Does your family like this man?
Seems like this is an issue that you need to talk to your family about. I just feel thereās more to this story. 
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Sounds like heās being very underhanded and manipulative. Your family needs to realize that heās trying to get them on his side.
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If he hated visiting her family when they were together and is making it a point to visit them now then heās clearly trying to get under her skin.
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He has no business going to HER family itās called respect
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I would question why my own family would do this. She may have more problems then she knows, watch out for your own " FAMILY".
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My ex does this but it is all for money and I just turn the other way
No your not petty but it us time for a restraining order your family should be off limits and your family should have your backā¦ maybe itās my parinoid past but sounds like they are working together to take your kidsā¦ fight as hard as you can donāt say anything to either group that could cause you issues
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I would say grin and bear it for your daughters sake. Let it go and find happiness.
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My ex tried keeping in touch with my brothers and spouses for a number of years but that petered out. My now wifeās ex and the extended family are still part of the picture. My wife and I have 6 kids between us and 12 grandies. Oh by the way, we have been married now for 28 years. Her ex has put to bed his 3 failed marriages but he still has access to our grown up kids and grandies. I donāt have a problem with that.
Some shit mine would do too. Didnāt like them while we was marriedā¦ loves them now 
I think this female needs to grow up and acknowledge its not about what she wants or what she feels. He wanted to great memories for his children without toxic behavior. He gave that to them. I mean they would probably have a decent co-parenting relationship if she didnāt make things difficult she doesnāt sound like an easy going person.
If my dude and I split he would always be welcomed in my families home. Why? Heās my sonās father and my son will always be more important than anything else. I want my little man to have the best memories. My personal feelings towards his father shouldnāt be placed first UNLESS he was in danger or the new female wasnāt good for my child IE she didnāt care for him or his well being. Itās called being an adult.
Sounds like he is trying to get some reaction from you. He will try and use that against you. Play it cool for now. Donāt get drawn into any of his nonsense. I canāt imagine the girlfriend was too happy about the arrangement either.
Just focus on your life and keep communications to and about him civil and neutral.
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Manipulating your parents.
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I donāt know you, but , its not right that you took his children and moved away without telling him. You may not like him, but he is still the father of those children, and I am sure the courts would tell you that you just canāt "take " the children away without his consent. He has every right to se those kids ( unless you can prove he is abusive). If your own family doesnāt have an issue with it, maybe the problem lies within you. I think you need to go back to family court and have the judge tell you what you can and canāt do. If you keep taking his children without telling him, you will lose custody. Shows you canāt be trusted. Go ahead everyone, get mad at me, but fathers have rights too!
This is your familyās fault ,all they have to do is respect your wishes ands say no to his vivits
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Divorced is divorced!
This is so familiar. Youāre not being petty.
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Might be a little petty but also your family didnt tell you he visited either. So something is definitely going on.
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Sounds like your family is the problem
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Sounds like you should just worry about yourself and not what hes doingš¤·āāļø
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Gonna go with, thereās two sides to every story here. If you moved without letting the courts know thatās not going to look good. Also if your family is allowing him to still visit Iād say take that up with your family.
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Well they wouldnāt be spending time with them unless he wanted to.
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I would understand if you and your ex were on good terms. My ex and I are frequently around each otherās families. But my family stands by me and his family stands by him. They do it out of love for our child.
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Heās clearly doing it to get under your skin and looking for a reaction ā¦ tbh I wouldnāt be impressed as I would expect more loyalty from your own family ā¦ they can see your daughter when you have her ā¦ and if theyāre supporting his custody battle then that says a lot about their loyalty to you . Iāve learnt that a you just canāt play with a narcissist so donāt even try and enjoy your time with your daughter when you have her and just make sure youāre battling to keep her legally ā¦ best of luck xx
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I agree with youā¦Iād be pissed off too. Your not being petty! I think that is wrong what he is doing
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Nope and Iād tell my family outta respect for you and your daughterā¦not to even speak to him or his new gf! Ridiculous!!!
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He wouldnāt be butting into anywhere if he wasnāt being welcomed. Focus on your familyās motive for supporting him over you. If itās for legit reasons, do the hard work to correct your deficiencies. If it isnāt, then encourage them to correct theirs, or make some difficult decisions regarding your relationships.
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Itās a trap. If he is using them as character witnesses he will use the holidays as āproofā when he goes to court. You said he never liked visiting your family when married and your kids would have went with you on Christmas. Talk to your family also. Something is up
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Should have a talk with your family and ask wtf is going on.
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The spending time with your family and pulling them in is bs but he does have you in the custody part if you get a shitty judge though you uphold every other part of the current custody agreement the not telling him you where moving or getting his permission is a violation of the agreement I donāt know your state laws with it but by me in Wisconsin if your moving 100 miles from your original location somtimes even less it is a against the law. If itās in the same town you just need to let him know where you are living
Iād be more upset with my family than him as well. Its one thing to be friendly with him and another to hide things from you.
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I wouldnāt tolerate it, especially if heās making so many problems for you. And if Iām not mistaken, if he sited your family as witnesses, they have to agree to do it.
