My eight-year-old daughter has been getting extra help in school. She has problems with her handwriting. Her teacher has been great at helping her and keeping me updated on her progress. We have had a lot of meetings with her. I thought everything was going well then I got an email this morning from her teacher that she is not completing all her homework assignments, she’s getting more disorganized with her work, and she refuses to let the teacher and the teacher aide help her. I’m shocked to hear this because I ask her every night if she has homework, and she usually does, and I sit there and help her if she needs it. My husband and I are not sure what we should do? Any suggestions would be great if someone was in this situation with their child before. Thank you.
Look over it dont only ask…shes 8 not 13 or 14…my 8 yr has to have his planner signed thats says we knew whT homework he had and he did it all
I am kinda thinking this is your fault also. You should be over seeing her homework
Are you simply asking and taking it at face value or are you actually checking ALL of her homework. Are you also reminding her to put it in her bookbag.
Sometimes they just like to try to do it them self but always let them know u can help
Definitely a signed agenda. We did have a teacher that said she didn’t have time. Our daughter was that age when she was diagnosed ADD and so we had it added to IEP plan. It did help to check every night and ask the teacher at conference what the weekly homework is. Like spelling words are usually Mondays and tests on Thursdays etc…
My daughter is 8 and even if I ask her if she has homework I check. Check her backpack everyday and sit with her while she does it.
You put, in writing, a “request for an educational evaluation”. Use that wording. And the school will have so many days to respond, do the testing, and see if your child qualifies for accommodations.
This will help determine difficulties if any, and how they affect her learning, and if you need addition education supports.
Please do this. She’ll need supports or she won’t, but this is how you will know and be the best mom you can be
Im sorry…shes 8. Your the parent. Open her bookbag, make her sit, assist when needed, check when its done 
Yeah shes 8. Asking and helping sometimes isnt enough. Physically check her work and make sure it’s done and in her bookbag
Go over her homework every day and ask her why she is refusing help, other kids may be picking on her and she is upset and embarrassed so she is refusing to get help.
Have the teacher e- mail you the homework assignments.
Signed planner. She writes what her homework is, teacher signs that she has everything she needs then you sign once all is finished and back in her backpack.
I was the same way when I was younger. It didn’t matter if I had it written down or not I would truly forget to do it or turn it in. It really was out of sight out of mind for me and I still struggle with that. Just keep asking her nicely if she got her homework done and turned in. She may grow out of it or she may need help in the future. You got this! It may be frustrating but take it from me when my parents would start yelling I would shut down and it would get worse. Keep your head up!
Always check over everything. If she says shes done…look at it and make sure its completed. If theres a teacher/parent portal, see if the teacher can add ALL homework to that portal so u can see exactly what the homework is each night. Utilize that planner too…she should be writing in it every single day and both you and the teacher should sign off in it. I know its frustrating…but just keep asking and helping her remember. Make sure her stuff is properly packed in her backpack each night too…teach her how to organize that works for HER…ask her what she thinks could help her remember.
You don’t check her backpack??? You’re half the cause! Shes 8. If you’re actually doing her homework with her ask her why shes not handing it in…
My 8yr old combo adhd anxiety sensory boy! I nvr ask if have homework we do it together as hes only 8. Every single nite we do it and sometimes dont turn in.ive spoken to teacher. Ik frustrating. Have u asked her why shes not turning in? My son looses electronic time when hes non complaint.we now have a 504 he didnt qualify for iep. She may be embarrassed or anxious…
You mentioned hand writing and also she is very disorganised. Have her tested for dyspraxia by an ot
I would definitely have her tested to make sure she doesn’t have any learning disabilities. If she does they will have other resources available to her. If she doesn’t have any issues it’s time to start taking away things that she likes until she gets back on the right track.
She’s 8, even if she says she doesn’t need help with their homework you should still overlook it to make sure she’s completing it the proper way.
Do you check her work?
Do you make sure it’s 100 percent done?
Maybe dyslexic, have her checked
OMG, someone farted and it stinks…advice?
I did that while in school. I done my homework I would just leave it in my locker. They sent me to Saturday detention which also happened to be my birthday. Which my mom and the teacher had talked about it and decided that was best. Then when I got home I was grounded for a long time. I still had my Birthday with my parents but my mom cancelled my friends coming over.
I have a 10 year old step son that does this. It’s frustrating! He has social anxiety and depression. I check his backpack daily. He hates it but I simply tell him that when I don’t get a note from his teacher for 3 weeks he has no privacy when it comes to school. I get on the school’s homework board. Does your school have a website where you can see what the homework is? If not call her teacher and ask for a list of homework be put in her bag. If she “ forgets” the list call her teacher. A few times where she can’t do or go anywhere else until homework is completed might make her think twice. If school is not willing to test her talk to her doctor. Start small and tell her if you can turn in work for two days to a week on the weekend we will go get your favorite snack. Or we can save it for next week and do a bigger prize. My stepson normally saves it for a month to earn a dinner out anywhere he wants. Rewarding the behavior you want goes a long way. If he wasn’t antisocial I would have a bunch of kids in my house a few times a month but he doesn’t have friends. Find a reward system that works. Of course if you get a report that something isn’t done reward week starts over.
