I have a question for all the mommys who have gone through a separation or divorce, which ended in a custody battle. My soon to be Ex-husband claims I am an unfit mother and told me if he took me to court, no judge in their right mind would give me the kids. No, let me lay out some back story. This is the man who left us in May of this year and hasn’t had a job since March. I have worked fulltime jobs all year to provide for the children on my own with no help from him. In the last seven months, he left for Indiana and was stranded for three days I bought him an emergency plane ticket to get back for the girls. He then went back to popping pills and drinking like a fish and lying he got caught breaking into a friend’s house and wasn’t reported on it. A few weeks later, he got so messed up on drugs he went off the deep end and was in the hospital and went to rehab for the drinking. He spent three days there, and they released him. (This was also after he had almost complete kidney failure in may) Not even three days later, he attempted to kill himself I then had to go and find him and take him to the hospital where he admitted to the doctors he was on all kinds of drugs from meth to smoking weed. This was just a couple of months ago. Now he broke off out marriage saying all that was my fault not even two days after that he showed up to my house and Adderall and some other drug he took because his friend said here try this and tell me if it’s good. Now he is telling me he will take my kids away. I have been working 30 hours a week while 18 weeks pregnant to provide and care for my two other children. They have piles of toys, diapers, and good food. His mother’s house where he is staying is a death trap. He doesn’t have a job nor a car or driver’s license: no car seats, high chairs, sippy cups, or playpen for the little one. Now mind you, my two children are 3 1/2, which isn’t biology his he has been in her life since she was six months. Our daughter is 1 1/2 he claims he doesn’t need all those things because they are plenty old enough to sleep where ever and eat where ever.
Um yeah. No judge in their right mind will give HIM custody. I doubt he’ll even get supervised with doing drugs and stuff. You’re good
Yeah he’s crazy! They will not take your kids. Keep yourself and your babies safe.
Empty threats I say let him try
Most states is 50/50 now and if you tell your lawyer everything you posted here they can make it sound good on paper. Visitation may be changed. Technically…don’t worry.
If the children are well provided for, well looked after, no judge will separate children from their mother. He definitely won’t get custody. He has probably said that as a threat to hurt you xx
No judge will give him custody. If they drug test him he won’t even be allowed visitation
If there is documented evidence that he is on all of those drugs (which there should be if he told doctors and was admitted to the hospital/rehab), there’s no way a judge wouldn’t laugh him out of the court room. You’re good, honey. Just make sure you document everything/all interaction with him.
Document everything. He will.get supervised visits reguardless however just.be honest and.dont bash him in court just explain.nicely why hes unfit.
He has no chance, but you need to be documenting everything. Try to get any medical records of his you can.
Oh honey…he is just spitting words at you hoping something will stick to scare you…trust me although I dont believe it to be right, most judges will side with the mom, and in your case it’s a no brainer, so calm down it sounds like he knows that his ass may get no visitation if he is as down and out right now as you say.
Do u have proof of this?
Him going to rehab? Witnesses
U will need it in court
Hes all talk
U file 1st
Put the visitation time u want him to have. If supervised.
Ur relationship is over
U qont be able to civilize parenting time outside of court with this type of personality
He can just take him with him to another state… so file 1st do he abides by parenting schedule and doesnt violate it
File for child support as well
An addict and mentally ill person will say ANYTHING to try to bring those around them doing the right thing and living life the right way, Down because they know deep down that their life isn’t worth much when they aren’t willing to get help. Get a EPO and keep doing the right thing Mama! You’re doing great!
Don’t let him bully you!
Mental manipulators like this man (definitely not a father to your children) will say anything to you and use anything against you to gain or keep control of you. Stay Strong mama - be a advocate for your babies and take care of yourself…
Why are you even listening to someone who’s high? Common sense says he won’t even get visitation
He is just trying to manipulate you because he knows the truth! My ex did the same thing but instead of actually “taking him away”, he left and we have not seen him in 12 years…it was for the better!