I understand you are upset but I would rather have my child be around my family on the holidays than with who knows who his friends may be and how they may act after a few beers it may be even worse if he spent it with her family and you may not know there background sometimes whatās best for our kids may not be whatās best for us but they are more important so we have to deal with it
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Iād be questioning my family not the ex. If my family picked an ex or me they can have him
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No ur not petty and he canāt use ur family as witnesses
I would be really upset. And I would honestly be upset with my family as well. If they know all this is going on with yāall and theyāre still allowing themselves in the middle of it, a conversation needs to be had with them. You canāt control a crazy ex. Especially one seemingly bent on revenge. But your family needs to respect your wishes and be in your corner.
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Your family should have your back tell them it aināt okay with you.to please donāt invite him in. Its being disrespectful to you
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Your not being petty
its your family that helps this.go on. I feel
your family should be more sensitive and more understanding to your feelings and what you want. AGAIN HEāS YOUR EX
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The judge isnāt just going to grant him full legal and physical just because you moved. As long as u are completing your half if the deal, donāt worry too much. He may be using them as character witnesses but un less you have done something that could be damaging in court, again, donāt worry about it. 99% of character witnesses pull out at the last second
X husbands are assholes, plain and simple. Deep breath hun and just focus on raising a healthy kid. Donāt play into drama. Let the lawyers handle the nastiness.
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I agree with most of these ladies. Your family should be helping you, not him. They definitely should have told you about his visiting them with your child. If he is a narcissist and is using them for court, he can just as easily ditch them after the new parenting plan is ordered. You should remind your family of that possibility considering he didnāt visit with them when you were married. Heās probably using them for the short term.
Go to church, get to know neighbors, find a new family to spend time with.
You need to talk to your family. I understand they want to see your daughter but in the courts eyes they could be creating problems for you without knowing it down the road. Hes def doing it to get under your skin to show your family and the court system hes a wonderful person/father
Nope my ex husband did this pissed me off!
Id be pissed off and cutting them off. Who does thatā¦
I would befriend his new girlfriends bestieā¦ see how she likes it
I donāt really understand why you are mad, Ok you broke up, Heās still your daughters father and therefore still apart of her family, Your family clearly recognise that and take the opportunities afforded to them by him to spend time her and with them, Just because you arenāt with him doesnāt mean everyone around you has to cut him out, They are adults and entitled to their own choices, And they are not obligated to fill you in as it is essentially none of your business what grown ass adults decide to do.
You do come of petty and jealous, Your family clearly have no issue with him, So itās seems as though there is more to the story than you care to share
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I hope that you family has spine and take stand by your not let you ex-husband in their life. But what about you daughter says about this situation. Maybe she is behind that whith his father?
Your family should not have allowed him to come
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Glad my family hates my ex.
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Where is your family head at. He should not come the their house. 50 50 should be every other week.no ex should not be there and her kids. Parents. Should. Be there for your childrenās. God needs to help them childrenās first
Prayers for your. Family. God bless. Amen
My ex has done the same exact shit to me. That isnāt petty at all. If itās going to be labeled anything it should be labeled messed up.
No not at all, but maybe family has some explaining to do?
Does your family want him to have custody why are they allowing this that makes no sense do they have a reason against you too be witness
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Heās just being involved with your family for his convenience to use against you at court. You said itā¦he hated visiting your family while married. So why the sudden change? Cmon, he obviously is painting the pretty picture. So if they question any of your family members they will have nothing but positive things to say about him especially bringing his wife and kids with him.
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dont play into it. start watching who you talk to an vent. ask your family what the deal is politley first before you get mad. get there side of the story. end of the day all is well everyones safe. if in doubt maybe seek your lawyers adviseā¦
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Id be livid!!! Contact your family asap and explain your feelings etcā¦
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Iād definitely be questioning my family. They can be there for the grandchild without having the exā¦
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My whole ass family would get cut off. Weāre dysfunctional af sometimes but weāre more loyal than that!
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Ew, this reminds me of my situation. My bf and his bm have not been together for like 8 yrs. Andā¦ the bm lives with his parents! And starts ALLLLOTTT of drama with all my bfs previous relationships including me. Its a very weird situation. I would def be mad at my familyā¦ he felt betrayedā¦ its one thing to want to see ur grandkids but a whole other to involve exes. Goodluckkkk
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Listing your family as witnesses??..Ummm thatās messed up Iād be upset about that and Iād also feel betrayed by my family if my family never told me my ex was coming to their home.
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Iāve been in a similar situationā¦itās weird i know
My parents told my ex that theyād help him get our son from me. (Mind you my ex had been in and out jail and in prison for drugs, theft, bad checks, etc and has ignored our son for over 15 years.)
They did this because we moved from NC to TX.
I would definitely have a chat with your family.
My ex did the same to me.
Oh am sorry for you. I had custody battles ugly stuff. Sounds like he is greasy slime he is using your family to get to you not cool. Now is there anything that you are doing say drinking or drugs? If not then I would go to mediation.
Your family are 2 faced.
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The WORST thing you can do to a narcissist is ignore himā¦ donāt look at himā¦ donāt speak to himā¦ take the high roadā¦ it will drive him nuts & you will be so proud of yourselfā¦ speak only to your familyā¦ lawyer & judgeā¦ just focus on your daughterā¦
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