I do through my kids bags everyday when they get home so o see for myself what they have to do. Maybe that might help u
My daughter is similar. She is ADD and Executive Processing Disorder. She does much better on computer. Get IEP for computer use and additional time to complete work.
I did that. I had a homework book where all the homework was written down, and the teacher had to sign off that what I had written down to do that night was correct and nothing was missing.
Doing her homework and turning in her homework are two totally different things. My daughter will do her homework and then leave it in her bedroom or backpack until its late, or will never actually get it turned in. I’ll find a months work of homework in her backpack at once (shes 13 now so I dont check as often in an effort to give her some more responsibility and trust) since your daughter is 8, keep track of what needs to be turned in and when, and remind her to turn it in when you are dropping her at the bus stop/school.
I would start by flat out asking her why she isnt turning in her homework. Maybe designate a folder to her homework that both yourself and the teacher have to sign off on when she brings it home/takes it back to be turned in? I know its extra work on the teachers behalf but it seems like she’s dedicated to helping.
Hopefully it’s not for the same reason my 8 year old step daughter does “I’m in second grade now so I shouldn’t have to work this hard. It’s hard so I don’t want to do it and I shouldn’t have to, I want to play” 
good luck mama
My son (now 12) would purposely leave his homework on the bus or toss it in the hallway before leaving school. We eventually found out through following him. Even after talking to him about it, he still continued so the teacher would message us daily what needed to be done and would even attach the homework sheets. All we had to do was print them out, but he could also just write down the answers on notebook paper and send a picture back of it (he would toss perfectly fine papers before going to school as well).
Sit with her until all homework is complete. I did this with my daughter’s till they got into middle school and I now do it with my son, who is only 6.
You have to find something that you can”ground” them from that will get them to care about turning their stuff in. My daughter (13) we just went through this. She just wouldn’t turn stuff in. Even if it was mostly finished and at least get something more than a 0 or all finished. What we had to do was she was supposed to have friends over tomorrow and we told her if the grade wasn’t up by today and all the homework turned in she couldn’t have the friends over. She got everything turned in and has been turning things in on time and got her grade up. So now told her that if I see another 0 no friends over. She does have a phone (I don’t really want her to have one but her dad got it and pays for it so I told her as Long as grades and chores are good she could have it) so she lost the phone till the grade came up and everything was turned in and we told her it would be gone again if she didn’t turn things in. So far it’s working hopefully it stays that way. So there’s a negative to it and a positive reward also. Don’t turn it on you get the phone gone and no friends over she turns it in she can have friends over and has a phone to talk to those friends.
I did a notebook. The teacher would sign that she got his homework and I would sign he did it.
If the teacher is worth their salt they will work with u to find a solution
Is your child any form of dyslexic, like dysgraphia? Messy hand-writing and lack of organizational skills.
My daughter has social anxiety, she had problems with home work an I was also confused because I knew she was doing the work. Turned out she didnt like walking up to turn it in. She hates to be the center of attention. She had a month of completed homework assignments in her back pack.
From my experience, it sounds like she is overwhelmed. My son did this, he is extremely smart and capable, but in the past shut and did this as well. Some of it is also self esteem based as well. I’ve had the counselor talk to him and we also did too. Once he was able to break down things always got better. It was so bad this year he was almost pulled out of honors and was going to have to go back to the classes he did last year. We worked through it and he is back on track. Classes are so hard and fast paced now days, a majority of children hit a wall and then a breaking point. It sounds like that is what is happening with her. I would also speak with her teacher to see if she maybe thinks she needs to be tested for anything. After speaking with doctors, counselors, and teachers, we think he may be high functioning Autistic. Which very well be the reason he shuts down when things aren’t easy for him. Her disorganization may be a sign of something as well, but then again she is only 8!
I also sat with my son and helped him with homework as well, he just flat wasn’t turning it in. Out of frustration, being overwhelmed, and losing confidence, he just gave up and set himself up for failure.
Going through this with our oldest currently. It was as simple as getting all the teachers to let me know on a daily basis what assignments he was responsible for. About a week of that and he was coming clean on his own about what he needed to do each night. He is severely ADD and also suffers from extreme anxiety and has a processing disorder. It’s hard girl. But you can do it. People take it for granted that their kid isn’t always on the teacher’s radar… We havent had that luxury yet!
Something I started doing with my child this year (13 and in junior high) is having her teachers initial her agenda where she writes her homework assignments. If it isn’t initialed there is a nightly consequence. It helps me as well as her stay on track.
