Thatâs hard⌠itâs not fair that one child didnât even get a happy birthday text or call but another is getting taken out for his birthday. At the same time you also have court ordered papers saying he gets visitation. So, if you do deny him the time then he can take you back to court. Sounds like he wouldnât, but to be petty he might. I would tell them he can come pick them all up for this dinner, but he better include the other child as well & what he did is unacceptable. Either call and wish all your kids a happy birthday, or donât call at all. I hate when parents play favorites.
Why do you keep sending them to their fatherâs house when he is obviously not to be trusted? Iâm more concerned with their mom making them see a POS like him⌠if heâs going to have rights, he has to get them legally or else he has none! I would nevee sacrifice my kids well being so they can spend time with dadâŚ
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My ex favors one of our kids, what should I do? - Mamas Uncut
Take him for child support and put it in a savings account for the kids. I never once had to show up to court for it. However, my ex doesnât pay but I do occasionally get a little something here and there and it helps. Also, Iâd absolutely stop enabling him. Donât give him another penny. And donât push him to have a relationship with the kids. He doesnât deserve it. Protect your babies and their hearts. If he makes an effort on his scheduled days fine. But donât enable him, and be honest with the boys. Some people have awful priorities, and theyâll regret that later.
Stop allowing these people to be half assed parents. Stop it. If they show they donât want to be in their lives stop letting them come and go as they please. As motherâs itâs not our responsibility to make sure theyâre being good fathers. If they canât do it on their own, cut them off.
It sounds to me that the older one has it under control by calling his dad out for his neglect o the other. You are raising some honorable men there mom. Great job. They see what he is doing. Talk to them about it. If they donât want to go they will tell you. They see him and his abuse. Let them know that it is and they donât deserve it. Let them know you are proud of them. I am. God bless yâall.
My kids father is that way with our son. He treats our daughter like she doesnât exist. For a few years I would tell the kids what the random messages about seeing them and I just got tired of seeing the disappointment so I stopped. He used to text happy birthday to our son like clock work. Iâve never gotten a happy birthday for our daughter. I quit telling them he even messages about birthdays because every year my daughter would ask all day did dad text and then cry instantly when his message to our son came through on his day. I straight told him I did this and why and left the ball in his court. Sadly in my case he chose to just make a whole new family and forget about our kids but 𤡠maybe yours will man up
Go to court get child support set, it ainât for you, itâs for your kids, you donât have to let him see them, set the child support, then get him out of your lifeâŚ
When it comes to child support some states will garnish it from wages so they raise the support our like taxes and such then you get the support through the state, might be worth liking in to. As fear as making him a better parent you canât do that. All you can do is be there for your boys let then day what they want leer let them know it makes your feel bad, sad, angry how ever you feel about his neglect then reassure then that it is his loss he is missing our on terrific kids.
Will it sounds like before long your problem will be over. I would stop any communication with him if it did not involve his visitation. I would explain to the boys that you can not stop or correct his bad behavior towards them but you have enough love for the both of them to make up any lost. Good luck and God bless.
Split a happy meal⌠
Iâm sorry you go through this.
Just keep doing what you do and tell your boys they are loved by YOU, that you will always be there for them. My ex favored one of my daughters as well, thereâs nothing you can do. If you miraculously receive child support, start a savings account for each of your kids. Good luck. 
Sad how people can be but as a victim of divorce (my parents and myself) I very highly recommend not bad mouthing dad to the kids because they take it personally. Just ignore him, love them, and live your life to the fullest through your sons.
For the child support once itâs set isnât that it? If he pays it or not why would you have to go to court every 3 weeks? Iâm not sure what else you can do, talk to him about it if you think he will listen. Otherwise if his visitation is court ordered you have to let him have it if he communicates he wants it. I would make him put in all the effort to see them for his visitation. You could try going to court for supervised visitation but it doesnât sound like he seeâs them much anyway. You could just not respond to him at all and let him take you to court if he even will. But be careful in case you are going against the court order.
Stop 
allowing unsupervised visitations! If heâs going to act that way and put in zero effort than he does not deserve to just do whatever he wants and how he wants it regarding your boys. Set up supervised visitations and if he wants to see them and spend time with them he will come and make the effort! If not than itâs not really a loss since heâs barely seeing them or making a effort as it is! As far as the unfairness you need to be straight up with him and tell him that he needs to treat his children equally!
