So just a question maybe the Mommas help this Momma out I have a 16-month-old son I’m no longer with his dad due to issues, and that happened this past February and I just started talking to a male friend that we lost connection with a few years ago which he is talking seriously, but I don’t know how to handle my sons dad when he finds out since he is the “I’m in control” type and needs to know who I’m with and what I’m doing even tho we are not together anymore and I don’t tell him about me. So I guess how did your child’s other parent handle it when you brought someone new around and when should I introduce him and my son.
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First of all, your ex can F off. He cannot control anything in your life and you shouldn’t let him. Set boundaries. Don’t talk to him. Whatever you have to do. Second, no introductions of children and new men should happen until you are seriously involved with this new man. Several months at least. You don’t want men coming and going in your son’s life. And who cares what your ex has to say about who you’re talking to? Why are you letting him have any input?
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if he is crazy over protective to the point hes keeping other people away i would get a restraining order. that is most defiantly not okay.
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Do not let him control you
Yes have contact when it involves your child but other than that he has no need to know anything.
My ex flipped his shit when he found out I was with someone new
He didn’t want him around his son (I never introduced him to my kids for about 6 months anyway)
He tried to make my life hell reports to social services, false claims about my new partner, threats to me and anyone who stuck up for me.
This all ended in him not being aloud near me and his son for our safety
If the ex is very controlling just be caful
My x is the same
I guess thy don’t xcept the fact that we moved on
First thing is don’t communicate with him
Set boundaries
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Not everything needs court sheesh smh
Ignore him & do you. Tell him what concerns the child only! As far as new guy… nothing to tell until it’s a serious relationship. That’s when you introduce to baby & then let dad know Incase he wants to meet - in a public place.
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Remember he is a ex for a reason. Do not allow him to control you. Live your life. I would introduce my son only if I knew this was a serious relationship.
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You definitely want to be careful if he is still trying to maintain control of you eventhough you guys are no longer in a relationship. That is not healthy behavior. As far as introducing new relationships to children it is recommended to wait six months to a year. This is to insure the relationship is going to be long term
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X has no control on who you are with and also make sure it’s serious first my husband didn’t meet my kids until about 7-8 months of being together I made sure he was in it for the Long haul been together 4 years and had 2 kids together
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He is still crazy and I’ve been remarried for 7 years. It never goes away …I have a restraining order in full effect for life when the judge in our divorce saw him go after my attorney it was the nail in his coffin.
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Dont communicate with him. Set boundaries. You dont need to say anything about the new guy till its serious. Me and my ex would wait 6 months before we introduced our daughter to anyone we are talking to and we did meet the person first.
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I never discussed anything except the kids. If he asked questions about me I’d say mind your business once and if it continued the conversation ended instantly.
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An ex telling you what you can do? Lol
Never introduce, unless it’s a serious relationship.
Dont bring the new guy around your child until you’re 100% sure its serious. I hated that my ex would always introduce my son to all his new gfs.
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He doesn’t "need"to know, he WANTS to know. I wouldn’t tell him anything till it is serious
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I’d put a restraining order against him.
You keep your social life and everything that doesn’t have to do with your son to your self!
You take your free time and use it to go on dates. But dont introduce him to your child for 3-6 months. I wouldn’t move him in or move in with any guy the first year either.
Don’t even give him the opportunity to know the details of your personal life. The only thing that he should know anything about is the well being of your child together. If he gets physical file a restraining order and cut of communication until he learns where his place is.
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My ex didn’t care. He hasn’t even tried to contact our daughter since she was 3. She’s now 9.
My ex was like this even though he left me for another female. It’s none of his business who you talk to until you involve the kids and even then his opinion as little barring.i wouldn’t introduce to the kids until you are sure this is something serious so the kids don’t get confused and you’re sure you can trust this new person around your children.
Not his business anymore. What you do and who you’re with, none of it.
Out of respect and common courtesy… as the bio parents, you should meet who he is with before the child is introduced to them and vice versa. After that set your boundaries if he wants to still be “I’m in control” type. It’s perfectly acceptable and normal for both of you to move on and be happy in your life. Until the child is introduced then what you do in your free time is no one else’s business! Be happy! Live your life!
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Until it’s time to introduce this new person to your kid, you dont have to tell him anything. The more you tell him about you and your life, the more he will see himself as being on control. Tell him NOTHING. when it is time to introduce the child, send him a message that states the facts. Ie…
Tomorrow I’ll be introducing ( kid) to a man I’ve been spending time with for x amount of months. Give first name, rough age/occupation. Nothing else. He doesn’t need to know. Dont ask if it’s ok, dont let him bully you. Send the message and have done. He will likely send messages back. Try hard not to get sucked into an argument, as it’s a way of control for him. He wants a reaction out of you, and he will see any reaction as a win for him. X
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Dont bring him around until you know it is going somewhere.
My ex was the exact same way caused problems between my now fiancé. But the ex needs to realize your not together therefore what u do with your time is your business. What he does with his time is his. It took my ex almost a year to realize my fiancé isn’t going anywhere
Your personal social life is none of his business. Once it becomes serious (after 6 months or so) then I would say it’s okay to introduce him to your baby. And that is for your baby’s benefit, just because I know too many moms that meet someone, move to fast, introduce them to their babies and a couple months later, they break up and now that baby doesn’t have that person in their life anymore and it can really hurt them. As far as saying anything to your ex about him, that’s up to you, and he will get over it eventually. If he decides to get physical, get a protective order and stay away.
Don’t be introducing your son yet and when you decide too should be like a restaurant or play place not your home…that’s yours and your son’s safe place x
My husband wasnt around my son until we dated 6months.
I wouldnt let the new guy around until a few months
Tell him to mind his own business. Who you talk to is none of his concern, not is it if you decide to date. Don’t tell him or anyone anything of what you do. Make your social media all private and restricted to friends OR only me. He says he is"in control" but not of his logic or surrounding life. He is driving people away.