One thing that would maybe work for you as it did for me, is having your daughter write down what is for homework and having the teacher sign off on it. You then check said list that the teacher has signed and when the homework is complete you sign the paper and send it back. This helped me with my 12 year old. Or daily emails from the teacher telling you what was assigned for homework. I’ve also gone as far as eliminating his currency (electronics) until the homework is done in full. Lying about homework resulted in a week with out electronics.
Check their homework before bed time. No fun or play time until it’s done.
You go through her back pack every day. If she lies, take tv, electrics away until she starts telling you the truth. It’s your responsibility just as much as hers to be sure her homework is done. Good luck!
Tough love. I ran into something similar to this with my daughter the past few weeks. She had 9 assignments missing in school. When I asked her what was going on she told me she was struggling and falling behind. I sat with her to figure out what she needed to do to make up these assignments and even got her on online tutoring. Long story short she still displayed the unwillingness to display participation in her school work and found it more important to be social and popular in school. So I made her take her iphone and smash it with the hammer and then go through her clothes and take out all the name brand clothes she loved to wear. I explained to her that until she can show responsibility and the willingness to care about her education I have no desire in allowing her to have nice things. I’m not saying with your particular situation that this is the exact answer for you because my daughter is 12 and in middle school, but I can tell you all 9 assignments have been made up and she has been participating. So maybe you can find a form of tough love that will work for your daughter.
I would deliver it myself to the teacher or start taking things away til she learns the responsibility of it.
Possibly have her teacher put her work in an envelope every day with the teacher’s signature and parents. I’m a tough love mom but sometimes you have to be.
Start by speaking to your daughter and ask if there are any issues as to why she isnt able to complete her homework. Maybe there are things she hasnt got the grasp of and may feel shy about asking for help, etc. School can be hard as there is pressure to do well on all subjects all the time, she may have just burned out!
Being strict is an option, but she may just feel you are nagging. Speak to her as a friend and have her tell you what (if there is) the problem is and try and work a solution that encourages her to finish her homework.
I’m wondering if she’s noticing that she gets more help from teachers and teachers aid then other students which could be bringing her confidence down and making her feel as tho there’s no point in doing it. Refusing help could also be because she’s trying to show them that she isn’t dumb. If she’s not going to do it after arguing and fighting and punishment. Let her face the consequences from school. Remind her that if she fails her current grade she’ll have to repeat it and watch all of her friends move up. She’ll realize when she sees her grades hopefully it’ll change.
I would get to the root of the issue. When I was younger, I too was told my handwriting sucked. They didn’t say suck but that is what I heard at that age. I tried my best and still I felt like everyone was picking on me because of it. Talk with her, and certainly don’t punish her for something like handwriting. Who knows she may be a doctor in the making.
She may be truly forgetting it. Has she seen a doctor recently? Sleep disorders can cause memory issues.
She also could be embarrassed from receiving extra help.
My kid did same thing once called out she improved
Mom caught sibling lying about homework and made new rule we all had to sit at the kitchen table and do homework for atleast 1 he every day if we didnt have homework she’d make us some. At which point no use in lying so we got stuff done
You and the teacher need to communicate. She needs to tell you want home work to expect that night and ask for those exact papers when your daughter gets home. If your daughter doesn’t produce the homework (has some kind of excuse like, I left it at school or acts like she doesn’t know what homework you are talking about) ground her from her favorite thing. Tell her she is not getting that thing back until she brings all the homework she hasn’t handed in home so that you can help her with it. She needs to understand that you and the teacher and HER are all a team that want what’s best for her. Homework and grades are important to keep up with or she will start falling behind and it’s hard to get caught up. If her focus and grades are suffering consider taking her in for therapy, she may have undiagnosed ADD, ADHD-C or ADHD-PI.
My child’s class has their own homework agendas. They write down their homework assignment inside if it with the date/day of the week. I had to request a system that requires the teacher to initial it to ensure my daughter wrote it down correctly.
Demand an IEP she might having learning issues going on.
Is she ever hearing positive comments?? Or, only negative ones?? She may be pulling away from ‘help’ if she’s constantly criticized! Teachers and aides aren’t always ‘nice’ people…
wouldnt be able to help here. Our schools stopped handing out homework this school year. My 8yr old never has any. Even my 6 and 7th grader never get sent home with any. Very rare if it happens.
Have you had your child evaluated through the school? They might have issues that need extra help.
Def get her tested for adhd.
Have a communication book with the teacher so you will know what her homework is.
I just found out that hypermobility can have a huge impact on handwriting
Maybe discuss this with GP
Talk to her maybe something is going on at school with the kids
I check and see if she had a learning disability to. There is a possibility she could have either ADHD or learning disability and maybe they can set up a way to help her with her schoolwork where she doesn’t feel overwhelmed because it sounds like what is happening as she’s getting too overwhelmed
Check her book bag everynight an say ok let’s get this homework done so she will think you know she has some
Look through her bag? Or ask the teacher if the can email you a daily list of homework