Stop listening to anyone here bout child support, you took him off for a reason and donât need to put him back on. Keep doing what youâre doing and just be there for your boys. The truth always comes out and itâll be no oneâs fault except dads
I would continue with child support. In my state I didnât go if I had to work. Iâd write a letter stating I had to work and could not go and I would take it to the child support office or mail it.
Keep evidences of above and when you go back to judge her lawyer to push that and do the visitation once a month or something. When the boys are 12 their words are more valid, weâll I know for changing name so Iâd hope with court too. He sounds scum
IGNORE HIM⌠donât reply to messages, or calls. Youâve detailed how inconsistent, completely neglectful & utterly clueless he is to the damage heâs causing his sons. SO⌠just step away. Your boys already have their own perception about the type of father he is, or rather isnât!
Out of sight out of mind , and that deems true for both sides.
Youâre a great Mama & youâre doing it all yourself!
Child support is seperate from visitation but judges do look at it in deciding a case. If heâs not paying court ordered child support it makes it more believable that heâs not visiting when ordered, treating 1 child differently etc.
1 thing my lawyer put in place I wasnât even aware of as a possibility was Facebook of all things. Itâs our form of communication. All calls went through fb as well when he was calling. That way he canât say he tried to communicate when he doesnât. The fool agreed to it! 
The gaslighting, attempts at financial abuse (telling me to buy unnecessary things like phones while Iâm struggling to support my kids with no help from him), calling me names, threatening me & even threatening that God will send me to hell is all kept on record. The fact that he stopped visiting is also recorded on there. This way if he ever takes me to court all I have to do is pull up the page heâs on. It takes the he said/she said from the equation.
I donât go to child support hearings. They decide on what they will whether Iâm there or not.
He only wants to see the kids every four to six months only for an hour do not push them on him they will see for themselves and turn away from him forget child support he will not pay it anyway youâre wasting your time let the kids find out for themselves what kind of fathers they have
As hard as it is, and frustrating as well, girl you just gotta let it ride, hold your kids tighter and let them know mama will always have them no matter what. If he doesnât make an effort thatâs on him, because the kids see the difference, and they make that decision themselves. Only thing I say is, for whatever reason donât belittle their father in front of them 
.
My ( father) favored my brother over all 5 of us girls ( all of us. Weâre his kids.) But anyway heâd come and give my little brother, Which was 4 yr s old at the time a 50.00 check and wish a happy birthday. Us girls got nothing, not EVEN a happy birthday ! How can a man do this to his childrenâŚhow? How?
Iâm sorry youâre not gonna want to hear this but YOU are to blame!!! YOU have allowed that man to be a âwhenever he wantsâ to dad!!! YOU did that!!! Next time he contacts you about your children tell him to take you to court if he wants to see them because your boys deserve consistency, and he hasnât shown that!!! You gotta stop letting him break your kids hearts!!! Protect them itâs literally your only job!!!
My ex never gave birthday or Christmas presents. He never saw them for their birthdays or any holidays. After he was fired from his job he refused at first to look for a job so he wouldnât have to pay child support. The judge ordered him to apply for jobs every week. Then he flat out ordered him to GET a job in 30 days. He took the kids to taco bell for dinner and had them share a taco. I tried never to bad mouth him. The kids figured out what he was like all on their own. Tgey are grown now. He quit all contact with them 10 years ago. It is sad. Just be the best parent you can be. You canât change someone else.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My ex favors one of our kids, what should I do? - Mamas Uncut
honestly id stop contact altogether. he doesnt help financially and is damaging their mental health by being so obvious in who he favours. from what you say regarding money it sounds like he has a drug or gambling problem to have that desire to take money so often especially that with the McDonalds. hes not really bringing anything into the boys life but upset and drama.
The problem is your letting him dictate when heâs having the kids. Letâs the kids make there own opinions about him and let them decide if they want to see him or not. Even though youâre there mum and you care for them and understand they are still young. They are old enough to understand if that person cares about them or not and know right from wrong and they can see he is doing them wrong.
