Find out for sure. She can come up at anytime and ask for child support.
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What if the shoe was on the other foot? What would you want her to do? I personally wouldn’t want to be with a man that didn’t take care of his kids. As the potential father he should be initiating the DNA test. It’s not your call but if you teuly love him then support him. If he leaves you if they’re his kids then he didnt love you to begin with. If he lo es you finding out they’re his won’t change yalls relationship. Regardless, take care of you and your child. But i think either way he needs to know if he has 2 more kids.
Maybe she doesn’t want him in the kids life for a reason unknown to you, so why are you letting it take up time in your head? Why are you trying to make something out of something that doesn’t even concern you? Believe it or not a lot of kids grow up without their biological father and go on to become very successful people.
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Obviously he stopped seeing her to be with you. He chose you. Does he want to know if the twins are his? If so, he should look into dna testing. It shouldnt make a difference to your relationship with him.
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Every child deserves to know who their parents are
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He needs to find out if they are his. If they are, he needs to step up.
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He should know. If you think you will lose him if they are his, then you don’t need him anyway. Do they look like your daughter at all?
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He needs to know if his so later she doesn’t come back for support. If his make arrangements through Court for child support and visitation. If you love each other it will work out
I’d be more concerned that he was sleeping with someone else while you were sleeping with him.
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If there his kids he needs to take responsibility especially if he knocked u up at the same time either way he has a responsibility to take on
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Its the parents choice
Honey, stop letting this issue live in your head rent free. It’s up to him if he wants to pursue DNA testing. You do have a daughter that has a right to know her half siblings if that’s what they are, but if the mom doesn’t want to, you can’t force her either. My husband of 25 years made a baby with a woman before we got together. He didn’t find out until our first son was almost 2. He asked if there was anything she needed him to do and she said no. Her husband at the time was raising her as his own (even though he knew he wasn’t the dad) and the little girl only knew HIM as her daddy. The mom didn’t want to confuse her and we really couldn’t afford child support if she needed it. Everyone agreed to leave things as they were. It’s been 21 years. My oldest son has met his sister and even told her the truth. She kind of always knew. She was very happy with the man that raised her as his own and has decided not to reach out to my husband. All through the years, I kept up with her. Through MySpace then Facebook. Just to make sure she was doing ok. She had a very happy childhood and was raised with love. That’s all you could ever want for children.
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You stayed this long now want to leave? 
If the mom has decided not to be in your and your SO/husband’s life then leave it alone. Your SO/husband should have thought before sleeping with two women at the same time. Shame on him but that doesn’t give you two the right to tread on her decision. Take care of you and yours. Be careful of a man who sleeps with multiple women especially if he already was your baby daddy.
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Keep the drama off facebook
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First of all this is irresponsibly all the way around. If you are with this man and knew from the beginning that he was sleeping with you and someone else and you didn’t care then, you really cant have a problem with it now. If you love him, you love him. Having children doesnt instantly change that. As for the question of if they are his children? If he chooses to pursue it you need to be supportive. If he chooses not to, you need to be supportive and shut your mouth. This is ultimately his choice. But before that, it is the mothers choice. It doesnt have much to do with you. Especially if you aren’t married.
What is up with this stupid stuff???
I thought this page is titled my husband is a blessing?
What the hell is up with all these folks?
If your nor married or engaged why bring your negativity here.
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I think the most disturbing thing is that you’re questioning the woman and worrying about the woman and not questioning your partner whatsoever. If my husband thought there was a baby out there that was his he would be going after custody trying to find a DNA test and trying to find out what was going on. Your man doesn’t care to or want to cause it’s easier for him. Thats the kind of ‘father’ your man is. It kind of seems like your man doesn’t give a crap about women and used both of you and now he’s just avoiding the concept that he made them and might have children out there? And now you’re going to bring up the idea of a DNA test because you’re so bothered by the concept that he was sleeping around and you’re angry about it that you just want to know for sure? And then you say the relationship will end if it is his? But you knew about the babies from the beginning and continue to have a relationship with him anyway? None of this makes sense. Put the responsibility on your partner for not being the father that he’s supposed to be and put the responsibility on your own shoulders for allowing him to slack off because you didn’t want to know the truth because you can’t handle it. Seems to me like her not wanting to have anything to do with him was probably the smartest thing and you should have followed suit
“He was talking to another female at the same time he was talking to me” ? You sound under 23 and still maturing. You said yourself, you were talking and obviously it wasnt too serious to him if he was talking to someone else. Her babies are 9 months old and you just found out you’re pregnant. So it was irrelevant to you until you got pregnant? You were just happy you got the man, right? He didnt continue to talk to her or cheat on you after you guys established a commitment to each other. You need to step back with this and have him pursue a DNA test. No need to be nasty about it, no need to harass her, its between him and her and then you if its positive. She just said dont worry about it because she was probably scared herself, hurt, knew she wasnt serious with him, hoped someone else would step in.
