’ll be guided…just ask your faith!!!
If your daughter is young I don’t know if I would tell her you don’t want to calls anxiety and have her fraid to go to sleep.she may be afraid to go to sleep because she will lose her daddy.tbere could make a lot if trouble for her why he is still here .when she should be spending a lot of time with him and enjoy it and maybe yes make a tape of them and maybe make of him explaining why he didn’t want to tell her so she can watch it when she’s older.my love and prayers go to you see I lost my husband on the 8 of November my birthday and it still messes with me …my God wrap his arm around her and your family and hold you …
As a family. Prayers fo all of you
I lost my husband that I was with for almost 11 years to bone cancer. We didn’t get to really say goodbye because he had a surgery go bad and didn’t wake up… Our son was about 3… I don’t know what you should do here but I just wanted to tell you… You will be okay again. The sun will rise tomorrow and time will keep moving.
Do it all together. When my mom found out she only had a month or two left to live from cancer my dad came over and that’s when they told my sister and I the news. It’s possible her dad may have a hard time telling her and would like you the for support.
Ask him if he would like to tell her togather, and then if they want let them have alone time or if they need you stay and be strong for them;)
We are a family of faith, so when my oldest asked about cemetaries and death (she was young), I told her that when people get old, and their bodies give out, God gives them new ones. The only hitch Is that they can’t use them on earth. They have to live in God’s house in their new bodies . . . In this case, Dad probably isn’t all that old, but the simplicity might help - depending on your family’s faith.
I do think it’s good to talk together if you can. He might need you to start the discussion, but he will need to tell her he loves her, and that he wanted to stay here to watch her grow up and to enjoy more great times together. But his body is not working and can’t be fixed anymore. Whenever she thinks of him, he wants her to remember he loves her and he’s wishing he could hug her again. Something to give her words to hang on to when she, too, really wants a hug from him.
My heart crushes & prayers to your family I’m so sorry & god will take good care of you all
You should both sit down with her, depending her age is how it should be worded its something she will always remember
Both need to sit together with her.
First of all in my opinion that’s something you BOTH should sit down an talk with her a out. Regardless of either on of your relationship status is. I say that because you want her to feel comfortable with the situation as possible an having both parents there for her in what is most likely the hardest thing she will ever have to be told. Not sure of your religion or anything but just explain to her that some times our great Lord an savior is calling her daddy home to be with the Lord. It going to be hard living without him an he mite be physically leaving this Earth but she will always have him in her heart an memories, an can talk to him whenever she feels the need she mite not hear him speak back but will hear everything she wants to let him know. An NEVER let her feel like she or you are forgetting him later don the road. Hope this little bit may help
Both of you should be present when you deliver this devastating news. Girls are daddy’s girls…she’s gonna need mom n dad there…
I think you should both be together to tell her that God has a special job for her Daddy to do for God in heaven, and that Daddy will always love her and look out for her and that she should take care of Mommy.
That would be hard, does he want u there when he talks to her, If he does then u should be. How old is the girl ??
Soory, have no advice but prayers
You need to tell her so they can have that time together.
You both need to sit down and tell her and be there for her to help her understand
There is a grief group here on Facebook.
They are such amazing people… maybe some of the members who have similar experiences can lend an opinion.
Sending love
My heart goes out for you sweetie but I agree with alot of what’s been said here. Also if she’s under 8 this is really a step for her father to take but definitely not alone. You both need to be there for each other and hopefully you two can figure out a way of telling her so she understands that it’s daddy’s time to go be with God but at anytime she can call upon him and he will be able to hear her. Show the love and the bond that you guys have as a family and hopefully even though she will be broken but that the love is always there and never forgotten. This will be the hardest thing you’ve probably ever did in your whole life but being together if she’s old enough, she will be able to go on in life knowing the love you guys had together. A love that will always be there !! Good luck with your situation and please tell your husband that this is the only way she can understand what is happening without feeling a disappointment in her heart. If you have faith God will lead you through this.
Together, of course… thoughts and prayers with you
Telling a child their parent has passed or will is one of the hardest things ive ever went through and still go through. My son is 10 and lost his dad to an overdose. There are no words it seems to even try to explain. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family
Let him tell her but by all means be there to support them both
Does he have hospice don’t know how old daughter is but already know s he’s very I’ll and yes both of u if possible
Have him tell her with you there. Sounds like she’s closer with you and would be more comfortable going to you for comfort.