Thatâs awful 
especially the splitting a Mcdonalds meal to keep money, definitely got some sort of a problem there. Thatâs just horrible, having your kids go hungry so he can pocket your change, disgusting. Of course the fact heâs blatantly favouring one child and both children can recognise that, even your eldest pointing it out. How could he not feel ashamed or bad about that? Iâm sorry youâre having to go through this, but it sounds like you are all better off because thatâs no father or father figure, not having the time of day for his own kids or bothering at all, I know itâs probably going to be hard but if your boys have picked up on it alreadyâŚtime to change things x
Ask your kids how they feel about their father. They are old enough to make their own choices, when he messages next ask them if they even want to see their father if itâs a no then donât reply. Itâs not your choice, heâs a shit dad and they know that. Maybe they donât know that not having contact with their dad is an option they have.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My ex favors one of our kids, what should I do? - Mamas Uncut
Start documenting how often he contacts them and how often he exercises his right to visit them. Do this for 6 months to a year if you havenât done so before. (Do not give your ex money to see your kids that he doesnât spend on them anyway) Then stop taking his calls and stop the visits. If he takes you to court over itâŚ.I assume he wonât hire attorney and pay the fees. But in case ,you have documentation he is hurting the kids. In the mean time you should put him on child support to prove he isnât financially supporting them. It will help your case so you can do what is best for the kids.
Heâs just a name on a birth certificate. Cut off his visitation because it seems to cost you money. Every time mentions that he wants to see the kids just tell him itâs not a good time. The constant disappointment he is to the kids is more hurtful than not seeing them at all
Be there for them and support them. Your doing right by not bashing him and as you said they are starting to notice. Maybe get them some counseling. My sons 15 and has made up his own opinion of his biological dad. Sometimes as a mom we get the hard job of holding our kids together. Luckily I was blessed and my husband came in our lives when my son was 3.
Thatâs the worst when there is favouritism, Iâd say piss off you canât be there for one and ignore the other. Change your number sounds like he Dosent deserve to be in your lives. Has to be some respect. You donât need his stress anymore
Child support is not based on what you feel or the inconvenience of going to court. It is his obligation to your kids together. If heâs favoring one, have that discussion with him. Recommend therapy for the younger one, because he will have to learn and heal from this sort of behavior. You should not have to force him to be a dad to his kids. Itâs more than meals, toys, etc - itâs actually being a part of their life and loving them.
I did this, when my sons were 16 and 13, dad convinced them to live with him 5 hours away. He wanted to split them up when we divorced,they were 5 and 3, I thought that is never going to happen. Well it did, my 13 year old could not deal with dadâs drinking and verbal abuse. He returned to me and my 16 year old stayed.
My advise is keep them away, have him knocked off, do anything to make him go away. It totally changed the direction, my boys were heading in life and since. 11 years and I still donât have proper contact with my eldest, thanks to an emotional controller.
I am literally in this same situation. My kids father favors the one he didnât want and acts like the one he did want doesnât exist and itâs been that way since theyâve been born. I cut him off my youngest because of the way he is with my oldest. Itâs sad it really is I get fed up with him in and out whenever the hell he wants for only one kid. Iâm sorry your going through this. I have no answers. I Want him out of our lifeâs completely but my oldest son loves him to much to do that to him but he is disappointed/ crying almost Everytime I pick him up. He doesnât even keep him for a whole 24 hours. Ever. I have no ideas for the men because they my opinion they will not change. Iâm sorry if ur willing to cut him out I would do that.
He only gets visitation once a week for 5 hours? Yeah not worth it. If he spends an hour with them every few monthsâŚthen its not parenting. He can spend an hour on FaceTime and accomplish the same thing. When he calls to see themâŚthe kids would be busy and wouldnât accommodate.
I understand the court thing and being a single mom working all the time. Itâs not worth the missed hours for no money
From experience from my childhood - do what your doing and continue not slagging their dad off to them because it really counts and be there for your children when heâs failed them for the many times he will. And one day when they no longer want a relationship with their dad⌠youâll know you did right 
That is just petty. He should not favor one child over the other, and you as a mother shouldnât tolerate it either. I would honestly just take him to court and request to have him sign his rightâs away and I know that sounds harsh but itâs the children that are paying for his neglect and I wouldnât tolerate that at all! If he canât see them on a regular basis and actually spend time with both of them then thatâs a big problem. He is not the role model your children need, and those kids are depending on you to do what is best for them even if itâs a hard decision but you need to put a stop to that asap! Your children come first and obviously he canât be there for them the way they need. So stop exposing your children to that toxic shit ( excuse my language) but honey you need to put your foot down and stand your ground and you shouldnât be giving him money especially when he is not supporting those babies! This is in your hands to deal with this and the last person you want to disappoint is those kids so step up and do what is right for those babies even though itâs going to be a long hard road. But you allowing that to happen will hurt them more.
