My ex and I got divorced but still live together...advice?

Single moms how are you doing it? My ex husband and I got divorced and have been living together for 2 months since the divorce was finalized but it’s been so horrible. I go to college full time and work weekends and if I kicked him out I’d have to work full time just to afford the bills on top of going to school full time and I don’t even know who or how I would find someone to watch my kids let alone pay for daycare. I feel like I have no options but me and my children are miserable. Any tips tricks things you did to make it through a similar situation.


Chic I did the same thing went through a divorce lived together for 3 months biggest mistake of my life I would never recommend it to anyone. Girl take him for child support he will also most likely have to carry insurance and help you pay daycare. So t start feeling miserable also it will take longer to get over . Get out it’s not healthy at all


I went to work full time and school full time. You can apply for state assistance for daycare but for me it was more important I take care of myself then to have my kids see me miserable. I got a small studio apt and saved money the best I could. My kids learned to work together and we just got through it. You don’t need him and if it means downsizing and asking for help then do it because this is not better. Good Luck


I would check into your state’s assistance programs, you might have childcare assistance available. I used my state’s program when my oldest was little so I could work as a single mom, I couldn’t have afforded it otherwise. Lean on family and friends, and I would strongly suggest looking for another living arrangement asap. That situation will destroy your mental health. I tried to do the same when I left my ex husband, ended up moving out of our home within 3 months, he made it absolutely miserable to do anything and my mental health took a serious hit for it.


My ex and I lived together for almost a year after we split. We had a child to care for and neither had a solid plan of how to move out. We needed to stay close to each other to alternate caring for our son. Rent prices in the area had tripled by the time we were split. So many other factors go on to play besides im using someone :roll_eyes: He has just as much right and responsibility to move out. We were mostly very amicable and things were fine. When I saw an opportunity for a solid roommate, I went for it. 6 years later we coparent well and I would even consider us friends. We’ve loaned each other money and getting extra or less time with our son is never even an argument. I don’t know the situation here but I don’t appreciate everyone assuming that women stay living with their ex because they are some kind of lazy mooch. That’s not always the case.


You can’t have it both ways. If you want to be a single mom then get a job and file for child support. Let that man go on about his business now as opposed to when you’re done using him.


How do you think other single moms do it? We don’t stay with our ex’s for financial stability we do what we gotta do, it’s time to move on and be independent. Thats gonna be horrible for the kids to grow up in such an unwelcoming environment


Lol your not a single mom hun,
Let the man move on and stop using him :disappointed:


Sounds like you still married


My ex husband and I were living together while we were divorced and I struggled and I hated him. We lived apart and I hated him and I struggled. He now lives with an amazing lady things are finally less hard but it’s less to do with him and more to do with us growing up and not being in the thick of it. College is out of the way and the kids are grown or at least growing-ish. I guess pick your hard. This too shall pass. Hugs momma. It’s not easy. :white_heart:

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Everyone saying “you’re not a single mom” where did she say she was?!!! She asked how you single mothers are doing it bc she can’t seem to start to begin to understand how she’s going to do it once living separate her now ex husband

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I’m living in that situation now. It’s hell.

If you want out of your situation then you have to make it where you can get out. Childcare isn’t easy to find, but it is out there. Working full time and going to school full time is hard, but thousands of people do it every day. Growth is painful, that’s why they call it growing pains.

Apply for child support/Tanf, Snap. Hit up local churches/ food banks. Relative for childcare? RVR has childcare assistance.

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Either stay and suck it up or get a full time job to raise your kids and when they are older go back to school. You could also do online school while they are sleeping at night.

Are you elegable for single parenting payments apart from child support ? Any family in the area that could help out ? Also if he is making decent money he can pay for daycare since it’s both of your child

Your building a psychological timebomb in your children and its going to explode when they’re young adults, childhood is not the time to have storm clouds in the house all the time, rearrange your life so you guys arent under the same roof

If you want to get away there’s a will there’s a way a lot of single moms out there that worked went to school provided for their home oh believe me it was not peaches and creams but if you’re not happy there’s always a way to get out kind of sounds like me you depend on him

I’m a single mom of 3 with a full time job a part time job and I go to school full time. 2 of my kids are in all star full travel cheer and we are at the gym 4 nights a week. If I can do it. So can you. Find a way and stop depending on that man.


There’s is not much options , just stay and keep living miserably or take actions instead of complaining .

Check in your areas for any assistance support you can have for your kids and you . Do you have any close family that can help you with the kids ?
I will take him to court for child support , find a full time job ( and finish my college online if that is an option or doing it part time )

Child support and alimony… look into how long u have to be married to get alimony.

Maybe you go put school on hold and get a job until your kids are old enough to do more on their own. Sounds like you want all the benefits of marriage without any of the actual work. You have an ex husband supporting you entirely for what? He won’t benefit from your future employment or earnings. Someone’s getting a raw deal and it isn’t you ma’am.


Y’all females are money hungry as hell alimony and child support you don’t have a child to have an income they are not a bank it’s pathetic that women look at their kids as money signs. 50/50 joint custody the father has just as much rights the be in the child’s life as the mother. Fathers don’t get enough time to bond with their kids only seeing them 4 days a month. What happened the all you women are independent and can take care of yourself. Nahh rather still use the man for money and leave them struggling to survive while you rack in all the money and live comfortably

Why did you get a divorce if neither one of you are moving on? You could have stayed married and been miserable. Now you’re divorce and still in the same spot.

Become responsible enough. You want what you want and have support for your children. Living together so he can parent while you follow your dreams. His taking on the responsibilities while you can play the8 single game.