Just die dont tell her
My husband was dx with cancer in October 2011. I was 8 months pregnant with our younger daughter. By October 27th, 2011 we were told he had 6-9 months to live. We sat down together and told our daughter what was going on, but being honest 100% just left the unnecessary parts out. I went to the cancer facility and they had books at her age level to read. Good luck and I’m sorry your going through this!
sit down and speak with her im so sorry for this happening to you and yours… i dont know how youd bring it up but if he doesnt want to momma you do it… its hard to say the words im going to die in two weeks to anyone but the hardest would be to your child… once you speak to her and let her know then give them one on one time with you outside the room to be there for support but yeah thats what id do… again im sooooo sorry
It would be better if he told her himself but it might so stressful for him …so be supportive
I’m not saying not tell her, that’s ultimately you and the fathers decision. I do believe if yous decide to tell her yous should do it together so she is fully aware that she has both of yous to talk to. However I will say from personal experience that they may not be exactly correct with their time frames… we were told a very close family relative had at most 1 week, he ended up living 1 week shy of 8 years from the date he was told and it was even harder to let go as we were told 30+ times that this was it.
I will add that I am sorry yous are going through this.
I would say soon but not two weeks. I don’t think you have to be so specific with the time.
How old is your daughter? My granddaughter was five when her daddy passed away. It is so very sad but luckily children are resilient.
She is twelve now and he is always mentioned at family functions which makes her very happy. She says he lives on a cloud and he sees her always.
All the best.
You both need to sit down with your child. She is both of yours and you are not the sole parent yet. She needs both of you as long as she has able. You both need that heart to heart together
I’m so sorry your little girl is going to lose her dad I lost my dad when I was ten and I didn’t find out how sick he was until three days before he dad I also was the one to find him dead to I was only ten years old at the time now that I’m older I understand why they waited to tell me but I still wished they had told me sooner so I would have had more hugs and cuddles from him I think you should let him tell her and let them have that cry together but be there when she needs you cuz she is definitely going to need you to hold her while she cries give her this time to spend with her dad to say good bye have her spend as time with him as possible so she can say goodbye also ask your self this if you were your daughter how would you want to find out your dad was dying and go from there
Could be two weeks, could be sooner, I think he needs to talk to her. It’ll help give closure to know what’s going on and be able to say goodbye.
Together it will be hard but you need to be honest with her
I think you should tell her. It’s gonna be so hard on both of them, and he’s already going through enough emotions. I’m so sorry your family is having to go through this.
You need to be there with your child regardless of who tells her. It’ll probably be best if you told her, then if she whats to ask him anything yall. can deside how to do it. Good luck & God bless.
I wouldn’t be able to get it out i time befor I broke down in to tears … maybe be in there with the father and daughter if he can’t say it then you might have to
All 3 of you should be there when you tell her
The three of you sit down and talk about this pending death of her dad and do it soon.
Really depends on daughter’s age I guess…I’m sorry sweetie…I know this a very difficult situation, but mama trust your instincts, but with what dad is dealing with, he may not have the courage to tell her…he may need you to be there to help tell her… Prayers to you and your family
I’m sad for all of you. How about all 3 of you say goodby. She needs that closre. He,s afraid to make her sad and probably is worried about him losing control. She needs to hear his words. He needs you to give him strengrh. She will need you when he,s gone. You will need them as well. Take a deep breath. May God bless you and bring peace to all of you.
Your daughter should be told that the time is near although no specific time period. She needs closure with her father. He should tell her but if he can’t you should do it together. My father passed when I was 10 he had been sick and needed surgery. We saw him the day before but did not know the severity of it. I came home from school the next day and all the adults seemed strange I knew something was not right. I felt deceived I wish I could of said goodbye. Children sence and know even if not told.
It is best to be honest but maybe not totally specific. If still hurts some 55 years later. On the same thought my mother had already passed 4 years prior (6 yr old) and did not know her severity either but probably would not of understood her illness. My point is talk to your child at a level they will understand, answer their questions, give them closure. but don’t sugar coat be honest and don’t be so specific as to frighten. Age appropriate answer but honest ones because they will remember. I do to this day.