See if your state has support enforcement services. You send your court order to them and they do the rest. If he doesnt pay they will file in court for you. They will also take his money for you so he cannot not pay. He owes it to the children he made to help support them financially, if nothing else.
He sounds like he needs to grow the fuck up. And it also sounds like he has a drug or gambling problem from the way he handles money.
Girl go back to court, and get child support and let him fuck off on that and they will throw his ass in jail. You and your boys deserve better. I would also change your number so he doesnât call you anymore
If you dont have a favorite youâre lying to yourself lol
I feel like the situation can be very complicated if you donât know all the facts. My mother was like that when I was growing up and my dad struggled on if he should continue to let me have a relationship with her which he did because sheâs my mother and she helped create me. I know some parents can be very shitty I say that from personal experience but at the end of the day when my dad did try and keep me from having a relationship with my mom all I did was build up resentment towards him. Children are resilient and they Will see whatâs going on around them theyâre not as dumb as most people think they will get their own opinion of their father and I think itâs best for them to decide whether or not to continue that relationship. If thereâs no court order in effect then you technically donât have to give visitation but just keep in mind that thereâs a possibility later on of resentment for holding out on that relationship. I feel like my dad made the best decision by allowing me to see what was going on and then to make my own decision whether I wanted to continue the relationship or not with my mother. Currently I have a long distance relationship with my mother and my father is deceased I know this is a challenging subject to weigh your odds on even if they are shitty parents kids need both
Child support is for your kids not you, itâs up to you to make sure they get it, if you dont need it to live day by day then put it away in a a college fund. They will thank you one day for watching out for them.
I definitely wouldnât allow him to see the kids until he can help contribute financially and treat them both equal. Maybe try sitting down and having a talk with your boys. See how they feel about going to spend time with them. Let them decide if they want a relationship with him or not. If they do then he needs to step it up.
Sorry but if he ainât making effort I wouldnât even want him around at all, and it sounds like the boys might end up thinking the same way.
Theyâd probably be happier without him anyway, he sounds vileâŚ
If he doesnât ask to spend time with them then that says it allâŚ
Document everything! Take him back to court for child support even if he doesnât pay, at least you have the proof. And since heâs not paying child support, he doesnât have the right to see his kids. And put your foot down about treating the boys equally!
You keep saying our son & my son? Whatâs up with that? I think that you should talk to the kids & your ex. Let it be known that your doing your best to keep the family visits happening. Let your ex take on the responsibility of doing good or bad. Youâll gain respect from your kids for having their best interest at heart. Donât give him any money, feed them before they go & give them each a few bucks to take with them. Hopefully it will be great for your boys. Youâre not responsible for your ex & once he learns your upfront & concerned only for you & your boys relationship, things will become easier. Bad mouthing & blocking only hurts your boys. Good luck!
You say the kids both notice the broken promises and favoritism? Ask you boys what THEY wantâŚafter all is said and done, itâs about THEIR relationship with him. They will figure it all out eventually. I think your part is to help ease the pain and you canât effectively do they without talking about it. Bring this out into the open and see what the boys have to say about itâŚIâm willing to bet theyâre both much more aware than you think! Good luck
Girl, just cut him off. Heâs not helping you financially nor is he consistent in seeing his kids. If he wants to be involved⌠let him take you to court. Until then⌠enjoy your peace. But if you continue to deal with him⌠thatâs all on you.
Document everything. Also can you not take him to maintenance enforcement for child support? They will garnish his wages and can even take his license if he doesnât pay.
Let him rack up the child support or maybe see if he will just give up all rights cause he doesnât seem to care
Heâs damaging both the boys, not just the one being ignored/not favoured. Child support is way down the priority list after your kids wellbeing and psychological health. These formative years are precious, he shouldnât be in them with all his behavioural issues. The courts are not as difficult as you think, you can do it hun. All the best!
Not to go off subject but my sons names are david and ian⌠perfect names 
but I feel you girl. I have same issue of one being favorites and the other not as much. Different situation but if he hardly sees them then I agree with everyone here. Let that child support rack up and he will have to pay her heâll lose his license. Take him back to court and let them know everything. Donât put your kids through that if theyâre not happy do whatâs best for you guys. Make sure you document everything and anything that goes on with the dad that you know about including what time and what day. Anything that happens with kids etc. It will definitely help you
Sounds like heâs on drugs or an alcoholic to be honest.
