Oh hell no I would be pissed I would definitely say something to her and to your ex husband because what she is doing is NOT ok.
Say something she may not even realize how it sounds to you or to the child.
You are NOT over reacting - have a conversation with her personally w/o the kids. If that doesn’t work I would nicely say we will not be spending time with you until you can respect who are. We love you as you are and wouldn’t want to make you feel less of anything
There would be no more co parenting with that racist family for me
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This isnt body shaming. Its racism
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Your job as a parent is to protect your children. I am not sure why you are afraid to put your ex mil in her place. She needs to stop, otherwise you can’t allow your children around her. It’s very damaging to them. You also need to have a very stern talk with their dad. What he tells his children is also very unhealthy and damaging. Speak up!
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You need to speak up as soon as it happens and tell her it’s wrong and evil for her to delight in bullying children and you. Let her know I cant believe you let it hey this bad, you have to speak up tell her and your kids dad.
I don’t deal with the racism but my problem is the body shaming. My grandmother body shamed me my entire life and I’ve always been terrified of her. When my daughter was born my grandmother tried multiple times to comment on my daughter’s weight. Just for clarification I have always monitored my daughter’s weight. Her doctors say she is perfect size and always has been. Around when my daughter started walking she said something along the lines of my daughter being to big for her age and apparently babies are supposed to thin out when they learn to walk. She made the mistake of saying this in front of my husband (he knows I’m afraid of her and I didn’t want my daughter to have to live through that as well) he put her in her place. Now we barely see this grandmother but on the rare occasion we do she doesn’t say anything pertaining to my daughter’s weight.
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I’d loose it. These things will have a huge impression on your children and are uncalled for. Your ex-husband should be aware of this because it’s his responsibility too to stick up for them and defend them, he should also be doing the same for you where you are the mother of his children. If you don’t say anything it’s going to continue to happen. Racist remarks from their own family is unacceptable and I wouldn’t allow her around them if she can’t learn to be a nice person.
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Yeah definitely say something and tell her not to make comments about your body or skin or your kids body or skin. Honestly if I was you I would just cut her off completely she sounds toxic. I wouldn’t tolerate that kind of behavior around my children at all especially having a mixed son. No way. If someone told my kid I wish you were white I’d say that’s inappropriate and extremely out of line and cut them out of our lives completely. Racist scum.
I am white and my daughter is white & African & Arab.
She is a ‘dark’ in comparison to many duel heritage children …she’s gorgeous.
Her hair, her tanned skin, her eyes she’s just stunning.
She catches the sun sooo quickly! 
I had a family member who had always been nasty with me (my own blood!) from being a child, told me my hair was always ratty and like rats tails. (I am full white but my hair if not straightened or creamed and oiled looks very much like my daughters!) anyway I got older and after having my daughter I learned how to look after my own hair too and now it’s super curly and this Same family member was like is THAT a WIG and proceeds to yank my hair so I had it out with her and turns out she was ‘jealous’ of how thick and long my hair was with me being white, white people have in short really thin flat lifeless hair!
And honestly white people spend THOUSANDS trying to get a tan. And love it when they do but then are racist 
You’re not over reacting. We’re made to feel like we have to be the bigger person and rise above it. But in my opinion that’s just another way of saying shut up and take abuse.
No you’re not overreacting. Both my parents are white, but mutts I guess…. Theres Puerto Rican & AA one on each side…. I am the only one in my family that looks the way I do, & has hair like I do. I tan dark dark compared to them in the summer. And my family hated my hair so I had an Afro. They made fun of me for my hair too. I was 8….
we had just gotten back from 2wk Florida vacation… my grandpa & grandma had a porch full of ppl & saw me… first words out their mouth mawmaw- “Hey there Lacey! Good lord girl if you got any darker we’d only be able to see you at night by the whites of your eyes or your teeth!
Pawpaw-“lookin like a little ____ “ (offensive word for AA child)
I cried & cried bc I hated being different than them. Like I already realized I was different, but did they have to point it out at all, much less so cruelly?
Of course as I got older the weight of what they said hit me. It’s disgusting…. And it makes your child feel less than. And makes them I don’t wanna say hate, but dislike something about themselves. I don’t do it anymore, but for years I avoided going outside during the day… worked nights just to avoid it.
Edited to add- I realize this isn’t the exact same thing…. But I’d imagine any kid that age would feel this way.
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Speak up in front of your daughter the moment it happens. Speak up so your daughter can see what it’s like to stick up for herself. Imagine how you would want her to react to someone and react that way.
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You’re definitely not overreacting. Talk to her and tell her that it is hurtful when she makes remarks about your kids skin color. It is very inappropriate….it’s not like they can change the tone of their skin. She should love them just the way they are period
Girl say something!! Ur kids n u r the most perfect n beautiful. Ur skin color is perfect. Ur kids r perfect. Don’t let anybody whether they r family or not tell u or the kids any different.