Why are you even worried about it? Obviously he’s out of his mind
It comes down to proof. What you can actually show same with him. Technically he don’t have to have all the playpen ect because they are old enough to sleep in a bed and eat what everyone else eats. It’s all in who can provide a stable home.
Keep a notebook of everything! No judge will take your kids,and give to a father who clearly needs help.
What a loser he is why do you even talk to him why
Stop going back & forth with him and try to get a lawyer. If you can’t afford one call the courthouse and see if they have someone who can help you. Keep your head up.
They say that to scare you. The judges are not stupid. You got this mama❤️
He won’t get anywhere but understand he will still be given the chance. Abusers spend years using the system to deplete their victims financially and emotionally. The courts cannot stop him. And the battle can take years unless you have the money to hold a swift trial. Get an attorney immediately. This happened to me
No judge in their right mind is going to take those kids from you and place them with him
I’m not sure what you are worried about. You know you are a good mother. Him saying that is him hoping you won’t go through with taking custody because he knows he won’t get them. That’s all that is . Don’t stress it
Not sure he would even get unsupervised visitation. You got this. Try and relax, he is just trying to play head games with you…
You have nothing to worry about. My advice stay far away from this loser man.
Get a lawyer asap and get all the information in writing of what you posted. He is clearly unfit to be around them,especially the drugs and attempted suicide.
There is literally no way a judge would take them from you, a stable mom. He’s just trying to manipulate you and use scare tactics. Don’t sweat it!
Most judges are NOT going to let him have them with his past history. Only bring up documented issues. Keep a journal of everything he says and does. Record phone calls and video each time you see him. The kids will go to the parent that is more stable. With his past you can even get him to have supervised visits
I understand your fear but no judge in their right mind would let HIM have custody of your children
You got this mama 
he can’t take them from you. he has no proof of you being “unfit” and it’s hard to prove in court unless you have psych admissions and addiction treatment in your background, have abandoned the kids, or are not providing for them. That said, he obviously can’t take the one that isn’t bio, and can’t even try. Don’t worry about it, where would he get the thousands of dollars to even attempt to take you to court? It’s apparent he cannot. Just blowing smoke up your skirt
That’s what toxic men say to you to make you feel guilty and not do what you need to
My ex did that all the time, but when I didn’t let him get in my head anymore he realized he fucked up
And to this day is still the shit parent he’s always been
You have everything proving him unfit anyways, why are you worried? Just file a quick case say it needs to be expedited because you’re worried about the well-being of your family
I mean, that’s like the battle cry of every broke down ass baby daddy everywhere…
No judge would even give him visitation just keep records of voice mails text msgs and all the paperwork from the hospital
Narcissist. You need to just cut off contact unless it’s necessary. Don’t listen to him. He’s mostly just talking out his ass to hurt your feelings and scare you.
He cant take them away from you and the judge could rule he be drug tested before each visit with his children being supervised
I hope you’re able to prove this guy is harmful to your kids, get a lawyer right away and let the lawyer know you are the provider. Don’t enable that addict anymore, he shouldn’t be around the children. God be with you, I pray everything works out for you and your future is better than this.
Documentation! Girl, start a file of proof.
He has to have proof of you being unfit. Just with the stuff you listed besides the drugs/alcohol he’s not gonna get unsupervised visitation even.
Lol he can’t take your kids. He sounds like a train wreck. You go file for custody first and just go ahead and get it out of the way
No girl lol you wont lose them he doesn’t stand a chance
My ex is like that tried and failed the judge we had was pro dad and it showed but he never showed anyways… I have full custody going soon for everything
He is only trying to get in your head, dont listen to his bull shit!!
Sounds just like my ex… Who btw never showed up for the divorce hearing so i was awarded full custody he gets reasonable rights of visitation. He rarely sees them will call once in a blue moon. Or will text me how horrible i am and that he has lawyers working the case and papers have been filed and hes taking the girls… Its been 3 yrs with these empty threats. Our oldest is 10 amd wants nothing to do with him. Hes strung out on drugs cant believe anything they say. They are miserable in their life and trying to drag you down to
Why would you keep having kids with someone who is on meth lol
I’d tell him to f*** off, good luck affording court, good luck finding a lawyer who would even take his “case” and until he’s clean sober and able to provide for the children he can stay away!