I know it hurts not being able to change someone especially when itâs involving the kids.
One of the biggest things I learned is that itâs easier to just let them(the kids) eventually grow to see who there dad truly is and see that heâs clearly not a good father than to have them resent you and think youâre keeping them from seeing him or think itâs your fault he doesnât see them.
Just let it go especially if he only sees them once a week.
This is coming from someone with 2 kids and different dads.
Also from someone who grew up with divorced parents and having one parent try so hard to âprotect meâ by keeping me from the other one, I grew up hating and resenting them more than the absent parent. I still donât have a relationship with that parent because I still think itâs wrong that they chose to not let me see my other parent.
I would still take him to court for child support. Eventually they can garnish his wages or he can go to jail. Itâs all adds up
I would find a lawyer, talk to them and see what you can do ,I would keep cs going itâll add upâŚnot sure where you are or how it works but with cs here if you get behind ,there is no going to court every month(only if the payee canât keep up or isnât making enough to pay then it gets reevaluated)just adds up in arrears license could get suspended and or it would be garnished from his wages from work⌠maybe talk to the father in a calm setting voice you and your childrenâs concerns to him , give him a chance to do better and if not go back to court , document all missed visits, what the kids are saying, etcâŚkeep any texts or emails from him if they are negative towards you or kids âŚits a sad situation kids should be loved equally but sometimes that just donât happenâŚkids will see the bigger picture when they get older just keep being there for them
Iâve only had to actually go to court maybe 3-6 times total in 17 yrs for child support one of the times to set everything up another to have all income proof (he did have his 
) and over the years Iâve had to appear every now and then for adjustments other than that child support office took care of it on my behalf. (Went through child support office)
My girls are 25&22. They have the same problem with their father. Oldest is the favorite, even at this age. Youngest to this very day gets nothing from her father. No text, calls, gifts, or any type of monetary support for college. I tried in beginning to not say anything about it, then tried to âfixâ it thinking I was helping, But in the end they grew up watching his antics and broken promises. My oldest has guilt for being his favorite, while youngest struggles with not being treated the same as her sibling. Itâs heartbreaking to watch, but they know itâs no ones fault except the fatherâs. I wasted years trying to make everything âevenâ with the girls just so he wouldnât look badâŚa mistake on my part. Donât defend him or his actions, definitely do not finance his time with them. Im betting once you quit financing, he quits wanting to see them at all.
Take the dbag back to court and get your money girl! Set up a private direct deposit so it doesnt go thru the court, and if he doesnt pay its on you to determine what you do with that, but many months of him not paying really gives you some leverage if you want to use it⌠What he is doing is wrong, and hes getting away with it.
Get full custody should be pretty simple with how ur kids feelings sound
I donât have an answer for you but I do know that the judge in your child support case wonât like it one bit that you cut things off. You can also be in contempt of court.
Off subject but how can you take someone off CS, Ive asked multiple times and they say they canât, TIA!
If he doesnât want to see the children regularly the courts canât force him. If youâre wanting money from him go through CMS. X
If your state offers AFDC or a child welfare check apply and get it instead⌠and sign over your court ordered support payments to the state then youll always will get a welfare check and if he dont pay on time or not at all the state will go after him and itll stop the expense over not getting child support. This is what i had to do cuz my ex played the b.s. game of the check was mailedâŚetc⌠visitation thats really up to your children. Im sure visitation was set⌠and yes keep track of when he shows up and for how long and when he dont⌠and talk to an atty about this after about 6 months on how to handle this. As far as favoring one child over the other ya cant do much about this but if both children are noticing this tell your atty. It may come to the age of your kids to be able to decide when they want to visit with their dad. Or even want to talk on the phone with themâŚagain you need to discuss all these things with your family atty⌠hope ive been able to help at least with the paying of child support issue. But never give their Dad money to take your kids out or buy them anything. And dont be buying Christmas presents and write on it from their Dad. They need to sèe when hes remembered or not⌠stop the illusions that their Dad is there for them when its been only you footing the entire billâŚ
One more court push. He can go back on CS with arrears Or he can give up his rights.
Ask your kids what they want. They are old enough to decide if they want to see their dad or not, unless the visitation is through a court and canât be helped.