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I think your relationship with him and him having other kids are two very separate issues. You knew he was seeing someone else but yet you stayed. And he stayed with you. That should say something! Now as far as the twins go, I would push him to find out if they are his. And if they are, he should absolutely be a part of their lives. But that doesn’t mean he can’t be in yours as well! It’s a complicated situation for sure, but it’s not an impossible one.
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I found out I was pregnant December of 2018, my child’s father and I had just broke up and he was already talking to someone else . We got back together for only a few days before finding out she was pregnant. Our babies are 6 weeks apart. It DOES effect your life greatly, it’s not a separate issue!! A DNA test is a must (still in the process of getting one). He chose me and paisley and we live 6 hours away from the kid and still catch unnecessary drama. It effects our relationship often and yes sometimes I want to leave. But what relationship he choses to have with that child is his choice. The babies FaceTime and we go visit him when we can. It’s HARD to keep the peace between him and her but know that a dna test is admitting responsibility for those children, child support ain’t cheep so if they are his I suggest buying things through Walmart and having her pick it up once a week or twice a month that’s cheaper than paying child support and makes life easier on everyone. Good luck in your situation, it’s a tough one and until someone gets put in that situation they really don’t know what the “right” thing to do is.
He needs a dna test done asap. The twins could be his children and they have every right to there father as your child does. As does your child to the twins if they are siblings. If it effects your relationship then it happens but you both need to do the right for all the children involved. Good luck
I would think it would be better to have the DNA test done now. That will eat away at both of y’all until you get it done.
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That issue should be handled by him, if he wants. If they already had a conversation about it and they came to an agreement, it’s on them. Now if he wants to be part of their lives, he needs to go to court to ask for DNA. You never know, maybe the mother of the twins doesn’t know who’s the dad…it happens🤷
I say have him reach out if he wants to know. The decision is his. Be clear about the consequences of his actions and all the possible outcomes with all decisions because he will have to live with them. I say that it’s not really any of your choice in the matter with the exception of how you choose to pursue your relationship with him based on his decisions. Usually everything does come out in time.
Why would your relationship be over? You knew he was seeing her, but he ended up choosing you. You both knew she was pregnant and you didn’t leave him then. Also he is in no way trying to be with lady just wants to know if those are his kids! You sound selfish and inconsiderate. He should def get the DNA test and if those are his kids I hope he steps up. It isn’t the kids fault!
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You’d leave him because he has kids with someone else even though you knew he was seeing her back then? That’s unfair. His kids should come before everything. You have a kid with him too, so tread lightly.
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Get a court ordered paternity test done… Find out if he is the father to those babies. If he is he needs to step up and do right. If he’s not then y’all can skip away.
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He’s a man. If those are his kids they are his responsibility. No offense but that’s more important than yours and his relationship. He needs to know.
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I would have to know for sure.
i would encourage him to reach out. it’s not fair that if they are his kids, the children are being punished in this situations. The kiddos might be young now but just wait until they start asking who their dad is. The Dna test needs to be taken.
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Don’t know why you are worrying. It’s not your issue. Your responsibility is your child. Let your man handle that♥️ I wouldn’t say another word about her or paternity
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Don’t let this hang over your head forever, figure it out now and deal with it.
It’s not your battle to be fighting. He should be the man and be the one getting a paternity test done. It has nothing to do with you.
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I say get a DNA figure it out I’ll tell you who’s not to blame! The children and regardless of what there the ones who carry the brunt of the sexual deception between adults. Sow your wild oats post children or know when to pull out of a failing marriage.
If she doesn’t want a paternity test done and wants to be left alone you will be hard pressed to get a paternity test done. A father has no rights typically unless added to the birth certificate or married.
Leave his pathetic ass no matter what! And dont worry about it that’s his problem he needs to step up on his own. U just worry about u and yours …dont let his bullshit consume u when it’s not your problem…u didn’t do anything wrong
Get the test done now before you invest anymore into it
He chose you. You both knew she was pregnant. Need to get a DNA test done would be unfair to leave him though because you knew beforehand. But if they are his he needs to step up.
Defo persue it as when kids older this mother will blame him no doubt. Least if cleared up now better for everyone x