I think he’s telling you some bull bc he knows you fall for his lies a lot. It seems to me you should’ve ditched his ass a long time ago. Someone like him shouldn’t even be around his own children. He obviously has bigger priorities. Smh.
Keep doing what you’re doing bc he probably can’t even pass a drug test in court to have his kids. 
He is trying to manipulate you to not going to court. Go to court file for sole custody, child support and stop talking to this unfit loser until he cleans up his act. It is not your job to fix him. Get involved in naranon it’s a group for family members of addicts to learn how to take accountability for enabling addiction.
Don’t take phone calls. Everything in text so you have proof of everything.
You already know the answer. Why let him manipulate you into thinking otherwise. File for custody and ask for mandated drug testing.
Let him try. He won even make it THAT far. He probably can’t hire a decent lawyer, let alone prove he has been able to keep a job, support himself or kids. His behavior is grounds for CPS/DCF to get involved.
He is full of shit, take him to court and protect those babies from him.
Um, no, he won’t get custody, document everything with documentation, and don’t help him ever again.
He would be lucky to get supervised visitation never mind custody
Any proof you can get on him… do it! Get a lawyer! But he has no chance in hell if u have proof of how unfit of a father he is
I love how it’s always the really messed up people that say they will take my kids, like dude I’ve been the only one holding up a job to support these kids, I’ve been the only stable one in their lives. You got this momma! Don’t let him scare you.
Is this even a real question? Get a lawyer, tell them everything, provide all the documentation you possibly can, keep your divorce off all social media, and sit back to watch your ex burn! He will be lucky to get supervised visitation at a CPS visit center.
Don’t let him scare you fight him
Run don’t walk to court!
Honestly a) get a lawyer but b) he has no fighting chance in hell. I wouldn’t be to stressed about it, all u have to do is mention he abuses drugs and they will drug test him,
He is gas lighting you because he knows he has no ground to stand on.
Scare tactics and thinking of a man whose clearly not in the right mind. Don’t let him scare you. He can tell that he can’t control you and us trying to scare u to gain power back
He’s trying to make you look like the bad one, get everything written down dates everything, do not give him ur frickin kids hellllll no. He’s so unstable it sounds like I’m sorry that ur prego again 
good luck momma stay strong
He’s a whole joke, just trying to get in your head.
Haha. No. In my opinion he’d be lucky to get supervised visitation
Mental abuse is a thing. Gaslighting is a thing. DO NOT BELIEVE HIM. My ex said that too and guess what full physical custody.
If you are unable to get a lawyer go to womans shelter, salvation army some place and see if they can help.
My ex said he was always going to come for my kids, I’ve been taking care of them full time for 2 years, it’s just a scare tactic… you’re doing an amazing job!
yea, no…you will be keeping the kids,
You ex is gaslighting you. Simple.
Use your head, how is a drug addict going to take your children.???
Sounds like he’s just saying it to scare you so you don’t try going for full custody or after him for child support. I wouldn’t trust someone popping pills and constantly drinking around my children. And he tried to kill himself… clearly he needs some help and he should be worrying about getting himself better BEFORE he has any kind of time alone with his children. If he isn’t mentally stable then who knows what he could/would do. Especially if he’s on drugs.
He’s just trying to manipulate you. He knows your better than him so he’s trying to hurt you. Being a good mother and working your ass off just for someone to tell you your unfit and your going to lose your children, is hurtful. Hold your head high and make him eat his own words.
He won’t get custody! Y’all are still legally married so get copies of all those records on him for court. That way you have proof of all of this. Otherwise it is inadmissible in court. Document dates and times of everything! Only communication needs to be done by email or text for proof of things said. Him making those threats to you is mental abuse in the court system eyes and it will hurt his chances too. Do not allow the kids around him until this is over either. Otherwise he can keep them and not give them back till court ordered to do so. He has same rights as you do right now. So get temp orders ASAP!