Document everything, print out messages and take him to court to get full legal and physical custody with visitation under your discretion. And on days when their father texts you that he wants to see them tell him yall busy. Donât let him dictate you around. Youâre the one whoâs in charge. A parent canât just pop on and out when itâs convenient for them. So he either needs to grow up and be better or he needs to stay the hell away for good.
Playing favorites . SMH balls in your court
Itâll cause your youngest some serious issues in the long run Kids are smart .
I would try and get hes visitations withdrawn. He is mentally and emotionally wrecking those boys.
So you need to let him know if heâs going to treat his youngest son like bs stop seeing him and put him on child support⌠going back and forth isnât to much hard work⌠do it for your kids
File a motion with the court. The judge should enact consequences for his missed visitation violations. Keep track of all the time heâs missed. Write up a statement for the court so they know whatâs been going on. Tell them that itâs been a long time, and that you just want the neglect of your children to be over since heâs had ample time to correct the situation. Tell them it has negatively and permanently affected the mental health of your sons.
They can also take tax refund money from him if he owes back due child support up to a certain amount. Look into the options for your state specifically. They might dock his pay, but it really just depends on the newest laws regarding that in your state. Also, I donât think youâd need to go to court all that much honestly. But if heâs going to favor one child, canât feed them right when you gave them money for THEIR food, and not show up regularly then he doesnât deserve to come around at his convenience & neglect them. Thatâs not love. A parent that chooses to be absent will negatively impact them. Often enough, it can be better for that parent to stop coming around altogether. The court will act in their best interest.
And of course, you could still offer holiday time. Itâs a good time for visiting family you normally donât see, and wouldnât be as traumatic. You sound like a good person who probably still wants them to have a connection with their father. Iâd just make those calls in private though, that way your kids wonât overhear if he doesnât want to spend the time with them. At least if you offer you did the right thing by your sons even if your ex does not. Good luck!
Iâd honestly start asking the kids âyour dad wants to see you. Would you like to see him or stay home with me?â And theyâll decide
I would admend the court docs to start or refill all together for not visitation.
I my ex use only call on my oldest birthday and not are second child birthday I finally told him If canât remember her has 2 kids with me not to call
Take him to court for the child support. If he doesnât pay, fine, let it add up. The boys can go after him later for the back payments for their college education.
I went to court for years and never received a penny. My son is 21 with 2 jobs. Hasnât seen his dad since age 2.
Get rid of himâŚproblem solved I so dislike favoritism itâs a awful thing especially when it comes to kidsâŚ
Kinda in the same boat my ex favors my 13 year old but hates my 16 year old⌠interested in hearing some answers
âSorry you have the wrong number this is johnâ
He doesnât pay child support and he doesnât sound like a role model to your kids. I say unless he is ready to step up and be a man, he shouldnât have visitation rights to either child. Not to sound harsh, but you should have done this a long time ago. You are a parent now and should be doing everything in your ability to help them grow in a happy and healthy environment. Some boys never grow up to become men and fathers. Stop wasting your time on a deadbeat, selfish loser and start doing what is best for your kids.
It time to cut him out then. If he cant be a parent and dont feed them then shut him out
Ask your kids if they even want to go see him. They are old enough to decide on their own
You canât control other people you can only control yourself
ask the court for him to get his rights to them terminated
Honestly they would be better without him period!!! I stg idk how ppl live with themselves!!! You seem like you got this girl your all they need and F him dudes can be grimey ass dogs
I wouldnât be letting them visit. Sounds like he isnât a very good influence and who knows what situations he may put them in. Definitely go for child support, my ex is on child support, he never pays and I donât go to court every three weeks, donât know where you got that. As for the favoritism, refer back to the beginning of this.
Sounds like your being an enabler of bad behaviour to me.
and how do you legally let him off child support? I donât think any court would go for this⌠Even Iâd they sign off rights theyâre still financially responsible unless someone adopts them. Sometimes even then they still have to pay.
Just came here to say youâre not alone!
If he doesnât call, let it go. Donât give him money, donât do anything. Let him do everything and hope he doesnât cal. No dad is better than this kind of dad.
Its called a scapegoat
Take him to court and make him sign over his rights no more deadbeat dad
Take his income tax return have visitation set up so there is a counselor present if the boys say they donât want to see him then donât make them
Document and consult am attorney to change the custody agreement. If you have proof he has skipped visits for a while, go for it.
Why would you have kids with a âmanâ like this 
Sounds like an utter bell end,one day the kids will say they want nothing to do with him.