Nope. Speak up for your children. Body shaming or shaming someone bc their skin is darker, is not okay. Family or not. She will either respect you or not, but standing up for your child is a must.
l Get paid over $ 145 per h0ur working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $19560 a m0nth doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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No more time with racist granny. She’s teaching these kids to hate themselves. Their dad should protect them but since he isn’t it’s gonna just be you.
You’re not overreacting at all. It’s completely uncalled for. I have two beautiful brown stepchildren (Phillipina) both girls and if someone made remarks like this I would not be a pleasant person to be around.
That’s undercover racism girl. You need to speak up and to hell with their feelings, it’s hard enough for mixed and dark children without their family adding to it. I feel for your daughter because to be saying “I want to be white” at that age is heartbreaking.
“If you get any darker, no more pool for you.” Kinda like back in the day when white and black people could not share a pool. I’m hurt for you. Sounds very racist to me. Those are her own blood and she can say something like that? Also the father saying your basically white. For real!! Omg those kids should not be near that side. My kids are quarter black and I let them know exactly what they are and how to love that about them.
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That is racism pain and simple. Please follow your gut and stand up for your kids! No black child should ever feel so ashamed to the point they wish they were white (they shouldn’t feel ashamed at all). That’s real psychological damage.
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React at the moment of insult so your daughter can see positive values
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That’s not ok to say, no matter if you’re black, white, pink, purple, or green with blue polka dots. What she’s said has clearly negatively affected not just you but also your child. Put a stop to it yourself, and immediately. I think this deserves two separate conversations. One with him, one with her. And maybe a third with both together as a follow up. As a father of a biracial kid, he should be in tune to the things she is saying and how they affect his children and their mental health, so he can step in when anyone crosses a line. The world is hard enough, without so called family causing damage to young children. If I were you, I’d fight this tooth and nail until they both understand the damage to your children’s self confidence and self esteem. It’s so hard to build back up once it’s lost. In a world where mental health isn’t taken seriously, parents need to be ever watchful in their own children. What happens at this young age affects the rest of their lives. She and he both need to understand that. Coming from family hurts even more than anyone else. Those wounds are deep.
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This make me quite angry. ALL kids/people are beautiful. Of course unless they’re murders or rapist. Insulting someone. No matter what age is just awful. I would just keep reminding my kids just how and loved they are. This is so wrong. You are not overreacting at all. Definitely speak up. Protect your kids from these horrible and hurtful words. These are things that are never forgotten. My heart goes out to you and your babies.
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Girl speak your mind cause if you don’t your kids will wonder why their mom never stood up to her
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I’m so sorry you are dealing with that. You are not over reacting. No one should be talking about anyone else’s appearance in any negative way but especially not a child’s appearance.
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l Get paid over $ 145 per h0ur working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $19500 a m0nth doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
More Inf0>>> https://SuccessFullyJob31.pages.dev
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No u speak up so your daughter hears those remarks are very very wrong, its NOT ok
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Speak your mind Momma! Don’t ever let ANYBODY make your children feel some type of way. No ma’am, ain’t having any of that nonsense
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No you’re not. Stand up to her for yourself and your child. Who gives a flip if it hurts feelings.
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Sounds like a ood lady stuck in her ways and needs a reality check in a nice way lol.
That’s racist AF stand your ground protect your children
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You should tell her excactly what you just said. You are suppose to be sensitive about your kids. I hope she puts sunscreen on them because being half white the sun exposure can cause premature aging. Our skin does not age as gracefully as POC. 
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You got to let her know how her comments are making you and the kids feel and you would appreciate it if she stopped …if it don’t stop than it time to get nasty back
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No barriers for sticking up for your kids
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my MIL never had anything nice to say about me nor my kids, I never paid any attention to her,
I am 23%native American, got told I was black, Mexican and evi you can think of in school, this was back in the late,60’s and 70’s, I had to stand up for myself (idk why my parents didn’t) , but I learned the hard way to stand up for myself,I wouldn’t want your kids to have to do that, you speak to your mother in law about it
Say something! F the feelings cause what she is doing is WRONG!
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So because you have no family nearby you’re allowing this woman to pour her toxics bs onto your children?
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Gurrl, for starters, let me tell you that women of colour have the purest skin. It’s pure jealousy, that’s for sure. If you only knew how intensely your ex MIL feels she could have a fraction of what your daughter has. You see, you both don’t have to struggle with your skin like the rest of them. It’s like you get in season during summer and jump right out of season at the turn of the season. Hold your head high mama, and tell your daughter that her skin is beautiful just as it is. Sending you hugs from Africa, the land of melanine skin
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I don’t think she means anything by it, sounds like she speaks before thinking. My issue is your ex saying that your children are basically white! That comment really rubbed me the wrong way!