He’s scaring you he’s unstable he just doesn’t want you to take him to court
You know total opposite to what he said is gonna happen… you will be the one getting full custody… ask for the documents from all the hospitals and other proof you can get and you are good to go…
Custody is not up to him. It is up to the judge, and unless your ex has been a long time family law attorney, he does not have a clue what a judge based their decisions on.
Dont be dumb. Sorry but u already know the answer
Its a scare tactic. He will get visitation at least and you can ask for a home study or supervised visits due to his recent behavior.
These fan questions gotta be fake unfollowing
Girl wake up. He can’t touch you and your kids. Get as far away from him as you can. You’ve already proved you can do this on your on. You need to keep your kids safe do forbid him from coming around any of you. Challenge him. Tell him you’ll see him in court and fry his bacon
This really isn’t even a question. He’s clearly delusional and out of his mind, and is just trying to scare you. Don’t let him fool you. No judge would take your kids (especially one that is not his biologically-unless he’s adopted) and give him full custody. He has no means of providing and doesn’t think he needs things for them🤦♀️ it’s all scare tactics. Before my husband and I got married we had separated for a time being, and he was so upset over it and the fact I was taking him to court, that he said the same things to me. That he could take them and I will be given visitation. He was no where near as bad off as yours and I didn’t believe that for a second.
Get a lawyer, get your ducks in a row, and take him to court. Keep your babies safe cuz he sounds like a damn mess.
He won’t get the kids.
Get a restraining order. If he is that out of control DO NOT LET HIM OR HIS MOM TAKE THE KIDS THEY COULD BE AT RISK.
First off stop rescuing him, it’s now a fight of the fittest, talk to a lawyer.
I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Him telling you that is just abuse and a scare tactic. Courts deal with this shit daily and I’m sure they can see through most of the bullshit. His mental instability is documented especially if he’s been to rehab.
No way in he’ll this man will get your kids. He would first have to get an attorney which he couldn’t afford and have a job, home, groceries, etc…you ha e nothing to worry about. In most cases like this the man will threaten his wife yo take the kids, mind did the same. I was not the one unfit., get what I’m saying. Good luck!
Girl just remember her is on drugs no judge will give kids to him! End of story! XO God Bless
Don’t let him in your head like that… learn to laugh at him and keep records of everything you can.
Get a lawyer bit not he can’t you have plenty of porridge of him being an unfit parent! He is trying to scare you
I think you are very safe. The medical records alone would show he is currently unstable. I personally would get custody asap and ask for supervised visitation for him ‘until he is better’
So…what are you worried about? Sounds like you have this buttoned up unless there are details about your own situation you aren’t sharing.
He is just trying to scare you into submission. He’s so full of it.
No judge in their right mind would give HIM the kids with him being like that. He just trying to scare you. Tell him to take you 
. And show the judge all the papers from rehab and everything else. Show him he doesnt scare you. File for custody and child support. He needs to grow up and learn somehow/sometime
You need to keep solid records of everything you said he’s done. Proof is even better. With all he’s done, I doubt there’s a judge anywhere that will let him touch your babies. I get it, though, it’s the same fear any single mom has. Do your best, worry about your babies, and don’t say or do anything that you don’t think a great parent wouldn’t do. I would file for sole custody before he even had a chance to try to take them.
hahahahahahaha you have no worries
Document everything!!! Have the bill from buying plane ticket for him use it. Any incriminating text messages that he’s unfit use it. And anything that’s in your favor … checkstubs that show consistency in a job is key. If he walked out on you he’s abandoning you and kids judges don’t like that. They like stability
Be sure to gather documentation to support your claims of the drug use, hospitalization, ect. Without documentation it’s basically hear say. Him saying that is him projecting. It’s a form of manipulation. Ignore his threats a proceeded confidently to court.
Not going to happen. Talk to a lawyer and they can help you.