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If she drove your babies without a car seat. You’d stop that. Same difference. She is doing serious damage to your daughters sense of self. Dangerous stuff. Shut it down. Tell the dad. If she won’t stop. Limit visits if you can
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Racist comments are NOT allowed !!! To anybody… ever. You need to make this very clear to her. Or does she NEVER want to see her grandkids ever again ???
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No you’re not over reacting. I have 2 great great granddaughts and they are biracial. And i would never say anything about there skin color. Im proud of who they are. And i would not ever belittle them. And i will take up for them if anyone said anything about their skin color or them being biracial. I love them with all my heart.
So you speak up for you children. Put your ex mother in law in her place. And dont you feel bad about it. Im so sorry your having to deal with the nasty comments.
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F there feelings not your kids are taking it to heart and it’s hurting them don’t be scared to tell her if she can’t complement them then keep her mouth shut or she will never see them again
If she wants a relationship with your kids tell her to grow up and stop being racist. If she does it again then get the kids and leave. Don’t put up with being disrespected
You mean she’s a racist? Keep that monster away from your children. When a 5yo is made uncomfortable over their grandparents comments, it’s time to snip the family tree
My youngest is biracial… she’s half zomi (Asian) and they have darker skin… but she’s a beautiful mix… her skin is gorgeous (yes, sometimes I jelly, until I remember I made her siblings and her and all their perfection… I may be a bit bias though)
Anyway, during the summer she gets dark… like super dark… like darker than all of her cousins… my mother has fixated on her being asian and has made comments about her skin color… like offensive, I won’t repeat even in safe spaces because it shouldn’t have ever been said in the first place… (keep in mind 2 of my sisters kids are half Mexican, another of my sisters kids are half African, my brothers daughter is half African, my cousins are Honduran and Puerto Rican… my mother KNOWS BETTER and doesn’t fixate on anyone else’s kids like this.)
I just pointed out that she should NEVER say that crap again or I may forget she birthed me…
It blew up for like 2 months, then she never made those comments again…
I don’t care who the person is… no one has a free pass to shame, embarass, be derogatory towards, etc. My children… I’m raising them to know their worth, use their voices, and to just be good humans…
Blood or not, I’ll go for the throat over my kiddos… 
I don’t feel you’re overreacting at all, I feel that exmil is pushing boundaries…
my mother feels that since most of my family is mixed, she can make offensive and racist comments because “the family is mixed, they’re her family, which means it’s not racist or offensive… her family is mixed so she’s allowed since it proves she’s not racist”
Just make it known… unfortunately these babies are gonna have enough of that crap from strangers… they don’t need it from their family…
Sorry for how my thought processes work, I know it’s long…
But I will die on this hill
I have interracial children too, most white people Dont see a problem with making comments like that because they didn’t grow up hurt by it. Only thing you can do is to tell dad and grandma that those comments aren’t okay to say to their family or anyone and try to get your kids to understand that people make comments like that sometimes without thinking, it’s nothing to get hurt about because those are their insecurities not theirs.
You are not over reacting! Defend your children! These “relatives” have no business body shaming or anything else! It’s cruel & causes insecurity, no self worth, lack of self esteem, etc!
Been there done that 
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Shame on your ex mil and she needs to keep her mouth shut !
I don’t mean to offend, in any way, but could she believe that what she is saying is harmless? I’m not saying it is harmless, it’s obviously not, but do you think that SHE thinks it’s harmless? You said that she has made comments before to you, you asked her to stop and she did. You said your ex-SIL told her to stop and she did. It sounds like she somewhat respects boundaries, so maybe set some. You don’t have to have animosity between you and your ex-in laws, you can address the issues calmly. Hopefully that will keep there from being unneeded and unwanted drama and stress. I would suggest two things though, before you speak to her.
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I would address it with your ex. If the two of you are on good terms, maybe he can talk to her and tell her to keep her comments to herself. The fact that the things she says upsets her granddaughter, his daughter, he should be willing to speak up. If he doesn’t, then speak up for yourself.
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Teach your daughter to speak up. It doesn’t matter that it’s her grandmother. Teach her that if someone is being disrespectful to her, that she had the right to speak up and speak out.
Sometimes older people just say what they want,without thinking, not caring whose feelings they hurt…other times they can’t understand what they said wrong.
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I would talk to her and explain this makes your daughter uncomfortable. Please don’t mention her skin tone again. Then let her know you knew it wasn’t intentional. Then go on as if nothing happened.
You are not over reacting shame her she won’t like it tell her these kids are her flesh n blood she should be ashamed for downing their looks
Tell her to get lost
Hell no woman you should def be offended and that would def make me wanna say something to her
Not okay! Whether she’s intending to be hurtful or not, it is harmful to say such thing to those kids. Educate her and if that doesn’t work tell her bluntly.
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No you have every right to protect your self and your children from hypocrisy
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She is very ignorant. She may not intend to be hurtful, but she is, regardless. You should be direct and tell her how it is wrong to say that to you and your kids.